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fellowshippers2004-01-22 04:10 pm
lulla-belle1208.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2004-01-22 04:10 pm
(no subject)
Title: Crying is Best.
Rating: R, for language and subject matter
Pairing: D’orli
Summary: Dominic has a problem.
Disclaimer: Don’t know. Don’t Own. Don’t sue.
Warning: Involves depression talks about cutting. So if you really can't stand the thought of that, then don’t read.
Author: Me, Billylovesdom@hotmail.com
A/n: Um, written for um…who should I dedicate this too? Oh I’ll just do the usual for my lovely![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
maidenvixen and sheselectric. Without them two I probably wouldn’t be me :-D
Dominic slid the razorblade over is thigh. He didn’t even wince at the pain. He watched as the dark red liquid slipped from him and slid down his white thigh. He closed his eyes and laid his head back against the cold tile. That felt good. Real good. He sighed and looked down at his thighs. Scars and healing cuts blurred under the color of blood. The faint scent of the blood could be smelt. Dominic sighed again. This felt really, really good.
Along with the blood every pent up emotion that he had slipped out with the blood, creeping up to the surface of the cut, planning its retreat back inside before Dominic could heal and rid himself completely of it. He grabbed the damp towel off of the sink and wiped up the blood that was threatening to spill onto the floor.
Orlando was going to kill Dominic soon. Orlando was going to kill Dominic when he got home from whatever movie shoot he was on tomorrow. Orlando was going to kill Dominic deader than dead. Dominic wasn’t supposed to be cutting himself, yet here he was doing it. He’d done it five times since Orlando had left two months ago. Dominic made a mental note to write his will because Orlando was going to kill him.
(---)
Orlando came into the house the next morning, worried as hell that Dominic had done something foolish (as he usually did when Orlando was gone from the house longer than the time it takes to shop for food). Orlando went upstairs and found Dominic still sleeping peacefully on the bed, Orlando sighed and crawled in behind Dominic. He kissed his cheek and snuggled up closer.
He ran a hand over Dominics’ torso, taking stock of every single scar. He had counted them a thousand times and new the placement of all 42 of them. Orlandos’ hand ventured over Dominics’ thigh and he stopped. No. Not again.
He sat up and pulled the covers back off of Dominics’ legs. He stared at the two new scars and the three healing ones. Why? What had happened in Dominics’ life that was so bad…so bad that this was the result. Orlandos’ mouth instinctively kissed the two new scars and he placed light kisses over two of the scabbed cuts, leaving the third, fresher one alone. He fingered the scars and looked at Dominic as he woke up.
Dominic backed away. “Orli…I…couldn’t help it, please…I’m sorry, don’t leave, I just…I couldn’t help it. I’m so sorry. I had no one to talk to.”
Orlandos’ face was calm and serene. He had no anger in him. He was too sad and hurt to be angry. “What about Billy?”
“He…never answered his phone.”
“You can’t lie for shit. Viggo? Elijah? Ian? John? Sean? Bean? Fuck, ME?!”
Dominic winced as Orlandos’ voice hit a tone he hated. Orlando was bloody pissed. “Dominic, damn it. What about your brother? Your mother? Father? Billys’ sister? Liv? Miranda? P.J.? Fran? Phillipa? You want me to continue.”
“They don’t understand…”
“We don’t have to understand. We love you and that’s all that should matter.”
“But it doesn’t.”
“What do you want from me Dominic?”
“Don’t leave me.”
Orlando sighed and pulled Dominic into his arms. “I’m not going to leave you, you prat.”
Dominic burrowed into Orlandos’ arms, grasping and searching for his warmth. “Why this time?”
“I saw…pictures…”
“Fuck. Of Kate and I?”
Dominic nodded helplessly. “I just…remembered…”
“Dominic, Kate is PR, that’s all she is. I told you a million times I’m not going to leave you like Bills did.”
“But…”
“Don’t fucking ‘but’ me, I’m not going to leave you. I love you too much…you got to stop doing this.”
“But, it’s a release…”
“Does it still hurt?”
“The cuts…”
“Not the cuts, Dominic. You know what I’m asking.”
