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fellowshippers2003-12-19 04:13 pm
rocketts-chica.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2003-12-19 04:13 pm
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Title: The Journey Doesn't End Here
Author: Sarah (fillemagique@aol.com)
Pairing: VM/OB
Rating: R
Length: 1,877 words
For:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
little_unwell...just because. ;-)
Disclaimer: I only wish it were true. Alas, it is not. Just lies upon lies upon lies.
Summary: Viggo and Orlando and what happens when everything comes to an end.
Crossposted to several places...sorry if you see it more than once.
Orlando stood silently on the front steps of Viggo’s home, hands deep in the pockets of his worn jeans. His brown curls fell haphazardly in front of his eyes as he stared at his feet, unable to look up. Certainly unable to knock on the door. The dark, starless night fit his mood perfectly. As did the chilly December air. He had never expected it to come to this, to be this unsure of himself now that things were ending.
“How long do you plan on just standing there?” Viggo asked as he opened the door, peering at Orlando through the screen. Truth be told, he’d been watching the younger man from the window for the last ten minutes. Viggo had finally come to the conclusion that Orlando was never going to knock. And it was absurd for him to just stand there. There wasn’t a doubt in Viggo’s mind as to why he was there. “You could have knocked, you know.”
“Wasn’t sure if I should,” Orlando replied, the shiver that ran down his spine having absolutely nothing to do with the cold. He felt more than a little pathetic, unable to even look Viggo in the eye. Viggo, the one constant Orlando had allowed himself through the entire, crazy journey.
“Don’t be silly.” And with a steady hand, Viggo opened the screen and brushed the hair from in front of Orlando’s face. Now he would have to look at him. “Come in.”
Hesitantly, Orlando’s deep brown stare met Viggo’s. He wondered if he looked as much like a lost puppy as he felt. “Vig...”
“Just come in, Orlando,” Viggo repeated, stepping aside.
Orlando shook his head and glanced back down, fidgeting slightly. “I can’t.”
“Why on earth not?” he questioned, annoyance clear in his voice.
For the first time, Orlando looked at Viggo fully, not allowing his gaze to waver. “I don’t want it to be the last time you invite me in.” He swallowed hard around the lump in his throat but managed not to avert his eyes. “Does that sound as insane as I think it does?”
Viggo sighed and stepped out of his home, the screen door closing with a sharp bang. “Come on,” he said, taking Orlando by the arm and leading him off the front porch and out into the expanse of yard that made up most of his property. The actual dwelling place had never been that important to Viggo. What mattered was how much nature he could surround himself with. Even he was sometimes surprised at how, just miles away from Hollywood, he had managed to create this little piece of open country. The two men walked in silence, hands dangling dangerously close to one another, until Viggo felt they were in an appropriate place to stop...under the branches of an old weeping willow, near enough to the river that ran along the back of his property that they could hear it gurgling along in the distance. Viggo sat down, leaning against the trunk of the tree, feeling it’s energy. He closed his eyes. “We both knew it would come to this sooner or later.”
“Did we?” Orlando responded sadly, not able to bring himself to sit down. “I never imagined it would be like this.”
“That’s only because you’ve never been good at recognizing the truth. Everything ends, Orlando. Why would this be any different?”
Orlando couldn’t think of a decent, thoughtful reply. So he remained quiet. Viggo always managed to make him feel far less intelligent than he really was. He knew that was not Viggo’s intent, had never been Viggo’s intent, but it was, nonetheless, the result. Finally, resigning himself to always be at an utter loss for words, Orlando knelt down in the grass beneath the tree. “Why are you doing this?”
The question more than surprised Viggo. His eyes shot open and his brows crinkled together in consternation. Until that moment, he had been alright with the decisions he’d made. And he could have stayed alright with them. But he had never expected Orlando to question his judgment. Never expected to have to defend his actions. Mostly because he knew, deep down, that he never could. It took a moment before Viggo could speak and he tried desperately not to stare at the beauty just in front of him. “It’s for the best. With the films over...all the new opportunities you’re being given...it’s what you need.”
“No,” Orlando shook his head, his voice soft and strangled. “You’re wrong, Viggo. For once in all of this, I know that you’re wrong. What I need is you.”
In spite of his best efforts, Viggo reached out and trailed the back of his hand down the side of Orlando’s face. “Maybe in the beginning you needed me. Or maybe not even then. Who’s to say?” He bit his lip and cursed beneath his breath for his sudden loss of strength and sureness. “You’ve always been your own man. And now, finally, everyone else is beginning to see that. You don’t need me. You don’t need anyone, Orlando. You’re bigger than all of this.”
