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fellowshippers2004-03-30 04:50 pm
thisisheaven.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2004-03-30 04:50 pm
Fic: "If you love enough, you'll lie a lot." (BB/DM w/ OB/EW)
Title: "If you love enough, you'll lie a lot." (7/?)
Pairing: Monaboyd, with Orlijah on the side
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Don't know 'em, wish I did. If this actually was true, we wouldn't be writing about it, the papers would.
Feedback: Always welcome, pretty please. (Call me the feedback h0r if you want)
Summary: Last Billy POV chapter for awhile, maybe even forever! They're finally going to NZ and then comes the big confrontation. (I suck at summaries)
AN: Dedicated to my wonderful p-resh![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
pre_expansion, the queen of angst.
I want to thank my wonderful betael_erzulie for her feedback, editting, and of course, putting up with me. She got this reviewed so quickly so I could post it, even though she's very busy and this story isn't the most important thing in the world. Thank you dear. Much love :o)
Previous parts: One Two Three Four Five
Six
BILLY’S POV
You feel a surge of emotions while getting on the plane in the late afternoon. On the one hand, you are going to your home away from home, embarking for the last time on a journey into a magical land where the impossible could actually happen. But then, New Zealand is only an escape, nothing permanent, which only brings you back to reality. Sitting down after winning the argument with Lij for the window seat, you look outside at the drizzling rain and feel the weight of your weaknesses.
Settling in for the long flight, you catch a stewardess’ eye as she passes, and order drinks for you and Lij to take your mind off your musings. Within no time, the plane is in the air and you are laughing at Lij’s mildly smashed, hilarious reaction to the hot towels the flight attendants are handing out. After pulling the puppy dog blue eyes and getting two extra towels, Lij has put them on his face and head, all while making exclamations at his increased feeling of inebriation.
You look at him and have to smile. Although you are dreading landing in New Zealand and having to truly face the reality of filming with Dom, somehow Elijah has gotten you on the plane, and since then, four scotches have done the rest. Blessing your celebrity status and the wonderful service in first class, you close your eyes and revel in the drunken feeling of indifference. Everything is so much simpler when you’re drunk. You can handle Dom, hell, you can handle Sauron right about now. The relief isn’t real, and is at best only temporary, but you’ve been under so much strain that any escape is welcome.
The last few days have been relatively uneventful. You had thrown yourself into work and used your daily routine with Lij to try to clear your mind. But even now there are points in time, especially when you are a little drunk or extra tired, that Elijah’s eyes look a little too big and blue to be proper and his voice just isn’t the one you want to hear.
It is at these times that you crawl into bed and whisper Dom’s name softly into the pillows, or, in some cases, scream it into them. Great thing about pillows, they never repeat anything that they hear, whether it is midnight love confessions or screams of anguish. It is the pillows that catch the tears, sighs, and moans and remain silent. Pillows keep your secrets and your fears; this is why you sleep with three of them.
“Billy. Biiiilly.”
You hear Elijah trying to get your attention and crack your eyes open to look at him. “Yes?”
“I’m sleepy!”
You smile at his pout. “And what would you like me to do about that?”
“Can I use your shoulder?” Lij pleads.
You know you probably won’t sleep for awhile anyway, so you nod in acquiescence. Lij sighs happily before putting a pillow up against your side and leaning against you, eyes already drooping. With his eyes closed, he hands you his computer, head phones attached, and then proceeds to pull the blanket up to his chin.
You begin browsing through the music section, finding hundreds of different playlists. Elijah opens one azure eye, and then blinks owlishly before mumbling something and turning to look at the computer screen. He reaches over your lap and expertly uses the touchpad to find one playlist before saying petulantly, “Listen,” and then burrowing down to go to sleep.
Scanning the list, your eyes widen in recognition of some of the songs, dredging up memories which make your eyes burn from one too many smothered tears. Shrugging it off, you decide to listen since Lij is the music connoisseur. Taking another sip in an attempt to numb yourself from the foreboding chill, you press play, lean back and close your eyes. You hear the opening notes of the all too familiar song and make one last appeal to the any existent god of alcohol to keep your emotions in check.
