ext_181232 ([identity profile] charlottemay.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] fellowshippers2004-05-21 01:19 pm

Realisation

Title: Realisation
Author: Charlotte May
Email:charlottemay43@hotmail.com
Rating: R
Pairing: Elijah/Sean A.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. I intend no disrespect to Elijah Wood or Sean Astin.
Feedback: My first attempt at this pairing so I’d love to know what you think. :-)
Summary: Elijah isn’t happy with Sean. Not happy at all. :-(
Author’s notes: Written for challenge #5 on [livejournal.com profile] lotrpschallenge (the bad habits one).
Yes, folks, this one’s angsty. (I do this every now and again… I have a need to get it out of my system. Back to your normally scheduled fluff by the next story, promise. ;-))

Cross-posted to [livejournal.com profile] fellow_shippers and my lj.



Realisation

“Oh fuck, Sean, yeah,” murmured Elijah, as Sean’s hand moved slowly but inexorably downwards. He wound his hands into Sean’s hair and pulled him down for a kiss, their bodies pressed together, perfectly aligned on the narrow sofa. Sean pushed his tongue into Elijah’s mouth, tracing the line of his teeth, teasing, possessing. Elijah groaned and, grabbing hold of Sean’s shirt, started pulling it out of his jeans. He heard a sharp intake of breath from the older man when his hands found smooth warm flesh.

“Oh god, Lij,” Sean whispered into his mouth. “I want to fuck you.”

Sean’s words shot straight to Elijah’s cock and he thrust his hips up, seeking friction. “Not here,” he muttered, knowing the sofa was much too small for what they had in mind. “Bedroom.”

“Okay,” agreed Sean, pushing himself up on his arms and looking down at Elijah, passion burning in his eyes. Then he sighed and glanced over his shoulder towards the door. “But I’ll just have to…”

Anger exploded in Elijah. “NO, SEAN!”

“But…”

“I watched you lock the front door. It’s locked. It’s secure. You DO NOT NEED to check it.”

“But…”

“And before you say it, we are not ‘going to bed’, we are ‘going to fuck then get up again’. You do not need to make the house secure for the night.” He glared at his lover. “Not that it isn’t secure already.”

Sean looked at Elijah, the hurt evident in his eyes. A few weeks earlier, Elijah would have felt sorry for him and caved in, but not now. All he felt now was irrational, white-hot, blazing anger. They stared at each other, the silence palpable.

The little scenario they’d just played out happened every time they made love. They’d be ready to adjourn to the bedroom and Sean would have to check the doors were locked, the lights were off and everything was totally, completely *safe*. In Elijah’s opinion, whoever said that the bad habits of lovers were endearing obviously hadn’t encountered Sean Astin’s overwhelming need to check everything at least twice. The only variation in the scene was how mad Elijah got… and that was getting worse each time.

Elijah hated playing second fiddle to a lock and key. He’d tried discussing it with Sean, who’d admitted he was being unreasonable, but he insisted it was just a bad habit he’d got into and he couldn’t help it. Elijah had tried everything he could think of to break Sean of the habit. He’d followed him around as he’d checked the doors, making obscene suggestions. He’d tried to get Sean so aroused that he didn’t care whether the house was locked or not. He’d tried locking and checking everything himself before things got hot and heavy. He’d tried dragging Sean to bed forcibly. Nothing worked. Sean just had to check everything himself, or he was so distracted their lovemaking was a disaster. And on one occasion when Elijah had just let Sean get on with it and check everything without him complaining he’d had to wait so long, he’d fallen asleep sprawled flat on his back on the bed.

Elijah knew that it was Sean’s protective nature that had initially drawn him to the older man. The way their lives imitated art. Sean was Elijah’s Samwise. Always there, always reliable, always looking out for him. Then their relationship had moved on one dark, stormy night when too much was drunk and too much was said and done for things to ever be the same again.

That had been two months ago and now Elijah wasn’t certain they’d made the right move. He felt stifled, squashed… wrapped in cotton wool. The whole ‘checking the house’ thing was just the tip of the iceberg. He couldn’t do anything without Sean asking for details of where he was going, who he was going with and how long he was going to be.

“I’ll just go and check…” said Sean, apparently taking Elijah’s silence as assent, and levering himself off the sofa.

Elijah let out a long breath. How much more of this could he take? Watching Sean walk across the room and head for the front door, he realised with blinding clarity he’d reached his limit. “No Sean, I’m going home,” he said.

Sean spun on his heel and stared at Elijah open-mouthed. “Why? I’ll only be a minute.”

“No, I can’t do this any more. You’re smothering me,” Elijah snapped.

“What?” Confusion was written all over Sean’s face.

“It’s over between us, Sean. I’ve had enough. I’m going home,” he repeated, wearily.

Elijah saw realisation dawn. “You’re ending it?”

Elijah nodded.

“Because of a silly little habit?”

Elijah shook his head. His anger had gone now, to be replaced by an overwhelming sadness. “No, it’s just a symptom of something much bigger, Sean. Something I don’t think I can live with.”

“After what I gave up for you?”

The reference to Sean’s failed marriage hit Elijah like a slap across the face. “It isn’t working and you know it,” he said quietly, knowing his words were completely inadequate.

Something changed in Sean’s expression, it became harder, his eyes steely. His voice was dangerously low. “I think you’d better leave.”

Elijah stood up and walked past him to the front door. Neither of them said a word. He let himself out and made his way to his car. He got in, sat down and slumped forward, resting his head on the steering wheel. Tears pricked at his eyes.

He knew he’d done the right thing, but it still hurt like hell.

[identity profile] zahz87.livejournal.com 2004-05-21 05:32 am (UTC)(link)
nicely done! Awww but so sad.

[identity profile] jadis-charn.livejournal.com 2004-05-21 03:50 pm (UTC)(link)
:(!!

You should definitely feel confident writing angst now. This was really well written. And considering I'm not a big angst fan... :) Very nice job. I loved the subject matter, even though I don't like seeing Astin is RPS. :D

*resists the urge to point and laugh at him*