“What are you even talking about?” Orlando cried out, no longer caring if he sounded tortured or not. He certainly felt it. “How can you say, after everything, that I don’t need you? That I don’t need this?” He grabbed hold of Viggo’s hand and squeezed it tightly. “This is the only thing that’s gotten me through. You can’t honestly look at me and say that you don’t know that.”
“You’re making this harder than it needs to be,” Viggo replied, pulling his hand from Orlando’s grip and looking up at the bowing branches that hung overhead. He could just barely make out the twinkling stars through the leaves. He tried desperately to reorient his senses. Anything to keep his mind from the terrible thing he knew he was doing. But it had to be done. Because he loved him and wanted him to flourish and be what he knew he could be. Viggo had no other choice. “Think about all that lies ahead for you, Orlando. All that you’ve already accomplished. You can’t stay here in this place forever. It was what it was but now it’s done. This doesn’t have to hurt.”
“It’s too late to talk about it not hurting, Vig. Do you think that I look at you and see only memories? I don’t want to stay in this place. I just want to stay with you. All my accomplishments mean nothing if I don’t have someone to share them with.”
“So find someone,” Viggo shrugged, plastering a smirk on his lips. “Someone who wants to go to all these new places with you. I can’t give you that.”
Orlando stood up and turned his back on Viggo. “Damn you and your stubborn pride! You know more about exploring new places than anyone else I’ve ever met. I’d follow you absolutely anywhere.” He glanced over his shoulder with a pained expression. “Why are you so afraid of that?”
“I’m not afraid,” he said, remaining calm as he stood up as well, brushing at the nothing that lay on the front of his jeans. “At least not for me. I told you, I’m doing this for you. I’ll only hold you back, Orlando. You deserve more than that.”
Orlando turned around and took two quick steps, grabbing Viggo’s’ face between both of his hands. He moved until his lips were just inches away from his, able to feel their breath intermingling. “I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me.”
“Don’t do this,” Viggo demanded, though he didn’t step back even an inch.
“I came here tonight terrified that you would say you never wanted to see me again. I worked out in my head all the possible things you could tell me. About how now that the films were over we had to be over too. About how we aren’t right for each other and the two of us being together has just been the both of us clinging to the last shreds of New Zealand we still feel. But you haven’t said those things, Viggo. You haven’t said anything to convince me that you’re right about all this. Because you can’t. I see it in your eyes. You don’t want this to end any more than I do.”
“But it has to,” he told him, clinging to any thread of integrity he could find. God, how Orlando could bring him to his knees so easily. He doubted the younger man even knew he could do it. “We’ll never see each other. You’ll go back to London and I’ll...” he paused, licked at his lips, tried to deny the heat he felt emanating from between them. “We have no reason to keep this up.”
“I love you, Viggo. That’s reason enough.”
Shocked to his very bones, Viggo finally pulled back and stepped away. He’d confessed his love to Orlando in so many ways at so many different times. And Orlando had always been the one to smile and nod and laugh and say he knew that. But he had never, not once in the all the years that the journey had encompassed, had he ever said it in return. Orlando was too free-spirited. More so even than Viggo sometimes. He had no reason to utter those three words that always led to some sort of commitment and a messy end. Viggo had grown accustomed to that. But that had also been why he knew he had to let him go. He could no longer play this game with Orlando and he had always known that Orlando didn’t want more. And yet now, suddenly, here he was throwing that entire plan into a tailspin. “What did you say?” Viggo asked weakly.
“I love you,” Orlando repeated, smiling wistfully. “You’ve always known it and so have I. I’m a stupid fool for not saying it earlier. Being with you is the most amazing feeling I’ve ever had. And every time I’m without, all I can think of is when I can come back. This isn’t about New Zealand or the silly games we played while we were there. This isn’t about any sort of game anymore, Vig. It hasn’t been for ages now. I’m in love with you. And I refuse to let you push me aside just because you think that I’m not.”
It was Viggo, this time, who pulled Orlando into his arms. Their lips crashed down on each other as hands and legs and souls tangled together in a dance they had all but perfected. When it was over, hours later, and the two lay together in Viggo’s bed, Viggo turned to his side and cupped Orlando’s cheek with the palm of his hand. “You can still leave, you know. You can still walk out of here and let The Trilogy and you and I and this entire journey be just one great memory. I won’t stop you. I never have before.”
Orlando smiled, staring up at him through hooded eyes. “There are still pages left to be written,” he said, knowing that Viggo would recognize the reference. “The journey doesn’t end here.”
Author: Sarah (fillemagique@aol.com)
Pairing: VM/OB
Rating: R
Length: 1,877 words
For:
little_unwell...just because. ;-)Disclaimer: I only wish it were true. Alas, it is not. Just lies upon lies upon lies.
