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The Luckiest Dog in the World -21
Salutations from colorful Colorado, where the days are long, the thunderstorms big, and the sky blue. Sidi has stopped moping about being left behind while his Alpha Male and his Bitch are in Australia, and he’s shared another one of his adventures with me for typing, so I’m happy to share with you:
Title: Crazy House Den!
Series: The Luckiest Dog in the World - 21
Author: Pecos – PecosPhil@sprintmail.com
Website: http://www.chimerafic.com
Rating: PG – some adult language, innuendo
Feedback: remember the golden rule, (please!)
Disclaimer: I don’t make the toys, I’m
only playing with them. No money made,
nor disrespect intended
Who’s in it?: Orlando Bloom, his Dog, his pals...
Note: Please forgive any intentional or
unintentional abuse of facts and history.
Summary: Sidi is Orlando’s dog, and he’s got a
story to tell
Crazy House Den!
Hello again to all the Nice People who aren’t here where I am at, but you are reading about my stories where you are at, so it’s like we’re in the same place after all! Stories and telling can make the space between us go away and then we’re all one Really Big Pack, and that’s a Good Thing!
I’m sure you remember that I was telling the story about how Chemical-smell Man Viggo came to the Shat-oh Place and got my Alpha Male Orlando and me to go with him. We left the Shat-oh right away. I got a couple more Treats! from the girls at the Pool as we were taking the People Stuff out to Viggo’s Car. Viggo’s car is called a Truck, and this means that we all sit together in the one seat and I had to stand on my Alpha’s lap to get my nose out of the window and he kept saying that my claws were getting too long and making me lay down or sit between them. This was completely Unfair because it’s not My fault those claws get long like that! I get yelled at if I chew on them in the middle of the night.
Anyhow, we finally got to Viggo’s Place and this is the Crazy House Den that we’ve been to before and this is a Good Place! The Alphas were moving too slow so I ran inside and Surprise! there was a Cat! in there! I Barked! at that Cat! and it ran away up high on the tall cold box and looked down at me like it didn’t think I could get to it up there! But I could if I really wanted to! I Barked! the *I’m going to Get You!* bark until my Alpha told me to ‘Shut up!’ which was also Unfair! I decided that I’d warned that Cat! enough about not hurting my Alpha or doing Sneaky Stuff when I wasn’t watching, so I ran off to Inspect the house.
There was another Surprise! in one of the rooms. It was Viggo’s boy-pup, who is called Henry by People, but I will remember him as Smells-like-Viggo soft Voice Kid with Food! who plays music out of his ears. He smiled to see me and knew my name, so I think that maybe he can do Tricks and stuff like his Stud does. Henry petted me and let me check all over his floor for Stuff to Eat, of which there was Lots, and then Henry scratched my belly and rubbed my ears. I don’t usually let strangers to me scratch my belly, but this was Viggo’s boy-pup, so I knew that he was in our Pack already. Besides, he had some bits of pizza under the bed!
Henry said we should play a Game! and he put some cloth that smelled of Viggo’s crotch around my butt, and he laughed so I knew it was funny! I smelled like Viggo’s butt now, which is a great idea! I ran off to find my Alpha to show him how I could smell like an Alpha too! My Alpha Orlando thought it was Very Funny and it made me happy to hear him laughing again for the first time in almost Forever!
Then that Evil Cat! jumped down and Ran Away outside, so I Had to Chase it! We ran all over the neighborhood before I lost sight of that Cat! and my Alpha finally got hold of my collar and took the Viggo cloth off of my butt. I hope he didn’t throw that cloth away in the Trash, because I’d be happy to keep it with my Toys! or maybe sleep with it. Viggo’s smell is one of my favorite things in the whole world. Orlando was tired from chasing me, but he let me Mark and make a shit before we went back inside so that the other Dogs in the area would know that I was back again.
There’s a great spot in the Crazy Den to be out of the way behind a chair in the big messy room, so I slept there for a while to get my energy back. I knew I might need some energy! And then my Alpha Viggo took me for a Walk on the Beach! and I got to run in the sand. We played Throw the Stick Away and Magic Floating Plate and lots of Girls came around to talk to Viggo and Admire his handsome Dog!
