ext_243582 (
buggerthis22.livejournal.com) wrote in
fellowshippers2005-05-28 07:32 pm
Drabbles, Ficlets, and a poem
So I wrote a whole bunch of stuff a REALLY long time ago... and I thought I'd post them here... they are all diff. pairings... but each one says what they are... except 'String' which is only a mention of Orlijah
Victim- Monaboyd
"What the shite does that mean?" Billy scowls at Dom.
"It means all you ever do is be mean to me!" Dom screams.
"You always make this about you!" Billy moves closer, shouting in Dom's face.
"It is about me!" Dom retorts.
But he knows it's not. He just likes playing the victim with Billy. He loves getting the Scot worked up, forcing Billy to continue talking to him. All he can think at the moment though is how badly he wants to shove his lips to the other man's. Billy is always so hot when he's pissed; his Scottish accent seems to get thicker when lined with rage.
"It's not about you!" Billy grabs Dom by the shoulders.
"Then why did you say it?" He demands, ignoring the vivid pictures that instantly fill his mind.
"Because I fucking love you!" Billy shouts before he can stop the words leaving his lips. The funny thing is, all he can think is that he's talking like Elijah now.
I know why I keep playing the victim
Cuz these precious illusions in my head
Did not let me down when I was defenseless
Parting with them is like parting with invisible best friends
Lips shove together before Billy realizes what's happening.
A voice in the back of his brain registers that he's kissing Dom.
He's fucking kissing Dominic Monaghan.
Love of his life and best mate, Dominic Monaghan.
The sucking sensation hits, and Billy notes that he's already surrendered his tongue over to Dom's mouth.
It's all downhill from there.
A forbidden love.
A tragic romance, really.
But Billy doesn't care anymore.
He's moving in and out of Dom, and that's really all that matters.
He's making love to Dom, and that's all he really cares about.
One thing's for sure: Dom won't be allowed to play the victim anymore.
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Utopia- Domlijah
They call it Utopia.
No Place.
That's the only way to describe their relationship.
It doesn't fit where it should. It doesn't belong when it should. And it doesn't make any sense.
They call it Utopia, the time they spend together, laying in the post-orgasm haze.
Perhaps it's all about the way they've been forced to bond.
It doesn't make sense, but it's their paradise.
Without words, they stay together.
They steal chaste kisses in clubs before heading home to make love.
They call it Utopia.
No place.
It has no place in their lives, but they keep doing it.
It's a rush, the whorlwind of emotions. They don't care if it doesn't fit. They don't care if it's doomed to fail. They just want to live in the moment. And they do.
They call it Utopia.
No place.
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The Passing of an Age- Orlijah
It's tiring. That's for sure.
Elijah and Orlando both know it.
They both feel it.
Like they know it's all about to change.
Like they know that Elijah will get on his plane tomorrow and leave for L.A.
Like they realize that filming is finally over.
No more pick-ups. No more reshoots. It's done.
All they can do is cling to each other this one last night together.
There's no love making.
They just want to be together.
So they are.
"Lij...?" Orlando breaks the silence.
"Hmm?" Elijah's vocal cords sound rough for lack of use.
"What...?"
"Don't."
"But..."
"Just sleep, baby," Elijah coos. "Don't think about this. It doesn't matter."
"I think it does."
"Baby," Elijah sighs, and his eyes flutter closed, "let's just save it. Let's not worry about tomorrow. I want to enjoy this now."
Orlando agrees, but knows that Elijah is saying goodbye.
He always knew it couldn't last.
They had reputations to think of, after all.
But they were in love.
And that worked for now.
So Orlando closes his eyes and falls asleep, for the last time, beside the man he loves.
Good night, my angel
Time to close your eyes
And save the questions for another day
I think I know what you've been asking me
I think you know what I've been trying to say
I promised I would never leave you
Where ever you may go
No matter where you are
I never will be far away
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Moving On- Viggo/Orli
Orlando studied the package on the counter closely.
"What's this?" He asked.
"Nothing," Viggo rubbed his neck and half-shrugged.
"Sure..." Orlando rolled his eyes. "Why don't you ever tell me anything?"
