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fellowshippers2006-03-22 06:21 pm
geniusartist.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2006-03-22 06:21 pm
Pretty Babies
Title: Pretty Babies
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
geniusartist
Pairing: EW/OB
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Pure fluff.
Foraprilkat.
Special thanks to my resident betaqueenbtch.
***
“I’d bet we’d have really pretty babies.”
Elijah blinked owlishly. “What?”
“You and me, Lij,” Orlando tipped a nod towards him. “We'd have pretty babies.”
Elijah rolled his eyes. “Alright, whatever you say.” Wierdo, he added silently. Elijah focused his attention back to the manuscript in his hand.
“Don’t you find me attractive?”
He leaned his head back, folded the manuscript underneath an arm, and counted to five before answering. Game or not game, Elijah briefly considered. Game. Or else I’ll suffer the infamous pout all afternoon.
“What’s this sudden obsession you’ve developed,” Elijah waved his hands back and forth. “You, me, babies?” The last word was said in a higher lilt than the rest and cushioned with a hint of incredulity.
“I don’t really want to have babies with you,” Orlando admitted ruefully. He lifted a glass partially filled with light brown liquid in half-salute before draining it in one, loud gulp.
“I’m heartbroken.”
”I know.”
“So?”
“So.”
Elijah sighed. “Now you play hard to get.”
“I was just thinking…”
“Against your better judgment.”
“Ha-ha. Been hangin’ around Dominic too much. Sarcasm doesn’t really suit you.” It was Orlando’s turn to roll his eyes.
“Jealous?” Elijah shifted in his seat and the angle of his face caught the light from the window. It reflected on to his glasses and the natural blue of his irises almost seemed to glitter. He quirked his upper lip with a jut of his chin.
“What if I am?” Orlando shot back. And I raise you an arched brow.
Elijah scowled in return, leaned back once more and folded his arms. “You’re not, so stop yanking my chain.”
“I can yank something else if you prefer,” Orlando chuckled.
“I would, actually, but since you’re nothing but a tease and you won’t, this entire conversation is a useless exercise.”
“You know me so well?”
It was a statement, yet framed in a question. But Elijah wasn’t fooled. “Unfortunately, I do.”
“Pity.”
“It is.”
…
“Babies?”
“What?”
Elijah was now curious. “What about you and me and babies?”
“Why, Elijah,” Orlando replied in an exaggerated drawl, a hand to his mouth, “I thought you’d never ask,” and batted his eyelashes.
“Answer the question, you fairy!” Elijah laughed and threw a crumpled piece of paper in his direction.
Orlando shrugged. “I was just thinking… Shut up and let me finish. I was just thinking. Y’know, if, say physiologically, either of us were able to have babies, and say we, as in you and I – ”
“There’s no one else in the room, but thank you for the clarification.”
“ – COPULATED,” Orlando continued loudly, “and one of us were to be gifted with the miracle of life, oh stop rolling your eyes, it’s really not that attractive up close and personal. Ow! Stop throwing things at me, I bruise easily.” He flicked unconsciously at his knee. “We’d have really pretty babies. That’s all.” He finished with a shrug.
“Well, that was devastatingly disappointing.”
“There’s that scientific theory about the underpinnings of sexual attraction. Eh, chemistry, it’s called.”
Orlando paused and scratched behind his neck. A small stain of bleach, a stark pinkish white against the dusky gray fabric of his t-shirt, caught his attention. When no more commentary on the “underpinnings of sexual attraction” was forthcoming, Elijah decided to pick up the cue to prod further. He leaned forward again, elbows on his knees this time; he was the perfect image of the avid listener. He knew it was what his dramatic friend was fishing for.
“I’m slightly intrigued. Continue.”
Orlando grinned. He stretched both arms over his head, sighing, and then settled into his professor pose. He completed the look by reaching for the pair of wire frame glasses sitting atop the book on his lap and placing it barely on his nose with an elegant, practiced flourish. Elijah bit his lower lip.
