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fellowshippers2004-01-22 11:41 pm
woodcliff.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2004-01-22 11:41 pm
(no subject)
Title: Port-A-Loo
Author: Eliyah eliyah@dombillijah.com
Website: http://www.angelfire.com/ma3/padders/twib.html
Pairing: VM/KU
Category: Romance (yes, I'm going with that)
Rating: R (see title)
Warning: The lameness of this plot is rivaled only by the low-brow-ness of this story
Summary: Viggo fixes Karl's shoulders
Feedback: With trepidation
Viggo queued for the port-a-loo.
There was a line, three Orcs deep and a shut fast plastic door between Viggo and relief.
It was a hot day. The painted Styrofoam set baked, the latex suffocated.
The Orcs were swaying, moving from foot to foot in an agony of anticipation.
They were scrabbling with each other's cockpieces, helping each other out.
Viggo put on a disinterested face, but watched out of the corner of his eyes. Appreciatively, he observed those burley men run gloved hands down their comrade's crevices, prying open thick rubber to expose gleaming flashes of white underwear.
Viggo sucked his water bottle and smiled.
"What's the hold-up?" the first Orc banged meaty fists, the toilet vibrated.
"Who's in there?" the second Orc yelled.
"It's bloody Eomer, again!" the third one cried. "Bugger, we should just go in the bushes. He always takes ages."
Viggo sighed, dejected, as the men limped away.
The mobile bathroom, which was powder blue and smaller than a phone box began to rock.
There were thumps and a very deep male voice grunting.
Viggo reached out and opened the door.
There was a man inside, with tall stature with a wigged head and great eyes bulging in surprise.
Karl's chest and hips were pointed at the toilet, his shoulders half turned, his muscled neck twisted around to stare at Viggo. His face was covered in perspiration and red.
"Need help?" Viggo grinned.
"I'm stuck," Karl said, grinding his broad shoulders against the doorframe. "Costume is going to kill me if I mess the paint up."
"Here, let me," Viggo said and stepped in.
Viggo squeezed his slim frame under Karl's arm. The port-a-loo door clanged shut behind him.
"Am I glad to see you! I'm in a bit of strife," Karl panted. "My shoulders are too big for me to move and my arms are all over the place, I've only got a ten minute break. My dick's half out and I haven't had a piss yet!"
"It's all right," Viggo put a placating hand on Karl's chest. "Lets do this one thing at a time. Why don't you go to the toilet first?"
"With you here?" Karl's voice raised higher. "Looking?"
"Yep, don't mind me," Viggo shrugged.
"I can't go with you, eyeing me," Karl blushed.
"Just close your eyes and pretend I'm not here," Viggo said reasonably. "But look, I kind of can't leave now because I don't think I can squeeze back past you without climbing over. It is very cramped after all."
"Okay, all right," Karl took puffing breaths and shut his eyes.
After a moment, Karl sighed.
"Could you give us a hand?" Karl said.
Viggo laughed.
"It's just that I'm not pointed the right way," Karl gave his crotch a vindictive look.
Viggo's gaze, naturally, followed down to Karl's groin.
Karl's genitals were engorged with urgency and half erect, but the target and vector were indeed a problem.
"You don't have to, if you think I'm coming on to you," Karl said bluntly. "And stop gawking, I know its hideous."
"Not like I've not seen cocks in my time," Viggo said with an intent look. "And what you've got isn't half bad."
"You're making fun of me," Karl shook his head, his head gear clanged dully on the plastic roof.
Viggo slipped his quick hand over Karl's penis and held it steady. Karl, startled, near pierced the ceiling with his helmet crest.
"Would it help if I whistled?" Viggo said teasingly.
Karl's nostrils were flaring and his high cheekbones were stained scarlet.
Karl did his business, shuddering to think of his organ pulsing in Viggo's hand. Viggo's fingers were velvet with callus, the inside of his wrist smooth and tender where it cupped Karl's scrotum.
Viggo tucked Karl away neatly when he was done, complimenting Karl gently. "You have very pretty foreskin."
Karl didn't know what to say, so what came out of his mouth was "Am sure you do too."
Just to be polite, of course.
Viggo gave Karl a crooked smile and hooked his arms around Karl's neck. Karl tensed.
With a click, Viggo deftly undid the clasps holding the shoulder pads in place. Karl dropped back and fell through the door.
Viggo followed suit, wiping his hands on his trousers.
"I don't, I'm cut," Viggo said. "You should handle it to get a feel of how the contrasting textures are interesting."