When we were walking Viggo was making me stop pulling on the lead, telling me that Good Dogs do something called ‘heel’, which sounds pretty suspicious to me. He got a bottle of water for me to drink and it was nice, clean and cold, so I drank it all. Then I had lots of piss to Mark trees and poles and stuff in places I’ve never been to before. He said that my Alpha Orlando needed some ‘rest’, so we walked along some streets and then got Food in a bag from a Food Place.
We walked home and my Alpha Orlando was sleeping in the big messy room. I went over to nuzzle him Hello! and he cuddled me with one arm. I climbed up on the Okay to Sit on Couch and my Alpha let me lie on his chest. After a little while Viggo had the Food put out for People Eating Time so my Alpha got up. I didn’t get any of that Food, which was really Not Nice. “Indian makes gives him dire-yehaw,” Orlando said. I don’t know what that’s all about, but that Food smelled so good, and I *Had* gone on walkies to get it with Viggo, so Not Fair! But then my Crunchy Good Things came so I didn’t starve to death.
After dinner Viggo went into the flat things and papers room and made more mess. He put music in the air and asked my Alpha to take his clothes off and be still. Orlando did this thing, and I sat and watched while Viggo made paper marks. His marks never look like anything to me, but Viggo likes making them. He splashed chemicals onto the paper and made strange motions with his hands, smearing stuff. I went over there and tasted one of the chemicals. It was nasty, just like it smells. Viggo laughed at me and rubbed my muzzle with a cloth, saying that “yellow isn’t your color, Sidi.” More marks, more sitting there being still. This was very boring to watch, so I searched the rest of the Crazy Den for Food on the floors and laid down on Henry’s bed to take a nap.
When I woke up for piss-making the People were drinking stinky wine and eating cheese, which I like a Lot!, and I got some Treats!. It was getting dark. Orlando Alpha took me out and the night smelled like rain would come. Outsider Dogs were Barking *Hello!* all over the Lost Angeles. I *Helloed!* too a couple of times, but got told “Shush!” because Good Dogs don’t make a Racket. When we came back inside I found some things that smelled like a Horse!, so I laid down there to wait for whatever was going to happen next, and I guess I fell asleep again.
I woke up suddenly when there was a Huge Noise and the House Shook! Boom! Crack!
There must have been a giant Invisible Monster Thing outside banging on the Crazy Den! I jumped up and ran through the rooms with my tail between my legs because this monster must be Huge to grab a house and shake it! There was bright light flashing at the windows, which must mean Pupper-Nazis had found us too, so extra Bad! I thought maybe the Monster would Eat the Pupper-Nazis! and then try to eat the House!
Flash! Crack! Shake! I yelped because maybe the Monster was trying to get inside! I found my Alphas on the floor in the bed place, and I was Scared for a moment that the Invisible Monster Thing had hurt them, but they seemed okay. I climbed into my Orlando’s arms so I could Protect! him from the Monster, and he held me tight! He knew I was there to save him, and he said Nice words to me and let me know that he wasn’t scared of Invisible House-shaking Monsters and Pupper-Nazis!
He’s So Brave! He told me it was Okay, even though it really wasn’t with all that Loud Noise and Shaking!
I’m not as Brave as my Alphas. I ended up crawling underneath the bed, and I wanted my Alphas to climb under with me, but they were showing how Brave they are by watching the flashes of light and talking like there was nothing wrong. Then, if it wasn’t Bad enough that the Crazy Den was being attacked, it started to rain too! And still the Monster made noise and shook the house! What a night! WoW!
That Invisible Monster Thing never did get inside. The Crazy House Den must be very a very special Place to keep Monsters out! Eventually it went away, getting smaller and smaller as it got tired. I came out from under the bed to find my Alphas sleeping like puppies, all tangled together. I crawled up on the bed to be there in case they needed Protection, but they seemed to be doing pretty good with just the two of them. So I slept too, ‘cause I’m good at that as well.
In the morning my Alpha Orlando said he had to go to ‘work’, which means Playing. I wanted to go too. Alpha Viggo said “take your mutt so I can get some work done! I’m not your dog-sitter!” This means that Viggo loves me so much he wants to be sure I stay with my Special Alpha All Day! Orlando laughed and told me to go find my leash. This is my lead, and it means we’re going together! I ran to the Sidi Bag and got my lead and brought it back with my whole butt wagging.
