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fellowshippers2004-02-04 08:53 pm
mctaggart-pegg.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2004-02-04 08:53 pm
!Dialect Fic4
Title: Anyone Have a Scottish-English Dictionary? Part Quatre
Author: Pippin (McTaggart_Pegg@hotmail.com)
Pairing: implied BB/DM (if you choose to read it that way--or not, for now it's still your call)
Rating: PG-13 for language, I guess? Will take suggestions on this one.
Warning: !Superdialect! Dialect thicker than 3-day old porridge. If you don't like dialect, GO AWAY. Please do not complain to me that I'm writing Billy with a thick accent--that is the point, and I will laugh at you. This is supposed to be fun.
Disclaimer: Don't know 'em, never met 'em, this is all lies. (*sigh*)
Summary: Billy and Dom talk. Dom gets angsty. Poor Elijah feels abused.
Feedback: Yes please. Pretty please. I've discovered I'm a feedback junkie.
Scottish-English Dictionary
Part Deux
Part Trois
For those who wanted to know why Dom went on a bender. And yes, *sigh* sadly enough there will be a Part Cinq.
(OMG, this is turning into the neverending fic. I blame all of you.) Btw, this is still un-beta'd--sorry about that.
By early afternoon, Billy had recovered somewhat, Dom had caught up on some sleep, and Elijah had been threatened with Grievous Bodily Harm if he didn't get a new answering machine.
He flipped them off. They sat around the kitchen table, its glass top reflecting their faces as they talked and drank coffee. He announced, "I'm planning on spending the afternoon naked on the couch with my Playstation. You can join me, or not--your call." Assumed that would drive them out.
"Is that what you're calling it these days?" Dom asked, straight-faced. "Your 'playstation'?"
Billy tried not to snicker. Failed miserably.
Elijah put his fists on his thighs, elbows jutting out. Fixed Dom with what he liked to think of as his steely glare. "You two need to sort yourselves out. So get the hell out of my apartment and do it. If I go out, I'll never know when it's safe to come home."
Dom opened his mouth, and Billy quickly stepped in. "Aye, we'll get oot, 'Lij. Ah noo it's yer furst free day in a while. Ah've goat a few things Ah need tae pick oop, anyweh."
Dom rolled his eyes. "Bill-ly. I was going to tell him we'd stay here and get naked too."
"Ah noo ye were."
"Spoilsport."
Billy stuck his tongue out at him.
"By the way, Bill," Elijah said, suppressing a grin, "Quit leaving presents under my pillow."
Dom raised his eyebrow.
Billy just looked blank.
"From my desk drawer? The magazine?"
Dom slapped a hand to his forehead. "'Hide th' poorn'! Of course!"
Billy looked from one to the other. "Hide th'…" Comprehension dawned. "Oh. Reet. Eh--soorry." He shrugged apologetically. "It seemed funneh at th' time."
Elijah giggled. "And they call me a dork."
"You are," Billy and Dom agreed in near-perfect unison. They elbowed each other, snickering.
A long-suffering Elijah just rolled his eyes, knowing he'd walked right into that one.
"An' anyweh, 'Lij," Billy continued as if it were a logical conversational progression, "Ye're th' one who keeps buyin' shite ye doan need."
"Like what?" Automatically defensive, as it wasn't the first time he'd been accused of that.
"Like anoother bloodeh phone!"
It was Elijah's turn to look blank. "I didn't buy another phone."
"Ye ded too. Ye seid so."
"No, I didn't."
"You sure you weren't hallucinating, Bill?" Dom asked in a kindly tone that said, because after all, you were one bourbon away from vegetable.
"Aye, Ah'm sure, ye patronizin' bugger." He gave Dom a quick smack upside the back of his head. Dom grinned. "Ye seid 'Ah've goat good noose--Ah goat a phone'! An' then yer machine went all Linda Blair."
"No, what I said was 'I just got a phone call'. I was calling to tell you Dom had arrived."
A pause. "Oh."
"Not that it would have done any good anyway," Dom pointed out. "By the time I called Elwood, I had already given up on you."
"Ah seid Ah wiz soorry," Billy sounded aggrieved.
"And have you apologized to 'Lij for puking all over his bathroom?" Dom continued relentlessly.
"Ah niver!" he denied hotly. "Ah've goat better aim than tha'. Ah hit the toilet every time!"
Elijah shook his head, grinning. "Would you two take your show on the road, please? As charming a conversation as it is."
Dom stood. "Yeah, come on, Bills." He raised his nose in the air, head turned to the side. "If Elijah Wood doesn't want us in his precious apartment anymore…"
"Oh, for God's sake." Elijah dropped his forehead onto the cold table top. Added, "And please don't say precious again. Ever."
"Ah thought ye woanted tae stay an' get nekkid, Dom?" Billy asked, lips twitching.
"You know me, I always want to get naked, Billy. But I get the distinct impression it wouldn't be appreciated at this particular moment in time."
"No, it wouldn't," Elijah averred, nose still squashed against the glass.