And before Karl could say anything to that proposition, a megaphone blared for Viggo and he was gone.
Karl stomped away in a mood.
Firstly, it was hotter now than before. Secondly, Karl didn't know how to put his shoulder guards back on. Thirdly, Karl was confused.
What did Viggo just invite him to do, exactly?
All afternoon, Karl wondered if Viggo wanted Karl to help him take a leak or if Viggo was suggesting something else.
Every tea break was an agony, Karl could not help but follow Viggo around with his eyes. Each time Viggo went to the loo, Karl debated fiercely with himself whether he should follow. Each time, Karl talked himself out of it.
The night was cold. It came late but was chilling. Karl's trailer mattresses was thin. Karl tossed and turned inside his blankets. Karl stared out the window with his hands behind his head. Viggo liked Karl's foreskin, Karl thought. Karl could not dream to sleep.
When Karl got there, the loo was empty. Karl checked it three times. He felt a bit of an idiot, Viggo was in his bed snoozing and not about to lurk around the men's just to rendezvous with Karl.
Karl stood under a nearby tree, crossed his arms and gave the moon a few baleful minutes of his attention. He should head back to bed too.
"Hey," Viggo stepped out from the shadows. "I see you're in mafti. No more port-a-loo crisis."
Karl nodded, his felt horribly dry, Karl felt the urge to drink litres of water and piss for hours with Viggo's hands on him.
Karl blushed with the thought, his tongue thickened further in his mouth.
"So what are you doing here then, in the middle of the night?" Viggo asked casually.
Karl felt as if he was wearing his full armour again, he thought he'd keel over under the weight of Viggo's interested regard.
"I don't know," Karl said at last, honestly.
Viggo brushed Karl's hair back from his face, they both had dark hair that sometimes fell into their eyes.
Karl bent his knees and sunk a few inches lower to kiss Viggo.
Dimly, Karl regretted that his great romance with Viggo begun in a wheely-loo.
But apart from that, it felt gorgeous.
Author: Eliyah eliyah@dombillijah.com
Website: http://www.angelfire.com/ma3/padders/twib.html
Pairing: VM/KU
Category: Romance (yes, I'm going with that)
Rating: R (see title)
Warning: The lameness of this plot is rivaled only by the low-brow-ness of this story
Summary: Viggo fixes Karl's shoulders
Feedback: With trepidation
Viggo queued for the port-a-loo.
There was a line, three Orcs deep and a shut fast plastic door between Viggo and relief.
It was a hot day. The painted Styrofoam set baked, the latex suffocated.
The Orcs were swaying, moving from foot to foot in an agony of anticipation.
They were scrabbling with each other's cockpieces, helping each other out.
Viggo put on a disinterested face, but watched out of the corner of his eyes. Appreciatively, he observed those burley men run gloved hands down their comrade's crevices, prying open thick rubber to expose gleaming flashes of white underwear.
Viggo sucked his water bottle and smiled.
"What's the hold-up?" the first Orc banged meaty fists, the toilet vibrated.
"Who's in there?" the second Orc yelled.
"It's bloody Eomer, again!" the third one cried. "Bugger, we should just go in the bushes. He always takes ages."
Viggo sighed, dejected, as the men limped away.
The mobile bathroom, which was powder blue and smaller than a phone box began to rock.
There were thumps and a very deep male voice grunting.
Viggo reached out and opened the door.
There was a man inside, with tall stature with a wigged head and great eyes bulging in surprise.
Karl's chest and hips were pointed at the toilet, his shoulders half turned, his muscled neck twisted around to stare at Viggo. His face was covered in perspiration and red.
"Need help?" Viggo grinned.
"I'm stuck," Karl said, grinding his broad shoulders against the doorframe. "Costume is going to kill me if I mess the paint up."
"Here, let me," Viggo said and stepped in.
Viggo squeezed his slim frame under Karl's arm. The port-a-loo door clanged shut behind him.
"Am I glad to see you! I'm in a bit of strife," Karl panted. "My shoulders are too big for me to move and my arms are all over the place, I've only got a ten minute break. My dick's half out and I haven't had a piss yet!"
"It's all right," Viggo put a placating hand on Karl's chest. "Lets do this one thing at a time. Why don't you go to the toilet first?"
"With you here?" Karl's voice raised higher. "Looking?"
"Yep, don't mind me," Viggo shrugged.
"I can't go with you, eyeing me," Karl blushed.
