ext_88877 ([identity profile] jettabug.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] fellowshippers2004-03-23 08:50 pm

(no subject)

Title: Of Love & Life (3/?)
Author: [livejournal.com profile] jettabug
Pairing: Monaboyd
Rating: PG-13 for swearing
Feedback: It's my drug of choice!
Author's Notes: Yay! Part three!
Summary: Dom sees a commercial.



Of Love & Life: Part Three
by Jenna


“Dom, it’s Orlando. Answer your phone, you wanker. Elijah talked to Billy and found out what’s going on. We’re all really sorry man, this must be tough. Give me a call.”

Dom threw a cushion across the room at the answering machine, and knocked it and his phone to the floor.

He felt a bolt of satisfaction as the device hit the hard tile, coming to rest in silence, a crack in the black plastic.

“Sorry Orlando,” Dom muttered, picking up his TV remote. “Don’t feel like talkin’…”

What he needed was a nice, pathetic late night sappy movie to take his mind of Billy. Off Ali, of the 6-month-old life growing inside her.

He flicked the TV onto Lifetime and waited for the film to start. Dom saw an ad about roofing, about a steam cleaner and about the new Mel Gibson movie. The next ad made his heart ache.

Dom sat up a little straighter in his seat and watched as the images of a father and son flashed across the screen. The son was running through a park, his father giving chase. They were both laughing as they played, and then the son fell into the soft ground, and the father fell down beside him.

The father tickled his son. “Come on Billy, time to make a decision.” Then the ad slogan for a toy store flashed onto the screen, but Dom couldn’t see it through his tears.

Time to make a decision, Billy…time to make a decision…a decision…a decision.

Dom got up off the couch and scrambled over to where the phone lay and picked it up, pressing numbers in frantically. The phone, however, didn’t respond.

“Fuck!” Dom shouted, slamming the broken phone down onto the table, looking around his living room, trying hysterically to think of where he’d last had his mobile.

He raced down the hall to his bedroom and lunged for the unmade bed, pulling at the blankets, looking for his discarded phone. He grabbed a handful of blanket and reefed it, pulling it out from under his knees, sending him falling backwards onto the rug.

He lay there, tears falling down his cheeks, comforter clutched in his hand, staring up at the ceiling, his desperation sliding from his body, thinking of the last time he’d spoken to Billy.

“We had a scan today.”

“Oh.”

Billy sighed. “Dom…I don’t know what to say…”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Dom responded icily, trying to keep his emotions in check.

“Yes I do, Dominic.” Billy sighed again. “I love you so much…this is just all so…hard to deal with.”

“Whatever, Billy,” Dom responded. “You’ve made your choice, I don’t even know why you’re still calling me.”

“But Dom…I haven’t made my choice.”

“What?”

“I’m just so confused, Dom.”

Dom sighed. “Well, you’ve had nearly 5 months to think about it! Are you waiting till the baby’s born or something?”

“You have to understand how hard this it for me. I can’t just tell the mother of my child that I’m gay and leaving her to raise our baby.”

“I can’t understand that, Billy. I’m sorry, but I just can’t! Especially after you told me you weren’t sleeping with her when you first slept with me!”

“I made a mistake. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I’m just so confused right now…”

Dom gripped the phone tightly. “I’ll make it easy for you.” Pause. “You have three months to decide, Billy. Her or me. If you can’t make a decision, I’m gone. You’ll never hear from me again.”

“You can’t do that!” Billy shouted. “You can’t expect me to choose over someone I love and my child!”

“I can, Billy!” Dom shouted back. “I can and I have. You have three months.”

Then he hung up the phone.


Dom groaned in pain as he lay on the floor. How could I have ever done that? He asked himself, slowly picking himself up off the rug. How could I ever make Billy choose between his baby and me?

He stumbled back out into the living room and looked around, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. His mobile sat on the phone table next to his broken answering machine.

He fetched it and punched in Billy’s numbers.

**

“Be home…” Billy muttered to himself as he sat in a small coffee shop in Glasgow, hands wrapped around a steaming cup of tea.

“Hello?”

“Viggo?”

“Billy?”

Billy breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank God you’re home.”

Viggo chuckled. “I’m always home these days, now that Henry is driving. He’s commandeered my car again.”

Billy forced a smile at the thought of Viggo and Henry. Father and son.

“What’s up, my friend?” Viggo asked.

“A lot, actually.”

Viggo bumped something in the background. “Ah, the Ali thing?”

Billy frowned. “How did you know?”