Peter had given you guys two days off and you were all together for the first time in months. As celebration, the cast had gone into town and found a karaoke bar, which had rapidly become a bad 80’s fest. You hadn’t laughed that hard in a long time. You, Orli, and Sean sat around the table rapidly getting drunk while watching Dom and Lij attempt Pearl Jam. It would actually have been decent had they been sober enough to make out the words playing across the screen. This had rapidly turned into the game “make your own lyrics” and you had almost gotten kicked out of the bar.
At some insanely late hour, Sean, being the ever-present levelheaded hobbit, had ushered the four of you out of the bar and had driven you home. Orli had passed out in the back and Lij was feeling sick, so he dropped you and Dom within some blocks of your house. You had walked down the middle of the street together singing this exact song at the top of your lungs.
Stumbling into your house, Dom had fallen onto the couch, only to fall off moments later. Laughing, you had pulled him into the bedroom and promptly tripped over the piles of clothing on the floor, finally crawling onto the bed. He landed next to you and literally minutes later, you both were fast asleep.
Hours passed and when you opened your eyes again it was dark outside. Your mind felt fuzzy and heavy with sleep. After awhile you became aware of warmth, not coming from the covers, and realized that Dom was in bed with you. Managing to raise your head slightly, your face instantly flushed when you realized what position you were in.
At some point, you must have thrown off your shirt because you were topless and Dom was just in his boxers. Your right arm was around him and he was facing you, right leg tangled between your own. You realized suddenly that his right hand was intertwined with your left hand, resting gently against your chest. Looking over at his face, which was softened in sleep, disheveled hair falling into his eyes, you felt heat again spread across your cheeks. It was when you recognized that the situation was not truly uncomfortable and that a part of you actually enjoyed it that you relaxed, thoughts now swirling in your head, increasing your pain and confusion.
Dom began to mumble as he became lucid. You didn’t move, waiting to see his reaction. He turned a little, and you felt his eyelashes flicker against your shoulder before he jerked slightly, probably realizing the position he was lying in and who he was in bed with.
You forced yourself to keep your eyes open, rather than pretend to still be asleep. He looked up and stared straight into your eyes, pausing for what felt like an eternity before smiling. “G’morning.”
“Or evening, since it’s dark outside.”
“Then it’s morning for me. What time is it?” he asked.
“Probably time for us to get up and for someone to fix my head, I think it’s broken.”
“Mine too. But I’m not ready to get up yet.”
You looked at him inquisitively, wondering if you were going to ignore the compromising position you were in, while simultaneously trying to ignore the feeling of comfort it gave you.
As if reading your mind, Dom raised your linked hands together and turned his head, his cheeks coloring attractively. Wait…Dom? Attractive? But before you could address this new development, he was speaking.
“Um…so…Bills. Thanks for letting me sleep on the bed. Sorry about your head, mate. So…um…I guess we should get up? Wait, no we’re lying down for longer. So…”
“Dom, why are you so nervous?”
“Well, um…this doesn’t bother you?”
A little voice inside your head echoed the same question. Does it bother you? As much as you tried, you couldn’t find any distaste for the feelings being with Dom gave you. On top of that, you realized your stomach was tingling from where Dom’s arm had been. “I guess not.”
Dom looked surprised, but then grinned sheepishly before saying softly, “Me neither.”
You tightened your arm around Dom and he relaxed back next to you before hesitantly raising a hand. Before you knew it, his hand was buried in your hair, softly stroking and massaging your temples. You sighed in approval and burrowed closer, his hand soothing the pain and the questions away, at least for awhile.
Opening your eyes, you see that four songs have played and that Lij is fast asleep. You take the headphones off your ears for a moment, and stop a passing stewardess for another scotch. Shifting your position a little and flexing your arm to keep it from falling asleep, you take another drink. Picking up your thoughts where they left off, you grimace. That night had only been the beginning. You both had stayed in bed for the rest of the night, sometimes speaking softly, and other times dozing.
