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fellowshippers2007-04-28 06:15 pm
Those Eyes
Title: Those Eyes
Author: Babyki
Pairing: Billy/Viggo
Rating: R, I think....
Feedback: I would love feedback! I'm new at writing this sort of fiction, be honest but nice!
Disclaimer: No idea what the real motivation behind the kiss was (could be, no?).... I made this up.
Summary: The story behind the kiss that appeared in the special features extended edition of RotK. Viggo's giving Billy looks, and Billy is confused, but intrigued. It culminates in the kiss, where everything comes out into the open. Much torment, but with a happy ending.
My inspiration. From the Return of the King Extended Edition Special Features: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytDFtMITgNw
Please watch! And read....
So it was true.
Those were the words that had first went through Billy’s head when Viggo had turned to him abruptly and pressed his lips hard against his. So it was true - all of Billy’s suspicions.
He would never have expected it, at first. Rugged. Proud. That’s how Viggo had appeared. That’s who he was to his fans. He was Aragorn in their eyes.
That’s what he had looked like to Billy, too. Masculine. Tough. All manly stubble and broad shoulders. He had easily seen the character of the dark and mysterious Ranger spring to life before his eyes as Viggo had strode towards him across the set that day, months ago; his walk, his build, his strong, angular face; he was all Aragorn.
Yet during introductions his voice had been soft when he spoke, and his temperament, softer. He was one of the most sensitive men Billy had ever met: poet, artist, activist, but thoroughly physical as well; capable of anything he set his mind to. His smile was gentle, and genuine, and Billy had liked the man from the moment he‘d met him. Peaceful, is what Billy thought of when he thought of Viggo.
Peaceful had been Viggo that night on the tiny beach, fishing out at Poolburn Dam. It was the night that nearly all of the cast had turned up to camp in tents out in the middle of nowhere. Viggo’s small idea for the exhibition had turned quickly into an event that no one wanted to miss.
Viggo had sat close to the water’s edge that night, a fishing pole lazily in hand, a distance away from the tiny clusters of people standing and sitting around the glow of small fires that dotted the beach. Viggo’s gaze had been abstracted as he’d stared out over the water, lost in thought, the sun disappearing slowly on the horizon; all dark blues and brilliant gold’s.
That had been the first time Billy had really seen anything behind Viggo’s blue] eyes that had made him wonder at the man’s heart.
Billy had stood, watching Viggo from the faint shadows of the nearby trees, watching that peace, completely captivated. Billy had seen it before and admired it, the way Viggo seemed self-assured and relaxed no matter where he was. Billy felt better about all the stresses of his own life when he looked at Viggo; especially when Viggo was sitting alone, silent, with that thoughtful, yet entirely intense, expression on his face
Watching Viggo by the waterside now, with the sunset lighting up his face, Billy had felt a new, disconcerting emotion - had it been yearning? He’d wondered later. Yes. At least, it had felt very close to what Billy knew yearning to be. He had felt a sudden strong desire to possess all of that strength and peace, and to be possessed in return… but he hadn’t been sure then that the feeling wasn’t just a momentary whim. A tiny flicker, a hope that he might find a little intimacy and heat in his life. Billy’s time thus spent in New Zealand had felt lonely at times, even though he was surrounded by his cast mates and crew. In the dark was when he felt the most isolated.
That night it had scared him, when those thoughts had crossed his mind… but it had scared him even more a few moments after the thoughts had passed when Viggo had looked up from where he sat on the shore, suddenly and startlingly, and had locked eyes with Billy at the forest’s edge, through the dancing flames of the nearest camper’s fire.
Billy had seen the orange blaze flashing in Viggo’s eyes, vivid and bright, burning, distinct. Hot and wild. But still peaceful, still with that same humble confidence. Like he wasn’t afraid at all. Wasn’t afraid of what he was doing, and Billy hadn’t looked away.
But then there had been the trout, and their visual bond had been broken. Viggo had wrenched his gaze from Billy’s, exclaimed loudly, “Oy!“ at the sudden hefty tug at his line, totally intent on his fish, without any hint that catching Billy in the firelight, watching him, had phased him in the slightest.
Viggo had stood up, leaning back on his heals, pulling in the line; drawing everyone’s attention away from their own chatter and the roasting of marshmallows, centering all their focus around himself.
Retreating a few steps into the trees Billy had been grateful for the few moments that Viggo’s outburst had given him to compose himself. He had tried to take deep breaths, slow his now quickly beating heart. In Viggo’s eyes it had seemed to Billy as though time had stood still. It was the bright flame that had sent him reeling, it had been so penetrating.
