Fic- A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Librairie (86/100)

[v-angelique.livejournal.com]

Title: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Librairie (86/100)
Authors: v_angelique and rainbowcobweb
Pairing: Monaboyd
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Big fat fiction.
Feedback: Appreciated.
Summary: Billy and Dom go on the river cruise Dom got for Billy.


"Oh, Billy!" Dom exclaimed as they walked through the river cruise boat, where numerous tables were set up in the large cabin with white tablecloths and long-stemmed red roses in crystal vases, the string quartet already starting to play as the diners boarded. "It's so romantic!" he squealed, clapping his hands together. It was a bit chilly still on the deck, but the dining room featured large windows so that it was easy to watch the sun set in the comfort of the heated cabin.

"It's lovely, yes," Billy agreed, looking around. "Thank you, Dommeh."

"It really is my pleasure," Dom replied, reaching back to catch hold of Billy's hand and squeeze it gently. "You deserve nice things like this."

"Well you give me lots of nice things," Billy reasoned. "But it is fun to have a romantic evening out, isn't it?"

Before Dom could answer, a maitre d' approached them and took their name, leading them to a table just as the boat started to move from where it was moored. He took their drink orders and informed them that starters would be served in fifteen minutes.

"I like eating out with you," Dom said, cocking his head to the side and running his fingers over the palms of Billy's hands. "It's nice to have a chat and be together in public, isn't it?" He smiled and brought Billy's wrist to his lips and kissed it, ignoring everyone around them in favour of gazing at Billy around the flowers on their table.

"It is," Billy agreed, smiling and stroking Dom's cheek lightly with his fingertips. "And it should be some small personal victory for you that I can honestly say that, now."

Dom grinned and linked their fingers together, sighing happily. "I love you so much," he said, blinking slowly. "I honestly wouldn't have you any other way."

"Thank you," Billy replied sincerely, smiling and squeezing Dom's hand. "The same applies."

"Good," Dom replied, smirking as he looked Billy up-and-down. "You look very handsome in your suit, you know, Bill," he added, letting his eyes linger on Billy's wrists and neck.

"You like it?" Billy asked, a little naughty twinkle in his eye as he managed to get one shoe off under the table and run his foot up Dom's calf.

"God, you know I like it," Dom said with a little groan, absolutely in awe of the fact that Billy was okay to do things like this, now. "Love your suits, Bill."

"Yours too. You're quite fetching in a suit. Quite... dapper."

Dom ignored Billy's comment and leant forward, smirking. "Dare you to go higher," he said, nodding down at his leg, which Billy's foot was absent-mindedly caressing.

Billy just smiled, meeting Dom's eyes straight on and straightening his knee a bit more, letting his ankle trail up to the inside of Dom's knee.

"That's crap." Dom stared right back at Billy and grinned. "Only you could get off from stimulation to the backs of your knees. Not that I'm suggesting you get me off, mind, I'd rather save that for later."

"Arse," Billy muttered, dropping his foot entirely as a waiter brought their drinks.

"Merci beaucoup," Dom said with a gracious nod as he took their drinks off the waiter and handed the scotch to Billy. "You know, I think we bring the average age in here down by about a hundred," he commented with a smile and a little wave of his hand at the rest of the clientele.

"So we're old codgers," Billy said with s shrug, sipping at his scotch. "I can learn to live with that if you can."

"You're not the one who booked the outing, my love. I must have the brain of a ninety-six year old or something." Dom laughed softly and kicked off his own shoe, stretching his foot out and resting the flat of it against Billy's crotch immediately. "See now, this is how you do it," he said, squeezing slightly with his toes.

"You little devil," Billy murmured appreciatively.

"You know you love it," Dom replied with a wink, moving his foot from side to side and then up and down.

"Of course I do," Billy agreed. "Oh, listen to this one," he said suddenly as the quartet switched songs. "I love this one."