In fact, Dom had spent the next night in your bed as well, spending all his time off with you. After that time, you both had wound up in bed several times, sleeping and holding each other, reveling in the comfort and peaceful feeling. It had taken awhile before any serious questions had come up and any more progress had been made.
Turning the volume up a notch for the next song, you listen and tap your fingers to the beat of the drum. Suddenly the song picks up and the line, “I used to know the sound of a smile in your voice” especially catches your attention. Although not exactly your kind of music, you decide to keep listening.
Lij, what are you trying to do to me? Your inner voice screams as you listen to the unfamiliar song. Sometimes it really does feel like someone cuts lines out of the story of your life to sing about them, bringing tears to your eyes.
You were lying in Dom’s bed with him draped across you, both of you only wearing boxers. It was raining heavily outside, lightening flashing through the window. The two of you had been lying together silently for a couple of hours, not really sleeping or awake, just enjoying the extra time together. Through the past couple of weeks, you had learned the best ways to sleep with Dom and now sat comfortably propped up against the pillows with Dom’s head on your stomach.
“Billy?” Dom whispered.
“Mmph?”
Dom shifted nervously and looked up into your eyes before grabbing your hand and squeezing it faintly. “Do you ever think about what we’re doing? About us, I mean.”
Swallowing, you tried to remain calm, knowing the conversation was bound to occur sooner or later. “Yes, Dommie. Actually, I think about it quite a bit.”
“So…what do you think?”
“I dunno. But I do like this. Guess it’s some weird New Zealand thing, probably rubbing off from Orli and Lij.”
The light in his eyes became shadowed and the crushed look he gave you made your heart clench. You didn’t want to lie, but truthfully you didn’t know what was going on. Why were the lines becoming blurred? Why do you feel things that you should never feel, especially for Dom? And on top if it, why does it all feel so right? He’s your friend; you wanted to make him happy, this reasoning you could understand. Yet, as you waited for his response, you couldn’t deny an inexplicable urge to run your fingers through his hair and kiss his forehead, wishing you had the courage to go further.
“OK, I guess that sounds right.”
You knew you had to say something, make it better somehow, so you searched for the right words. “That’s not everything, not even close. I don’t know why it feels so good to be this way with you; I’ve never felt like that before, never with a mate. It’s just after that first night it feels right to stay with you. I don’t know how long this will last, or what this thing is. I wish I could explain this more, but I just honestly don’t understand it,” you finished lamely.
Dom’s grin reappeared and in a rare show of sentimentality, he whispered, “You know, that night, I woke up before you did. We were lying together just like that and it made me feel so happy. I wanted to see if you would feel the same way.”
You know the feeling when you’re standing on the edge of something great? It felt like that during the past couple of weeks, you and Dom had been walking a dangerous line between friendship and something more. As he took your hand, you felt yourself slipping into that unknown grey area. The one comfort you took as you fell was that he was falling with you. It didn’t make the step any less scary, but it was a comfort that you weren’t taking it alone. So, holding his gaze, you smiled reassuringly.
Before you knew it, he was leaning closer to you, and your eyes flickered to his lips, merely inches away from your own. Lifting your face to close the final distance, you felt warm, firm lips against your own. Although it was a simple kiss, lasting less than a couple of breaths, the gesture resonated through your soul, altering the very framework you used to set up everything you believed in. It wasn’t until you realized that you loved him that all those changes finally fell into place.
Turbulence jolts you back into reality and the scotch begins to churn in your stomach. Grabbing one of the airline bottled waters, you start sipping some in an attempt to quell your nausea. The captain makes some announcement, but the music blocks it out and a new, yet familiar tune, takes you back to your memories.
However, before you can begin another tragic reminiscence, an overwhelming surge of anger and pain fills your chest. The words reproach you and the melody haunts you. Was this all your fault? Did you leave because you were too afraid? And why can’t you rebuild yourself and your world without him? Dom had come into your life as some kind of extra comfort, nice to have, but not necessary to live. When exactly did he become your air?