"Here's something," Viggo whispered, leaning on Orlando, "I love you."
"Mmm..." Orlando breathed in Viggo's sent and closed his eyes. "That I'll accept."
*
Goodbyes were not a talent Orlando posessed. He usually ended up making a fool of himself and never being able to express how much he'll miss the said leaver.
That day was no acception.
Viggo was leaving. Probably leaving Orlando's life forever.
The day was a blur. A random bout of kissing and hugging and tears.
Billy said goodbye. Dom said goodbye. Elijah said goodbye. They all said goodbye.
What other choice did Orlando have?
He said goodbye. Sort of.
"I'll... uh... see ya... hopefully. Maybe. Someday," He shrugged, hands wedged into his pockets.
And that was all he got to say.
Viggo was embraced by Fran and Phillippa and then boarding the plane.
Gone.
Orlando looked at the package he'd been thrust right before Viggo's figure dissapear.
*
He didn't open it for days, afraid of what was in it.
It sat on his kitchen table, taunting him.
He finally broke down.
Orlando tore open the package.
It was a book.
A leather-bound book.
A hand-written, leather-bound book.
He flipped it open and read madly.
And these are the last words I have to say
It's always hard to say goodbye
But now it's time to put this book away
Ain't that the story of my life?
The last words stood out on the page.
They were big and bold and loud.
Orlando was sure a blind guy could read them.
Nothing about the loudness of the words stopped the way they made him feel, though.
I Love You
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Artiste- Charlie Hunnam/Elijah Wood (Charlijah as I call it)
Elijah was an artist.
Or an artiste as he perfered.
Charlie was a model.
Or a manly man as he perferred.
So I guess it wasn't a suprise that they would end up in Elijah's living room, Charlie fucking alltheway, white-ass, butt fucking naked.
He was a model. This was simply his job.
But he was sure when Elijah's lips first brushed his, that it was way more than just work.
So they starting seeing each other. And not just in their nude modeling sessions. They started dating.
Charlie wouldn't let Elijah touch his naked body, no matter how his blue eyes begged.
Elijah wouldn't let Charlie see his work, it seemed like a fair trade.
Then they started falling apart, going in seperate directions.
Elijah blamed "artistic differences" but he knew he was avoiding Charlie because of his feelings.
Blonde over blue... your hands are cold
your eyes are fire
Blonde over blue... they shine as though
you're burning inside
One word is all I need from you
to be inspired
Blonde over blue... I need your
inspiration tonight
But how'd they end up there that night?
How did the confession happen?
"I love you," Elijah confessed.
"I want you to..." Charlie couldn't finish his sentance.
"What? Please name it; I'd do anything for you. I've lost my muse since you've been growing so distant."
"I don't mean to be," Charlie shook his head. "But I love you. And I want you. I need you," The last words were more pleading than anything.
So Elijah wanted to take care of him.
Fuck waiting.
There was no more waiting.
There couldn't be more waiting.
Elijah just couldn't fucking stand it.
So he stripped Charlie and adorned his body with kisses and caresses.
So he sucked his beautiful angel hard until he came.
When he awoke the next morning, he couldn't help the surge of energy that filled him.
The painting pratically made itself.
Elijah smiled at the sleeping blonde in his bed.
He didn't know how they got here, but he didn't care.
He was in love. And nothing else mattered.
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Don't Make Me Beg- Charlijah
Shit.
Damn.
Fuck.
They were completely fucked.
Charlie left him.
Dom kissed him.
Billy hated him.
Sean loathed him.
And nothing made sense.
Shit. Damn. Fuck.
Fuck it all to high heaven.
He was broken.
They had all broken him.
Charlie and he were once untouchable. They were on top of the world.
But now, it was all gone.
Charlie, you shoulda looked out for me
You could have been standing, standing
on the Great Wall of China
This was not your calling, just look
how far you've fallen
I heard your story, man, you've got to be joking
Keep things in perspective, this is
my true objective
Why tear this heart out if it's only been broken?
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Miss the Kiss- Viggo/Beanie
Will you be coming home soon?
I know you're out of place
Will you knock on my door soon?