Dom sat down again. "You know, it strikes me that--"
Elijah lifted his head off the table, threw it back. Pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. "Oh my God! You're like cockroaches! No matter what I do, I can't get rid of you! I step on you, I throw things at you, I put poison out, I spray you with nerve gas, I set off a nuclear fucking bomb and you just keep coming back!"
"Ah think he's goan mad, Dom," Billy observed in a stage whisper.
"I think so too. Perhaps we'd better leave him to crack up in solitude. Let him keep what little dignity he has left."
They got up from the table. Each patted Elijah's shoulder solicitously as they passed. Billy murmured, "There, there, lad." A quiet chuckle was the only response.
After pulling on coats and shoes in the hallway, Dom yelled, "Bye Elwood! Don't do anything drastic!"
"Get the fuck out!" Then, "If you guys need anything, call, huh?"
"We will," Billy promised.
Just as they opened the door, Dom bellowed, "Have fun with your 'playstation', Elwood." He quickly slammed it closed.
Even through it, they could still hear Elijah.
"Asshole!"
They slid into the booth at the restaurant. Billy put his boxed purchase beside him, threw his coat on top. "Ye sure we're goin' tae be able tae talk heer, Dom?"
"Yeah, it'll be good. Besides, it's January, it's not like we can go for a leisurely stroll in the park."
"All reet."
The young waiter arrived, took their drinks order (coffee and tea), and promised to be right back. They studied their menus with bent heads.
Without looking up, Dom asked, "Where are we going to start?"
"Ye woan tae share a spinach dip?"
"No, I meant--"
"Soorry, Ah noo. Bad joke. We'll start with ye."
"Why me?"
"'Cos ye goat plasterred first."
"So? You got plastered last."
"Aye. Which is why Ah'll go last."
Dom thought for a moment. "Damn. That made sense in my head."
"Noo, it didnae."
The waiter came back with their hot drinks, and asked if they were ready to order. Billy raised an eyebrow at Dom, who nodded.
"Ah'll hae th' coontry veg soop. An' a salahd. Ranch drehssin' oan th' side."
"I'm sorry?" The kid looked bewildered, and Billy had to resist the temptation to roll his eyes.
Smiling widely, Dom translated for the accent-challenged waiter. Added his own order for eggplant moussaka.
After he left, Billy muttered something unintelligible as he passed Dom his coffee, took his tea from across the table.
"Oh, come on, Bill. When you talk that fast, even I have trouble understanding you sometimes."
"It wasnae that fast."
"Was too. Just soup and salad? Your stomach still bothering you?"
"Noo, no really. Just doan want tae push it. Soo start talkin'."
"Where?"
"Wha' started th' three-day bender."
Dom was silent for a moment, staring at his coffee as he stirred sugar into it. "The play ended early."
"Ah figured," Billy said quietly.
"Three weeks early."
"Ach, shite. Ah'm soorry, Dom."
"It sucked, Billy."
Billy said nothing. Just watched.
"I mean, it was really bad. Atrocious."
Billy stayed silent.
Dom's voice grew edgy. "Aren't you going to say anything?"
"Ah ded. Ah seid Ah'm soorry. An' Ah really am."
"That's not what you really want to say though, is it?"
"Dom…"
"Why don't you go ahead? Say it. Say 'I told you so'."
"Ah doan want tae."
"Well you did. You told me so. You told me it was going to be a stinker, and you were right," he said bitterly.
"Ah wish Ah wasnae."
"Why did you let me do it? Why--"
"Let you?" Billy interrupted incredulously. "How th' hell wiz Ah s'posed tae stoap ye? Ye told meh tae fuck aff, mind meh oan business, an' quit tryin' tae be yer fuckin' agent, remember? Ah told ye Ah didnae think it wiz a guid idea. Th' choice wiz yours."
"Shit," Dom muttered. "I know, I didn't mean it like that. But couldn't you have…tried harder? To make me listen? I've fucked up, Bill."
"Noo, ye haven't."
"Yes, I have. I should never have gone anywhere near that play. What made me think it was a good idea? I mean, even the script was crap, let alone what we did to it. I tried to--but there was no…"
"Dom, Ah'm sure it wasnae--"
"Did you see any of the reviews?" he asked in a low voice.
Billy hesitated.
"You did, didn't you?"
"Aye. Ah found two. They wheer…fair harsh."
"Most of them would have called us shit if they could print it. How the hell am I supposed to get another job now? If I couldn't before, there's no way anyone…" He trailed off, dropped his head in his hands, long fingers in his hair.
"Dom, neither o' th' reviews Ah reid mentioned ye at all."
"Yeah, keep going Bill, 'cause that's really helping. Do you have any idea how hard this was for me to tell you?"
"It's guid, ye gobshite. Furst, it means yer name isnae bound oop with th' production. Give it a moonth, noboady will remember ye were in it."
"You think?" Dom asked, a sudden spark of hope in his voice.
"Ah do. Dom, we've all goat shite we leave off th' CV. An' sehcond--they didnae mention ye 'cos theer wiz nothin' tae criticize. Tha' means the show may hae been shite, but ye were guid. An' at this point, tha's all tha' shoould matter tae ye."