“You can’t see when all your dreams are coming true.” But you did see, and that’s the problem. You knew when you left Dom that you were leaving your happiness. Is it bad that you can’t remember why you left anymore? The pain has blocked out everything and you’ve become a shell of yourself, a mere shadow without a heart or a soul because Dom had claimed both.
By now your buzz has definitely worn off and you’re seriously contemplating waking Lij up to yell at him for making you listen to these songs. But you know he’s trying to help, and he’s put up with you for so long that maybe you deserve the extra torture. You decide to take Lij’s idea and try to sleep for the remainder of the flight, carefully putting the headphones as far away from you as possible.
Two hours later, Elijah nudges you awake and then asks if you’re alright. Not understanding, he takes a napkin and dips it in ice water before tracing the tear tracks on your face that you hadn’t realized were even there. Surprised, you don’t know how to answer and just settle on letting Lij distract you for the remainder of the flight.
“Ladies and gentlemen, the captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign signaling our initial approach into Wellington, New Zealand. Please return to your seats and remain seated with your seat belts securely fastened. Please stow all carry-on items, and return your seats and tray tables to their upright and locked position. At this time we ask you to discontinue the use of your portable electronic devices until we have reached the gate. Flight attendants will be passing through the isles to do a final check before landing. Thank you for flying Air New Zealand, we hope you’ve enjoyed your flight and have a pleasant stay in Wellington.”
You and Lij mimic the stewardess’ announcement in perfect unison. Although you’d like to claim your brilliant memorization of these lines to acting technique, it’s really just due to the sheer amount of times that you’ve flown in and out of New Zealand that you know the words.
Your smile fades and you look through the window over the beautiful landscape of your home away from home. But suddenly, the mountains look treacherous and the picturesque fields and forests look empty and barren. As the plane approaches the ground, you can’t help but remember a line between you and Ian about the calm before the storm. Your only response to that now is, how fitting.
Songs: “I want you to want me” – Cheap Trick
“Say anything” – Good Charlotte
“Sympathy” – Goo Goo Dolls
Pairing: Monaboyd, with Orlijah on the side
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Don't know 'em, wish I did. If this actually was true, we wouldn't be writing about it, the papers would.
Feedback: Always welcome, pretty please. (Call me the feedback h0r if you want)
Summary: Last Billy POV chapter for awhile, maybe even forever! They're finally going to NZ and then comes the big confrontation. (I suck at summaries)
AN: Dedicated to my wonderful p-resh
pre_expansion, the queen of angst.I want to thank my wonderful beta
el_erzulie for her feedback, editting, and of course, putting up with me. She got this reviewed so quickly so I could post it, even though she's very busy and this story isn't the most important thing in the world. Thank you dear. Much love :o) Previous parts: One Two Three Four Five
Six
BILLY’S POV
You feel a surge of emotions while getting on the plane in the late afternoon. On the one hand, you are going to your home away from home, embarking for the last time on a journey into a magical land where the impossible could actually happen. But then, New Zealand is only an escape, nothing permanent, which only brings you back to reality. Sitting down after winning the argument with Lij for the window seat, you look outside at the drizzling rain and feel the weight of your weaknesses.
Settling in for the long flight, you catch a stewardess’ eye as she passes, and order drinks for you and Lij to take your mind off your musings. Within no time, the plane is in the air and you are laughing at Lij’s mildly smashed, hilarious reaction to the hot towels the flight attendants are handing out. After pulling the puppy dog blue eyes and getting two extra towels, Lij has put them on his face and head, all while making exclamations at his increased feeling of inebriation.
You look at him and have to smile. Although you are dreading landing in New Zealand and having to truly face the reality of filming with Dom, somehow Elijah has gotten you on the plane, and since then, four scotches have done the rest. Blessing your celebrity status and the wonderful service in first class, you close your eyes and revel in the drunken feeling of indifference. Everything is so much simpler when you’re drunk. You can handle Dom, hell, you can handle Sauron right about now. The relief isn’t real, and is at best only temporary, but you’ve been under so much strain that any escape is welcome.