“Orlando told me,” Viggo admitted. “Elijah told him.”

“I told Elijah,” Billy confirmed.

“All a bit much?”

“Just a bit. You know about me and Dom?”

“Yes.”

“I need your advice.”

“I don’t know if I’m the best man for the job.”

Billy took a sip of his tea. “Trust me, you are.”

“Ok then, shoot.”

“I love Dom. With all my heart, mind, body, and soul. He’s the man I never knew I’d end up with, but now that I’ve loved him, that I’ve been with him, I can’t imagine living my life without him.”

“I figured as much. You and Dom have always had a close bond.”

“Yeah, I know. And I was all set to leave Ali, because despite her being a great girl, she’s just not for me. Girls aren’t for me. But then I found out she was pregnant and…God, I seem to be living life inside a martini shaker now.”

“So now the moral dilemma arises. Be with the man you love or stay with the woman you don’t for the sake of your child?”

“Bingo.” Billy paused. “So, what do I do?”

Viggo laughed. “You can’t ask me to make a decision for you that will change your life!”

“Why not?” Billy demanded, sipping his tea.

“Because, this is your thing. There are a lot of factors that are in this. Like, if you decide to be with Dom, you’ll move to LA, yeah? So that means you won’t see your kid. But, if you stay with Ali, you won’t get to see Dom anymore.”

“There’s something else.”

“What?” Viggo demanded.

“Dom said I had until next month to choose between them. After that, he’s cutting ties with me.”

“Shit…” Viggo breathed. “He’s one stubborn bastard, isn’t he?”

“Aye, he is.”

“But you love him.”

Billy sighed. “With all that I possess.”

“Christ, this is so morally challenging. I admire you for living through these past few months.”

“Barely,” Billy amended. “It’s getting too hard to pretend I love Ali and that I’m excited about this baby when my heart is breaking over Dom. But I know that if I left Al now…I’d regret not knowing my child.”

“I wish I could say something profoundly wise, Bill. But I can’t. Even this is too much for me to handle.”

“It’s a bit of a pickle, isn’t it?”

Viggo sighed. “Yes, it is.”

“Just say something then.”

Viggo paused. “Follow your heart. Deep down, in the bottom recesses of your feeling, you’ve made a decision, and subconsciously, you know that you have. You just need to dig deep and find out what that decision is.”

“I hate how you’re always right.”

“Then why did you call?”

Billy chuckled softly. “What you’re saying makes sense. I completely get that. But in either decision, I can’t ask Ali to move to LA and I can’t ask Dom to move to Scotland.”

“Yes, you can,” Viggo countered. “Because love is about sacrifice. From both parties concerned. I sacrificed a lot by taking Henry from my ex-wife. But she sacrificed the right to know her son.”

“I understand.”

“So, if you were to choose Dom and ask him to move to Glasgow, yes, he’d be sacrificing a lot. But so would you. You’d be sacrificing a relationship with the mother of your child. You’d lose the notion of living in the same house as your baby, raising him, seeing his first step, hearing his first word. It goes both ways, Billy.”

“This sucks,” Billy moaned, rubbing his eyes with one hand.

“That it does. But…I hate to say it…it’s kinda your own fault.”

“Oh, gee, thanks Vig!”

“I know you’re not really offended, Bills.”

“Yeah, you’re right, I’m not offended. Truth hurts, that’s all.”

Viggo sighed. “I hope I helped.”

Billy nodded and drained his tea. “You did. A lot, actually.”

“Keep me posted, ok?”

“Sure thing, Vig.”

Billy hung up his mobile and set it down on the table.

He knew exactly what he had to do.

**

“Answer the Goddamn phone!” Dom grunted in frustration as he punched in Billy’s mobile number for the fifth time. So far, it had been engaged.

“Hello?”

“Billy!”

“Is that you, Dom?”

Dom smiled. “Yeah, it’s me.”

“Didn’t expect to hear from you.”

“Do you want me to go?” Dom asked, the smile falling from his lips.

Billy chuckled. “No, you daft bugger! I was just about to call you. I want to talk to you.”

“I want to talk to you too.”

“After our last conversation…” Billy trailed off.

“I need to apologise for that,” Dom cut in. “I was so out of place to say those things it’s not funny.”

“No,” Billy disagreed. “I’ve been whinging about how hard this is on me, without even thinking about how you’d be feeling. I’m sorry, Dom.”

“Don’t apologise,” Dom said softly. “The things I said, the ultimatum…that was really low. Of course this is hard on you.”

