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fellowshippers2004-05-23 10:50 am
metal-mummy.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2004-05-23 10:50 am
Unspoken
Title: Unspoken 1/?
Author: merryscott
Pairing: Billy/female, Billy/Dom
Rating: PG? I'm never sure.
Warning: Het content in small doses.
Disclaimer: F-I-C-T-I-O-N ... look it up.
Note 1: This is in no way associated with the fic I posted a couple of days ago.
Note 2: This contains a slightly butchered ficlet that I posted a couple of months ago by the awe-inspiring name of untitled *wink* This is a continuation of that, and I felt it would work well as a beginning to this chapter.
Note 3: Special thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
flumsan who did the beta and helped me out sooo much. ~big, squishy hugs~ and *sloppy kisses* to you love for keeping me sane when I was ready to throw my hands up and just delete the entire thing.
"Open your eyes Billy."
She knows he hears her pleas, even through his own heavy, labored breathing and is choosing to ignore it.
Billy closes his eyes tighter against the voice, focusing on his own heartbeat pounding in his ears. He's close, so close he only needs seconds.
"Billy ... look at me."
It's no longer a plea but a demand and Billy knows he has to do as she's asked. Already knowing and fearing the result, he begrudgingly obeys.
The moment he opens his eyes she knows the truth, she knows what she has suspected for months, but refused to believe. She watches the disappointment flit across his face as his eyes make contact with her own and she knows he has been thinking of blue-grey. She also feels the change and knows he won't last. She can feel him becoming soft, still inside her, slowing down. She can almost hear his internal pleas with his own body not to betray him, but she knows it's over. A lot of things are over.
Billy moved, bringing a hand down between them. He wanted to give her pleasure, even if he can't have his own. None of this is her fault. He blushes and smiles apologetically limply slipping out of her.
She closes her own eyes in frustration, but feels him moving, changing positions before his fingers have even reached her. She is hurt, the rejection like a slap in the face. She loves Billy. She has loved him enough to not speak the obvious, loved him enough to ignore the fact that he doesn't love her, but even love has its limits.
"Don't bother."
The ice in her voice makes Billy flinch. "I'm sorry ... I don't know what's wrong. I'm just tired I guess."
"Let me up." She struggles out from under him and off the bed. "You and I both know exactly what's wrong." Her face is flushed with anger as she steps into a pair of jeans and turns to grab her top off the floor, slipping it over her head.
Billy quickly gets up, pulling on his own jeans and watches as she hops around, putting on her shoes as she is going out the bedroom door. "Where are you going? I don't know what you're talking about. Love, please wait."
She rounds on him just outside the bedroom door, eyes narrowed. "Don't treat me like an idiot. You know exactly what I'm talking about." She turns again, making her way to the front door.
Billy grabs her arm just as she is about to pick up her handbag and keys.
"Just tell me what's wrong, please."
She rounds on him, loud and in his face. "It's over Billy! I'm tired of being your replacement. I'm tired of laying beneath you while you close your eyes and think of him and I'm tired of being face down in the sheets listening to you struggle not to call out his name."
Billy's hand slides off her arm and he stares at her in shock.
"I ... I don't know what you mean. There's no one else."
She grabs her bag and keys and opens the door before turning back to him.
"You're right, there's no one else. There will never be room in your heart or your life for anyone else. That will always be reserved for Dominic." She twists the engagement ring off her finger and throws it at him.
Billy watches as the ring bounces off his chest. His eyes follow it as it hits the floor and rolls across the floor, coming to a stop against a foot with three different shades of pastel polish on the nails.
Billy watches as Dom squats down to one knee and picks the ring up, laying it in his hand. He watches Dom stare down at the ring, turning it over in his palm, and Billy knows he should be scared, shocked or nervous, and probably all three, plus some emotions he can't quite bring to mind at the moment, but he isn't.
He feels none of that.
In fact he feels little of anything these days. His life these past few years has been an emotional whirlwind, and by whirlwind he means the kind of tornadoes you find in mid-west America, the kind Elijah has told him about, the kind that twists and turns through the land, leaving nothing standing and destroying everything. Of course Dom, appropriately enough with his sometimes pale blue, sometimes storm grey eyes, has been the center of it, always at the eye, so calm, waiting peacefully for ... well something Billy has never been prepared to give him. So Billy stopped feeling a long time ago, it seemed the easiest and best path.
