fellowshippers | Ficlet: Facts of Life 1/1

Title: Facts of Life

Author: HMC

Rating: G.... What have I become!?

Pairing: Monaboyd

Summary: Little Ficlet. Dom hears stories.

One day when Billy was six years old, he went for a walk with his sister, Margaret. Their next door neighbor Sheila, had a new puppy and also happened to be taking a walk with him. It was a darling little thing, would one day be a healthy golden retriever, and had the sweetest disposition. But now, it was only an armful, and the most adorable thing in town.... besides Billy of course.

When Margaret saw the dog, she immediately charged forwards and hugged it, cooing like any young girl would when confronted with a cute little animal.

“Oh, Mrs. Sheila, he’s beautiful! What a sweet wee puppy! What’s your name little guy?”

“Bosdan.” Sheila answered for the puppy, and Margaret squealed.

Billy meanwhile, stayed a few feet back, looking a bit confused. “Maggie,” he tapped her on the shoulder. “How did you know that the puppy was a boy-dog?”

Margaret blushed and looked to Sheila for an escape. Being a kind and understanding old woman, Sheila knelt down next to the tiny boy and explained gently. “Billy, you see there?” She pointed between the puppy’s legs, and Billy nodded. “Well, boys have those, and girls don’t.”

Billy’s eyes widened, a horrified expression set on his face. “They DON’T??!”

#@#@#@#@#@#@

Dominic thought he would pass out from laughing so hard. He was visiting Scotland for a few weeks and he and Margaret had grown close. So close in fact, that Margaret thought it perfectly justified to tell embarrassing stories about Billy when he was growing up. Granted, a few beers had helped loosen her tongue, but she seemed all too eager to share cute but mortifying tales. After the last little gem, Dom was howling, and he spilled his beer, but took no notice.

“Hey Bills! It was the *dog* that turned you off to women!!” Any further words were lost in hysterical fits of drunken laughter.

Billy was sitting in the living room while the two most important people in his life were out on the porch trying to get him to die of embarrassment. “Jesus, give me strength....” He turned up the television to drown them out.

He didn’t hear Margaret start a new story. “Ooh! There was a time when he was seventeen and this older lass started calling him ‘wee-willy-billy!!!’”

theend

Ficlet: Facts of Life 1/1

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