Dominic fell silent. He refused to look into those beautifully dark questioning eyes. Refused. He absolutely wouldn’t do it. His head and body betrayed him, and forced him to look up at Orlando. Orlandos’ liquid chocolate eyes were filled with a hurt and an intense sadness. Dominic felt a pull at his heart. He felt tears threatening his own sad blue-gray eyes. He tried to look away but couldn’t. He felt the need to lock himself in a bathroom with a razorblade and slice his body until he couldn’t bleed anymore, until no more pain could or would flow from him.
Orlando reached up and ran his hand down the side of Dominics’ cheek. “’Sblomie…darling, I love you.”
“I know…and yes…it still hurts.”
Orlando played with the shaggy mop of hair and kissed Dominic on the top of the head. “No more…if I have to chain you to myself to make sure you don’t do it I will.”
Dominic didn’t say anything.
“You’re going to go to a therapist. You’re going to talk to them. If you need medicine you’re going to take it. You’re going to cut back on your drinking. You’re going to stop cutting yourself.”
Dominic didn’t say anything, only sat in Orlandos’ lap like a child who was getting scolded. He nodded his consent and was rewarded with a soft kiss on his temple and a hand on the back of his neck, cupping it lightly. “Bloody hell, Dominic. I love you. And I’m here for you and everyone else is here for you too. Everyone. Hell I’m sure some fangirl would even listen to you…”
Dominic forced a smirk; a tear was slipping down his cheek. Orlando kissed it away. “Cry…cry because it will feel good. Cry because that gets the pain out so much better.”
Dominic cried…and Orlando was right. It did get the pain out better and easier. The world was stopped, anything that mattered or existed was in Orlandos’ arms, in the tears that fell from Dominic and in the feel of Orlandos’ hand playing through messy shaggy hair. Crying did help. Crying got the pain out so much better than cutting.
Rating: R, for language and subject matter
Pairing: D’orli
Summary: Dominic has a problem.
Disclaimer: Don’t know. Don’t Own. Don’t sue.
Warning: Involves depression talks about cutting. So if you really can't stand the thought of that, then don’t read.
Author: Me, Billylovesdom@hotmail.com
A/n: Um, written for um…who should I dedicate this too? Oh I’ll just do the usual for my lovely
maidenvixen and sheselectric. Without them two I probably wouldn’t be me :-DDominic slid the razorblade over is thigh. He didn’t even wince at the pain. He watched as the dark red liquid slipped from him and slid down his white thigh. He closed his eyes and laid his head back against the cold tile. That felt good. Real good. He sighed and looked down at his thighs. Scars and healing cuts blurred under the color of blood. The faint scent of the blood could be smelt. Dominic sighed again. This felt really, really good.
Along with the blood every pent up emotion that he had slipped out with the blood, creeping up to the surface of the cut, planning its retreat back inside before Dominic could heal and rid himself completely of it. He grabbed the damp towel off of the sink and wiped up the blood that was threatening to spill onto the floor.
Orlando was going to kill Dominic soon. Orlando was going to kill Dominic when he got home from whatever movie shoot he was on tomorrow. Orlando was going to kill Dominic deader than dead. Dominic wasn’t supposed to be cutting himself, yet here he was doing it. He’d done it five times since Orlando had left two months ago. Dominic made a mental note to write his will because Orlando was going to kill him.
(---)
Orlando came into the house the next morning, worried as hell that Dominic had done something foolish (as he usually did when Orlando was gone from the house longer than the time it takes to shop for food). Orlando went upstairs and found Dominic still sleeping peacefully on the bed, Orlando sighed and crawled in behind Dominic. He kissed his cheek and snuggled up closer.
He ran a hand over Dominics’ torso, taking stock of every single scar. He had counted them a thousand times and new the placement of all 42 of them. Orlandos’ hand ventured over Dominics’ thigh and he stopped. No. Not again.
He sat up and pulled the covers back off of Dominics’ legs. He stared at the two new scars and the three healing ones. Why? What had happened in Dominics’ life that was so bad…so bad that this was the result. Orlandos’ mouth instinctively kissed the two new scars and he placed light kisses over two of the scabbed cuts, leaving the third, fresher one alone. He fingered the scars and looked at Dominic as he woke up.