Summary: Viggo and Orlando and what happens when everything comes to an end.
Crossposted to several places...sorry if you see it more than once.
Orlando stood silently on the front steps of Viggo’s home, hands deep in the pockets of his worn jeans. His brown curls fell haphazardly in front of his eyes as he stared at his feet, unable to look up. Certainly unable to knock on the door. The dark, starless night fit his mood perfectly. As did the chilly December air. He had never expected it to come to this, to be this unsure of himself now that things were ending.
“How long do you plan on just standing there?” Viggo asked as he opened the door, peering at Orlando through the screen. Truth be told, he’d been watching the younger man from the window for the last ten minutes. Viggo had finally come to the conclusion that Orlando was never going to knock. And it was absurd for him to just stand there. There wasn’t a doubt in Viggo’s mind as to why he was there. “You could have knocked, you know.”
“Wasn’t sure if I should,” Orlando replied, the shiver that ran down his spine having absolutely nothing to do with the cold. He felt more than a little pathetic, unable to even look Viggo in the eye. Viggo, the one constant Orlando had allowed himself through the entire, crazy journey.
“Don’t be silly.” And with a steady hand, Viggo opened the screen and brushed the hair from in front of Orlando’s face. Now he would have to look at him. “Come in.”
Hesitantly, Orlando’s deep brown stare met Viggo’s. He wondered if he looked as much like a lost puppy as he felt. “Vig...”
“Just come in, Orlando,” Viggo repeated, stepping aside.
Orlando shook his head and glanced back down, fidgeting slightly. “I can’t.”
“Why on earth not?” he questioned, annoyance clear in his voice.
For the first time, Orlando looked at Viggo fully, not allowing his gaze to waver. “I don’t want it to be the last time you invite me in.” He swallowed hard around the lump in his throat but managed not to avert his eyes. “Does that sound as insane as I think it does?”
Viggo sighed and stepped out of his home, the screen door closing with a sharp bang. “Come on,” he said, taking Orlando by the arm and leading him off the front porch and out into the expanse of yard that made up most of his property. The actual dwelling place had never been that important to Viggo. What mattered was how much nature he could surround himself with. Even he was sometimes surprised at how, just miles away from Hollywood, he had managed to create this little piece of open country. The two men walked in silence, hands dangling dangerously close to one another, until Viggo felt they were in an appropriate place to stop...under the branches of an old weeping willow, near enough to the river that ran along the back of his property that they could hear it gurgling along in the distance. Viggo sat down, leaning against the trunk of the tree, feeling it’s energy. He closed his eyes. “We both knew it would come to this sooner or later.”
“Did we?” Orlando responded sadly, not able to bring himself to sit down. “I never imagined it would be like this.”
“That’s only because you’ve never been good at recognizing the truth. Everything ends, Orlando. Why would this be any different?”
Orlando couldn’t think of a decent, thoughtful reply. So he remained quiet. Viggo always managed to make him feel far less intelligent than he really was. He knew that was not Viggo’s intent, had never been Viggo’s intent, but it was, nonetheless, the result. Finally, resigning himself to always be at an utter loss for words, Orlando knelt down in the grass beneath the tree. “Why are you doing this?”
The question more than surprised Viggo. His eyes shot open and his brows crinkled together in consternation. Until that moment, he had been alright with the decisions he’d made. And he could have stayed alright with them. But he had never expected Orlando to question his judgment. Never expected to have to defend his actions. Mostly because he knew, deep down, that he never could. It took a moment before Viggo could speak and he tried desperately not to stare at the beauty just in front of him. “It’s for the best. With the films over...all the new opportunities you’re being given...it’s what you need.”
“No,” Orlando shook his head, his voice soft and strangled. “You’re wrong, Viggo. For once in all of this, I know that you’re wrong. What I need is you.”
In spite of his best efforts, Viggo reached out and trailed the back of his hand down the side of Orlando’s face. “Maybe in the beginning you needed me. Or maybe not even then. Who’s to say?” He bit his lip and cursed beneath his breath for his sudden loss of strength and sureness. “You’ve always been your own man. And now, finally, everyone else is beginning to see that. You don’t need me. You don’t need anyone, Orlando. You’re bigger than all of this.”
“What are you even talking about?” Orlando cried out, no longer caring if he sounded tortured or not. He certainly felt it. “How can you say, after everything, that I don’t need you? That I don’t need this?” He grabbed hold of Viggo’s hand and squeezed it tightly. “This is the only thing that’s gotten me through. You can’t honestly look at me and say that you don’t know that.”
