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fellowshippers2004-02-29 06:07 pm
daisuke-yoshiki.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2004-02-29 06:07 pm
Title: It wasn’t supposed to be like this 9/15
Title: It wasn’t supposed to be like this 9/15
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
daisuke_yoshiki
Pairing: V/O
Rating: Overall NC-17
Summary: One tries to remember as the other tries to forget
Disclaimer: I don't know these people. I'm just making this up as I go.
A/N: Special thanks torebirthdream and the rest of Hart2Yu, for without “Taisetsuna” this chapter would not exist.
Feedback: Thank you all for the lovely feedback thus far. More? ^.~
Viggo threw his arm over his eyes. The pounding on his door was doing nothing to alleviate his headache. He’d unplugged his phone after it’d started ringing nonstop yesterday. He didn’t care who it was, he didn’t want to see or talk to anyone.
The pounding on the door ceased and Viggo opened his eyes. He was lying on the floor of his living room. He figured he’d passed out again. He grabbed the bottle of Aspirin that was lying next to him. He opened it quickly, took out two, and downed them with half a can of cheap, crappy beer. He then closed his eyes and waited for the pain to go away.
What a fucking fantastic week this had been. There had been so many ups and downs he felt like a hormonal teenager again. He’d taken blow after blow, but always managed to turn it into a positive thing. Orlando had forgotten him, but that didn’t matter anymore. He had been determined to make the most of that. Things would have been okay.
But when Orlando had told him he didn’t want to see him again and looked at him with such fear in his eyes, Viggo just couldn’t handle that. He’d stayed at the hospital, in shock, for as long as he could. When the nurse had come out and talked to him and Elijah, he just couldn’t take it anymore. He had to get out of there before he lashed out at someone.
Once he’s gotten into his car, he let the tears of frustration, anger, and hurt flow. He didn’t care who saw him. He’d kept them in long enough. When he’d finally calmed down enough to see correctly, he drove home. He’d thrown himself across his bed and fallen into an uneasy sleep. Even in his dreams Orlando’s eyes held that same fear.
In his eyes, Orlando had gotten off easy. At least he had forgotten all those nights in New Zealand when he’d get so lonely he’d cry himself to sleep. He’d forgotten those nights when he’d beg Viggo to stay with him. He’d forgotten how Viggo had refused all his advances. He’d forgotten how he finally had gotten under Viggo’s skin and refused to let him go. He’d forgotten how much he had cried when Viggo told him they shouldn’t take their relationship out of New Zealand.
Viggo sighed. He hadn’t forgotten. He had to live with it all. He remembered all the regrets, the tears, the hardships, and the heartaches. He tried to remember the joyous times, but right now they seemed so insignificant.
Orlando had always been in charge of everything in their relationship. He had initiated the flirting, the caresses, the kissing, everything. It was his idea to break it all off, really. Viggo hadn’t wanted any of it. He wanted his young costar to remain just a fellow actor. When it was time to leave, he didn’t want things to go back the way they were. Viggo had decided he didn’t want things to end like that, so he’d planned how to get Orlando back. Only, Orlando had other plans. Plans that led to him being in the hospital. But Viggo was persistent. Only now, Orlando decided he didn’t want to see Viggo.
Viggo sat up slowly and leaned against the wall. Orlando owned him, but the young man just couldn’t see that. Viggo would do anything for him. If Orlando didn’t want to see him anymore, then that’s what was going to happen. It tore Viggo up inside to be so helpless, but what could he do? He’d tried everything he knew and nothing had worked. He’d even gotten completely wasted, but that just lead to memories of other nights spent inebriated in Orlando’s arms.
Orlando may feel alone, but Viggo thought he felt worse. Everyone was going to flock to Orlando once they were allowed to see him again. Everyone would try their hardest to help him. And Orlando would let them. But he wouldn’t allow Viggo to come near. This would alienate him from the rest of their friends as well.
