fellowshippers | Lips That Taste of Tears

Lips that Taste of Tears
Author: nc_shy_gurl
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Slight angst
Pairing: Billy/Dom
Beta: The wonderful and amazing dragojustine
Disclaimer: Lies, all lies.
Word count: 1,835
Feedback: Love it!

Inspired by these quotes:

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.
Ingrid Bergman

Lips that taste of tears, they say, are the best for kissing.
Dorothy Parker

***

Billy could only ever remember flashes of what transpired the first time they kissed.

The club was filled with people. The music pounded a rhythm so intoxicating and overpowering that it seemed to flow through Billy’s veins with all the force of a hurricane. Bodies writhed on the dance floor, moving in time with the constant thump of the bass. Scantily clad women pressed themselves against young men, grinding their bodies together with almost primal ferocity; in turn, the young men grabbed at the girls’ waists and hips, aching to increase the friction that sent electric jolts through their systems. At the bar where Billy sat, people lounged atop barstools sipping their mixed drinks and flirting unabashedly with anyone who happened to glance their way. Billy had received more than one napkin bearing a strange woman’s number that night.

But from Billy’s perch at the bar, he had spotted something infinitely more compelling to spy on than the men and women out to find a random fuck for the night. Through the haze of smoke and the ripple of the crowd, he was mesmerized by the phenomenon that was Dom dancing. His head tilted back and his eyes closed, he was submerged in the music. His hips swayed to their own beat in a sinuous motion that left Billy’s mouth dry. As he danced, he absently licked his lips, and the hint of supple pink tongue that peeked out was enough to make Billy gulp down the rest of his drink. Although Dom was surrounded by people, he seemed to be set apart from the crowd. Or maybe that was all just in Billy’s imagination. Either way, Dom put on one hell of a show that Billy couldn’t help but watch.

During one of the breaks in the music, Dom sauntered through the crowd to the bar and motioned for Billy to follow him outside. Once outside they propped themselves against the cool brick wall of the building in a small alleyway. They were side by side, shoulders barely grazing. Both were looking at each other, heads rolled to the side, observing one another in a comfortable silence.

Billy’s eyes were automatically drawn to the sinfully seductive eyeliner smudged beneath Dom’s eyes; it made him look debauched and altogether irresistible. He had known Dom for almost 6 months, but the eyeliner still got to him every time. Just like it was getting to him tonight. Add Dom’s snug crimson tee into the mix and the studded leather cuff around his wrist, and he was the perfect breeding ground for the licentious thoughts Billy’d been trying to shake all night.

The stale smell of cigarettes and beer still clung to their clothing and sweat soaked bodies, even here outside of the club. Dom gave Billy a long, sweeping glance and then with a mischievous grin said, “Sorry to drag you away from your hordes of adoring female fans. I’m sure you’re dying to get back to them all. What with the way they were hovering around you, you’d think you were bloody Brad Pitt.”

“Ah, you’re just jealous because you want to shag me yourself.” The words slipped out of Billy’s mouth sounding more like an offer than a jest. And that’s when it happened.

Dom got a decidedly devilish look in eyes and his lips curled into a deviant smirk. He propelled himself off the wall, placed his hands on either side of Billy’s head, and without warning crushed their lips together.

It was all teeth and tongues, a clashing battle for dominance. Dom’s tongue slid hotly over his, tasting, plundering, taking what he wanted. The passion and longing were almost tangible. Billy stood stunned for what seemed like an eternity but could only have been a couple of moments, then he grabbed a handful of Dom’s hair and fiercely yanked back, causing Dom to lose his edge and lose control of the kiss. He murmured fevered words of lust and desire intensely against Dom’s lips before plunging back into the kiss. This wasn’t a scene for a movie or a publicity stunt; this was real. No cameras, or critics, or crowds to impress. This was life.

He could feel Dom’s hardening cock pressing into him, grinding slow circles against his body and dragging across his denim clad thigh. Desire coursed through Billy’s veins and pooled in between his legs. He thrust his tongue into Dom’s eager mouth; he was intent on finding every spot that made Dom moan just like that. After a thorough examination of Dom’s mouth, Billy finally released Dom and pulled back.

