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fellowshippers2006-08-28 05:32 pm
v-angelique.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2006-08-28 05:32 pm
Fic: Controlled 11/45
Title: Controlled (11/45)
Author: Viktoria Angelique
Email: viktoria_angelique@hotmail.com
Rating: NC-17 for series, PG-13 for this part
Pairing: Elijah/Viggo
Warnings: BDSM, angst (sort of)
Disclaimer: If this were true the world might be a better place.
Feedback: I love it!
Summary: Elijah thinks. Sorry so short, but it needed to be done to explain some stuff (so that we can get on with the wild monkey sex)
Previous Chapters
Over the next month, Elijah did some thinking. Elijah thought quite a lot. In fact, practically every moment Elijah could salvage completely for himself, and himself alone, he spent thinking about Viggo and what the future might bring.
The first two weeks of December, thankfully for Elijah’s sanity, didn’t allow much time for thinking. After the bad weather and flood delays of November, Pete threw the cast and crew into full on catch-up mode in December, mentally and physically exhausting everyone as they drew closer and closer to Christmas. There was little time for social gatherings, and most of the time Elijah did not spend working he spent eating or sleeping. However, Christmas soon came, and that was another story.
Elijah was thrilled to see his mother, to see Zach and Hannah and his sister-in-law and niece, as well as his grandmother in Iowa, but he also was allowed over this holiday an inordinate amount of time to think. In the past, breaks from a shooting schedule had been peppered with TV appearances and interviews, but Pete had still not allowed the most famous hobbit to speak to the press, and so he was blissfully unavailable for the time he spent in LA. And during this time, he was able to do a lot of thinking.
To Elijah, the whole situation could be summed up, after a lot of careful consideration, into five categories:
Category One: BDSM. This one was pretty simple. He, after all, had done all the thinking he needed to about this particular topic long ago, in this very same bedroom. Under the watchful eyes of these very same posters, listening to well-worn CDs on this very same stereo, he had already pondered the BDSM lifestyle for many hours, and he had already drawn his conclusions. This was what he wanted. As for Viggo, he didn’t seem incredibly experienced, but he knew the basics. He knew what it was, and he was interested. Furthermore, he displayed traits that made Elijah almost certain that Viggo, if given the opportunity, would be the perfect dominant. In fact, in their last conversation on the subject, he couldn’t have performed any better in Elijah’s eyes. He sat clear boundaries, which though slightly annoying, were necessary. He was clearly looking out for Elijah, but he wasn’t treating him like a child. He allowed Elijah the time and space he needed to make a careful, adult decision, and this showed respect. Elijah liked the idea that Viggo respected him, for that was what BDSM was about in his mind. He would never kneel because he wanted to be humiliated, or because he felt shame. He would go to his knees for Viggo in a heartbeat, however, to show respect and love, to communicate intimacy, and to open himself up to his commands. Commands that, no doubt, would be made with the same love and respect in mind.
Category Two: The Age Difference. This was a little bit more of a biggie. After all, Elijah reasoned, he was actually thinking about having sex—not kissing, not fooling around with, but having honest-to-God sex—with someone his mother’s age. Normally, the very idea would gross him out. Thinking about Viggo, however, “gross” was not the adjective that most readily came to mind. There was obviously the issue of experience. Viggo had been married, had a child. Elijah couldn’t say that this would never bother him, or that he would never feel disposable. He was, after all, just a kid, and Viggo could probably find something better if he wanted to. Therein, in fact, lay a central problem—Elijah was pretty sure Viggo could find someone better. But then again, if he could so easily find this person, why hadn’t they shown up already? He was afraid, but he knew he would have to talk to Viggo about this. He wanted to be completely honest, and it would have to be addressed. Elijah couldn’t promise Viggo that he believed himself to be the best Viggo could have, but then, Elijah couldn’t really say without a doubt that Viggo was the best one for him, either. With some comfort in the thought, Elijah realised that building a relationship was largely about figuring such things out. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was Middle-Earth. Trust and love would have to be built, but he was willing to try. Hopefully, that would be enough.