"But what if I wasn't, Bill?" Dom asked, agonized. Remembered where he was, and lowered his voice. "What if I wasn't good, what if I was just…unmemorable? What if Rings was it? The one big shot, and for ever after I'll just be the 'guy that played that hobbit'? We've joked about it, but it's starting to feel that way. I mean, what have I done since? Two indie films that a grand total of twelve people have seen, and a shit play."
Billy let him rattle on. Knew he needed to get it out of his system, he'd been carrying it too long.
"Everyone else has had at least one good, big project--hell, look at you and Orli. Yours will both go up for fucking Oscars. And a lot of people are saying you should be nominated for King. You should, you know."
Billy snorted, but Dom kept going.
"Everyone has something to work on, something to work towards, and I'm just…drifting. I've been labeled a party animal. What the hell else am I supposed to do, Bill? If I had work, something to get up in the morning for, I'd be the most responsible actor you've ever seen."
Billy couldn't help but grin at him, crossing his arms and leaning back. "'Responsible'? Ye sure tha's the word ye're lookin' for?"
Dom had the grace to blush. "Well…maybe not 'responsible'. Dedicated?"
"Aye. Ye are tha'," Billy agreed.
"I just feel--I feel like shit, actually. I feel like it's over, and I didn't even know it was ending until it was too late."
"An' tha's when ye started drinkin'?"
"Yeah. Went to a club with a mate, and got pissed. Stayed pissed because it felt better. Stayed pissed because I was there and you were here. Stayed pissed because I didn't have the guts to call you and tell you the show was bollocks and let you say 'I told you so'. Stayed pissed because I realized what a fucker I'd been when I left you last time."
"Dom--"
"I'm sorry about that, Billy. I was an arsehole, and I'm really sorry."
"Ah noo ye are. Ah am too. Ah didnae help matters any."
Their food arrived at that point, temporarily halting the conversation as the waiter insisted on salting, peppering, and cheese-ing everything in sight. Billy surreptitiously put his hand over his soup bowl as the cheese grater was waved around. Dom couldn't help it--had to cough to avoid actually laughing. Felt an incredible relief, and a rather overwhelming sense of gratitude toward Billy. He was so good at that--at secret little jokes that kept Dom from dropping too far down. Why the hell had he stayed away, again? He should have come running back the second that God-forsaken play had closed. Wanted Billy to know. Fucking waiter, hovering like that. He tried to nudge Billy with his knee, and ended up kicking him in the shin.
Billy jumped, let out an odd grunt. The waiter eyed him sideways, then after grating another pile of cheese onto Dom's moussaka, left.
Dom tried to hold his mirth in, his shoulders shaking, as he scraped some of the cheese off.
Billy muttered, "Thanks verra much. Now he thinks Ah'm off mah heid."
"Oh God, that was priceless! I didn't mean to do it, but that was too funny." He wiped the corners of his eyes, still chuckling.
Billy smiled. "Ah really cannae take ye oot in public, can Ah?"
"Apparently not." Dom grinned. "Thanks, Bills."
"Fer wha'?"
"Oh, just…you know. And I'm sorry I didn't come back earlier. I should have. I should have come back right after the play ended and apologized. I should have come back, ranted and raved, and let that be the end of it, not sulked in London."
"Aye, ye shoould have. An' Ah shoould have called ye. Ah'm soorry Ah didnae."
"I was kind of surprised," Dom admitted. "Usually you don't let me pull that shit. Why didn't you call?"
"Ah doan think so, laddie. We're no done wi' ye, yet."
"Why, what's left? The bender's no longer a grand mystery."
"Why wiz this soo hard tae tell meh?"
Dom flushed. "I was hoping you hadn't noticed that."
"Ah nooticed."
"Of course you did," he sighed.
"Soo?"
"Because…it's you. I'm embarrassed as hell to have to tell you I failed." He looked down, rubbed the bridge of his nose with his forefinger, hiding behind his hand. "I got so fucking mad when you told me not to do it. I'm jealous, Bill. Jealous of all of you, but you especially. I wanted to prove I'm as good as you are. I wanted you to be proud of me. And I fucked it up royally."
"Ach, Dom. Ye're sich a daft numptie," Billy said fondly.
Dom snorted. "Assuming that means I'm a gormless mardarse, tell me something I don't know."
"All reet, Ah well. Ye're just as guid as th' rest of oos, Dominic. In a lot o' ways, yer better. It's one o' th' reasons Ah loove ye--ye push meh tae be better than Ah am."
Dom opened his mouth to say something, but Billy held his fork up warningly.
"Ded Ah say Ah wiz finished? No, Ah didnae. So shut it. Ah am proud o' ye, no matter wha'. Doan ye ever forget tha'. But yer impulsive. Well ye let meh give ye soom advice? Withoot ye gettin' th' pish oop?"
"I'm hardly in a position to say no, am I?"
"Ye ded las' time."
"Which is why I'm in no position to now. Go ahead."
"When they offered ye tha' play, ded ye do any resairch oan it? Oan the director?"
"No," Dom confessed, looking at his plate.
"Ah noo ye jus' wanted tae work, Dom," he said gently. "Believe meh, Ah've been theer. So let an older, wiser--"
"--Balder, wrinklier, flabbier--"
"Ye gobshite. May Ah finish?"