Billy had leaned against a thick tree and took long, deep breathes. He had begun to feel suddenly and utterly foolish, though, and slightly embarrassed. Making something, he thought cynically, out of what could only be nothing.
No. Don’t let a look go to your head, he reasoned with himself. Viggo had never spoken a word to him implying any desire for more then friendship between them. He had never made a pass, never spoken suggestively, or touched him inappropriately. It was just intensity of spirit, Billy reassured himself, in those eyes, amplified by the firelight. Turning away from his thoughts, and the sunset, Viggo had looked up, searching for a friend in the crowd, and his eyes had simply fallen upon Billy. A coincidence.
Yet, there were the other times, too, Billy knew, looking back. Other nights after that one on the beach. Other moments when Viggo’s gaze would come to rest on Billy across a crowded room. It got more frequent, too, the times when Viggo would seem to search Billy out and look into his face from a distance, Billy desperately trying to find some meaning in the older man’s eyes. The moments that fell silent between them as they stared transfixed at one another grew longer and those moments all the more meaningful, Billy fantasized, for their lack of words.
Then, along with those moments, something had changed in the way the two men touched. When they embraced it appeared as though nothing had ever changed between them, to the onlooker, but secretly, everything felt different to Billy. He was aware now of Viggo’s whole body, like he had never been before. Every inch of Viggo that was pressed against Billy was on fire, and small things that would never have been significant before thrilled him, like Viggo’s warm breath against his neck, and how it had begun to feel more like Viggo was holding him when they hugged, not just a friendly embrace, but something more intimate.
Billy tried hard not to think about Viggo too much, though, to not let on to anyone how often the man crossed his mind. However, the situation had become mysterious and stressful to Billy, and one night he broke down and tried hinting to Dom about it quietly as they sat at the bar of their favorite Wellington pub. Billy asked nonchalantly if Dom had ever noticed Viggo looking at him (Billy) “weird.” “Weird” had been the only word he’d been able to think of, a little vague, but Dom had taken the hint, likely spurred on by Billy’s lowered tone and the pink in his cheeks.
Dom had, not surprisingly, laughed loudly, and, assuming Billy was joking said, “Yeah, mate, that’s a good one,” slapping Billy on the shoulder, and had ordered them two more beers.
It had more recently gotten to a point where Billy thought he could physically feel it when Viggo walked onto the set, through a door, into a room, anywhere. He could sense the older man’s approach. Sitting in at a bar Billy would stare at his beer, resting on the counter, keeping his back to Viggo on purpose, not turning to greet him automatically. Those were the nights when Billy was inclined to blush when Viggo appeared, because of the thoughts he had been toying with mere moments before, all whirling around inside his head.
Always at the times when they two of them would sit alone somewhere Viggo would stay entirely normal, though. He would talk to Billy like any other friend from the cast, about any number of different things, none of them centralizing around Billy or feelings or hot eyes. Nothing.
During these conversations Billy would remain his usual good-natured, easy-going self with Viggo. He would take any opportunity that presented itself, though, to covertly study Viggo’s face, wishing inwardly to reach out to him and trace the strong outline of his bones and the softer outlines of throat and cheek and temple, the places where he was soft, not hard, where Billy longed to caress.
Sometimes, Billy thought, Viggo would notice him looking and would purposefully hold his gaze for a moment too long. Billy would immediately feel embarrassed… but then just as Billy would begin to blush Viggo would turn away or say something casual in conversation and he would doubt his ever seeing it.
Bloody bastard. Stupid fucking mind games. Manipulation. That’s how Billy felt, on the bad nights. Those were the cynical nights, pissed with Viggo for not being a tad more strait-forward. These were emotional nights, and he would lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, doubting; and he doubt everything: his sexuality, his security, his self-worth. He would think about the discomfort he’d experienced during a scene earlier that day when he had suddenly felt Viggo’s eyes upon him from somewhere off camera, but when he’d turned to look Viggo would never be there.
Elijah had noticed once and later told Billy that he’d seemed jumpy during the scene that day, as they sat companionably in their trailer. Elijah had pointed out helpfully that Billy seemed to be consuming a rather heightened amount of caffeine lately; which he had brushed off, muttering quietly that at least it was better then smoking, and then he‘d become markedly distracted, turning away from Elijah; because he hated the damn caffeine and he hated relying on it. He had, in truth, been drinking way too much coffee. He knew he was driving himself crazy with it.
