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fellowshippers2003-12-24 12:59 pm
orolin.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2003-12-24 12:59 pm
Merry Christmas!
Title: Christmas Eve On The M6
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
orolin
Fandom: LotR RPS >> Dom/Billy
Rating: PG-13 (? I'm not good with American ratings)
Disclaimer: This is isn't true.
Extra: This is for EVERYONE! Yes, including you, whoever you are! Merry Christmas :D
Summary: Wherein Billy hates Christmas, Dom sings annoying TV themes and everyone gets stick of turkey.
For EVERYONE - Merry Christmas!
It was the 24th of December, the rain was thrashing hard at the window screen, and Billy Boyd was feeling anything but Christmassy.
In fact, he was pretty much hating the bloody holiday.
Billy sighed, leant back in the seat, rubbed his eyes and stared out at the traffic jam in front if them. Beside him, Dom was singing the Funhouse theme tune and waving animatedly at a kid in the back seat of the car in the next lane.
“What the hell are you singing that for?” Billy asked incredulously.
Dom shrugged, “Didn’t you ever watch Funhouse?”
“Dom, I was about twenty-five when it was on. And you must have been about seventeen.”
Dom cocked his head and waved at the little kid again, “I used to like Pat Sharpe’s hair.”
“Pat Sharpe had a mullet.”
Another shrug, “He was nice back then. I suppose you fancied the twin girls that helped him out.” Dom grinned and lent forwards to switch on the radio. “Merry Christmas Everyone” was playing. Again. Billy changed stations.
“Is this all they’re playing now?!” He cried as “Mistletoe and Wine” filled the car.
Dom picked up some of the tinsel he’d thrown on the dashboard before they’d set off from Manchester (much to Billy’s annoyance) and started fiddling with it. “It’s not Christmas without a Cliff Richard song.”
Billy groaned silently and wound down his window. A gust of cold mist and even colder rain blasted in, mixing with the warm heater air. Staring out at the standstill of traffic around them, he thought about how everyone was just trying to get somewhere for tomorrow. Presents had to be given, family and friends visited.
“I can’t believe we’re stuck on the M6 on fucking Christmas Eve.”
Dom glanced over at him, “We’ll be out of here soon, they’ll have the accident cleared up soon. It’s been over an hour.”
The ‘accident’ he referred to was a Sainsbury’s lorry’s rush delivery of turkeys falling out the back and spilling all over the motorway. The policeman that had come down and tapped on every window had informed them they’d be moving again in not time. That had been over an hour and twenty minutes ago.
Billy wound his window back up. “How long can picking up a few bloody turkeys seriously take?! We’re never going to be in Glasgow by seven.”
Dom reached out and grabbed his hand. “It’s okay! It doesn’t matter!”
“We should’ve left your parents house earlier. I told you that noon was too late.” Billy pulled his hand away.
“It’s not my fault my mum told the whole family to come round before we left. I don’t get to see them all that often, if you hadn’t realised.”
Billy stared straight ahead. “Neither do I, if you hadn’t realised. That’s why I’d actually like to see them before New Years arrives.”
Dom put his head against the cold window. That kid was waving again, but he ignored him. He could hear Billy swearing under his breath.
Suddenly, Dom didn’t feel so Christmassy anymore either.
***************
Billy didn’t want to look at Dom. He was trying to avoid glancing over at him because he knew that Dom would just burst out laughing. Risking a glance, hoping Dom was looking the other way, Billy glimpsed over at him from the corner of his eye
Dom was staring straight at him, his face almost purple and his hand smothering his sniggers. Uncontrollably, he burst in to a fit of giggles. Billy tried to keep a straight face. He tried to look angry. That’s what he was – pissed off. There was nothing that was going to make him laugh.
“So… I guess you won’t want to be eating turkey tomorrow then,” Dom said in-between laughs.
Billy couldn’t help but laugh. He thought how nice it was, the two of them laughing again in a car covered in smashed up turkey.
“I can’t believe that the bloody lorry burst its turkeys all over the motorway again right as we came up behind it.”
Billy smiled, pressing the button to squirt water at the window screen. Raw chunks of turkey slid slowly down the glass.