Viggo had visions of himself sitting in the dark, alone, when he was old and gray. He’d given up on ever having a relationship before Orlando had come along. He’d promised himself that would be the last time. Now, he knew for sure that was true.
He shivered as a coldness swept over him. He could feel a void swallowing his heart. He closed his eyes and cried. Without Orlando, he was all alone, just another cynical old man. He knew no one but Orlando ever bothered to see past that. Now no one would. He entertained the thought that if he never came out of his house, someone may actually miss him. He shook his head. No one would miss him.
He sighed. He couldn’t just sit here forever. He loved Orlando and would not just leave him like that.
He was shaken out of his reverie by his cell phone’s ring. How had he managed not to turn that off? He crawled over to the table on which his cell phone rested. “Hello?”
“Viggo? Thank god, man! We’ve been trying to reach you for days!”
“This had better be good, Lij. I mean it!” Viggo all but growled. The last thing he needed or wanted was to talk to anyone. Why’d he bother answering the phone at all?
“It is, Vig, I promise!” Elijah sounded excited, even for him. “They let him go home, Vig! He’s been home for a day now.” Viggo just grunted. “We tried calling you, man, but after a few hours it said your number was unavailable. What’d you do, unplug it?”
“Yes.”
Viggo could practically hear Elijah blinking at him. “Um. Any particular reason why?”
Viggo refrained from sighing. “Yes.”
Elijah did sigh. “Would you care to fill me in?”
“No.” Viggo pinched the bridge of his nose. “Lij, just do me a favor, okay? Stop calling me. Stop sending people over, okay?”
“What’s gotten into you, Vig? Orlando’s out! He’s home! We’re allowed to see him now!”
“No, Lij, you’re allowed to see him. He wants nothing to do with me, remember? Tell him I said sorry for bothering him and I hope he has a nice life from here on out.”
“Vig, wait!”
Viggo hung up and turned his phone off. He was so disgusted with himself. He’s just lashed out at someone who did not deserve it. This is why he preferred being alone in the first place. No one would get hurt by him, except himself. He looked at the phone in his hand. He swore and threw it across the room. He slumped down on the floor again and cried once more.
Rain poured down all around him, yet he did not get wet. He saw two figures moving towards him. One disappeared. The other crumpled to the ground. Orlando ran closer. He could see the fallen man shaking. Orlando felt his heart breaking when he heard the soft sobs emanating from the man. He knelt down beside the man and knew before he looked who the trembling man was.
Viggo.
As hard as Orlando tried, he could not reach the man. He knew he was caught up in another memory dream. He stood by his friend, helpless. Finally he could bear the tears no more and ran away. He ran as fast and as far as he could. He stopped for breath and leaned against a tree. The rain was still coming down quite hard.
He looked up when he had sufficiently regained composure. Not five feet in front of him was Viggo, in the same heap he’d left him. He was still trembling though no sound could be heard. Orlando looked on and cried.
Why was this affecting him this way? Viggo was the one that hurt him! Viggo is supposed to be this cruel, evil man. He was not supposed to be here, crying in the rain. He turned and ran again only to be faced with the crying form of his friend once more. Orlando fell to the ground next to him and cried.
He woke up, sunlight filtering through his shades. He looked around momentarily confused. That’s right, they’d let him go home. He took the picture he’d gotten at the hospital off the nightstand and looked at it. Viggo seemed so happy and carefree here. He didn’t seem at all scary. Orlando felt his heart constrict. What was this man doing to him? What had they been before he lost his memory?
A soft breeze drifted through the room. Orlando looked at the window, but it was closed. He closed his eyes and let the warm rays of the sun wash over him, dispelling the sadness left over from his dream.
He heard a soft chuckle and opened his eyes. There was no one there. He sighed and settled down again. He could hear laughter. Images of Christmas with his friends came to mind. He was curled up against Viggo’s side. Viggo was laughing at something Bean had said. He then turned and kissed the top of Orlando’s head.