The last few days have been relatively uneventful. You had thrown yourself into work and used your daily routine with Lij to try to clear your mind. But even now there are points in time, especially when you are a little drunk or extra tired, that Elijah’s eyes look a little too big and blue to be proper and his voice just isn’t the one you want to hear.
It is at these times that you crawl into bed and whisper Dom’s name softly into the pillows, or, in some cases, scream it into them. Great thing about pillows, they never repeat anything that they hear, whether it is midnight love confessions or screams of anguish. It is the pillows that catch the tears, sighs, and moans and remain silent. Pillows keep your secrets and your fears; this is why you sleep with three of them.
“Billy. Biiiilly.”
You hear Elijah trying to get your attention and crack your eyes open to look at him. “Yes?”
“I’m sleepy!”
You smile at his pout. “And what would you like me to do about that?”
“Can I use your shoulder?” Lij pleads.
You know you probably won’t sleep for awhile anyway, so you nod in acquiescence. Lij sighs happily before putting a pillow up against your side and leaning against you, eyes already drooping. With his eyes closed, he hands you his computer, head phones attached, and then proceeds to pull the blanket up to his chin.
You begin browsing through the music section, finding hundreds of different playlists. Elijah opens one azure eye, and then blinks owlishly before mumbling something and turning to look at the computer screen. He reaches over your lap and expertly uses the touchpad to find one playlist before saying petulantly, “Listen,” and then burrowing down to go to sleep.
Scanning the list, your eyes widen in recognition of some of the songs, dredging up memories which make your eyes burn from one too many smothered tears. Shrugging it off, you decide to listen since Lij is the music connoisseur. Taking another sip in an attempt to numb yourself from the foreboding chill, you press play, lean back and close your eyes. You hear the opening notes of the all too familiar song and make one last appeal to the any existent god of alcohol to keep your emotions in check.
I want you to want me
I need you to need me
I’d love you to love me
And I’m begging you to beg me.
I need you to need me
I’d love you to love me
And I’m begging you to beg me.
Peter had given you guys two days off and you were all together for the first time in months. As celebration, the cast had gone into town and found a karaoke bar, which had rapidly become a bad 80’s fest. You hadn’t laughed that hard in a long time. You, Orli, and Sean sat around the table rapidly getting drunk while watching Dom and Lij attempt Pearl Jam. It would actually have been decent had they been sober enough to make out the words playing across the screen. This had rapidly turned into the game “make your own lyrics” and you had almost gotten kicked out of the bar.
At some insanely late hour, Sean, being the ever-present levelheaded hobbit, had ushered the four of you out of the bar and had driven you home. Orli had passed out in the back and Lij was feeling sick, so he dropped you and Dom within some blocks of your house. You had walked down the middle of the street together singing this exact song at the top of your lungs.
Stumbling into your house, Dom had fallen onto the couch, only to fall off moments later. Laughing, you had pulled him into the bedroom and promptly tripped over the piles of clothing on the floor, finally crawling onto the bed. He landed next to you and literally minutes later, you both were fast asleep.
Hours passed and when you opened your eyes again it was dark outside. Your mind felt fuzzy and heavy with sleep. After awhile you became aware of warmth, not coming from the covers, and realized that Dom was in bed with you. Managing to raise your head slightly, your face instantly flushed when you realized what position you were in.
At some point, you must have thrown off your shirt because you were topless and Dom was just in his boxers. Your right arm was around him and he was facing you, right leg tangled between your own. You realized suddenly that his right hand was intertwined with your left hand, resting gently against your chest. Looking over at his face, which was softened in sleep, disheveled hair falling into his eyes, you felt heat again spread across your cheeks. It was when you recognized that the situation was not truly uncomfortable and that a part of you actually enjoyed it that you relaxed, thoughts now swirling in your head, increasing your pain and confusion.
Dom began to mumble as he became lucid. You didn’t move, waiting to see his reaction. He turned a little, and you felt his eyelashes flicker against your shoulder before he jerked slightly, probably realizing the position he was lying in and who he was in bed with.