Dom grimaced, glancing out at the service station whose parking space they’d were currently occupying. “Can we go and get a nice, big, greasy service station style all-day English breakfast now, please?”
***************
“Shit! Shit, shit, fucking, bloody wanker!”
Dom raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think it will disappear, however hard you kick it or however many toes you break.”
Billy turned away from the car, head in his hands. “Fuck.”
Dom stared down at the bright yellow clamp fastened tightly around the front wheel. “Y’know, we should’ve just flown up.”
Billy sighed. “We’re never going to get up there until tomorrow. This is exactly how I thought this day would pan out. We should’ve left… what the hell are you doing?”
Dom was crouched down, looking under the car. He stood up, brushing off his jeans and said, “You bloody idiot! You parked on a crossed off space,” He threw his arms out. “All these spaces and you go and park in the only one that you’re not supposed to!”
Billy frowned, looked under the car and offered a weak smile. “It was the turkey! I couldn’t see properly!”
Dom grinned, hitting his arm. “Wanker. Now can we get in the car before I die of hypothermia, please?”
***************
The heater was on full blast in the car as daylight hit, but Billy and Dom didn’t really notice.
“I feel like such a teenage slag, shagging my boyfriend in the back seat of a car hoping nobody will notice.”
“Don’t forget the bit about it being while parked in a service station. “Dom replied, a smile playing on his lips.
“In a car covered with turkey.” Billy added.
Dom laughed, “Do you think your family will believe our excuse for being late?”
Billy shrugged, “It doesn’t matter anymore. I wanted to spend Christmas with you, and I am doing, so that’s all the matters.”
Dom leaned over, meeting his lips in a kiss, “Merry Christmas.”
***************
and this spells The End of Kirsty's Christmas ficlet treat! :D If anybody was curious to how the Funhouse theme tune goes, you can find out here by scrolling to the bottom and clicking on the 274k bit under 'Funhouse (Opening)'.
Author:
orolinFandom: LotR RPS >> Dom/Billy
Rating: PG-13 (? I'm not good with American ratings)
Disclaimer: This is isn't true.
Extra: This is for EVERYONE! Yes, including you, whoever you are! Merry Christmas :D
Summary: Wherein Billy hates Christmas, Dom sings annoying TV themes and everyone gets stick of turkey.
For EVERYONE - Merry Christmas!
It was the 24th of December, the rain was thrashing hard at the window screen, and Billy Boyd was feeling anything but Christmassy.
In fact, he was pretty much hating the bloody holiday.
Billy sighed, leant back in the seat, rubbed his eyes and stared out at the traffic jam in front if them. Beside him, Dom was singing the Funhouse theme tune and waving animatedly at a kid in the back seat of the car in the next lane.
“What the hell are you singing that for?” Billy asked incredulously.
Dom shrugged, “Didn’t you ever watch Funhouse?”
“Dom, I was about twenty-five when it was on. And you must have been about seventeen.”
Dom cocked his head and waved at the little kid again, “I used to like Pat Sharpe’s hair.”
“Pat Sharpe had a mullet.”
Another shrug, “He was nice back then. I suppose you fancied the twin girls that helped him out.” Dom grinned and lent forwards to switch on the radio. “Merry Christmas Everyone” was playing. Again. Billy changed stations.
“Is this all they’re playing now?!” He cried as “Mistletoe and Wine” filled the car.
Dom picked up some of the tinsel he’d thrown on the dashboard before they’d set off from Manchester (much to Billy’s annoyance) and started fiddling with it. “It’s not Christmas without a Cliff Richard song.”
Billy groaned silently and wound down his window. A gust of cold mist and even colder rain blasted in, mixing with the warm heater air. Staring out at the standstill of traffic around them, he thought about how everyone was just trying to get somewhere for tomorrow. Presents had to be given, family and friends visited.
“I can’t believe we’re stuck on the M6 on fucking Christmas Eve.”
Dom glanced over at him, “We’ll be out of here soon, they’ll have the accident cleared up soon. It’s been over an hour.”