Orlando opened his eyes again, tears streaming down his cheeks. He looked out into the sunny morning. He began to sob in earnest as another memory of the happy times he and Viggo had together surfaced. This time Orlando was sick in bed and Viggo was taking care of him. Orlando told Viggo to just leave him alone. But Viggo would hear nothing of it. He kissed Orlando on the forehead and tucked him under the blankets.
Orlando sobbed and covered his eyes. How could he have ever thought this man had hurt him? He wanted to get dressed and run over to Viggo’s place. However, the man had failed to answer anyone’s calls for the past three days. He’d even failed to answer the door when they’d sent Billy over.
He sighed. He’d hurt Viggo. Because of that stupid dream he’d hurt his best friend. His thoughts drifted back to the premier he’d watched. Maybe they had been more than friends.
He still didn’t know what had happened that landed him in the hospital. He still couldn’t remember everything, or even most things. All he had were a few broken memories of time spent with Viggo and a hope that the feelings which had surfaced while watching that premier were not just his alone. He vowed to find Viggo and make it up to him, somehow.
Days turned into weeks and still there was no sign of Viggo. The Hobbits, as Orlando started calling them when they were together, had kept him busy watching all three Lord of the Rings movies, the extended edition of the first two. They made him watch all the extras. They brought over their personal videos from New Zealand. They took him out to all their favorite clubs. They made sure to keep him busy.
What Orlando found rather annoying is that they made it a point never to leave him alone. He asked Dom about it one night and he just shrugged it off. “We just miss you, is all.”
So why doesn’t Orlando believe him?
Today, Orlando was going to do something about Viggo. He got up, eat, showered, and dressed quickly. He slipped past the couch, hoping he didn’t wake the sleeping form of Dom. He threw on a jacket, grabbed his car keys, and hurried to his car. He pulled the car out of the driveway and headed down the street.
At the first stop sign he just sat there. He had no idea how to get to Viggo’s house. Maybe if he just drove around some, it would come back to him. Anything was better than sitting at home doing nothing. He decide to turn right and see where that led him.
TBC
Author:
daisuke_yoshikiPairing: V/O
Rating: Overall NC-17
Summary: One tries to remember as the other tries to forget
Disclaimer: I don't know these people. I'm just making this up as I go.
A/N: Special thanks to
rebirthdream and the rest of Hart2Yu, for without “Taisetsuna” this chapter would not exist. Feedback: Thank you all for the lovely feedback thus far. More? ^.~
Viggo threw his arm over his eyes. The pounding on his door was doing nothing to alleviate his headache. He’d unplugged his phone after it’d started ringing nonstop yesterday. He didn’t care who it was, he didn’t want to see or talk to anyone.
The pounding on the door ceased and Viggo opened his eyes. He was lying on the floor of his living room. He figured he’d passed out again. He grabbed the bottle of Aspirin that was lying next to him. He opened it quickly, took out two, and downed them with half a can of cheap, crappy beer. He then closed his eyes and waited for the pain to go away.
What a fucking fantastic week this had been. There had been so many ups and downs he felt like a hormonal teenager again. He’d taken blow after blow, but always managed to turn it into a positive thing. Orlando had forgotten him, but that didn’t matter anymore. He had been determined to make the most of that. Things would have been okay.
But when Orlando had told him he didn’t want to see him again and looked at him with such fear in his eyes, Viggo just couldn’t handle that. He’d stayed at the hospital, in shock, for as long as he could. When the nurse had come out and talked to him and Elijah, he just couldn’t take it anymore. He had to get out of there before he lashed out at someone.
Once he’s gotten into his car, he let the tears of frustration, anger, and hurt flow. He didn’t care who saw him. He’d kept them in long enough. When he’d finally calmed down enough to see correctly, he drove home. He’d thrown himself across his bed and fallen into an uneasy sleep. Even in his dreams Orlando’s eyes held that same fear.