You forced yourself to keep your eyes open, rather than pretend to still be asleep. He looked up and stared straight into your eyes, pausing for what felt like an eternity before smiling. “G’morning.”
“Or evening, since it’s dark outside.”
“Then it’s morning for me. What time is it?” he asked.
“Probably time for us to get up and for someone to fix my head, I think it’s broken.”
“Mine too. But I’m not ready to get up yet.”
You looked at him inquisitively, wondering if you were going to ignore the compromising position you were in, while simultaneously trying to ignore the feeling of comfort it gave you.
As if reading your mind, Dom raised your linked hands together and turned his head, his cheeks coloring attractively. Wait…Dom? Attractive? But before you could address this new development, he was speaking.
“Um…so…Bills. Thanks for letting me sleep on the bed. Sorry about your head, mate. So…um…I guess we should get up? Wait, no we’re lying down for longer. So…”
“Dom, why are you so nervous?”
“Well, um…this doesn’t bother you?”
A little voice inside your head echoed the same question. Does it bother you? As much as you tried, you couldn’t find any distaste for the feelings being with Dom gave you. On top of that, you realized your stomach was tingling from where Dom’s arm had been. “I guess not.”
Dom looked surprised, but then grinned sheepishly before saying softly, “Me neither.”
You tightened your arm around Dom and he relaxed back next to you before hesitantly raising a hand. Before you knew it, his hand was buried in your hair, softly stroking and massaging your temples. You sighed in approval and burrowed closer, his hand soothing the pain and the questions away, at least for awhile.
Opening your eyes, you see that four songs have played and that Lij is fast asleep. You take the headphones off your ears for a moment, and stop a passing stewardess for another scotch. Shifting your position a little and flexing your arm to keep it from falling asleep, you take another drink. Picking up your thoughts where they left off, you grimace. That night had only been the beginning. You both had stayed in bed for the rest of the night, sometimes speaking softly, and other times dozing.
In fact, Dom had spent the next night in your bed as well, spending all his time off with you. After that time, you both had wound up in bed several times, sleeping and holding each other, reveling in the comfort and peaceful feeling. It had taken awhile before any serious questions had come up and any more progress had been made.
Turning the volume up a notch for the next song, you listen and tap your fingers to the beat of the drum. Suddenly the song picks up and the line, “I used to know the sound of a smile in your voice” especially catches your attention. Although not exactly your kind of music, you decide to keep listening.
Some say that time changes,
best friends can become strangers
But I don't want that, no not for you
If you just stay with me we could make it through
When will you laugh again,
laugh like you did back when
We'd make noise 'til 3 am,
And the neighbors would complain
best friends can become strangers
But I don't want that, no not for you
If you just stay with me we could make it through
When will you laugh again,
laugh like you did back when
We'd make noise 'til 3 am,
And the neighbors would complain
Lij, what are you trying to do to me? Your inner voice screams as you listen to the unfamiliar song. Sometimes it really does feel like someone cuts lines out of the story of your life to sing about them, bringing tears to your eyes.
You were lying in Dom’s bed with him draped across you, both of you only wearing boxers. It was raining heavily outside, lightening flashing through the window. The two of you had been lying together silently for a couple of hours, not really sleeping or awake, just enjoying the extra time together. Through the past couple of weeks, you had learned the best ways to sleep with Dom and now sat comfortably propped up against the pillows with Dom’s head on your stomach.
“Billy?” Dom whispered.
“Mmph?”
Dom shifted nervously and looked up into your eyes before grabbing your hand and squeezing it faintly. “Do you ever think about what we’re doing? About us, I mean.”
Swallowing, you tried to remain calm, knowing the conversation was bound to occur sooner or later. “Yes, Dommie. Actually, I think about it quite a bit.”
“So…what do you think?”
“I dunno. But I do like this. Guess it’s some weird New Zealand thing, probably rubbing off from Orli and Lij.”
The light in his eyes became shadowed and the crushed look he gave you made your heart clench. You didn’t want to lie, but truthfully you didn’t know what was going on. Why were the lines becoming blurred? Why do you feel things that you should never feel, especially for Dom? And on top if it, why does it all feel so right? He’s your friend; you wanted to make him happy, this reasoning you could understand. Yet, as you waited for his response, you couldn’t deny an inexplicable urge to run your fingers through his hair and kiss his forehead, wishing you had the courage to go further.