"I have my foot on your cock and you're still thinking about classical music? I'm really not doing this right, am I?" Dom rolled his eyes and sipped his wine, licking his finger to get rid of a little bit of spillage. "What's it called?"

"Classical music can be very sexy," Billy argued. "I'm pretty sure the aural sense is second most strongly linked to orgasms, behind the olfactory, strangely. Visual only comes in third, and taste a distant fourth, though I'm sure whoever came up with that statistic has never tasted your come," Billy murmured, leaning halfway across the table so as not to be overheard. "So trust me, I'm paying attention to your foot, lad. It's Bach's Partita #2 in D Minor."

"Oh, fuck," Dom whispered, looking for all the world as though someone had shoved a pineapple up his arse as he stared down at the table. "That's, uh...an interesting piece of information, that."

"Isn't it, though?" Billy replied, thoroughly pleased with himself. "You learn all kinds of nifty things when you read."

"Yeah, I know you do," Dom mumbled, his brain still somewhere just outside his head. "You know it's really sexy when you do that? You could make calculus sound hot."

"Ach, no," Billy disagreed. "Music is about fourteen thousand times sexier than calculus. I never was very good with maths."

"And yet you manage to run a shop with impressive ability," Dom said with a little smile, removing his foot as his leg had begun to stiffen. "Are you going to sing at our wedding? For me? To me?"

"Would you like me to?" Billy asked, smiling as he reached under the table and scooted forward so that he could gently massage Dom's thigh.

"Christ, I'd love you to," Dom said with a big grin, his heart fluttering at the very idea. And Billy's hand, of course, which felt very nice rubbing over his leg muscles.

"Then I will," Billy replied. "Though I'm not much for singing in public, I suppose I can manage for this."

"Eeeeep!" Dom exclaimed, clapping his hands much as he had done when they'd stepped onto the boat. "You're the best fiancé ever, you know that?" he asked, grabbing Billy by his tie and pulling him across the table for a kiss.

"Well I'm the only one you've ever had, so you're not exactly an expert on the subject," Billy teased once Dom had finished kissing him. Out of the corner of his eyes, he noticed a couple who looked about ninety seven looking at them and grinning.

"What?" Dom asked with a little smile, glancing over to where Billy was looking and blushing as he saw the elderly couple. He waved and then took Billy's hand again, tangling their legs together under the table.

Billy laughed and shook his head as the waiter returned with a tray of several starters to sample, including a little bowl of warm crab dip with toast points, some lobster filled choux pastries, miniature chicken and tomato quiches, and salted snow peas.

"Oooooh!" Dom said, pressing his fingers to his mouth. "I think I might try these thingies-" he picked up a couple of quiches, "and these thingies. Very nice. Merci."

Billy laughed and grabbed a toast point, dipping it in crab and having a bite. "Mm. This is fucking divine, lad, you should try it. Camembert I think, and nutmeg."

"You got your mouthful?" Dom asked, and Billy nodded. "Good." Grinning madly, Dom surged forward and pressed his lips to Billy's again, working his way in between Billy's lips with his tongue and then stealing the toast directly out of Billy's mouth. Luckily, it was a fresh mouthful and hadn't been chewed, as that would be rather disgusting.

"Okay now you're just weird," Billy mumbled once he'd swallowed what was still in his mouth.

"Oh, because you had no idea about this before you asked me to spend the rest of my life with you..."

"Point."

"I love being right," Dom said with a shit-eating grin, leaning back in his chair and sipping his wine.

"And lucky for you, I'm happy to let you be," Billy replied with a little smile, moving on to a pastry.

"Oh, good," Dom said, eating one of the little quiches and nodding his approval. "Will you teach me to cook again one day soon? I want to learn how to make bigger portions and stuff. I'm not very good at managing lots of things at once, see, and if we're going to have a family..."

"Of course," Billy replied with a grin. "I'll teach you how to make things that children like, too. Picky children anyway. I wasn't picky at all," he said proudly.