Category Three: The Whole New Zealand Thing. Viggo and Elijah were co-workers. True, their job wasn’t your standard 9-5, but they were still technically working together, and he couldn’t say that Pete would be too pleased to have two of his principal actors doing the nasty on the side. After all, what if something did go bad? Elijah couldn’t imagine ever fighting or being truly angry with Viggo, but he couldn’t risk jeopardizing the film, and he knew Viggo wouldn’t. Even if things were perfect, any sort of relationship might affect the way they acted, and this sort of a relationship even more so. As Elijah had said before, there wasn’t a line for him between scene and “real life.” He wasn’t playing a role. But Frodo was a role, and he couldn’t let such a change in his life affect the dynamic between Frodo and Aragorn. He didn’t think it was insurmountable, but he knew it was something he and Viggo would have to talk about, and be conscious of. And how “out” would they be, exactly? Viggo was very comfortable with himself, Elijah was sure. Elijah never would have come to him, otherwise—after all, Viggo showed no outward signs of attraction to men. But comfortable though he was, he was also a somewhat private person. Elijah knew all about hiding details from the press, but would they also have to hide their relationship from friends and family? Would Dom and Billy and Orli know? He didn’t know that he could enter a relationship with no support from his friends, but he also didn’t want to go through all the turmoil that press discovery would entail. Again, the magic word was talk. Something they were going to have to do very soon.
Category Four: Gay? Elijah had never thought he was gay. He never thought he was bi, really, although maybe he had his suspicions. Point was, he had always dated girls. Viggo, clearly, was not a girl. He was open to try it, and he didn’t feel like it was an experiment, but it might be hard to convince Viggo. After all, if he didn’t like the relationship just because Viggo was a man, that wasn’t exactly Viggo’s fault. Still, that didn’t bother him so much.
Gay sex, however, bothered him just a teeny bit. He tried thinking about it. He experimented, even, with wanking about it. He didn’t want to hit too close to home, and he tried thinking about male movie stars that he had never met instead of Viggo himself, late at night when he was stroking himself to relief. That worked, sort of, but if he were to be honest with himself, Viggo was always on the back of his mind, and it was Viggo’s face, unbidden, that came to him just as he found release. Elijah clearly didn’t mind the idea of sex with a man, but it was the mechanics that were a little frightening. So he turned to his old friend, the internet, which was entirely helpful on the subject. Blowjobs, he could do. The technique didn’t seem that difficult, and after all, he knew what he liked. A handjob he could do in his sleep. He might even be able to put his fingers… in there, without too much difficulty. Lubricant would be necessary, and he wasn’t sure he really wanted to show up at the chemist and procure some of that himself, but once the details were figured out, he thought he’d be all right both giving and receiving on that count. Rimming, frankly, was gross. He didn’t even want to think about someone’s tongue going where that came out. And then there was sex. He read an awful lot about the sex, and figured he was pretty knowledgeable on the topic by the time the month was drawing to a close, but he still thought a lot of it could only be taught by hands-on experience. It didn’t seem all that pleasurable to him, but he was curious. He wondered, in fact, he wondered intensely, to the point that it kept him up at night, what it would be like to be so impossibly stretched. He wondered what it would feel like to have something so warm, and pulsing, and alive, inserted into his body. It sounded painful as hell, but also strangely intimate. Again, they had a lot of talking to do.
Category Five: Viggo. Here was the easy category. This, in fact, was the category that put all others to shame. For in the end, despite the age and the gay and the work and the kink, it was really just Viggo. Viggo excited him, enticed him, piqued his curiosity and made him rife with anticipation after only a month of separation. When he removed all the other factors, and just asked himself, “do you want Viggo?” the answer was always “yes.” He wasn’t sure exactly what he wanted (“relationship” sounded nice, but it had to come from somewhere) but he did want Viggo. He was willing to try to make this work. He was willing to swallow a bit of his pride, be totally honest, and put the ball in Viggo’s court. It didn’t matter that Viggo was a man, and a fairly old man at that, because he was Viggo, and Elijah felt comfortable with him. Not just comfortable, but he really enjoyed being with Viggo. It was like what he had felt some years back with Angela, but more intense. So it was this category that, the afternoon of December 31st, 1999, convinced him to pick up his cell phone and make a call.