"Please," Dom inclined his head politely. "Age before beauty."
"Wanker. Ah doan noo why Ah bohther."
"Because you love me."
"Oh. Reet. Ah forgoat. An' 'flabbier'? Ah doan think soo. Ah'm in better shape than ye are."
"Whatever, old man. Go on. I need your help. What kind of research should I be doing?"
An hour later they had finished eating and paid their check. Billy started to put his coat on.
"Hold up, there, mate," Dom objected. "You haven't done any talking yet. We aren't even close to finished."
"Noo, but Ah need tae get oot o' heer. Tha' waiter keeps starin' at meh, he's creepin' meh oot."
Dom chuckled. "Maybe he likes you."
"Oor he's debatin' callin' th' polis, thanks tae ye."
"Where are we going to go?"
"Let's jus' find a café." He got up and left, taking his package, leaving Dom no choice but to follow.
Dom's little inner devil suddenly whispered in his ear. "Billy," Dom called just as the other man was passing the waiter and nodding a thank you. "Billy, it's all right. I've got your medication right here--no one's going to hurt you!"
Billy froze in mid-stride.
So did the waiter.
Without looking back, Billy resumed walking, his pace slightly faster, his shoulders twitching. His voice shook as he muttered, "Deid. Ye are so bloodeh deid." Didn't care how much his threats were frightening the waiter.
When he finally reached the sidewalk outside, he leaned against the building and laughed until tears came to the corners of his eyes. Dom came stumbling out, already in the same state, and collapsed against Billy.
"Oh God, did you see his face?" he gasped. "You should have seen how fast he backed away when I walked by."
"Ye are one evil bastirt, ye noo tha'?" Billy giggled.
"I hope you didn't like that restaurant too much."
"Luckily, noo."
"Serves you right for abandoning me yesterday anyway." Dom was starting to get his breath back. Still leaned against Billy for support.
Billy straightened, a funny look on his face. Suddenly laughed. Tucked the electronics box under his arm. Said firmly, "Reet. Ah noo where we're goin'."
"Where?"
"Ye'll see. C'moan." He stepped to the curb, refusing to say more. Kept scanning the traffic for a free cab.
"Billy, tell me where we're going. Please? Oh, come on, just tell me. Where are we going, huh? Pleeeease?" Dom knew Billy had a low tolerance for whining, used and abused it whenever he could.
Billy ignored him. Spotted a cab and waved it over. He got in, slamming the door behind him, forcing Dom to go around to the far side. Took that time to tell the cabbie their destination.
Dom climbed in. "Thanks, you wanker."
"Noo prooblem," Billy replied airily.
"Where are we going?"
"Persistent bugger, aren't ye?"
"This surprises you?" Dom raised an eyebrow.
"Ye constantly surprise meh, Dominic."
"Oh--well….Good. I think."
They were silent for a bit. Until Dom started to get suspicious about what he was seeing out the window.
"Billy--we're not going where I think we're going, are we?"
"Noo. Def'nitely no."
"We are, aren't we?"
"Aye."
Dom grinned. "Sometimes you really are as big a dork as Elijah."
Author: Pippin (McTaggart_Pegg@hotmail.com)
Pairing: implied BB/DM (if you choose to read it that way--or not, for now it's still your call)
Rating: PG-13 for language, I guess? Will take suggestions on this one.
Warning: !Superdialect! Dialect thicker than 3-day old porridge. If you don't like dialect, GO AWAY. Please do not complain to me that I'm writing Billy with a thick accent--that is the point, and I will laugh at you. This is supposed to be fun.
Disclaimer: Don't know 'em, never met 'em, this is all lies. (*sigh*)
Summary: Billy and Dom talk. Dom gets angsty. Poor Elijah feels abused.
Feedback: Yes please. Pretty please. I've discovered I'm a feedback junkie.
Scottish-English Dictionary
Part Deux
Part Trois
For those who wanted to know why Dom went on a bender. And yes, *sigh* sadly enough there will be a Part Cinq.
(OMG, this is turning into the neverending fic. I blame all of you.) Btw, this is still un-beta'd--sorry about that.
By early afternoon, Billy had recovered somewhat, Dom had caught up on some sleep, and Elijah had been threatened with Grievous Bodily Harm if he didn't get a new answering machine.
He flipped them off. They sat around the kitchen table, its glass top reflecting their faces as they talked and drank coffee. He announced, "I'm planning on spending the afternoon naked on the couch with my Playstation. You can join me, or not--your call." Assumed that would drive them out.
"Is that what you're calling it these days?" Dom asked, straight-faced. "Your 'playstation'?"
Billy tried not to snicker. Failed miserably.
Elijah put his fists on his thighs, elbows jutting out. Fixed Dom with what he liked to think of as his steely glare. "You two need to sort yourselves out. So get the hell out of my apartment and do it. If I go out, I'll never know when it's safe to come home."
Dom opened his mouth, and Billy quickly stepped in. "Aye, we'll get oot, 'Lij. Ah noo it's yer furst free day in a while. Ah've goat a few things Ah need tae pick oop, anyweh."