So we went to the big empty inside buildings Place called Studio and there were People there that I know from the Play Pack! Big Man of the Grass-shoes was there, who is named Cameron, and I like him. He’s funny. He was singing a song and making a lot of noise and being Happy to see Me and My Alpha. Cameron was very glad about how the Playing was turning out, and he said he was So Proud of my Alpha! Orlando made the Happy body language even though he was trying not to show how excited he was with the Praise and Admiring.
Mean-behind-your-back Woman Curse-tin was there too, but she wasn’t being mean to me anymore, so I decided we could be Friends. She smelled of a big Dog who must like her a lot. I guess if she has a Dog Pack too then I should forgive her for that time that she pushed me. Us Dogs can be very forgiving. I would like to meet her Dog – maybe we could Play together!
My favorite Person from the Play Pack is Fixes-Things Guy, who is called Mike, and he had a whole box of Treats! waiting for me and he Played with me and took me for walks to make piss and shit when I needed to do that. There aren’t many good places to do that Important Stuff in a Studio Place, but Mike knew where to look and I had to make do with what little grass we could find. Mike doesn’t ever make a Big Deal out of it when I take a while to pick just the right spot for a shit, unlike Some People I know. Sometimes I think that my Alpha Bitch Kate doesn’t know anything about leaving a proper shit.
Orlando was saying things to People and making faces and moving the same way over and over, which is part of how these People make Play. It seems kinda silly to me, but what do I know? I’m just the Dog.
I was getting my ears scratched by a man who smelled of the meat they call pastrami when a big rolling thing came across the floor dragging some guys and it was really, really tall. I was keeping an eye on it, and they guys it had been dragging around were talking and hooking the thing’s lead to other leads, and then suddenly it hummed and made a Huge Light from the top and the whole big room was Bright, just like the windows had been the night before when the Invisible Monster Thing was attacking the Crazy Den House! Maybe this was one of those Monsters! I jumped up and started Barking! the *I’m going to Get You!* bark just in case this Thing was dangerous!
People came from all over to see what I was warning them about. My Alpha came running over, probably because he knew that even if the Thing attacked I would be there to Protect him! Mike was yelling that he didn’t knew what to do and I thought about maybe grabbing one of the Thing’s leads and pulling, but My Alpha took me by the collar and dragged me outside. My hackles were up! and I was ready to fight!
“Calm down!” My Alpha ordered, and I had to stop growling. He got down low to pet me and whisper his Secrets, and he kissed my muzzle like he does and told me I was a “Good Boy!” I stopped thinking about Monsters and my tail wagged a little. “Bad night?” Orlando asked me.
He doesn’t know much about Invisible Monsters, I guess.
We went back inside the big empty building again, and the Pack went back to Playing, but I was busy keeping an eye on that Thing with the Huge Light coming from it. People walked by it like there was nothing wrong, but I knew better! I could hear it humming to itself and making evil Plans! Curse-tin brought me a bite of Ice Cream, and I ate it without forgetting to Protect and Guard.
It was getting really late and I was thinking about going Home to the Crazy Den and eating my Crunchy Good Things. Cameron was talking to Orlando and some Other People when I heard a little cry from the Thing. It moved a bit, all by itself! Sneaky Thing! I started Barking! again. Cameron turned around and glared at me. My Alpha was making a face and rolling his eyes. I Barked! louder when the Thing moved a little bit more. It was still making that huge Light but now it was leaning over toward the People.
I Ran forward Barking! the BIG SERIOUS BARK! and my Alpha came toward me, along with the other People. I darted away and the People moved just as the Thing lunged and came down to the hard ground with a Big Crash! like last night’s noises and shaking! Stuff broke and flew through the air and someone started screaming! The Thing died there on the floor where it had tried to Attack! and the light went away. I Barked! the *I’m going to Get You!* bark and Growled at it just to be sure.
My Alpha was Very Scared when he reached me, and he picked me up in his arms. He was shaking. He told me I was a “Very, Very Good Boy!” I growled at the dead Thing and then let my Alpha know it was okay again.
That night I got to eat something called steak. It’s Good! You should have some too!
Title: Crazy House Den!