“It’s hard on both of us,” Billy said.

Dom swallowed. “How’s Ali? The baby?”

“Dom…you don’t have to ask that. We don’t have to talk about it at all.”

Dom shook his head. “Actually, no. That’s what I called to talk about.”

“Oh?” Billy asked, curious.

“I just need to say some stuff, so let me get it all out, yeah?”

“Sure Dom, whatever you need.”

Dom drew in a deep breath. “I’ve been miserable the past couple of months, I won’t lie about that. I won’t lie and say that your news didn’t shock me, because it did, and still does. I can’t lie and say I accept it, because I can’t, and I probably won’t.”

“Dom I—“

“No Bill. Lemme talk.”

“Ok.”

“I’ll admit I’ve been lying around my house, feeling horribly sorry for myself for ages, wondering why God hated me so much, to give me something so special and so wonderful and then take it away so quickly. It made me think I wasn’t good enough. Not good enough for happiness, for you.”

“Oh Dommie…”

“And I was watching TV last night…well, a few hours ago, thinking about how fucked up everything was. How shitty and pathetic and completely fucking assed this whole situation was. But then I realised it didn’t have to be. I didn’t have to curse God and the Devil, and I didn’t need to sit around crying into my Hagen Daaz.”

“What are you saying?”

Dom sighed. “I saw this commercial. And in it were this guy and this little kid, and they were running around in the park. For some reason, they ended up in the grass, laughing. Almost as if it were a sign, the father turned to his son and said, ‘Ok Billy, it’s time to make a decision.’ And I remember thinking that, ‘holy shit, he’s right’.”

“You lost me.”

“Don’t you see, Bill? I’ve been so busy feeling sorry for myself, and thinking the world’s against me, and I haven’t even bothered to see it from your side. You must be sick with confusion, and me saying all that crap last time we spoke couldn’t have helped.”

“And?”

“So I made a decision.”

Billy clenched his jaw. “Well, are you gonna tell me or do I have to guess?”

“You have to stay with Ali and the baby.”

Billy nearly dropped his mobile. “What?!”

“That commercial made me realise something. The relationship a father and a son share is an unbreakable bond. It’s something to be cherished forever. I can’t be the man that deprives you of that, Billy. I can’t give you children, but you’re going to have this beautiful child, and I couldn’t live my life knowing that I was the reason you weren’t being a father.”

“But…Dom!”

“No, Billy. I’ve thought about this.”

“It was just a commercial!” Billy cried out.

Dom smiled faintly. “I know. And that’s why it seems so bizarre.”

“I can’t believe this…” Billy whispered, his eyes wide.

“What do you mean?”

“I was planning on calling you to tell you I’d chosen you, Dom. That I was coming back to LA to be with you.”

Cross posted to: [livejournal.com profile] jettabug, [livejournal.com profile] monaboyd * [livejournal.com profile] fellow_shippers

[identity profile] lillywhite1.livejournal.com 2004-03-23 06:32 am (UTC)(link)
Ah, gotta love those cliff-hangers. Wonderful, as is the pattern. Keep it up. I want to see a new chapter soon.

[identity profile] yanks02.livejournal.com 2004-03-23 09:46 am (UTC)(link)
Noooooo. You are killing me. You have to be the undisputed King of Cliffhangers!

Another great chapter. *sigh*

[identity profile] yanks02.livejournal.com 2004-03-23 08:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Remember to add undisputed!

[identity profile] starbucksmanic.livejournal.com 2004-03-23 10:04 am (UTC)(link)
This is great. I love it and Viggo is awesome. Good for them for not even considering an abortion! Anyway, lovely story, can't wait for more!

[identity profile] starbucksmanic.livejournal.com 2004-03-24 04:38 am (UTC)(link)
No way. That would be like Sean leaving Christine for Elijah. lol.

[identity profile] slashaholic.livejournal.com 2004-03-23 11:02 am (UTC)(link)
Yes you rule at cliffhangers. Wow Billy's decision kind of surprised me I figured after talking to Viggo that he'd go with Viggo's advice. Which I luv the way in which you wrote Viggo, I luv that conversation. Damn Dom!!!! I hope that they end up working things out still... I want them to be together :(. I'm glad that Billy's been so nice to Ali though, put he still needs to tell her about Dom. I'm sure that Ali and him can work something out. And I'm glad that they are keeping the baby.
~Jewels

[identity profile] sweetalkinwoman.livejournal.com 2004-03-23 02:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Gahhhhhhhhhh. The suspense!!!