"We're not going to have picky children, either," Dom decided with a nod. "Well, children that won't try new things anyway." He smiled and then squeezed Billy's hand, a sudden rush of joy coursing through him, causing him to make the squinchyface. "We're going to have children, Billy!"

"We are," Billy agreed with a smile at Dom's expression. "Clever, brilliant, wonderful children who will eat lots of things. Well, maybe if we adopt they won't necessarily be clever, but that's okay, because we'll love them however they are, and you can teach them things."

"I can," Dom said, nodding enthusiastically and grinning madly at the same time. "What if...what if there's a disabled child who needs a home? Like, say if they were blind or deaf or something. Would we be able to take care of them, do you think?"

"I think we'd probably need to make special arrangements," Billy pointed out. "I'd imagine you have to do things to your flat to make it easier, and we'd have to learn a lot, but aye, we could do it. You're good with Ben."

Dom positively lit up at that and rested his forehead against his and Billy's hands, which were joined together on the table. "We could do it, couldn't we? I mean, that'd be absolutely amazing. And with us being gay and everything, no matter that we're going to make brilliant parents, we're not going to be given much choice over who we get to adopt, are we?"

"If any," Billy agreed. "I have heard that gay parents often kind of get the bottom of the barrel, because they don't really care as long as they have someone, you know?"

"In that case, the people you heard from are right. I mean, whatever the kid behaves like or how many disabilities he or she's got, it's not going to matter to us, is it? I know that it's all horribly discriminatory and unfair, but still. I don't really care, no."

"If it's our child, your child and my child, I don't care what the fuck is wrong with him or her," Billy agreed.

"Well that's...that's just perfect, isn't it?" Dom asked, fisting a hand in his hair in excitement.

Billy smiled and bit down on a snow pea. "Just about."

~*~

"What's this one called?" Dom asked as Billy led him out onto the dance floor to join the other couples, who were all just about managing to shuffle round in time with the music. He was rather hoping that he and Billy could show off by knowing how to waltz, which would obviously impress the old people.

"Brahms. Cello Sonata #1 in E, I think. But don't quote me on that," Billy warned as he and Dom took up a standard dancing position and started moving around the floor, weaving in between the fairly stationary couples.

"I won't," Dom replied with a smile, resting his head on Billy's shoulder as they danced slowly.

"Good boy."

For a few minutes, Dom and Billy twirled around the space, until the quartet paused to change their music.

"Excuse me?" a little old lady spoke up from behind Billy, reaching up to tap him on the shoulder.

"Yes, ma'am?" Billy turned and looked down at her, which was a novelty for him.

"I just wanted to tell you boys that you're lovely," she explained in a South African accent. "And wonderful dancers."

"Thank you," Dom said with a little blush, burying his nose in Billy's suit jacket. "We're getting married," he confided in a little whisper, making sure his engagement ring was visible.

"How exciting!" she exclaimed, showing him her own wedding ring. "My Werner and I have been married fifty years today."

"Congratulations!" Dom replied, looking at the ring and then beaming. "We're actually getting married on what would have been Bill's mum and dad's fiftieth wedding anniversary. April the fifteenth."

"Your parents have passed away, dear?"

"Aye," Billy replied. "When I was a teenager."

"Oh, that's horrible," she cooed with a frown. "I'm sure they're happy that you're getting married, though, wherever they are."

"I hope so," he said with a little smile, giving Dom's waist a squeeze.

"I'm sure they are, love," Dom said, squeezing Billy's waist.

"Well, boys, best of luck with the wedding. I don't suppose you're to be wed in South Africa, hm?"

"No, no," Dom replied with a little laugh, snuggling closer into Billy's warmth, "Belgium."

"Ah, well Belgium's nice as well," the woman conceded with a smile. "Enjoy your evening."

"You too, ma'am," Billy replied as she returned to her husband, leading Dom into a dance again. "She was nice."