Series: The Luckiest Dog in the World - 21
Author: Pecos – PecosPhil@sprintmail.com
Website: http://www.chimerafic.com
Rating: PG – some adult language, innuendo
Feedback: remember the golden rule, (please!)
Disclaimer: I don’t make the toys, I’m
only playing with them. No money made,
nor disrespect intended
Who’s in it?: Orlando Bloom, his Dog, his pals...
Note: Please forgive any intentional or
unintentional abuse of facts and history.
Summary: Sidi is Orlando’s dog, and he’s got a
story to tell
Crazy House Den!
Hello again to all the Nice People who aren’t here where I am at, but you are reading about my stories where you are at, so it’s like we’re in the same place after all! Stories and telling can make the space between us go away and then we’re all one Really Big Pack, and that’s a Good Thing!
I’m sure you remember that I was telling the story about how Chemical-smell Man Viggo came to the Shat-oh Place and got my Alpha Male Orlando and me to go with him. We left the Shat-oh right away. I got a couple more Treats! from the girls at the Pool as we were taking the People Stuff out to Viggo’s Car. Viggo’s car is called a Truck, and this means that we all sit together in the one seat and I had to stand on my Alpha’s lap to get my nose out of the window and he kept saying that my claws were getting too long and making me lay down or sit between them. This was completely Unfair because it’s not My fault those claws get long like that! I get yelled at if I chew on them in the middle of the night.
Anyhow, we finally got to Viggo’s Place and this is the Crazy House Den that we’ve been to before and this is a Good Place! The Alphas were moving too slow so I ran inside and Surprise! there was a Cat! in there! I Barked! at that Cat! and it ran away up high on the tall cold box and looked down at me like it didn’t think I could get to it up there! But I could if I really wanted to! I Barked! the *I’m going to Get You!* bark until my Alpha told me to ‘Shut up!’ which was also Unfair! I decided that I’d warned that Cat! enough about not hurting my Alpha or doing Sneaky Stuff when I wasn’t watching, so I ran off to Inspect the house.
There was another Surprise! in one of the rooms. It was Viggo’s boy-pup, who is called Henry by People, but I will remember him as Smells-like-Viggo soft Voice Kid with Food! who plays music out of his ears. He smiled to see me and knew my name, so I think that maybe he can do Tricks and stuff like his Stud does. Henry petted me and let me check all over his floor for Stuff to Eat, of which there was Lots, and then Henry scratched my belly and rubbed my ears. I don’t usually let strangers to me scratch my belly, but this was Viggo’s boy-pup, so I knew that he was in our Pack already. Besides, he had some bits of pizza under the bed!
Henry said we should play a Game! and he put some cloth that smelled of Viggo’s crotch around my butt, and he laughed so I knew it was funny! I smelled like Viggo’s butt now, which is a great idea! I ran off to find my Alpha to show him how I could smell like an Alpha too! My Alpha Orlando thought it was Very Funny and it made me happy to hear him laughing again for the first time in almost Forever!
Then that Evil Cat! jumped down and Ran Away outside, so I Had to Chase it! We ran all over the neighborhood before I lost sight of that Cat! and my Alpha finally got hold of my collar and took the Viggo cloth off of my butt. I hope he didn’t throw that cloth away in the Trash, because I’d be happy to keep it with my Toys! or maybe sleep with it. Viggo’s smell is one of my favorite things in the whole world. Orlando was tired from chasing me, but he let me Mark and make a shit before we went back inside so that the other Dogs in the area would know that I was back again.
There’s a great spot in the Crazy Den to be out of the way behind a chair in the big messy room, so I slept there for a while to get my energy back. I knew I might need some energy! And then my Alpha Viggo took me for a Walk on the Beach! and I got to run in the sand. We played Throw the Stick Away and Magic Floating Plate and lots of Girls came around to talk to Viggo and Admire his handsome Dog!
When we were walking Viggo was making me stop pulling on the lead, telling me that Good Dogs do something called ‘heel’, which sounds pretty suspicious to me. He got a bottle of water for me to drink and it was nice, clean and cold, so I drank it all. Then I had lots of piss to Mark trees and poles and stuff in places I’ve never been to before. He said that my Alpha Orlando needed some ‘rest’, so we walked along some streets and then got Food in a bag from a Food Place.