In his eyes, Orlando had gotten off easy. At least he had forgotten all those nights in New Zealand when he’d get so lonely he’d cry himself to sleep. He’d forgotten those nights when he’d beg Viggo to stay with him. He’d forgotten how Viggo had refused all his advances. He’d forgotten how he finally had gotten under Viggo’s skin and refused to let him go. He’d forgotten how much he had cried when Viggo told him they shouldn’t take their relationship out of New Zealand.
Viggo sighed. He hadn’t forgotten. He had to live with it all. He remembered all the regrets, the tears, the hardships, and the heartaches. He tried to remember the joyous times, but right now they seemed so insignificant.
Orlando had always been in charge of everything in their relationship. He had initiated the flirting, the caresses, the kissing, everything. It was his idea to break it all off, really. Viggo hadn’t wanted any of it. He wanted his young costar to remain just a fellow actor. When it was time to leave, he didn’t want things to go back the way they were. Viggo had decided he didn’t want things to end like that, so he’d planned how to get Orlando back. Only, Orlando had other plans. Plans that led to him being in the hospital. But Viggo was persistent. Only now, Orlando decided he didn’t want to see Viggo.
Viggo sat up slowly and leaned against the wall. Orlando owned him, but the young man just couldn’t see that. Viggo would do anything for him. If Orlando didn’t want to see him anymore, then that’s what was going to happen. It tore Viggo up inside to be so helpless, but what could he do? He’d tried everything he knew and nothing had worked. He’d even gotten completely wasted, but that just lead to memories of other nights spent inebriated in Orlando’s arms.
Orlando may feel alone, but Viggo thought he felt worse. Everyone was going to flock to Orlando once they were allowed to see him again. Everyone would try their hardest to help him. And Orlando would let them. But he wouldn’t allow Viggo to come near. This would alienate him from the rest of their friends as well.
Viggo had visions of himself sitting in the dark, alone, when he was old and gray. He’d given up on ever having a relationship before Orlando had come along. He’d promised himself that would be the last time. Now, he knew for sure that was true.
He shivered as a coldness swept over him. He could feel a void swallowing his heart. He closed his eyes and cried. Without Orlando, he was all alone, just another cynical old man. He knew no one but Orlando ever bothered to see past that. Now no one would. He entertained the thought that if he never came out of his house, someone may actually miss him. He shook his head. No one would miss him.
He sighed. He couldn’t just sit here forever. He loved Orlando and would not just leave him like that.
He was shaken out of his reverie by his cell phone’s ring. How had he managed not to turn that off? He crawled over to the table on which his cell phone rested. “Hello?”
“Viggo? Thank god, man! We’ve been trying to reach you for days!”
“This had better be good, Lij. I mean it!” Viggo all but growled. The last thing he needed or wanted was to talk to anyone. Why’d he bother answering the phone at all?
“It is, Vig, I promise!” Elijah sounded excited, even for him. “They let him go home, Vig! He’s been home for a day now.” Viggo just grunted. “We tried calling you, man, but after a few hours it said your number was unavailable. What’d you do, unplug it?”
“Yes.”
Viggo could practically hear Elijah blinking at him. “Um. Any particular reason why?”
Viggo refrained from sighing. “Yes.”
Elijah did sigh. “Would you care to fill me in?”
“No.” Viggo pinched the bridge of his nose. “Lij, just do me a favor, okay? Stop calling me. Stop sending people over, okay?”
“What’s gotten into you, Vig? Orlando’s out! He’s home! We’re allowed to see him now!”
“No, Lij, you’re allowed to see him. He wants nothing to do with me, remember? Tell him I said sorry for bothering him and I hope he has a nice life from here on out.”
“Vig, wait!”
Viggo hung up and turned his phone off. He was so disgusted with himself. He’s just lashed out at someone who did not deserve it. This is why he preferred being alone in the first place. No one would get hurt by him, except himself. He looked at the phone in his hand. He swore and threw it across the room. He slumped down on the floor again and cried once more.
Rain poured down all around him, yet he did not get wet. He saw two figures moving towards him. One disappeared. The other crumpled to the ground. Orlando ran closer. He could see the fallen man shaking. Orlando felt his heart breaking when he heard the soft sobs emanating from the man. He knelt down beside the man and knew before he looked who the trembling man was.