“OK, I guess that sounds right.”
You knew you had to say something, make it better somehow, so you searched for the right words. “That’s not everything, not even close. I don’t know why it feels so good to be this way with you; I’ve never felt like that before, never with a mate. It’s just after that first night it feels right to stay with you. I don’t know how long this will last, or what this thing is. I wish I could explain this more, but I just honestly don’t understand it,” you finished lamely.
Dom’s grin reappeared and in a rare show of sentimentality, he whispered, “You know, that night, I woke up before you did. We were lying together just like that and it made me feel so happy. I wanted to see if you would feel the same way.”
You know the feeling when you’re standing on the edge of something great? It felt like that during the past couple of weeks, you and Dom had been walking a dangerous line between friendship and something more. As he took your hand, you felt yourself slipping into that unknown grey area. The one comfort you took as you fell was that he was falling with you. It didn’t make the step any less scary, but it was a comfort that you weren’t taking it alone. So, holding his gaze, you smiled reassuringly.
Before you knew it, he was leaning closer to you, and your eyes flickered to his lips, merely inches away from your own. Lifting your face to close the final distance, you felt warm, firm lips against your own. Although it was a simple kiss, lasting less than a couple of breaths, the gesture resonated through your soul, altering the very framework you used to set up everything you believed in. It wasn’t until you realized that you loved him that all those changes finally fell into place.
Turbulence jolts you back into reality and the scotch begins to churn in your stomach. Grabbing one of the airline bottled waters, you start sipping some in an attempt to quell your nausea. The captain makes some announcement, but the music blocks it out and a new, yet familiar tune, takes you back to your memories.
I'm killing myself from the inside out
And all my fears have pushed you out
Oh yeah it's easy to forget yeah
You choke on the regrets yeah
Who the hell did I think I was
Nowhere's home and I'm all wrong
And all the talk and all the lies
Were all the empty things disguised as me
And all my fears have pushed you out
Oh yeah it's easy to forget yeah
You choke on the regrets yeah
Who the hell did I think I was
Nowhere's home and I'm all wrong
And all the talk and all the lies
Were all the empty things disguised as me
However, before you can begin another tragic reminiscence, an overwhelming surge of anger and pain fills your chest. The words reproach you and the melody haunts you. Was this all your fault? Did you leave because you were too afraid? And why can’t you rebuild yourself and your world without him? Dom had come into your life as some kind of extra comfort, nice to have, but not necessary to live. When exactly did he become your air?
“You can’t see when all your dreams are coming true.” But you did see, and that’s the problem. You knew when you left Dom that you were leaving your happiness. Is it bad that you can’t remember why you left anymore? The pain has blocked out everything and you’ve become a shell of yourself, a mere shadow without a heart or a soul because Dom had claimed both.
By now your buzz has definitely worn off and you’re seriously contemplating waking Lij up to yell at him for making you listen to these songs. But you know he’s trying to help, and he’s put up with you for so long that maybe you deserve the extra torture. You decide to take Lij’s idea and try to sleep for the remainder of the flight, carefully putting the headphones as far away from you as possible.
Two hours later, Elijah nudges you awake and then asks if you’re alright. Not understanding, he takes a napkin and dips it in ice water before tracing the tear tracks on your face that you hadn’t realized were even there. Surprised, you don’t know how to answer and just settle on letting Lij distract you for the remainder of the flight.
“Ladies and gentlemen, the captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign signaling our initial approach into Wellington, New Zealand. Please return to your seats and remain seated with your seat belts securely fastened. Please stow all carry-on items, and return your seats and tray tables to their upright and locked position. At this time we ask you to discontinue the use of your portable electronic devices until we have reached the gate. Flight attendants will be passing through the isles to do a final check before landing. Thank you for flying Air New Zealand, we hope you’ve enjoyed your flight and have a pleasant stay in Wellington.”
