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stormatdusk.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fellowshippers2007-07-21 01:29 am
stormatdusk.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2007-07-21 01:29 am
Entry tags:
Ficlet: A Matter of Degrees (Bean/Orlando, adult)
title: A Matter of Degrees
author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
stormatdusk
pairing: Sean Bean/Orlando Bloom
word count: 323
rating: tame adult
disclaimer: This is only fiction.
"Podiatrist?"
"No."
"Opthamologist?"
"No."
"Pulmonologist?"
"No. Shite, Orlando, just how much bleedin' thinking have you put into this, anyway?"
"I suppose obstetrician is out."
"No! I mean, yes, it's out! And gynecologist as well, so don't even say it."
"Come on, don't be a wet blanket, Seanie. Work with me here!"
"I just don't get it. I never knew a woman who was into this."
"I am no woman. Ha ha - - get it?"
"Yeah, Eowyn's line; I get it. Never met a bloke who wanted this, either."
"Not much of an argument there, love, since I'm your one and only."
"Orlando, you're sitting on the kitchen table in your underkecks shoving a white coat and a stethoscope at me. I'm thinking psychiatrist might be the right choice."
"Funny. No psychiatrist; I want hands on. Very much on. Now choose something! Otolarynologist?"
"What's that?"
"Ear, nose, and throat."
"No."
"Anesthesiologist?"
"No."
"Proctologist?"
"N - ... uh, wait. You mean, I'd have to have a look at your botty?"
"Oh, much more than a look. See, it's been feeling all sorta... lonely. A bit empty, yeah? S'really been making me nutters."
"Hmm, I see. Mister... Bloom, was it? Why don't you go ahead and finish undressing and we'll begin the exam."
"Yesss! - - er, yes, of course, Dr. Bean. Actually, my bollocks have been bothering me some lately, too. They've got this ache...."
"Oh, that sounds very serious. We'll be sure to check that out, too. Now lean over the table... thaaaaat's it...."
(13 frantic minutes later...)
"That... that were good."
"Not good. Amazing. And I told you so."
"Should've told me last year. Would've managed a way to get there for the degree back then, if I'd known all this."
"So you'll trust me next time?"
"Aye. But Orlando? You do know it's not that kind of 'doctor,' right?"
"Shut it and let's go to bed, Dr. Bean."
- end -
author:
stormatduskpairing: Sean Bean/Orlando Bloom
word count: 323
rating: tame adult
disclaimer: This is only fiction.
"Podiatrist?"
"No."
"Opthamologist?"
"No."
"Pulmonologist?"
"No. Shite, Orlando, just how much bleedin' thinking have you put into this, anyway?"
"I suppose obstetrician is out."
"No! I mean, yes, it's out! And gynecologist as well, so don't even say it."
"Come on, don't be a wet blanket, Seanie. Work with me here!"
"I just don't get it. I never knew a woman who was into this."
"I am no woman. Ha ha - - get it?"
"Yeah, Eowyn's line; I get it. Never met a bloke who wanted this, either."
"Not much of an argument there, love, since I'm your one and only."
"Orlando, you're sitting on the kitchen table in your underkecks shoving a white coat and a stethoscope at me. I'm thinking psychiatrist might be the right choice."
"Funny. No psychiatrist; I want hands on. Very much on. Now choose something! Otolarynologist?"
"What's that?"
"Ear, nose, and throat."
"No."
"Anesthesiologist?"
"No."
"Proctologist?"
"N - ... uh, wait. You mean, I'd have to have a look at your botty?"
"Oh, much more than a look. See, it's been feeling all sorta... lonely. A bit empty, yeah? S'really been making me nutters."
"Hmm, I see. Mister... Bloom, was it? Why don't you go ahead and finish undressing and we'll begin the exam."
"Yesss! - - er, yes, of course, Dr. Bean. Actually, my bollocks have been bothering me some lately, too. They've got this ache...."
"Oh, that sounds very serious. We'll be sure to check that out, too. Now lean over the table... thaaaaat's it...."
(13 frantic minutes later...)
"That... that were good."
"Not good. Amazing. And I told you so."
"Should've told me last year. Would've managed a way to get there for the degree back then, if I'd known all this."
"So you'll trust me next time?"
"Aye. But Orlando? You do know it's not that kind of 'doctor,' right?"
"Shut it and let's go to bed, Dr. Bean."
- end -
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Angie
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Very inventive!!!
*chortle*
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