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fellowshippers2006-03-24 04:36 pm
v-angelique.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2006-03-24 04:36 pm
Brethren, Chapter Eight
Title: Bretheren
Author: Viktoria Angelique
Email: viktoria_angelique@hotmail.com
Pairing: DM/VM, SB/EW eventually
Rating: up to NC-17, this part PG
Beta:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
saura_
Disclaimer: If this is real then I must be really confused.
Summary: Viggo and Sean talk.
Previous Chapters
It was on the afternoon of his third mandatory meeting with Elijah that Viggo decided to pay his good friend Sean a visit. On official time, Viggo and Sean were expected to meet with each other so that Viggo could communicate his concerns about the boys in his choir to Sean and so that Sean could counsel him and provide personal prayer sessions, but their personal relationship went beyond that.
Viggo and Sean were the same age and had both been in the settlement since its start. Sean had been an Anglican minister in a county parish in England, disillusioned with certain parts of church doctrine, when a friend offered him passage to America and a place to live in exchange for his services as one of the ministers in a new religious settlement in Savannah, Georgia. After a short stint in Savannah, Sean had relocated to Bethlehem when the quickly growing new community needed a junior minister with some experience to deal especially with the youth choirs and young men and women of marriageable age who needed spiritual counsel. Viggo and Sean had quickly bonded over their professional similarities and over time Sean had become Viggo’s closest friend and confidant, and vice versa.
Although he had asked Elijah not to meddle in Sean’s personal affairs, Viggo knew considerably more of his old friend’s struggles than Elijah did and decided that after allowing a couple of weeks for Sean to work things out in his own head he would offer an ear.
He found Sean relaxing in his office, marking through his Bible for Sunday’s sermon, which he would be delivering to a small special congregation of Indian youths who were working towards conversion. He smiled broadly when Viggo rapped on the wooden doorframe and gestured expansively, waving Viggo inside as he set down the Good Book.
“Vig! Haven’t seen you in awhile, friend. Please, come in!”
Viggo smiled and entered the office, shutting the door carefully behind him and lowering himself into the chair that faced Sean’s desk. “How are you doing, Sean? Things coming along well for the sermon?”
“Yeah, I think so. I’m going to be focusing on a couple of parables and having the kids work them out for themselves as much as possible. The last group seemed to like that a lot at this age.” Viggo nodded, stretching his legs out in front of him and crossing them at the ankle, his hands folded modestly in his lap. “And you? What have you been up to this afternoon?”
“Oh, not much. Just got out of my meeting with Elijah, actually,” Viggo replied, careful to keep his face neutral and simply observe his friend’s reaction. Not surprisingly, Sean’s face clouded over at the mention of the name, but it was much less expected when Sean let his head drop into his hands, rubbing his temples in consternation.
“Jesus, Viggo. It’s just… damn it, those old demons are coming back to haunt me once again, you know,” Sean admitted with a defeated sigh. Viggo just nodded, recognizing a past that Sean rarely spoke of but clearly was haunted by. “You know what made me a man of the cloth, Viggo. It was guilt that pursued me, and it’s guilt that I’ve fought against for so many years. But there’s something about him… Elijah just erases that guilt, Vig. He looks at me, and gives me a cocky little smile, and I forget the guilt. I feel almost… content, God help me. Content in my sin.” Sean shook his head again, and Viggo’s heart went out to him.
“Sean…forgive me, but have you considered the possibility that God has put Elijah here for a reason? I mean, if seeing him makes you feel less guilty, maybe that’s a good…”
“No!” Viggo nearly jumped from his chair at the violence of Sean’s reaction, his hands slamming forcibly to the desk, and he would have if he weren’t familiar with his friend’s occasional fits of rage. Viggo knew to sit this out, but it was tough. “Jesus, Viggo. Don’t you tempt me, not you, too… I can’t… Jesus.” Sean shook his head, pretending to examine his nails, but Sean was not a vain man and Viggo knew the wheels were turning as he pretended to disengage.