I just need to see your face
"Beanie," Viggo groaned, spilling his load.
He plodded off to the bathroom, the depressing sinking like an anchor back into Viggo's stomach.
They didn't know where Beanie had gotten to when he left set.
And Viggo missed his lover very much.
He missed the sex.
He missed their talks.
He missed their walks, but mostly he missed Beanie himself.
Oh my heart is like a speeding train
Oh my love, and I can feel your pain
All night long, yeah, I pray for you
Cuz I miss you
I am out of place
I am out of place
Beanie shivered as he got out of the cab.
He'd never been here before and all he could hope was that he was welcome.
He missed life so much.
Not that he wasn't living, but he still missed his paradise.
Viggo was his paradise.
And Beanie missed him so much.
*
A knock on the door caused Viggo to set the half-empty mug of coffee aside.
He swung the door wide open.
A wet Beanie stood there, suitcase in either hand.
"May I come in?" His teeth chattered.
"Yeah," Viggo said, still shocked. "Where..."
He didn't get to finish. Beanie's lips press against his and it all goes to hell.
When Beanie finally let Viggo breathe, both men panted to catch their breaths.
"I've missed you."
"Never leave me again?"
"Never," A promise, sealed with a kiss.
Will you be coming home soon?
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Need- Draco/Harry
"I need you," Draco shoves Harry into the room closest to them.
A quick bout of sex, and the enemies part ways.
*
"I need you," Is all Harry hears before he's being fucked throughly.
Another bout of sex, and the lovers go back to being enemies.
*
"I..."
"I know... need me," Harry rolls his eyes.
"What's your issue?" Draco stops his attack on Harry's neck.
"I'm just sick of it."
"Sick of what?"
"I love you, Draco, but you don't feel anything for me."
"That's not true," Draco shakes his head.
"Really?" Harry's tone is sardonic.
"I love you."
And if you carry me tonight
I would be strong enough to fight
And when you're weak and can't go on
I'd be the bed you lay upon
And blue is blue
And so am I
Cuz I want to be with you tonight
And you're not the only one in need
You know everybody's watching me
And what they see
Is me watching you
END
String
The whole world is held up by a string.
My whole Iife I've been trying to break free.
No one ever listened though.
No one but him.
"Orli?" The soft, innocent voice fills the room, and I know that he broke something again.
"What was it this time?" I turn to him, smiling.
"That painting daddy loved so much," His bright blue eyes smile back at me.
He's the only link I have to the past.
"The one Viggo gave him?" I ask the seven-year-old.
"Yeah," He's way too shy to be Elijah's son.
"Jonathan," I pretend to scowl but don't know how long I'll last.
"Mommy said..." Franka, Elijah's first and only female relationship.
"What did your mom say?" I raise an eyebrow curiously.
"That if I broke anything else, she'll send me away," He's blushing.
"I would never let her," I say.
"What could you do?" He looks up at me, nothing short of hero worship in the eyes stolen from his father.
"Your father wouldn't want you to go away," I tell him.
"But daddy's dead," Jonathan scowls.
And then I'm holding onto him and looking into those eyes, tears forming in my own.
"Your father will never be dead as long as we remember," I nearly sob.
"But, Orli, daddy loved you. He said he loved me, so why'd he leave?" And he's crying too.
"He didn't want to leave you."
"Then why'd you let him go?"
"It wasn't up to me."
"You could have stopped him. You should have told him not to go to the premiere!"
"I tried, he wouldn't listen."
"I hate you!" He's screaming in my face.
"You're out of place."
"You're not my father! Don't tell me what to do."
"Jonathan, your daddy loved you."
"Why'd he leave then?!" The boy's managed to pull away from me.
He storms out of the room.
Life's always been a fragile thing.
Held up by such a breakable string.
And we may want to forget what has passed...
But...
I hear a crash.
He comes back into my office.
"Orli?"
It starts all over again.
You're Still Here- Domlijah
"Dammit, Elijah!" Dominic screams as the vase shatters and an uneasy silence fills the room. "That was an Indain vase that B.K. gave to me! Can't you be careful?! Dammit, you're alway breaking things!"