Viggo.
As hard as Orlando tried, he could not reach the man. He knew he was caught up in another memory dream. He stood by his friend, helpless. Finally he could bear the tears no more and ran away. He ran as fast and as far as he could. He stopped for breath and leaned against a tree. The rain was still coming down quite hard.
He looked up when he had sufficiently regained composure. Not five feet in front of him was Viggo, in the same heap he’d left him. He was still trembling though no sound could be heard. Orlando looked on and cried.
Why was this affecting him this way? Viggo was the one that hurt him! Viggo is supposed to be this cruel, evil man. He was not supposed to be here, crying in the rain. He turned and ran again only to be faced with the crying form of his friend once more. Orlando fell to the ground next to him and cried.
He woke up, sunlight filtering through his shades. He looked around momentarily confused. That’s right, they’d let him go home. He took the picture he’d gotten at the hospital off the nightstand and looked at it. Viggo seemed so happy and carefree here. He didn’t seem at all scary. Orlando felt his heart constrict. What was this man doing to him? What had they been before he lost his memory?
A soft breeze drifted through the room. Orlando looked at the window, but it was closed. He closed his eyes and let the warm rays of the sun wash over him, dispelling the sadness left over from his dream.
He heard a soft chuckle and opened his eyes. There was no one there. He sighed and settled down again. He could hear laughter. Images of Christmas with his friends came to mind. He was curled up against Viggo’s side. Viggo was laughing at something Bean had said. He then turned and kissed the top of Orlando’s head.
Orlando opened his eyes again, tears streaming down his cheeks. He looked out into the sunny morning. He began to sob in earnest as another memory of the happy times he and Viggo had together surfaced. This time Orlando was sick in bed and Viggo was taking care of him. Orlando told Viggo to just leave him alone. But Viggo would hear nothing of it. He kissed Orlando on the forehead and tucked him under the blankets.
Orlando sobbed and covered his eyes. How could he have ever thought this man had hurt him? He wanted to get dressed and run over to Viggo’s place. However, the man had failed to answer anyone’s calls for the past three days. He’d even failed to answer the door when they’d sent Billy over.
He sighed. He’d hurt Viggo. Because of that stupid dream he’d hurt his best friend. His thoughts drifted back to the premier he’d watched. Maybe they had been more than friends.
He still didn’t know what had happened that landed him in the hospital. He still couldn’t remember everything, or even most things. All he had were a few broken memories of time spent with Viggo and a hope that the feelings which had surfaced while watching that premier were not just his alone. He vowed to find Viggo and make it up to him, somehow.
Days turned into weeks and still there was no sign of Viggo. The Hobbits, as Orlando started calling them when they were together, had kept him busy watching all three Lord of the Rings movies, the extended edition of the first two. They made him watch all the extras. They brought over their personal videos from New Zealand. They took him out to all their favorite clubs. They made sure to keep him busy.
What Orlando found rather annoying is that they made it a point never to leave him alone. He asked Dom about it one night and he just shrugged it off. “We just miss you, is all.”
So why doesn’t Orlando believe him?
Today, Orlando was going to do something about Viggo. He got up, eat, showered, and dressed quickly. He slipped past the couch, hoping he didn’t wake the sleeping form of Dom. He threw on a jacket, grabbed his car keys, and hurried to his car. He pulled the car out of the driveway and headed down the street.
At the first stop sign he just sat there. He had no idea how to get to Viggo’s house. Maybe if he just drove around some, it would come back to him. Anything was better than sitting at home doing nothing. He decide to turn right and see where that led him.
TBC
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no subject
Anyway, great narrative drive in these pieces! Every time things seem settled, you pull out some new twist. Great!
no subject
I love Orlando's dream. The feeling you get when you run and run, and just don't get any further away. And poor Viggo! Give him Orlando and a big pile of
lubeandcondomspresents.