“Sean… you’re my oldest, dearest friend here. You wouldn’t lie to me, would you?” Sean shook his head at the question, his eyes registering confusion. “Right. Well what about me, then? When you look at me, is the first word you think of ‘sinner?’ Is my devotion to the Lord tainted or impure because of what I am? Because of who I am?”
Sean shifted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable, and tried to find a loophole. “But you aren’t… anymore… you had impure urges but you haven’t acted on them in a long…”
“I’ve had such urges more recently than you would expect, Sean.” Viggo’s tone was hard, but honest, and Sean blinked at the implication.
“Who…?”
“I’m not comfortable naming names right now, to protect the person in question. He hadn’t sinned with me, nor has he admitted to impure thoughts himself, and I have no desire to act in an improper way towards him. But Sean, you must apply whatever harsh thoughts you apply to yourself for desiring of the same sex, to me. You want what? Companionship, love, trust? You desire the boy sexually? I have been guilty of all these things,” Viggo admitted, holding his hands palm up to each side as if laying the truth out on the table. “If you allow God to judge me for this, and withhold your own judgment, then you should apply no other standard to your own desires. I can’t tell you what is sin, and what is not, for that is only for the Lord to decide. If you feel in your heart that you are a sinner, so be it, but this isn’t what I’m hearing from you.”
“But Viggo. He is… the community would shun me…” Sean stuttered, running a hand through his hair in agitation.
“Sean, I know the community does not accept such things. But I would be a hypocrite if I were to tell Elijah that he is pure in the eyes of the Lord, that his way of worship is no less than those so-called ‘proper’ men who use religion to shun and judge him, and then were to give differing counsel to you. You are a minister, but you are not perfect. And who is to judge perfection here on earth? Who is to measure the quantity and quality of a love that best matches Christ’s love for his church? Not myself, certainly, nor you, nor any man. Love as best you know how, and pray often, my friend. God will tell you what is right.”
“And this is the counsel you give Elijah?” Sean asked, his voice uncharacteristically small.
“It is the same,” Viggo replied simply.
“And how does he respond to these teachings, then? Does he embrace them?”
Viggo shrugged. “More than any other counsel he has been given on the Lord’s love.”
Sean nodded, seeming to consider for a moment, and then met Viggo’s eye. “I thank you, my friend, but I’m afraid I need to be alone for a while. There is much thinking to be done. If you are right, well…the Lord will help me understand what I must do.”
Viggo smiled and nodded. “As you wish.”
Rising slowly from his chair, Viggo headed to the door as Sean opened his Bible again and shut it gently behind him. As he left the building adjacent to the chapel that housed Sean’s office, he let his eyes sweep the grounds, taking a mental survey of everyone’s midday activities. In a yard not far from where he stood, a group of young boys were playing with the supervision of one of the children’s choir leaders. Further down the dirt path, a large wooden frame was occupied by several married women who were busy hanging freshly washed white linens up to dry. Viggo nodded respectfully at them as he passed, and they smiled brightly and waved, looking up from their chores for a moment to watch him. The women in the community tended to respect Viggo greatly for his demeanour and especially his abilities to heal their children, many of which had been rescued from a fever or infection by his herbal remedies.
As he passed the stables, he nodded to the men leading several horses back in from an hour’s exercise and noticed Elijah helping to load fresh straw into a stall near the entrance. If he was being completely honest, he would admit that Elijah’s manual labour wasn’t really a sentence of punishment after all, for Elijah loved being around the horses and didn’t mind taking care of them all that much.
