Beta anyone?

[ocko-okate.livejournal.com]

Hi, would somebody be willing to beta a fic of mine (1700 words, there is Viggo, Karl, Orlando and Sean in it, but not much of a pairing)? It´s a curious little piece that has been bothering me for a longer time and it turned out to be really strange. I´m not an English native speaker and I need somebody to just check my grammar while leaving the sentence construction mostly untouched as long as the sentences do make sense. I could also use a second opinion on the whole idea.
If you´re interested, please comment here. Thank you!