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Title:: Chocolate-Covered Raisins and Peppermint Schnapps
Author::

silentescape
Pairing:: DM/EW implied, DM/BB mention
Rating:: PG
Feedback:: yes please!
Disclaimer:: don't know, don't own
Note:: no beta (as usual) and the story is in Elijah's POV

I shivered despite the warmth that surrounded me, and mused the thought that no matter what the temperature was, being alone in this world, it always felt so damn cold. Sure, there were always people around me. There never seemed to be a happy medium with individuals I met. They were either too fake, or too genuine for my liking. I couldn’t help but feel entirely disconnected from the human race and wonder if it was my fault. When exactly did I become an island, though? I don’t remember any certain event that would have caused such a thing, and I don’t remember any sort of gradual fall into this. All I know is I woke up one morning and realized that it was there, and that it had been for some time.

The roar of the ocean filled my ears as I tossed some chocolate-covered raisins into my mouth, and washed them down with some Peppermint Schnapps, my diet for the past few days. I knew it wasn’t healthy, but I just didn’t give a damn right now. The most important thing to me at this moment was figuring out what was wrong with me, and what I could do about it without seeking the aid of a psychologist and letting the whole world know something was wrong. That I wasn’t as perfect as I seemed to be. Or maybe I should let the world know that I am messed up. It could be a nice, bitter smack in the face to everyone that I’m human too.

Maybe that doesn’t seem to make much sense.

“Elijah! I tried calling you, but you didn’t answer,” a British voice called over the gentle breeze coming from over the water. It was only moments before Dominic plopped down into the sand by my side, digging his hand into my bag of chocolate-covered raisins and retrieving a handful to eat one at a time. “Figured you’d be here. Oh, these are bloody fantastic!” he exclaimed as he stared at the sweets in his hand before shoving them all into his mouth and reaching for more.

I smiled. Sometimes the simplest thing could make Dom the happiest guy, and I envied that about him. I grabbed a last handful of the candy and nudged the rest of the bag toward him, knowing that he’d probably eat the whole half pound bag that I had bought in bulk and be sick afterwards. He greedily grabbed the bag and set in his lap with his signature cheeky grin. “Don’t eat them too fast,” I warned and pulled out my pack of cigarettes and lighter from the pocket of my jacket that was laying next to me, then replaced the contents with the candy. I didn’t even really want a cigarette, I realized, as I pulled one from the pack and stuck it in my mouth.

“What are you doing out here?” Dom asked through a mouthful of chocolate and chewed up raisins. It took a long moment to decipher exactly what he said, though he seemed to think he spoke clearly enough. “Something on your mind?”

I shook my head. “I just wanted to get out,” I lied.

“Lies,” Dom commented boldly. I only stared at him as he popped another candy into his mouth. He only chewed and looked out at the water thoughtfully. “Don’t look at me like that. I know you and your habits, and this is a habit you picked up from me.”

“No I didn’t...did I?”

“Yup,” he nodded, tearing his gaze from the water to me. Once again I was reminded that his eyes were the color of the ocean, and just as unpredictable. Hell, Dom was the absolute best personification of the ocean one could find in this world. “Remember that day back in New Zealand, after Billy broke up with me? You found me on the beach with a bottle of Captain Morgan’s and a bag full of Reese’s.” He paused for a moment and looked back at the water. “Reese’s don’t sound half bad right now, actually.” Then he paused again, obviously thinking about how great that junk food sounded at the moment, before he went on again. “But, remember? You asked me if something was up, and I told you that if ever you found me by a body of water with sweets and alcohol, something was wrong. Somewhere along the line, you seemed to have picked up that habit.”

I remembered that day clearly. The weather was just amazing, and all the guys planned on going surfing for the afternoon. Billy had made no indication of what had happened that night before with him and Dom, but the Scot was always hard to read, anyway. Dom could hide things just as easily, usually. He was an actor after all. They both were, and sometimes that was a little unnerving. But I remember going to find Dom after plans were made, to see if he wanted to join us. When I couldn’t find him at his trailer or at home, I headed toward the closest beach and found him there.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

I took a long drag from my cigarette, reveling the burning sensation that the smoke caused in my mouth, and momentarily wondered who the first person was to ever think up and start smoking, and why. “I’d rather not talk about it,” I breathed after a moment, watching the smoke I inhaled come back out of my mouth and disappear into the ocean air.

“You sure?” he asked, placing a hand on my shoulder.

“Positive,” I nodded. I think I lied, but I couldn’t even be sure of that right now.

“Right now is a good a time as any, you know.”

“I know.”

“Positive you’re positive?” He was pushing.

“Dom...”

“No harm in just making sure. But you are sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

I sighed and stubbed my half-smoked cigarette out into the sand before thinking about what I was doing. Silently, I cursed myself for wasting half a good smoke. Then I silently cursed Dom for being able to get me to talk. “I just feel so detached from everyone, Dom. I can’t really explain it, but it’s just there,” I spoke at length while searching for the right words to make him understand. “I just feel numb to almost everything. And though there’s people around me, I feel so isolated and alone. Kind of like a kid that had just started a new school after moving halfway across the country. Something is just missing.”

Dom thought for a long moment and wrapped his arm around my shoulder as he silently offered some of the chocolate-covered raisins to me. I took a couple and stuck them in my mouth and slowly chewed while waiting his reply and hoping he understood my slight bit of senselessness. But he didn’t say anything. He just kept his arm around me and gazed at me with that understanding look that I could see out of the corner of my eye. Maybe he was just waiting for me to elaborate, which I did.

“I feel like I’m just going along with the waves now. Everything is so mechanical. I smile when I’m supposed to, say what I think others want to hear, and so on. But I just don’t feel it. It’s like I’m on a completely different level than everyone else around me, and it’s impossible to relate to anyone like I used to. I don’t know how or why it got to be like this. I’m at a loss here I feel like I’m living a movie that I didn’t even realize I was cast on.”

“Maybe your answer is right there,” Dom finally spoke after a long moment. “You have been working like crazy lately, and you’re more than likely just burnt out. It might be good to take some time off for yourself and relax.”

I considered his advice for a long while. “What if that doesn’t help?”

“You won’t know unless you try. But if that doesn’t work, I’ll be sure to find a bunch of lovely ladies to send your way to do with as you please. That is, unless you'd rather have a Sblomie, which I think is even better,” he winked.

I laughed and tossed a chocolate-covered raisin at his head. "You're impossible sometimes, Dom."

"Home?" he inquired.

I let out a deep breath and nodded. "Home."

to be continued? i dunno...we'll see...

xposted to

domlijah and my lj