We walked home and my Alpha Orlando was sleeping in the big messy room. I went over to nuzzle him Hello! and he cuddled me with one arm. I climbed up on the Okay to Sit on Couch and my Alpha let me lie on his chest. After a little while Viggo had the Food put out for People Eating Time so my Alpha got up. I didn’t get any of that Food, which was really Not Nice. “Indian makes gives him dire-yehaw,” Orlando said. I don’t know what that’s all about, but that Food smelled so good, and I *Had* gone on walkies to get it with Viggo, so Not Fair! But then my Crunchy Good Things came so I didn’t starve to death.
After dinner Viggo went into the flat things and papers room and made more mess. He put music in the air and asked my Alpha to take his clothes off and be still. Orlando did this thing, and I sat and watched while Viggo made paper marks. His marks never look like anything to me, but Viggo likes making them. He splashed chemicals onto the paper and made strange motions with his hands, smearing stuff. I went over there and tasted one of the chemicals. It was nasty, just like it smells. Viggo laughed at me and rubbed my muzzle with a cloth, saying that “yellow isn’t your color, Sidi.” More marks, more sitting there being still. This was very boring to watch, so I searched the rest of the Crazy Den for Food on the floors and laid down on Henry’s bed to take a nap.
When I woke up for piss-making the People were drinking stinky wine and eating cheese, which I like a Lot!, and I got some Treats!. It was getting dark. Orlando Alpha took me out and the night smelled like rain would come. Outsider Dogs were Barking *Hello!* all over the Lost Angeles. I *Helloed!* too a couple of times, but got told “Shush!” because Good Dogs don’t make a Racket. When we came back inside I found some things that smelled like a Horse!, so I laid down there to wait for whatever was going to happen next, and I guess I fell asleep again.
I woke up suddenly when there was a Huge Noise and the House Shook! Boom! Crack!
There must have been a giant Invisible Monster Thing outside banging on the Crazy Den! I jumped up and ran through the rooms with my tail between my legs because this monster must be Huge to grab a house and shake it! There was bright light flashing at the windows, which must mean Pupper-Nazis had found us too, so extra Bad! I thought maybe the Monster would Eat the Pupper-Nazis! and then try to eat the House!
Flash! Crack! Shake! I yelped because maybe the Monster was trying to get inside! I found my Alphas on the floor in the bed place, and I was Scared for a moment that the Invisible Monster Thing had hurt them, but they seemed okay. I climbed into my Orlando’s arms so I could Protect! him from the Monster, and he held me tight! He knew I was there to save him, and he said Nice words to me and let me know that he wasn’t scared of Invisible House-shaking Monsters and Pupper-Nazis!
He’s So Brave! He told me it was Okay, even though it really wasn’t with all that Loud Noise and Shaking!
I’m not as Brave as my Alphas. I ended up crawling underneath the bed, and I wanted my Alphas to climb under with me, but they were showing how Brave they are by watching the flashes of light and talking like there was nothing wrong. Then, if it wasn’t Bad enough that the Crazy Den was being attacked, it started to rain too! And still the Monster made noise and shook the house! What a night! WoW!
That Invisible Monster Thing never did get inside. The Crazy House Den must be very a very special Place to keep Monsters out! Eventually it went away, getting smaller and smaller as it got tired. I came out from under the bed to find my Alphas sleeping like puppies, all tangled together. I crawled up on the bed to be there in case they needed Protection, but they seemed to be doing pretty good with just the two of them. So I slept too, ‘cause I’m good at that as well.
In the morning my Alpha Orlando said he had to go to ‘work’, which means Playing. I wanted to go too. Alpha Viggo said “take your mutt so I can get some work done! I’m not your dog-sitter!” This means that Viggo loves me so much he wants to be sure I stay with my Special Alpha All Day! Orlando laughed and told me to go find my leash. This is my lead, and it means we’re going together! I ran to the Sidi Bag and got my lead and brought it back with my whole butt wagging.
So we went to the big empty inside buildings Place called Studio and there were People there that I know from the Play Pack! Big Man of the Grass-shoes was there, who is named Cameron, and I like him. He’s funny. He was singing a song and making a lot of noise and being Happy to see Me and My Alpha. Cameron was very glad about how the Playing was turning out, and he said he was So Proud of my Alpha! Orlando made the Happy body language even though he was trying not to show how excited he was with the Praise and Admiring.