But then, in his eyes, Elijah’s crime was somewhat minor. The young Monaghan hardly seemed negatively affected, as Elijah hadn’t broken the command to avoid him whenever possible, and the most positive result of the incident in Viggo’s eyes was his opportunity to meet with the youth for prayer. Elijah, after all, was quite a smart young man, and Viggo appreciated the chance to give him some one-on-one instruction. Together, they had been reading through the psalms and Elijah seemed to be honestly considering how best to communicate with God through prayer and reflection, rather than dodging religion with his usual sarcastic quips. Elijah, in fact, reminded Viggo quite a bit of his own adolescent persona, constantly questioning and searching to understand despite occasional bouts of mischief. Sean’s own problems with Elijah weren’t really Viggo’s business, but he personally enjoyed the boy’s company and hoped his instruction might be of some use in whatever way the Lord saw fit.
When Viggo had passed the stables, he rounded the corner and headed in the direction of a sawhorse, set up in a clearing, where Dominic was working alone to chop a large bundle of rough timber into firewood. Two young Indian children, both boys, sat in front of him, their faces rapt with attention, and Viggo grinned as he heard a snippet of the story Dominic was telling.
“…and then the sky opened up, almost like a big bag of water, just like that. Snap! The thunder was so loud we could only hear each other speak if we yelled, and the water was streaming down our faces. Sure, it was scary, but I knew I had to be strong for all the little girls and boys…”
Dominic caught Viggo’s eye briefly during his tale of bravado and winked, causing Viggo to stifle a laugh behind his hand.
As Dominic continued to tell the story of his passage to the Americas from Europe, Viggo held up ten fingers to signal ten minutes and nodded in the direction of the stables, getting a nod in return. He wasn’t sure exactly why, but he had a sudden urge to spend some time with the young man, and going out on the horses was the best way to do so. He had to give Dominic a lesson today anyway, and it wouldn’t be smart to start after sundown. Whistling to himself, Viggo headed off towards his own office to collect a few leather satchels that he could use for gathering herbs. He shook his head at his own excuse, remembering Elijah’s woods from that night a couple of weeks ago. Gathering nightshade indeed… like mentor, like student, he thought, chuckling to himself as he stepped into his office and shut the noises of the community behind him out with the door, leaving Viggo to his thoughts.
Author: Viktoria Angelique
Email: viktoria_angelique@hotmail.com
Pairing: DM/VM, SB/EW eventually
Rating: up to NC-17, this part PG
Beta:
saura_Disclaimer: If this is real then I must be really confused.
Summary: Viggo and Sean talk.
Previous Chapters
It was on the afternoon of his third mandatory meeting with Elijah that Viggo decided to pay his good friend Sean a visit. On official time, Viggo and Sean were expected to meet with each other so that Viggo could communicate his concerns about the boys in his choir to Sean and so that Sean could counsel him and provide personal prayer sessions, but their personal relationship went beyond that.
Viggo and Sean were the same age and had both been in the settlement since its start. Sean had been an Anglican minister in a county parish in England, disillusioned with certain parts of church doctrine, when a friend offered him passage to America and a place to live in exchange for his services as one of the ministers in a new religious settlement in Savannah, Georgia. After a short stint in Savannah, Sean had relocated to Bethlehem when the quickly growing new community needed a junior minister with some experience to deal especially with the youth choirs and young men and women of marriageable age who needed spiritual counsel. Viggo and Sean had quickly bonded over their professional similarities and over time Sean had become Viggo’s closest friend and confidant, and vice versa.
Although he had asked Elijah not to meddle in Sean’s personal affairs, Viggo knew considerably more of his old friend’s struggles than Elijah did and decided that after allowing a couple of weeks for Sean to work things out in his own head he would offer an ear.
He found Sean relaxing in his office, marking through his Bible for Sunday’s sermon, which he would be delivering to a small special congregation of Indian youths who were working towards conversion. He smiled broadly when Viggo rapped on the wooden doorframe and gestured expansively, waving Viggo inside as he set down the Good Book.
“Vig! Haven’t seen you in awhile, friend. Please, come in!”