He finally looks up to Billy and suddenly Billy feels a lot. Dom's face is innocence and honesty and Billy can see the wide-eyed look of hope in Dom's eyes. Billy wants to reach out to Dom, hold him in his arms, but instead he just stands and stares down at him, unable to move.
Dom's heart is beating hard and fast now, because there is a difference in general knowledge of something and actually hearing it said. Dom has always known that Billy has feelings for him, has always known that Billy loves him, even if Billy can't or won't admit it, and Dom has always made it easy on Billy, never saying his own feelings out loud. Because once they are said, they have to be dealt with and you can't take them back.
Dom, of course, has been dealing with his own feelings, because you can't escape those, but he has spared Billy that burden, because it is indeed a heavy load, and getting heavier with every passing day. Now, however, she has said it for them and they both know the other heard, there's no denying it. This is Dom's chance, handed to him on the proverbial silver platter. He has to ask, they both know that.
"Bill?"
And Billy just stares down at Dominic, fear taking over.
"Yes?" He whispers his reply, because though he knows what Dom is going to ask, he needs to hear the words before he can answer.
Dom smiles a bit at the answer and the situation, because he has imagined being down on one knee in front of Billy, holding a ring and waiting for him to answer 'yes' to a question before, but it wasn't the question he was about to ask.
"Is it true?"
Dom's voice is breathy and faint and the heart that had been beating so irregularly before seems to suddenly stop, and he notices that the room is eerily quiet, no ticking of a clock or whoosh of heating through the vents, as if the whole world waits for Billy's answer.
Billy opens his mouth, not thinking of the words that will pass his lips.
"Yes."
He lets out a long held breath and feels relief, because finally he has let his heart, rather than his mind, speak.
The world starts back up and Dom's face breaks into an eye-crinkling smile. He scrambles up, grabbing Billy and pulling him into a tight embrace.
Billy melts into Dom's arms, against every curve of his body and tucks his face into Dom's neck, breathing heavily. It feels like coming home. Billy thinks he could stay this way forever, right here in this room, never moving and never parting, but he is reminded that life doesn't work that way when he feels Dom begin to move back from him.
Dom's never kissed Billy, not even in the playful way he has kissed Orlando and Viggo and numerous others. Dom's dreamed of kissing Billy, long and soft and completely, and now he is about to, because Billy has been wanting him, Billy has been dreaming of him, Billy has been fantasizing about him, and most importantly, Billy has admitted it. He stares into Billy's eyes and smiles faintly.
"What?" Billy asks, his breath ghosting across Dom's lips, so near to his own.
"I was right, your eyes really are quite enchanting." Dom raises gentle fingers and traces a soft line down Billy's right cheek, before closing his eyes and skimming his lips over Billy's slightly parted ones.
Billy's mind screams to pull away, that it isn't too late, but his body refuses to move. When Dom's lips press firmly against his own, his body betrays him again and Billy finds himself kissing Dom. He feels Dom's tongue, hot and moist, skim lightly over his bottom lip, not teasing, but asking, and Billy feels his own hands twisting into the fabric of Dom's shirt, pulling Dom forward.
The kiss is everything Billy had ever imagined, everything he has ever dreamed it would be, but it isn't perfect, which is exactly as it should be. It's Dom he is kissing after all, and nothing with Dom is ever simple, nothing ever flawless. Their noses bump awkwardly and their teeth keep getting in the way. It's just so billyanddom, and that makes it perfect. Dom's mouth is sweet, and though Billy keeps getting hints of flavors, vanilla, some tropical fruit, they all mix into a flavor Billy knows he will always think of as Dom.
Billy can't imagine Heaven being any better than this moment. One of Dom's hands is pressing into his lower back, the fingers of the other tangled in his hair. Neither able to get close enough to the other, both wanting to hold on to the moment, save it forever. Billy wants it to go on forever, all his resolve melting away. Only when he hears a whimper, that could have come from himself as easily as Dom, does Billy's mind regain some control, reminding him that some moments, no matter how beautiful, were never meant to be.