"She was," Dom agreed with a little grin, pressing right up against Billy. "Reminds me of nana, actually."

"She does a little. Will be good to see your family again," Billy replied as he adjusted his position for Dom's closeness, wrapping his arm around Dom's waist as Dom's went around his neck.

"Yeah," Dom agreed, sighing happily. "This is lovely," he said, kissing the side of Billy's neck. "It's just...yeah."

"It is," Billy agreed. "Should go out dancing with you more often."

Dom giggled. "I think we do enough dancing at home, to be fair, love," he said, resting his chin on Billy's shoulder and looking at the rest of the couples. "I hope we still go dancing when we're as old as this lot, though."

"Oh, we will," Billy promised. "I'll be sure of that. You'll just have to remind me to put my teeth in," he teased.

Again, Dom laughed and shook his head. "You're a sweetheart," he said with a fond roll of his eyes. "I'm getting grey hair, Bill. I'm old."

"I've had grey hair for at least three or four years. Don't encourage me."

"Encourage you to do what?" Dom asked with a cheeky grin, pulling the lobe of Billy's ear in between his lips.

"Complain about my age," Billy replied, smiling at Dom's actions. "You can encourage me like that as much as you want."

"No problem, in that case," Dom said, running the tip of his nose over Billy's jaw and cheekbone, pressing little kisses along the way as they moved together slowly. "You know that sex we had after we'd been fighting the other day?" Billy nodded. "I think that was quite possibly some of the best sex we've ever had."

"It most certainly was in my opinion," Billy agreed, "but I wouldn't think you would be so enthusiastic, seeing as you had to wait till the end of my nap to fuck me," he teased. "Though you did feel very nice inside me when you woke me up."

Dom smirked and pressed his rapidly hardening cock against Billy's own. "Felt rather nice for me, as well," he breathed, nipping the soft skin just behind Billy's ear.

"Well all right then," Billy murmured. "You do realise you're getting a hard-on in the middle of a boat full of people your grandmother's age?"

"Mmm, yeah," Dom groaned with a big smile on his face, continuing to nuzzle into Billy's neck. "Not my fault you're so fucking sexy, Boyd."

"You naughty little trollop," Billy whispered. "You know we're returning soon, and then I'm going to be very tempted to find the nearest place I can safely fuck you that isn't our flat."

"Christ, really?" Dom whispered, his throat completely dry.

"Oh aye," Billy agreed, rubbing Dom's back lightly through his jacket. "Have any suggestions?"

"No," Dom groaned, closing his eyes, his mind completely blank. "You're going to fuck me in public in your suit, oh Jesus Christ..."

Billy laughed slightly and reached up to stroke Dom's hair, trying to calm him. "Do you need to sit down, lad?"

"No," Dom said immediately, pressing closer, moving his hips in movements that he hoped were subtle. "You feel too good for me to sit down."

"Be good, you," Billy warned. "People are going to start wondering."

"Wonder what?" Dom growled, nipping Billy's jaw. "That we're two young, virile men with an obvious insatiable lust for one another and that as soon as we get off this boat we're going to be fucking like rabbits?"

"Yes, but I'd prefer not to give anyone heart attacks," Billy replied firmly. "Let's go out on the deck," he suggested, tugging Dom by the elbow.

"Ngh," Dom whined, pulling a face, wanting to continue dancing with Billy for the amount of time they had left on board. He allowed himself to be led out onto the deck, the cool breeze whipping around them and the sound of the string quartet playing not all that far away. Dom took one look at the barely-visible stars above his head before he turned to Billy. "I love you, William Boyd," he said clearly, grabbing Billy by the front of his suit jacket and pressing their lips together.

Billy smiled into Dom's lips and let himself be soundly kissed before he pulled away, rubbing their cold noses together. "Love you too, Dominic. Sex soon, I promise. Now we dance," he suggested, and so they waltzed about the deck of the boat, under the stars, completely oblivious to a crowd of elderly ladies watching them through the picture windows.