Viggo smiled and entered the office, shutting the door carefully behind him and lowering himself into the chair that faced Sean’s desk. “How are you doing, Sean? Things coming along well for the sermon?”
“Yeah, I think so. I’m going to be focusing on a couple of parables and having the kids work them out for themselves as much as possible. The last group seemed to like that a lot at this age.” Viggo nodded, stretching his legs out in front of him and crossing them at the ankle, his hands folded modestly in his lap. “And you? What have you been up to this afternoon?”
“Oh, not much. Just got out of my meeting with Elijah, actually,” Viggo replied, careful to keep his face neutral and simply observe his friend’s reaction. Not surprisingly, Sean’s face clouded over at the mention of the name, but it was much less expected when Sean let his head drop into his hands, rubbing his temples in consternation.
“Jesus, Viggo. It’s just… damn it, those old demons are coming back to haunt me once again, you know,” Sean admitted with a defeated sigh. Viggo just nodded, recognizing a past that Sean rarely spoke of but clearly was haunted by. “You know what made me a man of the cloth, Viggo. It was guilt that pursued me, and it’s guilt that I’ve fought against for so many years. But there’s something about him… Elijah just erases that guilt, Vig. He looks at me, and gives me a cocky little smile, and I forget the guilt. I feel almost… content, God help me. Content in my sin.” Sean shook his head again, and Viggo’s heart went out to him.
“Sean…forgive me, but have you considered the possibility that God has put Elijah here for a reason? I mean, if seeing him makes you feel less guilty, maybe that’s a good…”
“No!” Viggo nearly jumped from his chair at the violence of Sean’s reaction, his hands slamming forcibly to the desk, and he would have if he weren’t familiar with his friend’s occasional fits of rage. Viggo knew to sit this out, but it was tough. “Jesus, Viggo. Don’t you tempt me, not you, too… I can’t… Jesus.” Sean shook his head, pretending to examine his nails, but Sean was not a vain man and Viggo knew the wheels were turning as he pretended to disengage.
“Sean… you’re my oldest, dearest friend here. You wouldn’t lie to me, would you?” Sean shook his head at the question, his eyes registering confusion. “Right. Well what about me, then? When you look at me, is the first word you think of ‘sinner?’ Is my devotion to the Lord tainted or impure because of what I am? Because of who I am?”
Sean shifted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable, and tried to find a loophole. “But you aren’t… anymore… you had impure urges but you haven’t acted on them in a long…”
“I’ve had such urges more recently than you would expect, Sean.” Viggo’s tone was hard, but honest, and Sean blinked at the implication.
“Who…?”
“I’m not comfortable naming names right now, to protect the person in question. He hadn’t sinned with me, nor has he admitted to impure thoughts himself, and I have no desire to act in an improper way towards him. But Sean, you must apply whatever harsh thoughts you apply to yourself for desiring of the same sex, to me. You want what? Companionship, love, trust? You desire the boy sexually? I have been guilty of all these things,” Viggo admitted, holding his hands palm up to each side as if laying the truth out on the table. “If you allow God to judge me for this, and withhold your own judgment, then you should apply no other standard to your own desires. I can’t tell you what is sin, and what is not, for that is only for the Lord to decide. If you feel in your heart that you are a sinner, so be it, but this isn’t what I’m hearing from you.”
“But Viggo. He is… the community would shun me…” Sean stuttered, running a hand through his hair in agitation.
“Sean, I know the community does not accept such things. But I would be a hypocrite if I were to tell Elijah that he is pure in the eyes of the Lord, that his way of worship is no less than those so-called ‘proper’ men who use religion to shun and judge him, and then were to give differing counsel to you. You are a minister, but you are not perfect. And who is to judge perfection here on earth? Who is to measure the quantity and quality of a love that best matches Christ’s love for his church? Not myself, certainly, nor you, nor any man. Love as best you know how, and pray often, my friend. God will tell you what is right.”