Dom feels the change even before Billy pushes him away. It's a gentle push, but it hurts Dom more than if Billy had hit him with his fist. He stumbles back a couple of steps and watches Billy.
Billy runs a hand through his hair, not sure what to do, feeling the nervousness and fear that had escaped him earlier crashing in on him.
"Dom ... I ... I'm..."
He stops, unable to express himself, as always when it comes to dealing with Dom.
Dom doesn't know why he's surprised when it happens. He feels stupid having thought it would be so easy. He shakes his head in disbelief at himself, laughing with his eyes closed against the real world that's crashing back in on him. Billy probably thinks he's gone mad, and Dom doesn't think Billy would be too far off the mark with that assessment.
"Christ Bill."
"Dom?" Billy doesn't know what to make of Dom's reaction. "I'm ..."
"Don't." Dom stops laughing and stands, hands on hips, looking over at Billy.
"But Dom, please, let me explain ..." Billy's words are cut off as Dom quickly crosses the distance between them, grabbing his arms and shaking him lightly but firmly.
"Don't you say it Billy. Don't you take it away by saying you're sorry or that you didn't mean for it to happen. Don't." Dom's voice is filled with years of anger and frustration and dripping with desperation.
Billy watches in silence as Dom runs his fingers lightly over his own lips, his eyes far away, before looking back to him with decision in his eyes. Billy feels a new wave of fear and panic, knowing what the look in Dom's eyes means.
"Don't Dom."
Billy's words have no effect.
"I love you Billy."
Finally the words have been said, seriously, without joking, without a hint of "as a friend" at the end. Dom takes Billy's hand in his own, turning it over, and places the ring in his palm, closing Billy's fingers around it. He presses his lips to Billy's once more, quickly and chastely, before Billy can respond and deny him that too, before turning and walking away, back into the hall, into the guest bedroom.
X-posted in![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
monaboyd.
Author: merryscott
Pairing: Billy/female, Billy/Dom
Rating: PG? I'm never sure.
Warning: Het content in small doses.
Disclaimer: F-I-C-T-I-O-N ... look it up.
Note 1: This is in no way associated with the fic I posted a couple of days ago.
Note 2: This contains a slightly butchered ficlet that I posted a couple of months ago by the awe-inspiring name of untitled *wink* This is a continuation of that, and I felt it would work well as a beginning to this chapter.
Note 3: Special thanks to
flumsan who did the beta and helped me out sooo much. ~big, squishy hugs~ and *sloppy kisses* to you love for keeping me sane when I was ready to throw my hands up and just delete the entire thing."Open your eyes Billy."
She knows he hears her pleas, even through his own heavy, labored breathing and is choosing to ignore it.
Billy closes his eyes tighter against the voice, focusing on his own heartbeat pounding in his ears. He's close, so close he only needs seconds.
"Billy ... look at me."
It's no longer a plea but a demand and Billy knows he has to do as she's asked. Already knowing and fearing the result, he begrudgingly obeys.
The moment he opens his eyes she knows the truth, she knows what she has suspected for months, but refused to believe. She watches the disappointment flit across his face as his eyes make contact with her own and she knows he has been thinking of blue-grey. She also feels the change and knows he won't last. She can feel him becoming soft, still inside her, slowing down. She can almost hear his internal pleas with his own body not to betray him, but she knows it's over. A lot of things are over.
Billy moved, bringing a hand down between them. He wanted to give her pleasure, even if he can't have his own. None of this is her fault. He blushes and smiles apologetically limply slipping out of her.
She closes her own eyes in frustration, but feels him moving, changing positions before his fingers have even reached her. She is hurt, the rejection like a slap in the face. She loves Billy. She has loved him enough to not speak the obvious, loved him enough to ignore the fact that he doesn't love her, but even love has its limits.
"Don't bother."
The ice in her voice makes Billy flinch. "I'm sorry ... I don't know what's wrong. I'm just tired I guess."