“Well, supposedly, where mutual attraction derives from hormonal impulse, pheromones, such a coupling is ideal in reproducing the most attractive offspring.”
Orlando’s single person audience nodded emphatically.
“Ah. I have heard of that theory.”
“Certainly.”
“What’s the antithesis to that?”
“Pardon?”
Elijah sniggered. “I thought you’d been brushing up on your vocabulary.”
“Wanker.”
“Indeed you have!” Elijah laughed and caught the pillow thrown at him.
“People forced into coupling wouldn’t have as aesthetically pleasing results.” And God help him, he smirked.
“That implies that said people wouldn’t be chemically attracted to each other, regardless of context.”
“True.”
“But if they were, then they’d still produce lovely babies, whether the act of sexual congress was consensual or otherwise.”
“Hmmm. I suppose.” Orlando suddenly shivered.
“Cold?”
“No, just wigged out. Let’s keep the conversation to people fucking in voluntary circumstances.”
“Language, tsk, tsk,” Elijah smiled wryly and shook a finger.
“You like it dirty.”
“You wouldn’t know.”
“I’ve heard…”
“Right. Well rumors are so called for a reason.”
“So you like it not dirty?” Orlando pressed on.
“You’re like a dog with a bone!”
“Woof-woof.”
“What’s with the sudden interest in my sex life?”
“Sudden? I’ve always been interested in your sex life.”
“Intellectually.” Elijah nodded in agreement.
Orlando nodded back.
…
“Do you find me attractive?”
“That’s just stating the obvious.” Orlando removed his glasses, set them on the end table next to the loveseat along with “Letters To A Young Poet.” He picked up his empty glass and walked to the mini bar standing just next to the corner of the fireplace.
“Obvious?”
“I thought you were the quicker one here.”
“Indulge me, then.”
“I told you we’d make pretty babies.”
Elijah nodded. He raised his own empty glass towards Orlando, whose lips twisted into an expression of irony before taking it. “You’re already up.”
The sound of ice scraping against each other and then tinkling against glass drowned Orlando’s mumbling.
“What’s that?” Elijah queried loudly.
“What if my interest isn’t purely intellectual?” Orlando turned and proffered Elijah’s refilled glass. “Cheers.”
“It’s murkier,” Elijah mused, tapping a finger.
“Two parts cola, one part rum. Just followed the recipe.”
Elijah smiled and took a shallow swig. “Wasn’t complaining.”
A sudden bang against the window caused both to turn their heads almost in unison. It swung open and the room was quickly permeated cold with a gust of wind.
“Eh, fuck,” Orlando growled. He strode quickly, an arm shielding him from the attack of rain that blew in with the freezing air. He struggled briefly before managing to shut the window and sighed in relief at the clicking sound as he locked it in place. When he turned, his neutral expression quickly morphed into a scowl as he eyed his very dry counterpart still perched at the edge of his seat, appearing not at all ruffled. “Lot o’ help you were.”
Elijah chuckled and raised his glass. “I was admiring the view.”
“You just didn’t want to get your hair wet, princess.”
“And you look rather dashing with yours. Wet, I mean.”
“Don’t I always?”
“Look dashing? Well, yes, actually. You might as well be named Orlando Dashing Bloom.”
Orlando chuckled. “Might as well.” He shivered. “Now I’m cold.”
Elijah smiled and quickly got to his feet. He deposited his beverage on to the mini bar. “Be back in a mo’. Try not to miss me too much.” And, by God, he blew a kiss. He returned precious seconds later with a hand towel.
“Well, that should sufficiently dry my neck, thank you,” Orlando snorted, but reached for the towel anyway.
“It was the only thing hanging in the bathroom,” Elijah protested. “I’m not going on a scavenger hunt.”
“They wouldn’t care if you did.” Orlando bent at the waist and swung his head forward. He wrapped his head in a pseudo-turban and then posed with a hand on hip. “Still dashing?”
“More.” Elijah giggled, then hiccoughed.
Orlando laughed. “Lightweight.”
“Fairy.”
“Kettle. Black.”