"I'm sorry," Elijah's voice is meek and hurt. "I didn't mean to."
"You NEVER mean to! You said that when you broke the Spanish tile or the crystal wine glasses. You NEVER mean to!" Dom fetches a broom and starts sweeping up the mess.
"Dom...?" Elijah questions after a while. "Do you forgive me?" He's sitting on the counter top as Dom sweeps up the glass.
"You know I can't stay mad," Dom sighs and dumps the vase into the trashcan.
"Yay!" Elijah hops down off the counter and knocks over a sea-glass sculpture which tumbles to the floor and becomes a million tiny pieces.
Dom clenches his eyes shut at the resounding sound.
"Oops."
"I'm going out," Dom shakes his head, not bothering to open his eyes. "Clean this up," He thrusts the broom and dustpan into Elijah's hands and walks out. "And try not to break anything else!" He calls; the front door slams behind him.
*
Elijah is completely trashed. And Dom is fucking sick of it.
He hates drinking.
Loathes it since the night the Hobbits were in a car accident and almost died because lightweight Orli had been drunk and driving.
But here Elijah is, completely disregarding Dom's feelings and drinking himself to a stuper.
"Muffins!" Elijah suddenly screams in Dom's face; his nose wrinkled, and his breath smelling of the foul liquid he'd been consuming for two hours straight.
Dom doesn't say anything; he simply gets up and walks out of the club.
Elijah follows.
"Dommie!" He slurs, calling out into the night. A light rain starts to fall.
"Go away, Elijah," Dom growls. "I don't need this right now."
"You're mad," Elijah mumbles.
"Ya think?" Dom rolls his eyes, back to Elijah.
"Don't be mad. I know you don't like drinkin' but I didn't mean to let it get so out of hand."
"You never mean to."
"Dommie, are you going to leave again?"
"What?"
"Like that one time... when I broke something, I think it was the bust Viggo gave you, and you left me for a whole two months. I hate it when you leave. I get so afraid."
"Elijah, let's just take you home," Dom sighs.
*
"What's wrong?" Elijah walks over to the couch where Dom collapsed.
"My mom..." Dom sobs.
"What happened?" Elijah kneels down to try and look at Dom, but Dom's face is burried in a throw pillow.
"She's dead," He manages. The sobs come uncontrolably now.
"Dom. Dommie, baby," Elijah rubs Dom's back. "Hey," Lij's voice perks up, "we still have each other."
"I hate you!" Dom sits up and suddenly screams.
When he storms off, Elijah expects him to go to their bedroom and start packing.
But he doesn't.
And Elijah doesn't get it.
What makes you stay
When your world falls apart
What makes you try one more time
When it's not in your heart
"Why are you still here?" Elijah asks.
"What?" Dom looks up from his untouched food.
"I'm an insensitvie asshole, but you're still here. I don't understand. You could do better than me. Why are you still here?"
"Lij, you fuck up. I fuck up. We all do. I'm not going to leave you because you're not perfect. I still love you."
But Elijah still doesn't get it.
*
Elijah hears him almost every night. The tears and the sobs coming from the guest bedroom where he sleeps when he needs some alone time. He knows that Dom hurts deeply. He wants to help. But he knows he'll probably just break his boyfriend like he breaks everything else.
He's helpless.
So they live this way. Elijah constantly getting wasted, constantly breaking things. Dom trailing behind to clean up the mess.
Elijah doesn't deserve Dom. Yet Dom stays.
Elijah will never get it.
At the end of your rope
When you can't find any hope
You still look at me and say
'I just can't walk away'
Tell me what makes you stay
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I Love You- Orlijah
"I am gay!" Elijah tells the camara.
"We're all so proud of you," Sharon Osbourne states. "Thank you so much for sharing your story. That's all the time we have for today!"
"I'm going to go home and make love to my boyfriend," Elijah proudly anounces. "Thank you for having me."
*
"Thank you," Orlando whispers when the show is over.
"For what?"
"For doing that," He smils at Elijah. "I love you."
"I love you, too," Elijah beams. "So... bedroom?"