Dom rolled his eyes. "Bill-ly. I was going to tell him we'd stay here and get naked too."
"Ah noo ye were."
"Spoilsport."
Billy stuck his tongue out at him.
"By the way, Bill," Elijah said, suppressing a grin, "Quit leaving presents under my pillow."
Dom raised his eyebrow.
Billy just looked blank.
"From my desk drawer? The magazine?"
Dom slapped a hand to his forehead. "'Hide th' poorn'! Of course!"
Billy looked from one to the other. "Hide th'…" Comprehension dawned. "Oh. Reet. Eh--soorry." He shrugged apologetically. "It seemed funneh at th' time."
Elijah giggled. "And they call me a dork."
"You are," Billy and Dom agreed in near-perfect unison. They elbowed each other, snickering.
A long-suffering Elijah just rolled his eyes, knowing he'd walked right into that one.
"An' anyweh, 'Lij," Billy continued as if it were a logical conversational progression, "Ye're th' one who keeps buyin' shite ye doan need."
"Like what?" Automatically defensive, as it wasn't the first time he'd been accused of that.
"Like anoother bloodeh phone!"
It was Elijah's turn to look blank. "I didn't buy another phone."
"Ye ded too. Ye seid so."
"No, I didn't."
"You sure you weren't hallucinating, Bill?" Dom asked in a kindly tone that said, because after all, you were one bourbon away from vegetable.
"Aye, Ah'm sure, ye patronizin' bugger." He gave Dom a quick smack upside the back of his head. Dom grinned. "Ye seid 'Ah've goat good noose--Ah goat a phone'! An' then yer machine went all Linda Blair."
"No, what I said was 'I just got a phone call'. I was calling to tell you Dom had arrived."
A pause. "Oh."
"Not that it would have done any good anyway," Dom pointed out. "By the time I called Elwood, I had already given up on you."
"Ah seid Ah wiz soorry," Billy sounded aggrieved.
"And have you apologized to 'Lij for puking all over his bathroom?" Dom continued relentlessly.
"Ah niver!" he denied hotly. "Ah've goat better aim than tha'. Ah hit the toilet every time!"
Elijah shook his head, grinning. "Would you two take your show on the road, please? As charming a conversation as it is."
Dom stood. "Yeah, come on, Bills." He raised his nose in the air, head turned to the side. "If Elijah Wood doesn't want us in his precious apartment anymore…"
"Oh, for God's sake." Elijah dropped his forehead onto the cold table top. Added, "And please don't say precious again. Ever."
"Ah thought ye woanted tae stay an' get nekkid, Dom?" Billy asked, lips twitching.
"You know me, I always want to get naked, Billy. But I get the distinct impression it wouldn't be appreciated at this particular moment in time."
"No, it wouldn't," Elijah averred, nose still squashed against the glass.
Dom sat down again. "You know, it strikes me that--"
Elijah lifted his head off the table, threw it back. Pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. "Oh my God! You're like cockroaches! No matter what I do, I can't get rid of you! I step on you, I throw things at you, I put poison out, I spray you with nerve gas, I set off a nuclear fucking bomb and you just keep coming back!"
"Ah think he's goan mad, Dom," Billy observed in a stage whisper.
"I think so too. Perhaps we'd better leave him to crack up in solitude. Let him keep what little dignity he has left."
They got up from the table. Each patted Elijah's shoulder solicitously as they passed. Billy murmured, "There, there, lad." A quiet chuckle was the only response.
After pulling on coats and shoes in the hallway, Dom yelled, "Bye Elwood! Don't do anything drastic!"
"Get the fuck out!" Then, "If you guys need anything, call, huh?"
"We will," Billy promised.
Just as they opened the door, Dom bellowed, "Have fun with your 'playstation', Elwood." He quickly slammed it closed.
Even through it, they could still hear Elijah.
"Asshole!"
They slid into the booth at the restaurant. Billy put his boxed purchase beside him, threw his coat on top. "Ye sure we're goin' tae be able tae talk heer, Dom?"
"Yeah, it'll be good. Besides, it's January, it's not like we can go for a leisurely stroll in the park."
"All reet."
The young waiter arrived, took their drinks order (coffee and tea), and promised to be right back. They studied their menus with bent heads.
Without looking up, Dom asked, "Where are we going to start?"
"Ye woan tae share a spinach dip?"
"No, I meant--"
"Soorry, Ah noo. Bad joke. We'll start with ye."
"Why me?"
"'Cos ye goat plasterred first."
"So? You got plastered last."
"Aye. Which is why Ah'll go last."
Dom thought for a moment. "Damn. That made sense in my head."
"Noo, it didnae."
The waiter came back with their hot drinks, and asked if they were ready to order. Billy raised an eyebrow at Dom, who nodded.
"Ah'll hae th' coontry veg soop. An' a salahd. Ranch drehssin' oan th' side."
"I'm sorry?" The kid looked bewildered, and Billy had to resist the temptation to roll his eyes.
Smiling widely, Dom translated for the accent-challenged waiter. Added his own order for eggplant moussaka.
After he left, Billy muttered something unintelligible as he passed Dom his coffee, took his tea from across the table.