“Yes, well.” Elijah reached an arm and tugged at the collar of Orlando’s shirt. “Best if you take this off, you know.” He nudged his head towards the fireplace. “Sit there for a bit and dry off.”
“If you want to see me naked, all you have to do is ask.” Orlando's hand circled Elijah’s outstretched arm and pulled him within a breath’s distance. The sudden movement dislodged the towel from his head and it fell unceremoniously to their feet. Elijah gaped in surprise. He blinked furiously and then looked down, away, anywhere but into Orlando’s intent stare.
“I don’t…I’m not…” he stuttered softly.
“It isn’t.”
At another pull on his arm, he looked up. Mere inches now separated them. “What?” he choked out, suddenly hot, suddenly awkward. But he didn’t move away.
“My interest…it isn’t purely intellectual.” Orlando whispered and leaned down. “More speculative, I’d say.”
“Spec…” The rest of the word was swallowed into a hot, exploring mouth, a firm, though delicate tongue warred with Elijah’s own. It delved deeper with a grind against his hips and he bent his head back as far as it would go and let the kiss sear his mind blank of all thoughts.
“Babies,” he blurted, breathing ragged when they finally broke off.
“Babies?” Orlando murmured, nuzzling Elijah’s neck. “Mmmm. Kind of tangy.”
“Uhhhhh…” Elijah’s lids fluttered closed. “I’m…right, that’s good… Convinced.”
Orlando pulled away. He looked down at the other man questioningly.
“Our offspring would be quite aesthetically pleasing.” No blinking now from the wide-eyed stare.
“Quite,” Orlando agreed softly against upturned, half-open lips.
Author:
geniusartistPairing: EW/OB
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Pure fluff.
For
aprilkat. Special thanks to my resident beta
queenbtch.***
“I’d bet we’d have really pretty babies.”
Elijah blinked owlishly. “What?”
“You and me, Lij,” Orlando tipped a nod towards him. “We'd have pretty babies.”
Elijah rolled his eyes. “Alright, whatever you say.” Wierdo, he added silently. Elijah focused his attention back to the manuscript in his hand.
“Don’t you find me attractive?”
He leaned his head back, folded the manuscript underneath an arm, and counted to five before answering. Game or not game, Elijah briefly considered. Game. Or else I’ll suffer the infamous pout all afternoon.
“What’s this sudden obsession you’ve developed,” Elijah waved his hands back and forth. “You, me, babies?” The last word was said in a higher lilt than the rest and cushioned with a hint of incredulity.
“I don’t really want to have babies with you,” Orlando admitted ruefully. He lifted a glass partially filled with light brown liquid in half-salute before draining it in one, loud gulp.
“I’m heartbroken.”
”I know.”
“So?”
“So.”
Elijah sighed. “Now you play hard to get.”
“I was just thinking…”
“Against your better judgment.”
“Ha-ha. Been hangin’ around Dominic too much. Sarcasm doesn’t really suit you.” It was Orlando’s turn to roll his eyes.
“Jealous?” Elijah shifted in his seat and the angle of his face caught the light from the window. It reflected on to his glasses and the natural blue of his irises almost seemed to glitter. He quirked his upper lip with a jut of his chin.
“What if I am?” Orlando shot back. And I raise you an arched brow.
Elijah scowled in return, leaned back once more and folded his arms. “You’re not, so stop yanking my chain.”
“I can yank something else if you prefer,” Orlando chuckled.
“I would, actually, but since you’re nothing but a tease and you won’t, this entire conversation is a useless exercise.”
“You know me so well?”
It was a statement, yet framed in a question. But Elijah wasn’t fooled. “Unfortunately, I do.”
“Pity.”
“It is.”
…
“Babies?”
“What?”
Elijah was now curious. “What about you and me and babies?”
“Why, Elijah,” Orlando replied in an exaggerated drawl, a hand to his mouth, “I thought you’d never ask,” and batted his eyelashes.
“Answer the question, you fairy!” Elijah laughed and threw a crumpled piece of paper in his direction.