Mean-behind-your-back Woman Curse-tin was there too, but she wasn’t being mean to me anymore, so I decided we could be Friends. She smelled of a big Dog who must like her a lot. I guess if she has a Dog Pack too then I should forgive her for that time that she pushed me. Us Dogs can be very forgiving. I would like to meet her Dog – maybe we could Play together!
My favorite Person from the Play Pack is Fixes-Things Guy, who is called Mike, and he had a whole box of Treats! waiting for me and he Played with me and took me for walks to make piss and shit when I needed to do that. There aren’t many good places to do that Important Stuff in a Studio Place, but Mike knew where to look and I had to make do with what little grass we could find. Mike doesn’t ever make a Big Deal out of it when I take a while to pick just the right spot for a shit, unlike Some People I know. Sometimes I think that my Alpha Bitch Kate doesn’t know anything about leaving a proper shit.
Orlando was saying things to People and making faces and moving the same way over and over, which is part of how these People make Play. It seems kinda silly to me, but what do I know? I’m just the Dog.
I was getting my ears scratched by a man who smelled of the meat they call pastrami when a big rolling thing came across the floor dragging some guys and it was really, really tall. I was keeping an eye on it, and they guys it had been dragging around were talking and hooking the thing’s lead to other leads, and then suddenly it hummed and made a Huge Light from the top and the whole big room was Bright, just like the windows had been the night before when the Invisible Monster Thing was attacking the Crazy Den House! Maybe this was one of those Monsters! I jumped up and started Barking! the *I’m going to Get You!* bark just in case this Thing was dangerous!
People came from all over to see what I was warning them about. My Alpha came running over, probably because he knew that even if the Thing attacked I would be there to Protect him! Mike was yelling that he didn’t knew what to do and I thought about maybe grabbing one of the Thing’s leads and pulling, but My Alpha took me by the collar and dragged me outside. My hackles were up! and I was ready to fight!
“Calm down!” My Alpha ordered, and I had to stop growling. He got down low to pet me and whisper his Secrets, and he kissed my muzzle like he does and told me I was a “Good Boy!” I stopped thinking about Monsters and my tail wagged a little. “Bad night?” Orlando asked me.
He doesn’t know much about Invisible Monsters, I guess.
We went back inside the big empty building again, and the Pack went back to Playing, but I was busy keeping an eye on that Thing with the Huge Light coming from it. People walked by it like there was nothing wrong, but I knew better! I could hear it humming to itself and making evil Plans! Curse-tin brought me a bite of Ice Cream, and I ate it without forgetting to Protect and Guard.
It was getting really late and I was thinking about going Home to the Crazy Den and eating my Crunchy Good Things. Cameron was talking to Orlando and some Other People when I heard a little cry from the Thing. It moved a bit, all by itself! Sneaky Thing! I started Barking! again. Cameron turned around and glared at me. My Alpha was making a face and rolling his eyes. I Barked! louder when the Thing moved a little bit more. It was still making that huge Light but now it was leaning over toward the People.
I Ran forward Barking! the BIG SERIOUS BARK! and my Alpha came toward me, along with the other People. I darted away and the People moved just as the Thing lunged and came down to the hard ground with a Big Crash! like last night’s noises and shaking! Stuff broke and flew through the air and someone started screaming! The Thing died there on the floor where it had tried to Attack! and the light went away. I Barked! the *I’m going to Get You!* bark and Growled at it just to be sure.
My Alpha was Very Scared when he reached me, and he picked me up in his arms. He was shaking. He told me I was a “Very, Very Good Boy!” I growled at the dead Thing and then let my Alpha know it was okay again.
That night I got to eat something called steak. It’s Good! You should have some too!
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As to how I got the idea, that was easy. The first time I saw a photo of Sidi in his daddy's arms I said to myself "that's the luckiest dog in the world!" You just think about all the stuff that dog's seen, and it was obvious that he'd have some interesting tales to tell. Of course it was a bit harder to learn psychic pet biography so I could write it, but he's gotten much better at telling stories as they go along and he's got a bit of a flair for drama, so Sidi's Stories were born. If you're reading them on my lj you'll also find that Sidi answers his own fan mail on my lj.
Thank you very much for commenting.
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