Their lips wrenched apart with an audible smack. Billy could still taste Dom on his tongue. He had a tangy, manly flavor made of mint, beer, and sin. It was completely Dominic and Billy was certain that he would never get enough of it. Sometime during their kiss, Dom’s hands had migrated from the wall of the building to clamp tightly onto his hips. Billy took in Dom’s swollen lips and his eyes darkened with the overpowering effects of want and need and pure, throbbing lust. Both simply stared at each other, but not at a loss for words; what was there left to say? Hadn’t they just said everything without saying anything? So, when Dom tentatively reached for Billy’s hands and pulled him toward the street to call a cab, he followed without question. He watched as Dom slinked into the backseat and beckoned for him to take the seat next to him. He climbed in silently, fully aware of what was to come. After all, they did have some unfinished business to attend to at his flat.

***

That was the first kiss.

This time was nothing like it. Dom wasn’t wearing eyeliner; he had stopped doing that some years ago, along with painting his nails and writing on his hands. Those things had long ago faded into oblivion, as had the long nights spent in New Zealand, bodies writhing, entwined in a hot-blooded dance, searching for a completion that they could only find in each other. Throughout the years they had maintained a an open-ended relationship, meeting only a handful of times a year for the sole purpose of reliving those nights of insatiable desire and, even though Billy was somewhat loath to admit it now, love. Dom had always been more to Billy than just a passing fancy. He often wondered if the other knew that. He hoped that he did, especially now.

This time they were both utterly sober, although Billy thought that a smidge of alcohol might have improved the situation a tiny bit. And they were standing in Dom’s apartment, by the door. There had been no clubbing, wild music, or girls draped on Billy at a bar. It was just the two of them, trapped in their own cataclysmic universe, the universe of Billy’s making. There wasn’t any pulling of hair or clashing of teeth. This consisted of more than just fulfilling base needs; this was about fulfilling themselves through each other.

This kiss was tinged with an undeniable sadness and even a hint of bitterness and regret. The passion and longing were replaced with ardent desperation and an ache of a different kind; Billy could almost taste the unspoken pleas that poured from deep within Dom’s soul. The passion was still present, but it made its appearance as a vague kind of hunger that ate away at what was left of their spirits.

This kiss was timelessly slow, unhurried to the point of lingering. Dom’s tongue caressed and stroked through Billy’s open, waiting lips in way that almost made Billy regret his decision. Dom tasted every crevice and explored a leisurely trail in his mouth, finding all of the places that he knew from experience would make Billy moan. These were the kinds of kisses that had kept Billy coming back to Dom long after he had realized that he needed to end this. He could taste the tears on Dom’s lips. It was like nothing they had ever experienced before. Gone was the urge to rush to completion; gone was the almost animalistic craving to rip off all of their clothes and succumb to the lust that lit fires deep within their bodies. It was as if Dom were trying to drink Billy in, to cling to the last shreds of hope for whatever it was that they had shared.

Billy had come here knowing that his task would be neither pleasant nor painless, but he felt that it would be best done this way. From the moment he had arrived, they had both known what Billy was going to say. He was going to say that they couldn’t continue meeting each other anymore, especially now that he had his son. It had been different when it was just Ali, but now he had a family, a family that needed him more than Dom ever would.

They had both known that it would eventually come to this. There would be tears on both sides, not of regret and sorrow, but the tears that always accompany the bitter passing of something that has reached deep within and touched one’s very core. Something that has altered one’s life. After this, things could never be the same between them again. It wasn’t like the goodbyes in New Zealand or the farewells in Mexico; it was permanent, and had always seemed too final, unendurable, before. They couldn’t go back to how they were. This was the end of everything they had become.

Billy had expected Dom to try to stop him, but he hadn’t expected the pain that stabbed brutally at his heart every time he saw a tear escape from Dom’s eyes. He had expected anger and screaming and fierce protests. He had thought that Dom would put up a fight. He hadn’t expected this gentle release; it was almost as if Dom had been waiting for this moment to come. He was letting their relationship go quietly into that dark night that poets often talked about. It was the sweetest goodbye he had ever known, and he hated it. It wasn’t supposed to end, at least not this way. They were supposed to go down in flames, explode like a supernova, or something equally spectacular. Since when did Billy and Dom go quietly into the night? Billy was still contemplating this when Dom reluctantly broke the kiss. The last kiss that they would ever share. He suddenly felt that the universe had shattered to an end, as if the whole world were hinged on this one, final moment.

Both simply pulled back and stared at each other. No words were needed. When Dom tentatively reached for Billy’s hands to lead him down the hall to his room, Billy conceded and followed him. After all, what could it hurt to let Dom have him, just one last time?

But that had been the same thing he’d said the times before this too.