"Let me up." She struggles out from under him and off the bed. "You and I both know exactly what's wrong." Her face is flushed with anger as she steps into a pair of jeans and turns to grab her top off the floor, slipping it over her head.
Billy quickly gets up, pulling on his own jeans and watches as she hops around, putting on her shoes as she is going out the bedroom door. "Where are you going? I don't know what you're talking about. Love, please wait."
She rounds on him just outside the bedroom door, eyes narrowed. "Don't treat me like an idiot. You know exactly what I'm talking about." She turns again, making her way to the front door.
Billy grabs her arm just as she is about to pick up her handbag and keys.
"Just tell me what's wrong, please."
She rounds on him, loud and in his face. "It's over Billy! I'm tired of being your replacement. I'm tired of laying beneath you while you close your eyes and think of him and I'm tired of being face down in the sheets listening to you struggle not to call out his name."
Billy's hand slides off her arm and he stares at her in shock.
"I ... I don't know what you mean. There's no one else."
She grabs her bag and keys and opens the door before turning back to him.
"You're right, there's no one else. There will never be room in your heart or your life for anyone else. That will always be reserved for Dominic." She twists the engagement ring off her finger and throws it at him.
Billy watches as the ring bounces off his chest. His eyes follow it as it hits the floor and rolls across the floor, coming to a stop against a foot with three different shades of pastel polish on the nails.
Billy watches as Dom squats down to one knee and picks the ring up, laying it in his hand. He watches Dom stare down at the ring, turning it over in his palm, and Billy knows he should be scared, shocked or nervous, and probably all three, plus some emotions he can't quite bring to mind at the moment, but he isn't.
He feels none of that.
In fact he feels little of anything these days. His life these past few years has been an emotional whirlwind, and by whirlwind he means the kind of tornadoes you find in mid-west America, the kind Elijah has told him about, the kind that twists and turns through the land, leaving nothing standing and destroying everything. Of course Dom, appropriately enough with his sometimes pale blue, sometimes storm grey eyes, has been the center of it, always at the eye, so calm, waiting peacefully for ... well something Billy has never been prepared to give him. So Billy stopped feeling a long time ago, it seemed the easiest and best path.
He finally looks up to Billy and suddenly Billy feels a lot. Dom's face is innocence and honesty and Billy can see the wide-eyed look of hope in Dom's eyes. Billy wants to reach out to Dom, hold him in his arms, but instead he just stands and stares down at him, unable to move.
Dom's heart is beating hard and fast now, because there is a difference in general knowledge of something and actually hearing it said. Dom has always known that Billy has feelings for him, has always known that Billy loves him, even if Billy can't or won't admit it, and Dom has always made it easy on Billy, never saying his own feelings out loud. Because once they are said, they have to be dealt with and you can't take them back.
Dom, of course, has been dealing with his own feelings, because you can't escape those, but he has spared Billy that burden, because it is indeed a heavy load, and getting heavier with every passing day. Now, however, she has said it for them and they both know the other heard, there's no denying it. This is Dom's chance, handed to him on the proverbial silver platter. He has to ask, they both know that.
"Bill?"
And Billy just stares down at Dominic, fear taking over.
"Yes?" He whispers his reply, because though he knows what Dom is going to ask, he needs to hear the words before he can answer.
Dom smiles a bit at the answer and the situation, because he has imagined being down on one knee in front of Billy, holding a ring and waiting for him to answer 'yes' to a question before, but it wasn't the question he was about to ask.
"Is it true?"
Dom's voice is breathy and faint and the heart that had been beating so irregularly before seems to suddenly stop, and he notices that the room is eerily quiet, no ticking of a clock or whoosh of heating through the vents, as if the whole world waits for Billy's answer.
Billy opens his mouth, not thinking of the words that will pass his lips.
"Yes."
He lets out a long held breath and feels relief, because finally he has let his heart, rather than his mind, speak.
The world starts back up and Dom's face breaks into an eye-crinkling smile. He scrambles up, grabbing Billy and pulling him into a tight embrace.
Billy melts into Dom's arms, against every curve of his body and tucks his face into Dom's neck, breathing heavily. It feels like coming home. Billy thinks he could stay this way forever, right here in this room, never moving and never parting, but he is reminded that life doesn't work that way when he feels Dom begin to move back from him.