"Just close your eyes and pretend I'm not here," Viggo said reasonably. "But look, I kind of can't leave now because I don't think I can squeeze back past you without climbing over. It is very cramped after all."
"Okay, all right," Karl took puffing breaths and shut his eyes.
After a moment, Karl sighed.
"Could you give us a hand?" Karl said.
Viggo laughed.
"It's just that I'm not pointed the right way," Karl gave his crotch a vindictive look.
Viggo's gaze, naturally, followed down to Karl's groin.
Karl's genitals were engorged with urgency and half erect, but the target and vector were indeed a problem.
"You don't have to, if you think I'm coming on to you," Karl said bluntly. "And stop gawking, I know its hideous."
"Not like I've not seen cocks in my time," Viggo said with an intent look. "And what you've got isn't half bad."
"You're making fun of me," Karl shook his head, his head gear clanged dully on the plastic roof.
Viggo slipped his quick hand over Karl's penis and held it steady. Karl, startled, near pierced the ceiling with his helmet crest.
"Would it help if I whistled?" Viggo said teasingly.
Karl's nostrils were flaring and his high cheekbones were stained scarlet.
Karl did his business, shuddering to think of his organ pulsing in Viggo's hand. Viggo's fingers were velvet with callus, the inside of his wrist smooth and tender where it cupped Karl's scrotum.
Viggo tucked Karl away neatly when he was done, complimenting Karl gently. "You have very pretty foreskin."
Karl didn't know what to say, so what came out of his mouth was "Am sure you do too."
Just to be polite, of course.
Viggo gave Karl a crooked smile and hooked his arms around Karl's neck. Karl tensed.
With a click, Viggo deftly undid the clasps holding the shoulder pads in place. Karl dropped back and fell through the door.
Viggo followed suit, wiping his hands on his trousers.
"I don't, I'm cut," Viggo said. "You should handle it to get a feel of how the contrasting textures are interesting."
And before Karl could say anything to that proposition, a megaphone blared for Viggo and he was gone.
Karl stomped away in a mood.
Firstly, it was hotter now than before. Secondly, Karl didn't know how to put his shoulder guards back on. Thirdly, Karl was confused.
What did Viggo just invite him to do, exactly?
All afternoon, Karl wondered if Viggo wanted Karl to help him take a leak or if Viggo was suggesting something else.
Every tea break was an agony, Karl could not help but follow Viggo around with his eyes. Each time Viggo went to the loo, Karl debated fiercely with himself whether he should follow. Each time, Karl talked himself out of it.
The night was cold. It came late but was chilling. Karl's trailer mattresses was thin. Karl tossed and turned inside his blankets. Karl stared out the window with his hands behind his head. Viggo liked Karl's foreskin, Karl thought. Karl could not dream to sleep.
When Karl got there, the loo was empty. Karl checked it three times. He felt a bit of an idiot, Viggo was in his bed snoozing and not about to lurk around the men's just to rendezvous with Karl.
Karl stood under a nearby tree, crossed his arms and gave the moon a few baleful minutes of his attention. He should head back to bed too.
"Hey," Viggo stepped out from the shadows. "I see you're in mafti. No more port-a-loo crisis."
Karl nodded, his felt horribly dry, Karl felt the urge to drink litres of water and piss for hours with Viggo's hands on him.
Karl blushed with the thought, his tongue thickened further in his mouth.
"So what are you doing here then, in the middle of the night?" Viggo asked casually.
Karl felt as if he was wearing his full armour again, he thought he'd keel over under the weight of Viggo's interested regard.
"I don't know," Karl said at last, honestly.
Viggo brushed Karl's hair back from his face, they both had dark hair that sometimes fell into their eyes.
Karl bent his knees and sunk a few inches lower to kiss Viggo.
Dimly, Karl regretted that his great romance with Viggo begun in a wheely-loo.
But apart from that, it felt gorgeous.
no subject
I love it. It put a huge smile on my face. It's so lovely to read something so completely different. I adore the way that this verged on the riddiculous and yet was painfully sweet at the same time.
Please write more of this kind of thing!
no subject
no subject
Also...
Dimly, Karl regretted that his great romance with Viggo begun in a wheely-loo.
So sweet. Thank you. :)
no subject
:-D
MORE!
Lame? i think not.
You know what would make that just a little better though?...
More!
no subject
"You have very pretty foreskin."
I think I ruptured my spleen. This was great, absolutely hilarious. I love this sort of dry tone of humour, how Karl is considering everything so analytically and Viggo is so matter-of-fact. Very lovely. xD
no subject