Broken

[perfect-oasis.livejournal.com]

Title: Broken
Author: The Phantom Writer silentnumbsmoke
Pairing: BB/DM... sorta.
Pairing: PG-13
Feedback: Love with a Dommie on top?
Disclaimer: This isn't real. Nope, not so much.
Notes: Spark word fic! The spark word was 'broken,' (my title's really original, isn't it? Oh well. I feel that it fits the story.) and I wrote it in 13 minutes.
'Tis angsty! Of course. What else can you expect from a spark word like that?

Anyway... enjoy!





It happened again. He took me and broke me. He’s done it so many times, I wonder why I keep returning to him. It’s stupid, I know, but… It’s all about love. What else can I say about that? I used to think I was in love with him. I used to believe that he loved me as well. But, when anything we do is termed as ‘screwing around’ rather than making love or making out, it seems to me that he doesn’t see it as love.

I wonder if he ever did.

I wonder if it ever was love, even on my account. Did I love him? Had I ever loved him? Yes, I decide firmly. He used to kiss my eyelids to wake me up in the mornings – I loved him then. Waking up to his breath and kisses was the best thing I could ever imagine.

Then, when he began to stray, so did my mind. I stayed at home, waiting for his return, but I had to force myself not to think of where he was and what he was doing… or who he was doing.

He strayed to other men and perhaps a few women. My mind strayed to my best mate. Billy.

That’s when I would look back on all the times Billy and I hung out, all the laughs we shared, and I began to remember times when his hand would graze over my arm. I had felt a tingle run through my body, but I overlooked it, dismissing the feeling as a cold wind or the fact that I was getting the flu. But now I remember. Remember everything that, since I had been in this relationship, my unconscious had forced me to ignore.

Now every touch exchanged between Billy and me is darting through my mind, and I can’t forget it.

And suddenly, I don’t feel like I’m in a relationship. Yes, Elijah may still scowl and pinch the back of my neck if he catches me ‘gazing’ at pictures of Billy and myself, but… he gives me nothing other than a guilty conscience (that I don’t deserve) and dark bruises (which I feel are highly uncalled for).

I jump to my feet and begin to pace, biting my lip as I create a plan in my mind. I’ll rush to the airport, buy the first seat possible on a plane to Glasgow, and go to visit my Billy. Tell him everything. Even if he doesn’t want anything more than a friendship, I know he’ll look past my confession and hold me until the tears are dried. Then, I’ll start over. Start over in a new relationship. With Billy.

As quickly as my mind starts rolling with ideas, it stops abruptly, and I collapse onto the sofa, my knees buckling. As much as I want to, I can’t leave Elijah, with his pinching fingers and his cursing lips. I would have nowhere to go.

Because, as much as I feel the need to escape, I must look at it reasonably.

Why would Billy want me? I’m broken.

Broken things don’t always mend.

Comments

[stellahobbit.livejournal.com]

*meep* There's going to be a lot of sad Dom slash around 'cause of the Oscars I think. Wish I'd seen the bit where Billy pushed him away.

[colourmediscord.livejournal.com]

What what what!?

He pushed him away? When?!

[stellahobbit.livejournal.com]

After reading comments in other LJ's, I heard that, apparently during the red carpet interview with Joan Rivers (which I didn't see due to crap TV coverage in Australia), Billy either pushed Dom away, or interupted him, or left him. There's supposedly a clip showing it but I haven't found a live link yet. If anyone can find it, please let me know.

[normalone.livejournal.com]

When the foursome was being interviewed, Dom reached over and grabbed Billy's chin, and Billy said something to the effect of "get off", or "fuck off" and pushed him away. Here's a cap....

[stellahobbit.livejournal.com]

Thanks heaps Normal One :-) I knew someone out there was organised!

So something did happen then. Wonder if it was just them mucking around? I'm not reading too much into this but Dom did look a bit subdued on the night - especially when the four were on stage with PJ for the last award. Regardless of the slash, I hope they're still friends.

[normalone.livejournal.com]

We will probably never know. I'm sure that award season is tough on everyone though and nerves were probably getting to everyone. Looking at the pics from the after party and the Hidalgo premier pics from yesterday, it seems like everything is ok.

[colourmediscord.livejournal.com]

Yeah, crap coverage in Australia all right. We Aussies have to deal with so much of that. *unimpressed*

I think I've seen what you're talking about. Dom starts fingering Billy's jaw and Billy says (I think) "Get off" and pushes his hand away. I have a clip of it but I don't know where I got it.

I'll try and find out if you want me too.

[stellahobbit.livejournal.com]

That would be great if you got a chance! I'd like to see the body language with my own eyes.

Did you hear PJ say that LOTR's was an ANZAC effort? Yay PJ :-) Where is Oz are you? I'm in Sydney. Are you going to the convention in Canberra?

[colourmediscord.livejournal.com]

*cries big salty tears* No! I'm up in Queensland, and I can't afford to get to the convention! And there was a rumour Dom Monaghan was going to be there and I have a huge crush on him and I was so disappointed wah!

*coughs*

I'll try and find that clip now...

[stellahobbit.livejournal.com]

How cool is it that we're both surfing the smut at the same time...lol. Now don't hate me, but I saved up for weeks to not only go to the convention, but to buy a gold ticket. Why pay the extra $$$ I hear you ask? 'Cause I'm going to get Dom's autograph *squee*

When I come back I'll report on everything I saw, smelt and touched (and hopefully pashed :-)

[colourmediscord.livejournal.com]

*WEEPS MAN, WEEPS!* I MAY NEVER BE HAPPY AGAIN! I AM MISSING OUT ON SQUEEING OVER DOM *IN PERSON*, AN AUTOGRAPH, PHOTO, BREATHING HIS RECYCLED OXYGEN, EVERYTHING!

*sniffs unhappily* I found that link. It is only out of the goodness of my heart that I'm giving it to you, since I am horribly jealous and residing in a very green place of jealousy.

http://madbrilliant.com/vidspam/hobbitsredcarpet.wmv

[stellahobbit.livejournal.com]

OOHHH THANK YOU! Just watched it - Billy definately said "Get off" not fuck off and Dom laughed at him. Billy was grinning and had a look on his face like "Wanker" (but in a nice way). And beautiful Elijah and Sean *sigh* I love watching them all talk over each other.

I'm sorry I made you sad about the convention but I promise I'll make a good representation and tell him that all the LJ girls love him (and his fingers, and his smile, and cheekiness.....) If it's any consolation, I love Dom but would gladly crawl over broken glass to get near the others too.

I wuv you, please don't hate me ;-)

[colourmediscord.livejournal.com]

Woob.

Make sure you touch him for me!

Touch grab scare stalk hee hee hee *evil cackle*

*coughs*

Oh, and reassure him we're saner than we seem. By the end of that convention he'll be a little iffy on that fact.

[stellahobbit.livejournal.com]

I am suffering with sadness - check out my journal for the devestating news :-(

[perfect-oasis.livejournal.com]

Actually, I wrote this several weeks ago, way before the Oscars, so... yesh.
And... I didn't see the thingie when Billy pushed Dommie away, either, but I was directed to a clip. Here, lemme find it for ya'... *rifles through web addresses, then gasps* ...aww, she took it off her livejournal! Hmm... Well, I saved it to my computer. Alas, I have no idea how to put it here, so, if you have AIM, IM me (TheLaurafulOne or IAmTheMightyFrog), and I'll see if I can figure out how to send it to you... or something. ;)