Dominic backed away. “Orli…I…couldn’t help it, please…I’m sorry, don’t leave, I just…I couldn’t help it. I’m so sorry. I had no one to talk to.”
Orlandos’ face was calm and serene. He had no anger in him. He was too sad and hurt to be angry. “What about Billy?”
“He…never answered his phone.”
“You can’t lie for shit. Viggo? Elijah? Ian? John? Sean? Bean? Fuck, ME?!”
Dominic winced as Orlandos’ voice hit a tone he hated. Orlando was bloody pissed. “Dominic, damn it. What about your brother? Your mother? Father? Billys’ sister? Liv? Miranda? P.J.? Fran? Phillipa? You want me to continue.”
“They don’t understand…”
“We don’t have to understand. We love you and that’s all that should matter.”
“But it doesn’t.”
“What do you want from me Dominic?”
“Don’t leave me.”
Orlando sighed and pulled Dominic into his arms. “I’m not going to leave you, you prat.”
Dominic burrowed into Orlandos’ arms, grasping and searching for his warmth. “Why this time?”
“I saw…pictures…”
“Fuck. Of Kate and I?”
Dominic nodded helplessly. “I just…remembered…”
“Dominic, Kate is PR, that’s all she is. I told you a million times I’m not going to leave you like Bills did.”
“But…”
“Don’t fucking ‘but’ me, I’m not going to leave you. I love you too much…you got to stop doing this.”
“But, it’s a release…”
“Does it still hurt?”
“The cuts…”
“Not the cuts, Dominic. You know what I’m asking.”
Dominic fell silent. He refused to look into those beautifully dark questioning eyes. Refused. He absolutely wouldn’t do it. His head and body betrayed him, and forced him to look up at Orlando. Orlandos’ liquid chocolate eyes were filled with a hurt and an intense sadness. Dominic felt a pull at his heart. He felt tears threatening his own sad blue-gray eyes. He tried to look away but couldn’t. He felt the need to lock himself in a bathroom with a razorblade and slice his body until he couldn’t bleed anymore, until no more pain could or would flow from him.
Orlando reached up and ran his hand down the side of Dominics’ cheek. “’Sblomie…darling, I love you.”
“I know…and yes…it still hurts.”
Orlando played with the shaggy mop of hair and kissed Dominic on the top of the head. “No more…if I have to chain you to myself to make sure you don’t do it I will.”
Dominic didn’t say anything.
“You’re going to go to a therapist. You’re going to talk to them. If you need medicine you’re going to take it. You’re going to cut back on your drinking. You’re going to stop cutting yourself.”
Dominic didn’t say anything, only sat in Orlandos’ lap like a child who was getting scolded. He nodded his consent and was rewarded with a soft kiss on his temple and a hand on the back of his neck, cupping it lightly. “Bloody hell, Dominic. I love you. And I’m here for you and everyone else is here for you too. Everyone. Hell I’m sure some fangirl would even listen to you…”
Dominic forced a smirk; a tear was slipping down his cheek. Orlando kissed it away. “Cry…cry because it will feel good. Cry because that gets the pain out so much better.”
Dominic cried…and Orlando was right. It did get the pain out better and easier. The world was stopped, anything that mattered or existed was in Orlandos’ arms, in the tears that fell from Dominic and in the feel of Orlandos’ hand playing through messy shaggy hair. Crying did help. Crying got the pain out so much better than cutting.
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Brilliant.
Crying got the pain out so much better than cutting.
Very true.. *sighs*
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hmmm, thank you i'm verreh glad you likd it
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No problem :)
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*shrugs* i've accepted it. :D besides i got my codie to talk to and my megan when things get inanely bad
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He felt the need to lock himself in a bathroom with a razorblade and slice his body until he couldn’t bleed anymore, until no more pain could or would flow from him.
that was fucking gorgeous, and so real.
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kthxbye.
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stop putting words in my mouth!
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i love it because (aside from the awesomeness that it is) i relate. and relating to stories makes them better than anything. crying doesnt help with me though ;(
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thank you *hugs*