Orlando takes Elijah's hand and drags him off to their bedroom. He lays Elijah back on the bed and ravishes his naked skin with kisses.
Soft moans escape Elijah's lips as the passion and love Orlando feels is poured out through his kisses.
Neither of them really notice when Orlando rescues the lube from the tangled sheets.
Elijah's hands tangle in Orli's hair as Orlando kisses along the younger man's collar bone.
Elijah doesn't even feel when Orlando slips inside him, starting their slow pace. It's not urgent or rushed.
It's just Orlando. It's just Elijah. It's just love.
When you love someone- you'll do anything
You'll do all the crazy things that you can't explain
You'll shoot the moon- put out the sun
When you love someone
"I love you," Orlando states and wraps Elijah into a hug.
"I'll miss you," Elijah holds back his tears.
"It's not all that long, only ten days," Orlando brushes a few stray hairs from Elijah's face.
"Then it's ten days too long," Elijah pouts slightly.
"I love you, and I'll be back," Orlando whispers against Elijah's neck as the men embrace for the millionth time.
You'll deny the truth- believe a lie
There'll be times that you believe
You can really fly
But your lonely nights- have just begun
When you love someone
Elijah tosses and turns, the dreams of horrible things happening to Orlando in London, running around in an endless loop in his mind.
What if Orlando really doesn't come back?
What if he gets in a car accident or his place crashes?
What would Elijah do then?
Would he even know?
Maybe no one would think to contact him if something did happen to Orlando.
Maybe Orlando was already dead, lying in ditch somewhere or at the bottom of the ocean.
Maybe Elijah should give him a call.
The line rings and rings, and Elijah's just about to give up and give into his panic when Orlando's voice answers.
"Hello?" It's wide awake, which takes Elijah by suprise.
"Orli?" His tone is releaved, but desperate to make sure Orlando really is okay.
"Lij? What's up? Aren't you supposed to be in bed? It's like three in the morning there," Orlando states.
"I just worried about you," Elijah confesses. "And I'm so lonely," and it's true. Elijah couldn't remember his bed ever being so cold.
"Aw," Orlando breathes. "Well, I'm just spending some time with Sam and Mom," Orlando says. "We're at supper."
"I didn't mean to bother you," Elijah sounds embarassed now.
"No, it's sweet. And I'm fine; my plane arrived a few hours ago and everything went smoothly. Not to mention, no jet lag."
"That's great," Elijah grins even though Orli can't see him. "I'm glad. I'll let you get back to your meal; I just needed to hear your voice."
"It's great to hear your's too; I love you," Orlando hangs up.
Brief, but helpful. Elijah crawls back into his cold bed and pulls Orlando's pillow against his body, pretending it's his boyfriend.
'When you love someone- you feel it deep inside
And nothing else can ever change your mind
When you want someone-
When you need someone
When you love someone...
Elijah looks at the clock for the tenth time in the last two minutes.
When, oh fuck a duck, when would it be two o'clock?!
He walks around the terminal to kill time. He buys ice cream and coffee and some of those espresso beans Orlando loves so much. He even signs a few autographs for some giggling teenage girls who recognize him.
It was too long.
Elijah looks at the clock again. Still another half hour. He walks into Barnes and Noble.
That's when he sees it.
He picks it up and rushes to buy it.
He runs over to the Hallmark store across the terminal and buys gift wrap and a welcome home card.
He's waiting by the baggage claim fifteen minutes before the plane arrives.
Nothing could compare to the way he feels when Orlando spots him amoungst the crowd. They race toward each other and, fuck every one else, snog like there's no tomorrow.
"I got you something," Elijah states.
"Really? And I thought it would be fantastic just to see you again," Orlando's smile reveals how much he's missed Elijah. "What is it?" He takes the proffered package.
The paper falls to the ground and Orlando gasps.
"Where'd you get it?" He asks.
"It was in the Barnes and Noble," Elijah shrugs and blushes, happy to know he's pleased Orli.
"This had to be expensive," Orlando admires the beautiful copy of The Hobbit, his all-time favourite book.
"Not so bad," Elijah shrugs again.