You and Lij mimic the stewardess’ announcement in perfect unison. Although you’d like to claim your brilliant memorization of these lines to acting technique, it’s really just due to the sheer amount of times that you’ve flown in and out of New Zealand that you know the words.
Your smile fades and you look through the window over the beautiful landscape of your home away from home. But suddenly, the mountains look treacherous and the picturesque fields and forests look empty and barren. As the plane approaches the ground, you can’t help but remember a line between you and Ian about the calm before the storm. Your only response to that now is, how fitting.
Songs: “I want you to want me” – Cheap Trick
“Say anything” – Good Charlotte
“Sympathy” – Goo Goo Dolls
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~Jewels
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It's back to Dom POV after this, and of course there needs to be more angst first. I wouldn't spend so many chapters leading up to this unless there's going to be an explosion of a confrontation! hehe, wow, that was dramatic.
I'm so glad you're liking it! Thank you for the comments and keep reading please! :o)
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I actually have another fic idea in my head, so maybe I'll post two at once! Thank you again!
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Dom's coming back, so of course I'm going to make it angsty, but there's going to be some action now...woohoo! I'm so glad you're still reading, thank you for all the encouragement.
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little blob
I wonder if Billy's surge of emotions while getting on planes is similar to mind. I think I'm going to need some nice sedatives Ham, like... vodka.
WHat? Billy would so never (love shack baby) win over Blob in a fight over the window seat. Blob would use his big, blue eyeballs and soft, pouty lips and general hotness to lure Billy to
the airplane bathroomthe aisle and then sieze the seat. "I claim this seat in name of BloB."I HATE MY GODDAMN CTRL KEY.
Within no time, the plane is in the air and you are laughing at Lij’s mildly smashed, hilarious reaction to the hot towels the flight attendants are handing out.
Now once again I am wondering about Blob. What is it about these hot towels that has him so excited. Is there something about warm cotton that makes him warm in his cotton? Buldging Blob.
Why does he need extra towels? Naughty Elijah.
Blessing
yourElijah's celebrity status and the wonderful service in first class, you close your eyes and revel in the drunken feeling of indifference.Billy would know all about relief. And strain. Especially after from what we hear about his smelly bum. And what we know about Kylie's.
I really like your paragraph about pillows. It's something that many people can probably relate to thinking about back in there childhood or early adolescence where they screamed or sobbed into a pillow. Either because of something done to them by parents, peers, or significant others.
I do have a grip with pillows though, especially mine. Sometimes I think those evil penguins are out to get me man. They are so cunni--sdknlgbaskml;b,bs';vsmdgahhhhhhh---. I mean-- Pengiuns are good. *shifty*
NO BILLY. Don't do it. If Elijah is anything like
mesome people you will wake up with a wet shoulder. Rule Number 8374 in dealing with drunk friends, don't let them sleep on you....Lij is the music connoisseur...
What do you mean?! I can obviously see that Elijah doesn't have great songs like Simply Irrestiable, Mas Tequila, or anything by Meatloaf on his computer.
I want to go to a karaoke bar. With Ham Spears.
See if this had been my life after Dom crawled up off the couch he would have sat down and read fan fic that Billy had accidently left on the computer while he passed out.
I bet Billy is nice and doesn't kick poor Dom out of his bed. No, Dom is special. He doesn't have to deal with toes. *glares* *pouts*
Second flashback is a good continuance of the first. As I already said before this line: “You know, that night, I woke up before you did. We were lying together just like that and it made me feel so happy. I wanted to see if you would feel the same way.” is so perfect and wonderful that I just want to go and jump in front of the U bus or the P2P and end my pathetic, lonely life. [/melodramatic]
You know the feeling when you’re standing on the edge of something great?
Yeah, one time I was standing on the edge of a wall protecting people from going off a huge dropoff. It was great. And then I tripped... and almost fell off.
Poor stomach churning Billy. He should throwup on Elijah, payback for the drool.
No Billy. It's all Dom's fault. He is teh ev0l.
I want a mountain. ANd a goat.