fellowshippers | (no subject)

Not titled really, but I was listening to Toad the Wet Sprocket when I wrote it and a line from their song before you were born seems kind of appropriate: "god damn the wounds that show how deep a word can cut". There's a bit of cursing, so I guess it's PG?

I should really teach my mouth to wait for my brain. Hurting someone, however unintentional, sucks. I've apologized. I hope it's enough. How can someone so beautiful and and kind and gentle and generous genuinely believe she's stupid? That makes me so sad.

Anyway...somewhat inspired by life, I give you this little bit of Orlijah...

A giggle explodes with exhaled smoke, "God, you're so stupid!" And Elijah regrets he's said it the moment it leaves his mouth.

He sees it land, hit it's mark. A brief flicker of something long burried flares to life at the back of Orlando's eyes before it slides away in an uneasy jerking of his shoulder. An attempt at a smile fails with a soft "I guess," instead, directed to the dirt beneath Elijah's feet.

Elijah's brow creases in a frown as he flicks away the remains of his cigarette and tries to figure out what the hell just happened. He waits for the good natured insult, the snappy come back. "Orli? I was just joking, man. Yanking your chain. You know you're so lame, you loser...fucking mard-arse... (and Elijah waits for the usual snort that follows his every attempt to work Britishisms into the conversation).

But Orlando doesn't laugh. In the same soft voice he says, "Sure, Lijah," while poking at a dried-out patch of crabgrass with his boot toe. He bites his lip and blinks quickly, and Elijah swears he can actually see Orlando fold in on himself, shutting down. And in that same moment Elijah feels something he can't quite name take flight within him--like pigeons disturbed at their pecking: a worried, startled panic.

"'Cause I was. Just kidding, I mean. You know that, right?" Elijah drops down in front of the half-hewn log Orlando is sitting on. His knees disturb the sand, and a little puff of dust rises between the two men. "Right?" He ducks his head to try and catch Orlando's down-turned gaze. His hands reach out and stop, just short of coming to rest on the neoprene-covered lengths of Orlando's thighs. Instead, Elijah rests back onto his haunches and steaples them in his lap.

Orlando doesn't answer. He won't return Elijah's gaze. Instead he turns his head to stare at the rising tide. Still biting his lip, he again hitches his shoulder and says "Right."

Elijah does rest his hands gently on Orlando's thighs, now. "Christ! You don't think you're stupid, do you? Do you?" Elijah raises a hand and cups Orlando's jaw, exherting gentle pressure and forcing Orlando to look at him. "Shit. You do! Oh...Orli." Pitching his weight forward, Elijah throws his arms aroud the sitting man's neck, pulling him into a tight embrace.

Taking a breath before exhaling slowly, Orlando speaks in calm measured tones. "It's okay, Lij. I'm not smart. I know that. I just..." Whatever Olando is about to say is lost in a flurry of small, panicked kisses Elijah is pressing to his forehead, his eyes, his nose.

Elijah stops and draws back. He gives Orlando's shoulders an angry shake. "Fuck that shit, man! You're smart! Don't look at me like that! You are. I'm an asshole. I say shit and don't think about it..." Elijah again hugs Orlando tightly to him. "It's like that thing, that theory; Mulitple Intelligences. You know?" Elijah is stroking Orlando's back, rocking the two of them back and forth and back and forth on the rough-barked surface of the log. "You can paint and draw, and you're funny as hell, and you make people feel really, reallly good. And shit man, you have entire books memorized. That's way the fuck more impressive than high school GPAs or, like, algebra or whatever."

"Lij! Elijah!" Orlando stills Elijah by pulling him in close, trapping the smaller man tight against his side.

"I mean I know I never did high school but..."

Orlando gently touches a finger to Elijah's lips, silencing him. "I said it's all right, Lijah. It's just...I dunno, you make me wanna be, like, smarter, or whatever. Just...better...you know?"

"You are! You are!" Elijah stays where he is, one arm wrapped tight around Orlando's waist, head resting in the curve of a broad shoulder. "I'm so sorry I hurt you."

"Okay. Now let's just forget about it, all right?" Elijah can hear the beginning of a smile in Orlando's voice.

"Okay."

Elijah feels Orlando's shoulder hitch and bunch under his cheek, laughing. "Mard-arse?" Orlando snorts.

"Yeah! Dom taught me that one."

Orlando snorts out a chuckle and rubs his cheek against the softness of Elijah's hair. "Remind me to have a talk with Dominic."

"Okay."

"Okay. Now c'mon. Surf's up!" Orlando takes Elijah's hand. Yanking him to his feet, they run headlong into the waves.