“And this is the counsel you give Elijah?” Sean asked, his voice uncharacteristically small.
“It is the same,” Viggo replied simply.
“And how does he respond to these teachings, then? Does he embrace them?”
Viggo shrugged. “More than any other counsel he has been given on the Lord’s love.”
Sean nodded, seeming to consider for a moment, and then met Viggo’s eye. “I thank you, my friend, but I’m afraid I need to be alone for a while. There is much thinking to be done. If you are right, well…the Lord will help me understand what I must do.”
Viggo smiled and nodded. “As you wish.”
Rising slowly from his chair, Viggo headed to the door as Sean opened his Bible again and shut it gently behind him. As he left the building adjacent to the chapel that housed Sean’s office, he let his eyes sweep the grounds, taking a mental survey of everyone’s midday activities. In a yard not far from where he stood, a group of young boys were playing with the supervision of one of the children’s choir leaders. Further down the dirt path, a large wooden frame was occupied by several married women who were busy hanging freshly washed white linens up to dry. Viggo nodded respectfully at them as he passed, and they smiled brightly and waved, looking up from their chores for a moment to watch him. The women in the community tended to respect Viggo greatly for his demeanour and especially his abilities to heal their children, many of which had been rescued from a fever or infection by his herbal remedies.
As he passed the stables, he nodded to the men leading several horses back in from an hour’s exercise and noticed Elijah helping to load fresh straw into a stall near the entrance. If he was being completely honest, he would admit that Elijah’s manual labour wasn’t really a sentence of punishment after all, for Elijah loved being around the horses and didn’t mind taking care of them all that much.
But then, in his eyes, Elijah’s crime was somewhat minor. The young Monaghan hardly seemed negatively affected, as Elijah hadn’t broken the command to avoid him whenever possible, and the most positive result of the incident in Viggo’s eyes was his opportunity to meet with the youth for prayer. Elijah, after all, was quite a smart young man, and Viggo appreciated the chance to give him some one-on-one instruction. Together, they had been reading through the psalms and Elijah seemed to be honestly considering how best to communicate with God through prayer and reflection, rather than dodging religion with his usual sarcastic quips. Elijah, in fact, reminded Viggo quite a bit of his own adolescent persona, constantly questioning and searching to understand despite occasional bouts of mischief. Sean’s own problems with Elijah weren’t really Viggo’s business, but he personally enjoyed the boy’s company and hoped his instruction might be of some use in whatever way the Lord saw fit.
When Viggo had passed the stables, he rounded the corner and headed in the direction of a sawhorse, set up in a clearing, where Dominic was working alone to chop a large bundle of rough timber into firewood. Two young Indian children, both boys, sat in front of him, their faces rapt with attention, and Viggo grinned as he heard a snippet of the story Dominic was telling.
“…and then the sky opened up, almost like a big bag of water, just like that. Snap! The thunder was so loud we could only hear each other speak if we yelled, and the water was streaming down our faces. Sure, it was scary, but I knew I had to be strong for all the little girls and boys…”
Dominic caught Viggo’s eye briefly during his tale of bravado and winked, causing Viggo to stifle a laugh behind his hand.
As Dominic continued to tell the story of his passage to the Americas from Europe, Viggo held up ten fingers to signal ten minutes and nodded in the direction of the stables, getting a nod in return. He wasn’t sure exactly why, but he had a sudden urge to spend some time with the young man, and going out on the horses was the best way to do so. He had to give Dominic a lesson today anyway, and it wouldn’t be smart to start after sundown. Whistling to himself, Viggo headed off towards his own office to collect a few leather satchels that he could use for gathering herbs. He shook his head at his own excuse, remembering Elijah’s woods from that night a couple of weeks ago. Gathering nightshade indeed… like mentor, like student, he thought, chuckling to himself as he stepped into his office and shut the noises of the community behind him out with the door, leaving Viggo to his thoughts.