Dom's never kissed Billy, not even in the playful way he has kissed Orlando and Viggo and numerous others. Dom's dreamed of kissing Billy, long and soft and completely, and now he is about to, because Billy has been wanting him, Billy has been dreaming of him, Billy has been fantasizing about him, and most importantly, Billy has admitted it. He stares into Billy's eyes and smiles faintly.
"What?" Billy asks, his breath ghosting across Dom's lips, so near to his own.
"I was right, your eyes really are quite enchanting." Dom raises gentle fingers and traces a soft line down Billy's right cheek, before closing his eyes and skimming his lips over Billy's slightly parted ones.
Billy's mind screams to pull away, that it isn't too late, but his body refuses to move. When Dom's lips press firmly against his own, his body betrays him again and Billy finds himself kissing Dom. He feels Dom's tongue, hot and moist, skim lightly over his bottom lip, not teasing, but asking, and Billy feels his own hands twisting into the fabric of Dom's shirt, pulling Dom forward.
The kiss is everything Billy had ever imagined, everything he has ever dreamed it would be, but it isn't perfect, which is exactly as it should be. It's Dom he is kissing after all, and nothing with Dom is ever simple, nothing ever flawless. Their noses bump awkwardly and their teeth keep getting in the way. It's just so billyanddom, and that makes it perfect. Dom's mouth is sweet, and though Billy keeps getting hints of flavors, vanilla, some tropical fruit, they all mix into a flavor Billy knows he will always think of as Dom.
Billy can't imagine Heaven being any better than this moment. One of Dom's hands is pressing into his lower back, the fingers of the other tangled in his hair. Neither able to get close enough to the other, both wanting to hold on to the moment, save it forever. Billy wants it to go on forever, all his resolve melting away. Only when he hears a whimper, that could have come from himself as easily as Dom, does Billy's mind regain some control, reminding him that some moments, no matter how beautiful, were never meant to be.
Dom feels the change even before Billy pushes him away. It's a gentle push, but it hurts Dom more than if Billy had hit him with his fist. He stumbles back a couple of steps and watches Billy.
Billy runs a hand through his hair, not sure what to do, feeling the nervousness and fear that had escaped him earlier crashing in on him.
"Dom ... I ... I'm..."
He stops, unable to express himself, as always when it comes to dealing with Dom.
Dom doesn't know why he's surprised when it happens. He feels stupid having thought it would be so easy. He shakes his head in disbelief at himself, laughing with his eyes closed against the real world that's crashing back in on him. Billy probably thinks he's gone mad, and Dom doesn't think Billy would be too far off the mark with that assessment.
"Christ Bill."
"Dom?" Billy doesn't know what to make of Dom's reaction. "I'm ..."
"Don't." Dom stops laughing and stands, hands on hips, looking over at Billy.
"But Dom, please, let me explain ..." Billy's words are cut off as Dom quickly crosses the distance between them, grabbing his arms and shaking him lightly but firmly.
"Don't you say it Billy. Don't you take it away by saying you're sorry or that you didn't mean for it to happen. Don't." Dom's voice is filled with years of anger and frustration and dripping with desperation.
Billy watches in silence as Dom runs his fingers lightly over his own lips, his eyes far away, before looking back to him with decision in his eyes. Billy feels a new wave of fear and panic, knowing what the look in Dom's eyes means.
"Don't Dom."
Billy's words have no effect.
"I love you Billy."
Finally the words have been said, seriously, without joking, without a hint of "as a friend" at the end. Dom takes Billy's hand in his own, turning it over, and places the ring in his palm, closing Billy's fingers around it. He presses his lips to Billy's once more, quickly and chastely, before Billy can respond and deny him that too, before turning and walking away, back into the hall, into the guest bedroom.
X-posted in
monaboyd.
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And I know, I know, but I had the biggest grin on my face as the Billy/Ali thing fell apart (and how beautifully too?!) and Billy and Dom came together but the ending... nooooo! Will there be more? Please? (Is prepared to beg)
xx
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