"Oh, come on, Bill. When you talk that fast, even I have trouble understanding you sometimes."
"It wasnae that fast."
"Was too. Just soup and salad? Your stomach still bothering you?"
"Noo, no really. Just doan want tae push it. Soo start talkin'."
"Where?"
"Wha' started th' three-day bender."
Dom was silent for a moment, staring at his coffee as he stirred sugar into it. "The play ended early."
"Ah figured," Billy said quietly.
"Three weeks early."
"Ach, shite. Ah'm soorry, Dom."
"It sucked, Billy."
Billy said nothing. Just watched.
"I mean, it was really bad. Atrocious."
Billy stayed silent.
Dom's voice grew edgy. "Aren't you going to say anything?"
"Ah ded. Ah seid Ah'm soorry. An' Ah really am."
"That's not what you really want to say though, is it?"
"Dom…"
"Why don't you go ahead? Say it. Say 'I told you so'."
"Ah doan want tae."
"Well you did. You told me so. You told me it was going to be a stinker, and you were right," he said bitterly.
"Ah wish Ah wasnae."
"Why did you let me do it? Why--"
"Let you?" Billy interrupted incredulously. "How th' hell wiz Ah s'posed tae stoap ye? Ye told meh tae fuck aff, mind meh oan business, an' quit tryin' tae be yer fuckin' agent, remember? Ah told ye Ah didnae think it wiz a guid idea. Th' choice wiz yours."
"Shit," Dom muttered. "I know, I didn't mean it like that. But couldn't you have…tried harder? To make me listen? I've fucked up, Bill."
"Noo, ye haven't."
"Yes, I have. I should never have gone anywhere near that play. What made me think it was a good idea? I mean, even the script was crap, let alone what we did to it. I tried to--but there was no…"
"Dom, Ah'm sure it wasnae--"
"Did you see any of the reviews?" he asked in a low voice.
Billy hesitated.
"You did, didn't you?"
"Aye. Ah found two. They wheer…fair harsh."
"Most of them would have called us shit if they could print it. How the hell am I supposed to get another job now? If I couldn't before, there's no way anyone…" He trailed off, dropped his head in his hands, long fingers in his hair.
"Dom, neither o' th' reviews Ah reid mentioned ye at all."
"Yeah, keep going Bill, 'cause that's really helping. Do you have any idea how hard this was for me to tell you?"
"It's guid, ye gobshite. Furst, it means yer name isnae bound oop with th' production. Give it a moonth, noboady will remember ye were in it."
"You think?" Dom asked, a sudden spark of hope in his voice.
"Ah do. Dom, we've all goat shite we leave off th' CV. An' sehcond--they didnae mention ye 'cos theer wiz nothin' tae criticize. Tha' means the show may hae been shite, but ye were guid. An' at this point, tha's all tha' shoould matter tae ye."
"But what if I wasn't, Bill?" Dom asked, agonized. Remembered where he was, and lowered his voice. "What if I wasn't good, what if I was just…unmemorable? What if Rings was it? The one big shot, and for ever after I'll just be the 'guy that played that hobbit'? We've joked about it, but it's starting to feel that way. I mean, what have I done since? Two indie films that a grand total of twelve people have seen, and a shit play."
Billy let him rattle on. Knew he needed to get it out of his system, he'd been carrying it too long.
"Everyone else has had at least one good, big project--hell, look at you and Orli. Yours will both go up for fucking Oscars. And a lot of people are saying you should be nominated for King. You should, you know."
Billy snorted, but Dom kept going.
"Everyone has something to work on, something to work towards, and I'm just…drifting. I've been labeled a party animal. What the hell else am I supposed to do, Bill? If I had work, something to get up in the morning for, I'd be the most responsible actor you've ever seen."
Billy couldn't help but grin at him, crossing his arms and leaning back. "'Responsible'? Ye sure tha's the word ye're lookin' for?"
Dom had the grace to blush. "Well…maybe not 'responsible'. Dedicated?"
"Aye. Ye are tha'," Billy agreed.
"I just feel--I feel like shit, actually. I feel like it's over, and I didn't even know it was ending until it was too late."
"An' tha's when ye started drinkin'?"
"Yeah. Went to a club with a mate, and got pissed. Stayed pissed because it felt better. Stayed pissed because I was there and you were here. Stayed pissed because I didn't have the guts to call you and tell you the show was bollocks and let you say 'I told you so'. Stayed pissed because I realized what a fucker I'd been when I left you last time."
"Dom--"
"I'm sorry about that, Billy. I was an arsehole, and I'm really sorry."
"Ah noo ye are. Ah am too. Ah didnae help matters any."
Their food arrived at that point, temporarily halting the conversation as the waiter insisted on salting, peppering, and cheese-ing everything in sight. Billy surreptitiously put his hand over his soup bowl as the cheese grater was waved around. Dom couldn't help it--had to cough to avoid actually laughing. Felt an incredible relief, and a rather overwhelming sense of gratitude toward Billy. He was so good at that--at secret little jokes that kept Dom from dropping too far down. Why the hell had he stayed away, again? He should have come running back the second that God-forsaken play had closed. Wanted Billy to know. Fucking waiter, hovering like that. He tried to nudge Billy with his knee, and ended up kicking him in the shin.