Every few days Billy would resolve to put Viggo from his mind for good, but before the next day was through he would always come around again. He tried to force himself to desist the fantasies, he knew they were screwing with his head.
And then, one day, Viggo’s son, Henry, had come to the set to spend two weeks hanging out with his dad, and Viggo had not meet Billy’s eye much over that time, busy and distracted as he was.
The first week Billy was glad of the break. He felt like he could breath when he saw Viggo walk bi again. He was tired of the push and pull, the constant intrigue of Viggo’s gaze.
The second week, though, Billy begun to miss it. The connection. He truly hadn’t realized how accustomed he’d become to Viggo’s attentions.
Getting through that week had been like going through withdrawal. Billy had survived though, just barely, he thought acidly, and really, much good had come from that pain.
He’d begun, finally, to feel as though he had gotten a better hold on his feelings. He had made a decision to stop obsessing over what the hell Viggo felt and figure out, at long last, what it was he himself might want.
Billy only had to ask himself once that question, though, and his answer had been immediately clear: he wanted Viggo, and the man’s smoldering gaze. He wanted all of Viggo. Confident in this fact Billy began to feel less frightened, and more resigned, excepting his own emotions. He knew now what he most desired, yet Viggo never having spoken to him about it… so Billy had decided not to make a move on Viggo, just from because of what he thought was unusual about the way the older man looked at him, much as he wanted to.
Barely more than a week had passed sense Billy’s resolve before, suddenly, that moment of explanation was upon him. It had taken the form of, not words, just action. And, Billy thought in surprise, as Viggo’s lips locked tightly onto his, it had never been about words in the first place, with them. He wondered blearily where he was to go from here, after the kiss had ended, but let the worry go, too giddy with the taste of Viggo in his mouth and the tingling left on his lips when Viggo finally pulled back, to waste his time in thinking on it.
Fifteen minutes before that moment he had been sitting in his trailer, sipping a cup of decaf tea (attempting to pull himself together), when Viggo had burst in. He had preceded to explain that “Sam” and “Rosie” were doing the wedding scene, where they kiss, and that he thought that the two of them might go for support, because they weren’t getting the shot. Viggo thought it might help if they saw some friends in the crowd.
Billy had gone without complaint, following Viggo out of the trailer and over to the Hobbiton set. Once there Billy had played his usual cool. It was only in privacy that he let himself get emotional. Easy-going, light-hearted humor was always his public facade.
When Sara threw her bouquet Billy snatched it out of the air. The two men stood off stage, smiling and waving and laughing. Good humored and playful. Everything had felt pretty casual….
And then it had happened. Billy had been stunned - and breathless. It was delicious and sweet. Most startling of all was that Viggo’s kiss had been so public! Easier would have been, Billy thought, to do this in private; away from, the crowd of people and the camera’s rolling; but then again Viggo had never been afraid of putting out into the world exactly who he was.
It had been perfect. To make it easy for Billy and being substantially bigger, Viggo had held Billy against him for a long kiss, thorough and startling, and it seemed to Billy to speak for every gaze of Viggo’s that Billy had ever held.
That was when Peter got the shot with Sean and Sara, and afterwards Viggo and Billy’s kiss did not go without comment. “Pete, Pete, look at what they’re doing….“ Sean had said jokingly, staring at Viggo and Billy, sounding slightly uncomfortable.
Afterwards, Billy had simply averted his eyes from Viggo’s face. Smiling and responding as people joked with innuendo. Billy knew that if he allowed himself to look into those eyes he would surely throw himself into Viggo’s arms in front of everyone and cry, out of happiness and relief.
Instead Billy had laughed it off, kept his body relaxed, retorted with a line about Viggo and his roving tongue, and then nonchalantly slipped away.
He knew Viggo had seen him go, but with such an intense fluttering in his stomach as what he was experiencing as he walked out of the studio, Billy hadn’t been sure if he had wanted Viggo to follow him or not.
What would he say?
Billy went to his trailer, Elijah was there sleeping, limp, sprawled across his chair, large headphones over his ears. Billy could hear some loud music escaping, he could make out no lyrics, and could barely hear the artist’s voice, only the heavy bass.
Billy took a deep breath and sat down in front of his mirror. He sat for a moment, staring into his own green eyes, large and bright. He felt a little panicky, but excited, and very pleased, the same way he‘d always felt after a first kiss. It was flattering, if not a little awkward.