“Hey, Vig? We need to talk. Yeah. How would you like to go out on a date?”
Author: Viktoria Angelique
Email: viktoria_angelique@hotmail.com
Rating: NC-17 for series, PG-13 for this part
Pairing: Elijah/Viggo
Warnings: BDSM, angst (sort of)
Disclaimer: If this were true the world might be a better place.
Feedback: I love it!
Summary: Elijah thinks. Sorry so short, but it needed to be done to explain some stuff (
Previous Chapters
Over the next month, Elijah did some thinking. Elijah thought quite a lot. In fact, practically every moment Elijah could salvage completely for himself, and himself alone, he spent thinking about Viggo and what the future might bring.
The first two weeks of December, thankfully for Elijah’s sanity, didn’t allow much time for thinking. After the bad weather and flood delays of November, Pete threw the cast and crew into full on catch-up mode in December, mentally and physically exhausting everyone as they drew closer and closer to Christmas. There was little time for social gatherings, and most of the time Elijah did not spend working he spent eating or sleeping. However, Christmas soon came, and that was another story.
Elijah was thrilled to see his mother, to see Zach and Hannah and his sister-in-law and niece, as well as his grandmother in Iowa, but he also was allowed over this holiday an inordinate amount of time to think. In the past, breaks from a shooting schedule had been peppered with TV appearances and interviews, but Pete had still not allowed the most famous hobbit to speak to the press, and so he was blissfully unavailable for the time he spent in LA. And during this time, he was able to do a lot of thinking.
To Elijah, the whole situation could be summed up, after a lot of careful consideration, into five categories:
Category One: BDSM. This one was pretty simple. He, after all, had done all the thinking he needed to about this particular topic long ago, in this very same bedroom. Under the watchful eyes of these very same posters, listening to well-worn CDs on this very same stereo, he had already pondered the BDSM lifestyle for many hours, and he had already drawn his conclusions. This was what he wanted. As for Viggo, he didn’t seem incredibly experienced, but he knew the basics. He knew what it was, and he was interested. Furthermore, he displayed traits that made Elijah almost certain that Viggo, if given the opportunity, would be the perfect dominant. In fact, in their last conversation on the subject, he couldn’t have performed any better in Elijah’s eyes. He sat clear boundaries, which though slightly annoying, were necessary. He was clearly looking out for Elijah, but he wasn’t treating him like a child. He allowed Elijah the time and space he needed to make a careful, adult decision, and this showed respect. Elijah liked the idea that Viggo respected him, for that was what BDSM was about in his mind. He would never kneel because he wanted to be humiliated, or because he felt shame. He would go to his knees for Viggo in a heartbeat, however, to show respect and love, to communicate intimacy, and to open himself up to his commands. Commands that, no doubt, would be made with the same love and respect in mind.
Category Two: The Age Difference. This was a little bit more of a biggie. After all, Elijah reasoned, he was actually thinking about having sex—not kissing, not fooling around with, but having honest-to-God sex—with someone his mother’s age. Normally, the very idea would gross him out. Thinking about Viggo, however, “gross” was not the adjective that most readily came to mind. There was obviously the issue of experience. Viggo had been married, had a child. Elijah couldn’t say that this would never bother him, or that he would never feel disposable. He was, after all, just a kid, and Viggo could probably find something better if he wanted to. Therein, in fact, lay a central problem—Elijah was pretty sure Viggo could find someone better. But then again, if he could so easily find this person, why hadn’t they shown up already? He was afraid, but he knew he would have to talk to Viggo about this. He wanted to be completely honest, and it would have to be addressed. Elijah couldn’t promise Viggo that he believed himself to be the best Viggo could have, but then, Elijah couldn’t really say without a doubt that Viggo was the best one for him, either. With some comfort in the thought, Elijah realised that building a relationship was largely about figuring such things out. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was Middle-Earth. Trust and love would have to be built, but he was willing to try. Hopefully, that would be enough.