Orlando shrugged. “I was just thinking… Shut up and let me finish. I was just thinking. Y’know, if, say physiologically, either of us were able to have babies, and say we, as in you and I – ”
“There’s no one else in the room, but thank you for the clarification.”
“ – COPULATED,” Orlando continued loudly, “and one of us were to be gifted with the miracle of life, oh stop rolling your eyes, it’s really not that attractive up close and personal. Ow! Stop throwing things at me, I bruise easily.” He flicked unconsciously at his knee. “We’d have really pretty babies. That’s all.” He finished with a shrug.
“Well, that was devastatingly disappointing.”
“There’s that scientific theory about the underpinnings of sexual attraction. Eh, chemistry, it’s called.”
Orlando paused and scratched behind his neck. A small stain of bleach, a stark pinkish white against the dusky gray fabric of his t-shirt, caught his attention. When no more commentary on the “underpinnings of sexual attraction” was forthcoming, Elijah decided to pick up the cue to prod further. He leaned forward again, elbows on his knees this time; he was the perfect image of the avid listener. He knew it was what his dramatic friend was fishing for.
“I’m slightly intrigued. Continue.”
Orlando grinned. He stretched both arms over his head, sighing, and then settled into his professor pose. He completed the look by reaching for the pair of wire frame glasses sitting atop the book on his lap and placing it barely on his nose with an elegant, practiced flourish. Elijah bit his lower lip.
“Well, supposedly, where mutual attraction derives from hormonal impulse, pheromones, such a coupling is ideal in reproducing the most attractive offspring.”
Orlando’s single person audience nodded emphatically.
“Ah. I have heard of that theory.”
“Certainly.”
“What’s the antithesis to that?”
“Pardon?”
Elijah sniggered. “I thought you’d been brushing up on your vocabulary.”
“Wanker.”
“Indeed you have!” Elijah laughed and caught the pillow thrown at him.
“People forced into coupling wouldn’t have as aesthetically pleasing results.” And God help him, he smirked.
“That implies that said people wouldn’t be chemically attracted to each other, regardless of context.”
“True.”
“But if they were, then they’d still produce lovely babies, whether the act of sexual congress was consensual or otherwise.”
“Hmmm. I suppose.” Orlando suddenly shivered.
“Cold?”
“No, just wigged out. Let’s keep the conversation to people fucking in voluntary circumstances.”
“Language, tsk, tsk,” Elijah smiled wryly and shook a finger.
“You like it dirty.”
“You wouldn’t know.”
“I’ve heard…”
“Right. Well rumors are so called for a reason.”
“So you like it not dirty?” Orlando pressed on.
“You’re like a dog with a bone!”
“Woof-woof.”
“What’s with the sudden interest in my sex life?”
“Sudden? I’ve always been interested in your sex life.”
“Intellectually.” Elijah nodded in agreement.
Orlando nodded back.
…
“Do you find me attractive?”
“That’s just stating the obvious.” Orlando removed his glasses, set them on the end table next to the loveseat along with “Letters To A Young Poet.” He picked up his empty glass and walked to the mini bar standing just next to the corner of the fireplace.
“Obvious?”
“I thought you were the quicker one here.”
“Indulge me, then.”
“I told you we’d make pretty babies.”
Elijah nodded. He raised his own empty glass towards Orlando, whose lips twisted into an expression of irony before taking it. “You’re already up.”
The sound of ice scraping against each other and then tinkling against glass drowned Orlando’s mumbling.
“What’s that?” Elijah queried loudly.
“What if my interest isn’t purely intellectual?” Orlando turned and proffered Elijah’s refilled glass. “Cheers.”
“It’s murkier,” Elijah mused, tapping a finger.
“Two parts cola, one part rum. Just followed the recipe.”
Elijah smiled and took a shallow swig. “Wasn’t complaining.”
A sudden bang against the window caused both to turn their heads almost in unison. It swung open and the room was quickly permeated cold with a gust of wind.