Billy jumped, let out an odd grunt. The waiter eyed him sideways, then after grating another pile of cheese onto Dom's moussaka, left.
Dom tried to hold his mirth in, his shoulders shaking, as he scraped some of the cheese off.
Billy muttered, "Thanks verra much. Now he thinks Ah'm off mah heid."
"Oh God, that was priceless! I didn't mean to do it, but that was too funny." He wiped the corners of his eyes, still chuckling.
Billy smiled. "Ah really cannae take ye oot in public, can Ah?"
"Apparently not." Dom grinned. "Thanks, Bills."
"Fer wha'?"
"Oh, just…you know. And I'm sorry I didn't come back earlier. I should have. I should have come back right after the play ended and apologized. I should have come back, ranted and raved, and let that be the end of it, not sulked in London."
"Aye, ye shoould have. An' Ah shoould have called ye. Ah'm soorry Ah didnae."
"I was kind of surprised," Dom admitted. "Usually you don't let me pull that shit. Why didn't you call?"
"Ah doan think so, laddie. We're no done wi' ye, yet."
"Why, what's left? The bender's no longer a grand mystery."
"Why wiz this soo hard tae tell meh?"
Dom flushed. "I was hoping you hadn't noticed that."
"Ah nooticed."
"Of course you did," he sighed.
"Soo?"
"Because…it's you. I'm embarrassed as hell to have to tell you I failed." He looked down, rubbed the bridge of his nose with his forefinger, hiding behind his hand. "I got so fucking mad when you told me not to do it. I'm jealous, Bill. Jealous of all of you, but you especially. I wanted to prove I'm as good as you are. I wanted you to be proud of me. And I fucked it up royally."
"Ach, Dom. Ye're sich a daft numptie," Billy said fondly.
Dom snorted. "Assuming that means I'm a gormless mardarse, tell me something I don't know."
"All reet, Ah well. Ye're just as guid as th' rest of oos, Dominic. In a lot o' ways, yer better. It's one o' th' reasons Ah loove ye--ye push meh tae be better than Ah am."
Dom opened his mouth to say something, but Billy held his fork up warningly.
"Ded Ah say Ah wiz finished? No, Ah didnae. So shut it. Ah am proud o' ye, no matter wha'. Doan ye ever forget tha'. But yer impulsive. Well ye let meh give ye soom advice? Withoot ye gettin' th' pish oop?"
"I'm hardly in a position to say no, am I?"
"Ye ded las' time."
"Which is why I'm in no position to now. Go ahead."
"When they offered ye tha' play, ded ye do any resairch oan it? Oan the director?"
"No," Dom confessed, looking at his plate.
"Ah noo ye jus' wanted tae work, Dom," he said gently. "Believe meh, Ah've been theer. So let an older, wiser--"
"--Balder, wrinklier, flabbier--"
"Ye gobshite. May Ah finish?"
"Please," Dom inclined his head politely. "Age before beauty."
"Wanker. Ah doan noo why Ah bohther."
"Because you love me."
"Oh. Reet. Ah forgoat. An' 'flabbier'? Ah doan think soo. Ah'm in better shape than ye are."
"Whatever, old man. Go on. I need your help. What kind of research should I be doing?"
An hour later they had finished eating and paid their check. Billy started to put his coat on.
"Hold up, there, mate," Dom objected. "You haven't done any talking yet. We aren't even close to finished."
"Noo, but Ah need tae get oot o' heer. Tha' waiter keeps starin' at meh, he's creepin' meh oot."
Dom chuckled. "Maybe he likes you."
"Oor he's debatin' callin' th' polis, thanks tae ye."
"Where are we going to go?"
"Let's jus' find a café." He got up and left, taking his package, leaving Dom no choice but to follow.
Dom's little inner devil suddenly whispered in his ear. "Billy," Dom called just as the other man was passing the waiter and nodding a thank you. "Billy, it's all right. I've got your medication right here--no one's going to hurt you!"
Billy froze in mid-stride.
So did the waiter.
Without looking back, Billy resumed walking, his pace slightly faster, his shoulders twitching. His voice shook as he muttered, "Deid. Ye are so bloodeh deid." Didn't care how much his threats were frightening the waiter.
When he finally reached the sidewalk outside, he leaned against the building and laughed until tears came to the corners of his eyes. Dom came stumbling out, already in the same state, and collapsed against Billy.
"Oh God, did you see his face?" he gasped. "You should have seen how fast he backed away when I walked by."
"Ye are one evil bastirt, ye noo tha'?" Billy giggled.
"I hope you didn't like that restaurant too much."
"Luckily, noo."
"Serves you right for abandoning me yesterday anyway." Dom was starting to get his breath back. Still leaned against Billy for support.
Billy straightened, a funny look on his face. Suddenly laughed. Tucked the electronics box under his arm. Said firmly, "Reet. Ah noo where we're goin'."
"Where?"
"Ye'll see. C'moan." He stepped to the curb, refusing to say more. Kept scanning the traffic for a free cab.