The ‘accident’ he referred to was a Sainsbury’s lorry’s rush delivery of turkeys falling out the back and spilling all over the motorway. The policeman that had come down and tapped on every window had informed them they’d be moving again in not time. That had been over an hour and twenty minutes ago.
Billy wound his window back up. “How long can picking up a few bloody turkeys seriously take?! We’re never going to be in Glasgow by seven.”
Dom reached out and grabbed his hand. “It’s okay! It doesn’t matter!”
“We should’ve left your parents house earlier. I told you that noon was too late.” Billy pulled his hand away.
“It’s not my fault my mum told the whole family to come round before we left. I don’t get to see them all that often, if you hadn’t realised.”
Billy stared straight ahead. “Neither do I, if you hadn’t realised. That’s why I’d actually like to see them before New Years arrives.”
Dom put his head against the cold window. That kid was waving again, but he ignored him. He could hear Billy swearing under his breath.
Suddenly, Dom didn’t feel so Christmassy anymore either.
***************
Billy didn’t want to look at Dom. He was trying to avoid glancing over at him because he knew that Dom would just burst out laughing. Risking a glance, hoping Dom was looking the other way, Billy glimpsed over at him from the corner of his eye
Dom was staring straight at him, his face almost purple and his hand smothering his sniggers. Uncontrollably, he burst in to a fit of giggles. Billy tried to keep a straight face. He tried to look angry. That’s what he was – pissed off. There was nothing that was going to make him laugh.
“So… I guess you won’t want to be eating turkey tomorrow then,” Dom said in-between laughs.
Billy couldn’t help but laugh. He thought how nice it was, the two of them laughing again in a car covered in smashed up turkey.
“I can’t believe that the bloody lorry burst its turkeys all over the motorway again right as we came up behind it.”
Billy smiled, pressing the button to squirt water at the window screen. Raw chunks of turkey slid slowly down the glass.
Dom grimaced, glancing out at the service station whose parking space they’d were currently occupying. “Can we go and get a nice, big, greasy service station style all-day English breakfast now, please?”
***************
“Shit! Shit, shit, fucking, bloody wanker!”
Dom raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think it will disappear, however hard you kick it or however many toes you break.”
Billy turned away from the car, head in his hands. “Fuck.”
Dom stared down at the bright yellow clamp fastened tightly around the front wheel. “Y’know, we should’ve just flown up.”
Billy sighed. “We’re never going to get up there until tomorrow. This is exactly how I thought this day would pan out. We should’ve left… what the hell are you doing?”
Dom was crouched down, looking under the car. He stood up, brushing off his jeans and said, “You bloody idiot! You parked on a crossed off space,” He threw his arms out. “All these spaces and you go and park in the only one that you’re not supposed to!”
Billy frowned, looked under the car and offered a weak smile. “It was the turkey! I couldn’t see properly!”
Dom grinned, hitting his arm. “Wanker. Now can we get in the car before I die of hypothermia, please?”
***************
The heater was on full blast in the car as daylight hit, but Billy and Dom didn’t really notice.
“I feel like such a teenage slag, shagging my boyfriend in the back seat of a car hoping nobody will notice.”
“Don’t forget the bit about it being while parked in a service station. “Dom replied, a smile playing on his lips.
“In a car covered with turkey.” Billy added.
Dom laughed, “Do you think your family will believe our excuse for being late?”
Billy shrugged, “It doesn’t matter anymore. I wanted to spend Christmas with you, and I am doing, so that’s all the matters.”
Dom leaned over, meeting his lips in a kiss, “Merry Christmas.”
***************
and this spells The End of Kirsty's Christmas ficlet treat! :D If anybody was curious to how the Funhouse theme tune goes, you can find out here by scrolling to the bottom and clicking on the 274k bit under 'Funhouse (Opening)'.
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Tara
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Merry Christmas! :)
~Kirsty
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priceless line :)!
*hums the funhouse theme tune*
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I had to include the Funhouse theme tune, me and my friends are always singing it, lol :)
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<--- iggerant USer, but appreciates just the same
and i'm proud of myself cuz i know what the M6 is b/c i listen to internet uk radio
*boogies*
sorry, the fic, right....
funny, sexy.... perfect combo for these two
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~Kirsty
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But it's great too, I love it! :)