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fellowshippers2006-06-17 11:06 pm
pecos.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2006-06-17 11:06 pm
A blast from the past...
I've got nothing stellar to share with you tonight, but if you don't mind a quick and silly re-run I'd like to remind a couple of you about the art and craft of the Crack!Fic. Not that this is a good example - I just wanted to remind our far more talented writers that short and sweet and funny is a virtue too! From my newly-revamped (and soon to be even slicker!) website for Chimerafic ( http://www.chimerafic.com ) here's an oldie but goodie from the days when we all thought that our Orli-bear was a bit dim, but adorable, staring Sean Bean and the ebullient Orlando Bloom:
TITLE: Chocolate Lab (1/1)
AUTHOR: Pecos
E-MAIL: PecosPhil@sprintmail.com
RATING: G (yep!)
PAIRING: (sorta) Sean Bean and Orlando Bloom
NOTES: No Beta, no plot, no worries.
For those who may not know what a chocolate Labrador Retriever
is, think of a big brown dog with the sweetest
eyes in the world, a lovely disposition,
loyal, friendly, a bit goofy, and absolutely
mad about anything that moves.
CHOCOLATE LAB
“Come on, Seanie, hit me the ball!”
“Orli, just relax. Let’s talk about your grip on the racquet first....”
“I’ve got it – it’s in my hand! Hit the ball!”
“It’s called a ‘serve’. You serve the ball to start a match.”
“Serve me Beanie, serve me!”
“Dang it, Orli, where do you find the energy to bounce around like that? You don’t see players on the other courts bouncing around like that.”
“Hey, I got the little white shorts and the boring old shirt just for you! White socks too, and these dumb shoes....”
“Most people learn to play tennis BEFORE they invest in the wardrobe.”
“What are you talking about? You said I was adorable. Come on, let’s play!”
“Okay already, here it comes, nice and easy. Just hit the ball.”
*WHACK*
*WHACK*
“Uh, okay... nice try, Orli. Next time, let’s try to keep the ball inside our own court.”
“I’ll go get it!”
“No! Stop! Stay, Orli! I’ve got a couple cans of balls here.”
*sniggering* “You’ve got your balls in a can!”
*SIGH* “How did I ever let you talk me into this?”
“Come on, Seanie! Hit me...I mean serve me the ball!”
“All right, settle down. Here we go again.”
*WHACK*
*WHACK*
*WHACK!*
“Uh, Orli, you need to stay on YOUR side of the net.”
“Geesh. So many rules! Can I serve you now?”
“Sure, why not? Give it a go.”
*WHACK*
“Wow, that was fun!”
“Um, next time, TOWARDS me, Orli.”
“Over the fence was pretty good though, eh? Got some real air on that baby! Your turn to serve me, Sean.”
“Ready? Look this way. Okay – “
*WHACK*
*WHACK*
*WHACK*
*WHACK*
“Whoops. Sorry, lady!”
“15 Love, Orli.”
*Orli leaps over the net, wraps his arms and legs around Sean and kisses him on the mouth*
“I love you too!”
“You know, I think you’re more the billiards type, Orli. Let’s go inside.”
“What do you wear to play billiards?”
“Anything you want.”
“I’ll go get the balls!”
“Go for it, Baby.”
TITLE: Chocolate Lab (1/1)
AUTHOR: Pecos
E-MAIL: PecosPhil@sprintmail.com
RATING: G (yep!)
PAIRING: (sorta) Sean Bean and Orlando Bloom
NOTES: No Beta, no plot, no worries.
For those who may not know what a chocolate Labrador Retriever
is, think of a big brown dog with the sweetest
eyes in the world, a lovely disposition,
loyal, friendly, a bit goofy, and absolutely
mad about anything that moves.
CHOCOLATE LAB
“Come on, Seanie, hit me the ball!”
“Orli, just relax. Let’s talk about your grip on the racquet first....”
“I’ve got it – it’s in my hand! Hit the ball!”
“It’s called a ‘serve’. You serve the ball to start a match.”
“Serve me Beanie, serve me!”
“Dang it, Orli, where do you find the energy to bounce around like that? You don’t see players on the other courts bouncing around like that.”
“Hey, I got the little white shorts and the boring old shirt just for you! White socks too, and these dumb shoes....”
“Most people learn to play tennis BEFORE they invest in the wardrobe.”
“What are you talking about? You said I was adorable. Come on, let’s play!”
“Okay already, here it comes, nice and easy. Just hit the ball.”
*WHACK*
*WHACK*
“Uh, okay... nice try, Orli. Next time, let’s try to keep the ball inside our own court.”
“I’ll go get it!”
“No! Stop! Stay, Orli! I’ve got a couple cans of balls here.”
*sniggering* “You’ve got your balls in a can!”
*SIGH* “How did I ever let you talk me into this?”
“Come on, Seanie! Hit me...I mean serve me the ball!”
“All right, settle down. Here we go again.”
*WHACK*
*WHACK*
*WHACK!*
“Uh, Orli, you need to stay on YOUR side of the net.”
“Geesh. So many rules! Can I serve you now?”
“Sure, why not? Give it a go.”
*WHACK*
“Wow, that was fun!”
“Um, next time, TOWARDS me, Orli.”
“Over the fence was pretty good though, eh? Got some real air on that baby! Your turn to serve me, Sean.”
“Ready? Look this way. Okay – “
*WHACK*
*WHACK*
*WHACK*
*WHACK*
“Whoops. Sorry, lady!”
“15 Love, Orli.”
*Orli leaps over the net, wraps his arms and legs around Sean and kisses him on the mouth*
“I love you too!”
“You know, I think you’re more the billiards type, Orli. Let’s go inside.”
“What do you wear to play billiards?”
“Anything you want.”
“I’ll go get the balls!”
“Go for it, Baby.”
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dimuh, over excited Orlando! Hehehe! Thank you! this was so much fun to read!no subject
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love the 'whacks.' thanks for sharing!
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