“You’re making this harder than it needs to be,” Viggo replied, pulling his hand from Orlando’s grip and looking up at the bowing branches that hung overhead. He could just barely make out the twinkling stars through the leaves. He tried desperately to reorient his senses. Anything to keep his mind from the terrible thing he knew he was doing. But it had to be done. Because he loved him and wanted him to flourish and be what he knew he could be. Viggo had no other choice. “Think about all that lies ahead for you, Orlando. All that you’ve already accomplished. You can’t stay here in this place forever. It was what it was but now it’s done. This doesn’t have to hurt.”
“It’s too late to talk about it not hurting, Vig. Do you think that I look at you and see only memories? I don’t want to stay in this place. I just want to stay with you. All my accomplishments mean nothing if I don’t have someone to share them with.”
“So find someone,” Viggo shrugged, plastering a smirk on his lips. “Someone who wants to go to all these new places with you. I can’t give you that.”
Orlando stood up and turned his back on Viggo. “Damn you and your stubborn pride! You know more about exploring new places than anyone else I’ve ever met. I’d follow you absolutely anywhere.” He glanced over his shoulder with a pained expression. “Why are you so afraid of that?”
“I’m not afraid,” he said, remaining calm as he stood up as well, brushing at the nothing that lay on the front of his jeans. “At least not for me. I told you, I’m doing this for you. I’ll only hold you back, Orlando. You deserve more than that.”
Orlando turned around and took two quick steps, grabbing Viggo’s’ face between both of his hands. He moved until his lips were just inches away from his, able to feel their breath intermingling. “I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me.”
“Don’t do this,” Viggo demanded, though he didn’t step back even an inch.
“I came here tonight terrified that you would say you never wanted to see me again. I worked out in my head all the possible things you could tell me. About how now that the films were over we had to be over too. About how we aren’t right for each other and the two of us being together has just been the both of us clinging to the last shreds of New Zealand we still feel. But you haven’t said those things, Viggo. You haven’t said anything to convince me that you’re right about all this. Because you can’t. I see it in your eyes. You don’t want this to end any more than I do.”
“But it has to,” he told him, clinging to any thread of integrity he could find. God, how Orlando could bring him to his knees so easily. He doubted the younger man even knew he could do it. “We’ll never see each other. You’ll go back to London and I’ll...” he paused, licked at his lips, tried to deny the heat he felt emanating from between them. “We have no reason to keep this up.”
“I love you, Viggo. That’s reason enough.”
Shocked to his very bones, Viggo finally pulled back and stepped away. He’d confessed his love to Orlando in so many ways at so many different times. And Orlando had always been the one to smile and nod and laugh and say he knew that. But he had never, not once in the all the years that the journey had encompassed, had he ever said it in return. Orlando was too free-spirited. More so even than Viggo sometimes. He had no reason to utter those three words that always led to some sort of commitment and a messy end. Viggo had grown accustomed to that. But that had also been why he knew he had to let him go. He could no longer play this game with Orlando and he had always known that Orlando didn’t want more. And yet now, suddenly, here he was throwing that entire plan into a tailspin. “What did you say?” Viggo asked weakly.
“I love you,” Orlando repeated, smiling wistfully. “You’ve always known it and so have I. I’m a stupid fool for not saying it earlier. Being with you is the most amazing feeling I’ve ever had. And every time I’m without, all I can think of is when I can come back. This isn’t about New Zealand or the silly games we played while we were there. This isn’t about any sort of game anymore, Vig. It hasn’t been for ages now. I’m in love with you. And I refuse to let you push me aside just because you think that I’m not.”
It was Viggo, this time, who pulled Orlando into his arms. Their lips crashed down on each other as hands and legs and souls tangled together in a dance they had all but perfected. When it was over, hours later, and the two lay together in Viggo’s bed, Viggo turned to his side and cupped Orlando’s cheek with the palm of his hand. “You can still leave, you know. You can still walk out of here and let The Trilogy and you and I and this entire journey be just one great memory. I won’t stop you. I never have before.”
Orlando smiled, staring up at him through hooded eyes. “There are still pages left to be written,” he said, knowing that Viggo would recognize the reference. “The journey doesn’t end here.”
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I love that reference to the movie...such a wonderful story...and viggo was still willing to let him go...so beautiful...:)
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Most people muck up scenes like this, make them too sappy and blah. But you've done it perfect. <3
Love the book reference at the end.
*sighs*
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I adore you. Thank you SO much, sweetling! How did you know this is the very thing I needed? *doesn't deserve you*
I can't say thank you enough. God ... it was beautiful.
*sigh*
truly, you know. *nods* you know.
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At the moment, it just seemed right. I knew it had to be written and I knew it had to be for you. A gift to the only one who understands sometimes.
*hugs and loves*