Category Three: The Whole New Zealand Thing. Viggo and Elijah were co-workers. True, their job wasn’t your standard 9-5, but they were still technically working together, and he couldn’t say that Pete would be too pleased to have two of his principal actors doing the nasty on the side. After all, what if something did go bad? Elijah couldn’t imagine ever fighting or being truly angry with Viggo, but he couldn’t risk jeopardizing the film, and he knew Viggo wouldn’t. Even if things were perfect, any sort of relationship might affect the way they acted, and this sort of a relationship even more so. As Elijah had said before, there wasn’t a line for him between scene and “real life.” He wasn’t playing a role. But Frodo was a role, and he couldn’t let such a change in his life affect the dynamic between Frodo and Aragorn. He didn’t think it was insurmountable, but he knew it was something he and Viggo would have to talk about, and be conscious of. And how “out” would they be, exactly? Viggo was very comfortable with himself, Elijah was sure. Elijah never would have come to him, otherwise—after all, Viggo showed no outward signs of attraction to men. But comfortable though he was, he was also a somewhat private person. Elijah knew all about hiding details from the press, but would they also have to hide their relationship from friends and family? Would Dom and Billy and Orli know? He didn’t know that he could enter a relationship with no support from his friends, but he also didn’t want to go through all the turmoil that press discovery would entail. Again, the magic word was talk. Something they were going to have to do very soon.
Category Four: Gay? Elijah had never thought he was gay. He never thought he was bi, really, although maybe he had his suspicions. Point was, he had always dated girls. Viggo, clearly, was not a girl. He was open to try it, and he didn’t feel like it was an experiment, but it might be hard to convince Viggo. After all, if he didn’t like the relationship just because Viggo was a man, that wasn’t exactly Viggo’s fault. Still, that didn’t bother him so much.
Gay sex, however, bothered him just a teeny bit. He tried thinking about it. He experimented, even, with wanking about it. He didn’t want to hit too close to home, and he tried thinking about male movie stars that he had never met instead of Viggo himself, late at night when he was stroking himself to relief. That worked, sort of, but if he were to be honest with himself, Viggo was always on the back of his mind, and it was Viggo’s face, unbidden, that came to him just as he found release. Elijah clearly didn’t mind the idea of sex with a man, but it was the mechanics that were a little frightening. So he turned to his old friend, the internet, which was entirely helpful on the subject. Blowjobs, he could do. The technique didn’t seem that difficult, and after all, he knew what he liked. A handjob he could do in his sleep. He might even be able to put his fingers… in there, without too much difficulty. Lubricant would be necessary, and he wasn’t sure he really wanted to show up at the chemist and procure some of that himself, but once the details were figured out, he thought he’d be all right both giving and receiving on that count. Rimming, frankly, was gross. He didn’t even want to think about someone’s tongue going where that came out. And then there was sex. He read an awful lot about the sex, and figured he was pretty knowledgeable on the topic by the time the month was drawing to a close, but he still thought a lot of it could only be taught by hands-on experience. It didn’t seem all that pleasurable to him, but he was curious. He wondered, in fact, he wondered intensely, to the point that it kept him up at night, what it would be like to be so impossibly stretched. He wondered what it would feel like to have something so warm, and pulsing, and alive, inserted into his body. It sounded painful as hell, but also strangely intimate. Again, they had a lot of talking to do.
Category Five: Viggo. Here was the easy category. This, in fact, was the category that put all others to shame. For in the end, despite the age and the gay and the work and the kink, it was really just Viggo. Viggo excited him, enticed him, piqued his curiosity and made him rife with anticipation after only a month of separation. When he removed all the other factors, and just asked himself, “do you want Viggo?” the answer was always “yes.” He wasn’t sure exactly what he wanted (“relationship” sounded nice, but it had to come from somewhere) but he did want Viggo. He was willing to try to make this work. He was willing to swallow a bit of his pride, be totally honest, and put the ball in Viggo’s court. It didn’t matter that Viggo was a man, and a fairly old man at that, because he was Viggo, and Elijah felt comfortable with him. Not just comfortable, but he really enjoyed being with Viggo. It was like what he had felt some years back with Angela, but more intense. So it was this category that, the afternoon of December 31st, 1999, convinced him to pick up his cell phone and make a call.
“Hey, Vig? We need to talk. Yeah. How would you like to go out on a date?”
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loved it..can't wait for the next part. :)
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Loves this slow build up. Is anticipating like mad.
Hugs
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