“Eh, fuck,” Orlando growled. He strode quickly, an arm shielding him from the attack of rain that blew in with the freezing air. He struggled briefly before managing to shut the window and sighed in relief at the clicking sound as he locked it in place. When he turned, his neutral expression quickly morphed into a scowl as he eyed his very dry counterpart still perched at the edge of his seat, appearing not at all ruffled. “Lot o’ help you were.”
Elijah chuckled and raised his glass. “I was admiring the view.”
“You just didn’t want to get your hair wet, princess.”
“And you look rather dashing with yours. Wet, I mean.”
“Don’t I always?”
“Look dashing? Well, yes, actually. You might as well be named Orlando Dashing Bloom.”
Orlando chuckled. “Might as well.” He shivered. “Now I’m cold.”
Elijah smiled and quickly got to his feet. He deposited his beverage on to the mini bar. “Be back in a mo’. Try not to miss me too much.” And, by God, he blew a kiss. He returned precious seconds later with a hand towel.
“Well, that should sufficiently dry my neck, thank you,” Orlando snorted, but reached for the towel anyway.
“It was the only thing hanging in the bathroom,” Elijah protested. “I’m not going on a scavenger hunt.”
“They wouldn’t care if you did.” Orlando bent at the waist and swung his head forward. He wrapped his head in a pseudo-turban and then posed with a hand on hip. “Still dashing?”
“More.” Elijah giggled, then hiccoughed.
Orlando laughed. “Lightweight.”
“Fairy.”
“Kettle. Black.”
“Yes, well.” Elijah reached an arm and tugged at the collar of Orlando’s shirt. “Best if you take this off, you know.” He nudged his head towards the fireplace. “Sit there for a bit and dry off.”
“If you want to see me naked, all you have to do is ask.” Orlando's hand circled Elijah’s outstretched arm and pulled him within a breath’s distance. The sudden movement dislodged the towel from his head and it fell unceremoniously to their feet. Elijah gaped in surprise. He blinked furiously and then looked down, away, anywhere but into Orlando’s intent stare.
“I don’t…I’m not…” he stuttered softly.
“It isn’t.”
At another pull on his arm, he looked up. Mere inches now separated them. “What?” he choked out, suddenly hot, suddenly awkward. But he didn’t move away.
“My interest…it isn’t purely intellectual.” Orlando whispered and leaned down. “More speculative, I’d say.”
“Spec…” The rest of the word was swallowed into a hot, exploring mouth, a firm, though delicate tongue warred with Elijah’s own. It delved deeper with a grind against his hips and he bent his head back as far as it would go and let the kiss sear his mind blank of all thoughts.
“Babies,” he blurted, breathing ragged when they finally broke off.
“Babies?” Orlando murmured, nuzzling Elijah’s neck. “Mmmm. Kind of tangy.”
“Uhhhhh…” Elijah’s lids fluttered closed. “I’m…right, that’s good… Convinced.”
Orlando pulled away. He looked down at the other man questioningly.
“Our offspring would be quite aesthetically pleasing.” No blinking now from the wide-eyed stare.
“Quite,” Orlando agreed softly against upturned, half-open lips.
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physicallyintellectually stimulating! ;)loved it. thanks so much for sharing!
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pull over baby, i need to see your snogging license. ;)
*SNOGS*
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*GETS SNOGGED!OMG!*
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*more snogs*
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And if you don't, then it's hot, sweet and funny.
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I'll also take hot, sweet and funny. Thanks!
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Glad you enjoyed this.
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and this:
“I’ve heard…”
i don't know what that was so hot, but it was.
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I admit, I loved them as my OTP before I fell head over heels for Domlijah.
*sighs in nostalgia*
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i had no idea! we snatched up a good one!
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And this one is a lovely word picture.
cheers
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I'm glad you enjoyed this.
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Speaking of babies, have you seen this manip (http://roqui.livejournal.com/8795.html?view=128859#t128859)? Their baby, all grown-up *grins* And if you scroll further down in the comments, you'll see their better-looking second son.
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Thank you for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed this! (And I'll be sure to check out the manip when it loads up faster!) :D
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That's a lot of fics indeed!
:-)