"Billy, tell me where we're going. Please? Oh, come on, just tell me. Where are we going, huh? Pleeeease?" Dom knew Billy had a low tolerance for whining, used and abused it whenever he could.
Billy ignored him. Spotted a cab and waved it over. He got in, slamming the door behind him, forcing Dom to go around to the far side. Took that time to tell the cabbie their destination.
Dom climbed in. "Thanks, you wanker."
"Noo prooblem," Billy replied airily.
"Where are we going?"
"Persistent bugger, aren't ye?"
"This surprises you?" Dom raised an eyebrow.
"Ye constantly surprise meh, Dominic."
"Oh--well….Good. I think."
They were silent for a bit. Until Dom started to get suspicious about what he was seeing out the window.
"Billy--we're not going where I think we're going, are we?"
"Noo. Def'nitely no."
"We are, aren't we?"
"Aye."
Dom grinned. "Sometimes you really are as big a dork as Elijah."
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Loved the medication comment.
and there's a part five? Looking forward to it.
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Thanks--I find it a bit hard to keep it "toned down" when he's not Drunk!Billeh. And yet that was the point at the beginning, that his accent gets thicker when he's drunk, so it's probably still too thick, but...
Oh well. Thanks! :)
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LOL its absolutely GREAT!! funny/sweet/cute and everything good.
I cant wait to read more...and I hope it doesnt end soon :D
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LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Omg this one had me laugh so hard I think I sprained something!!! But also...very moving in the middle. I just love this series...I really do. Beautiful work!
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:) Thank you very much!
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b) I can't _WAIT_ for part five. And, if it were up to me? There'd be a part six too. But hey, no pressure.
c) I loved the other three parts as well, I didn't comment though since I was lost in the sea of comments already there.
d) Where I End And You Begin is such a fantastic song.
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b)Might be, who knows?
c)Thank you *hands you cookies*
d)It is, isn't it?
Thanks! :)
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*Giggle.* Is it bad that I don't feel the least bit guilty that you must continue writing to appease the masses? Yay, a part 5! xD
Aw, poor Dom. Not wanting to tell Billy that he'd screwed up, because he wanted Billy to be proud of him ... *Sentimental sniff.* Theyaresocute. But now I'm really curious ...where are they going? O.o Should I have picked that up, and am just being stupid, or was it supposed to be mysterious?
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You make me laugh. :) No, it's not bad, it means you're enjoying it, and that makes me happy happy joy joy.
where are they going?
I honestly didn't know if I was making it obvious or mysterious. I think it's probably just down to how you read it. But don't worry, the question is answered at the very beginning of chpt 5!
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Aw.
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LOL!
I am having SO much fun with this series. Thank you!
And eeeee, Billy's turn now!
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Aww, how'd you guess? ;)
And thank you.
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'Playstation'? OMG..that has so many icon-abilites!!! Ijust want to say that just as much as I'm loving your spot-on Billy, your Dom and Lij rock hard too!!
Keep it coming, girlfriend!
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LOL. Go for it. Just send me one when you're finished. :)
your Dom and Lij rock hard too
Thank you! I actually find Dom a bit difficult--he's always been the most unreadable to me.
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Sorry you're not enjoying it.
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Cool. :) Thank you!
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And, umm, if you ever need/want a beta...
*does a bambi-eyelash bat*
It would be a pleasure. X
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*adores your bambi-eyelash bat*
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"If Elijah Wood doesn't want us in his precious apartment anymore…"
"Oh, for God's sake." Elijah dropped his forehead onto the cold table top. Added, "And please don't say precious again. Ever."
I laughed so loud at this, my husband came upstairs to find out what was going on. XD
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And you'll find out where they're going soon, I promise!
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Thank you. :)
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brilliant
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Thank you *so* much for that. :)
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Dom knew Billy had a low tolerance for whining, used and abused it whenever he could.
I love that. It's so real. I can absolutely imagine Billy getting annoyed at whining and Dom would of course use it to his advantage.
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Anyway, this installment was just hilarious, and that's coming from someone who thought the waiter/medication bit wasn't a highlight comparatively.
Can't wait for part five. And if you're blaming us for this, I happily accept the blame!
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I would love that--I'm hoping one well-versed in Mancunian will volunteer. :)
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Alright. I have to grovel at your feet for a minute, because I can actually hear Dom and Billy (and Elijah, when you write him in, which I love to bits) in my head. So, without further ado: *grovelgrovel*
I'm excited for part five. More Manchester and Glasgow in written form? I'm all over that.
Oh! and one more thing: I must fit the word gobshite into a conversation tomorrow. It's my mission for the day.
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Thanks very much, and I'm glad it amuses you!
(Did you use the word gobshite today? I wanna know now!)
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This is amazing!
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[working in a little more of dom's accent would be awesome...but come to think of it, it might be a good idea to hold off on writing it out phonetically for continuity's sake. it's gonna get confusing if dom suddenly sprouts an accent out of nowhere.]
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Thanks for the 'believable' comment--that means a lot! :)
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epicanthus@hotmail.com
And I'll need yours as well!
Looking ever so forward to it!
Bron X