God if only Viggo would speak, though! Tell him what everything meant. Billy quickly stood and crossed to the door, pushing it open, feeling a little trapped in the warm, narrow trailer, needing the cool fresh air. Stepping down onto the step he raised his head and found himself looking directly into Viggo‘s glowing face; the man was smiling and he looked excited.
Billy was grinning too and he couldn’t help it.
“You look so young when you smile like that,” Viggo said softly, and to Billy’s great pleasure Viggo reached up and cupped Billy’s cheek in his hand.
“Thanks.” Billy said, still grinning. A moment’s pause, and then, “You kissed me.” He stated. He couldn’t help but say it. He just had to say it. “In front of everyone!” Billy said with a laugh, raising his eyebrows, amazed.
“Well, I thought it was time.” Viggo said softly, ever the cryptic one.
“Oh yeah?” Billy said flirtatiously, stepping onto the last step, to stand very close to Viggo. “Time for what, Vig?”
“Time that they knew.” He said, blushing. He glanced down and up into Billy’s face again, shy.
Billy raised a hand to run his fingers through Viggo’s hair. Billy was standing a bit above him, up on the step, but their close proximity was intoxicating, and with some self-control Billy asked, “Yeah? Knew what?” Feeling his heart beat quicken as he said it.
“Knew,” Viggo said slowly, as he wrapped his arms around Billy’s waste and pulled him close. “That I want you.” He finished smoothly, cocking his head innocently to one side, and squinting up into Billy‘s face, eyes in the setting sun..
Billy laughed, more of a squeal of pleasure, he thought in retrospect. “Ye want me, do ye?” he said, eyeing Viggo’s lips with interest.
“Aye, I do.” he said quietly, copying Billy’s soft Scottish accent.
Billy let the silent stretch a moment, for effect, then he shifted to the right, blocking the sun from shining directly into Viggo’s face, and looked hard into the man’s eyes, attempting to really express his sincerity.
“Then you can have me.” Billy said, bending so his lips could meet Viggo’s. Billy wrapped his arms around Viggo’s shoulders and pulled closer against him, wanting him with more passion than he’d ever felt for any woman he‘d ever embraced.
After months of confusion, hot glances, long moments, mystery…. It had resolved itself, finally.
They had been so aware of one another for so long now. Billy never knowing what was hidden behind those eyes. Finally he had spoken. Now Billy knew what Viggo wanted, and it was him, and the knowledge of this sent chills up and down his spine.
The two men kissed each other then, long and soft, and when they were done they stood staring into each others faces. After a minute Viggo went in to kiss Billy more, and harder this time, hungry for what he had so strongly desired and never initiated for the past few months.
At one point Elijah had stirred and sat up strait in his chair at seeing them, startled and staring, but Viggo and Billy hasn’t paused to take notice. They were dimly aware of Elijah standing up quietly, though, setting down his headphones, and slipping out the door at the opposite end of the trailer soundlessly; a huge grin plastered across his face. They were sure that by the time they went in for their next scenes that everyone would know, but they didn’t care.
This thing between them was real now, no longer imaginary or all in his head, Billy thought. He knew now that they wouldn’t be able to hide it from anyone. There would always be heat in their eyes when they looked at one another. It was luminescent; and no one could control it, no one, not even themselves.
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kissesreasons why LOTRPS is called The Fandom that Slashes ItselfTM. LOL! (points at my icon)Welcome to the insanity! :D
Not a bad first try. :D My suggestion would be to follow the oft used phrase 'Show, not tell". In other words, try to find ways that show how the characters are feeling rather than always explaining it. Sometimes you have to tell, but if you can get them to show thigs more, that's all to the good. :D
As for those pesky [?] things, I can fill in some of the blanks for you:
Rosie - Sara McLeod
Billy's eyes - green
Viggo's eyes - blue, i think (Viggo people, help me out! LOL!)
Fishing location - Poolburn (I think near Poolburn Dam, but not sure)
And remember, fanfic is fun! :D
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I forgot to fill in the blanks! Thanks for pointing this out and saving me the research time.
As for your suggestions, I really appreciate your input. I was, however, writing in that over-wordy style purposefully. I have a good amount of control over how i write a piece. It's good to hear how it's received by people, though, might be good to consider my approach a little more....
Thanks for the welcome.
~K
Very good first try!
All the advice above is great and I can add nothing to crit your story, and so only have praise!
Re: Very good first try!
Yes, it is lovely, isn't it? Seems so natural....
Thanks so much, ~K
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As a writer, you can change your perspectives for different pieces, but we'll be able to tell it's yours anyway! We all have destinctive words and phrases we like to use.
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Thanks! ~K