"I love you," Orlando breathes and pulls Elijah in for another kiss.
By the time they get to the baggage claim, only a yellow bag sits waiting for someone to take it home.
When you love someone- you'll sacrifice
You'd give everything you got and
You won't think twice
You'd risk it all- no matter what may come
When you love someone
You'll shoot the moon- put out the sun
When you love someone
^End^
Victim- Monaboyd
"What the shite does that mean?" Billy scowls at Dom.
"It means all you ever do is be mean to me!" Dom screams.
"You always make this about you!" Billy moves closer, shouting in Dom's face.
"It is about me!" Dom retorts.
But he knows it's not. He just likes playing the victim with Billy. He loves getting the Scot worked up, forcing Billy to continue talking to him. All he can think at the moment though is how badly he wants to shove his lips to the other man's. Billy is always so hot when he's pissed; his Scottish accent seems to get thicker when lined with rage.
"It's not about you!" Billy grabs Dom by the shoulders.
"Then why did you say it?" He demands, ignoring the vivid pictures that instantly fill his mind.
"Because I fucking love you!" Billy shouts before he can stop the words leaving his lips. The funny thing is, all he can think is that he's talking like Elijah now.
I know why I keep playing the victim
Cuz these precious illusions in my head
Did not let me down when I was defenseless
Parting with them is like parting with invisible best friends
Lips shove together before Billy realizes what's happening.
A voice in the back of his brain registers that he's kissing Dom.
He's fucking kissing Dominic Monaghan.
Love of his life and best mate, Dominic Monaghan.
The sucking sensation hits, and Billy notes that he's already surrendered his tongue over to Dom's mouth.
It's all downhill from there.
A forbidden love.
A tragic romance, really.
But Billy doesn't care anymore.
He's moving in and out of Dom, and that's really all that matters.
He's making love to Dom, and that's all he really cares about.
One thing's for sure: Dom won't be allowed to play the victim anymore.
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Utopia- Domlijah
They call it Utopia.
No Place.
That's the only way to describe their relationship.
It doesn't fit where it should. It doesn't belong when it should. And it doesn't make any sense.
They call it Utopia, the time they spend together, laying in the post-orgasm haze.
Perhaps it's all about the way they've been forced to bond.
It doesn't make sense, but it's their paradise.
Without words, they stay together.
They steal chaste kisses in clubs before heading home to make love.
They call it Utopia.
No place.
It has no place in their lives, but they keep doing it.
It's a rush, the whorlwind of emotions. They don't care if it doesn't fit. They don't care if it's doomed to fail. They just want to live in the moment. And they do.
They call it Utopia.
No place.
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The Passing of an Age- Orlijah
It's tiring. That's for sure.
Elijah and Orlando both know it.
They both feel it.
Like they know it's all about to change.
Like they know that Elijah will get on his plane tomorrow and leave for L.A.
Like they realize that filming is finally over.
No more pick-ups. No more reshoots. It's done.
All they can do is cling to each other this one last night together.
There's no love making.
They just want to be together.
So they are.
"Lij...?" Orlando breaks the silence.
"Hmm?" Elijah's vocal cords sound rough for lack of use.
"What...?"
"Don't."
"But..."
"Just sleep, baby," Elijah coos. "Don't think about this. It doesn't matter."
"I think it does."
"Baby," Elijah sighs, and his eyes flutter closed, "let's just save it. Let's not worry about tomorrow. I want to enjoy this now."
Orlando agrees, but knows that Elijah is saying goodbye.
He always knew it couldn't last.
They had reputations to think of, after all.
But they were in love.
And that worked for now.
So Orlando closes his eyes and falls asleep, for the last time, beside the man he loves.
Good night, my angel
Time to close your eyes
And save the questions for another day
I think I know what you've been asking me
I think you know what I've been trying to say
I promised I would never leave you
Where ever you may go
No matter where you are
I never will be far away
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Moving On- Viggo/Orli
Orlando studied the package on the counter closely.
"What's this?" He asked.
"Nothing," Viggo rubbed his neck and half-shrugged.
"Sure..." Orlando rolled his eyes. "Why don't you ever tell me anything?"
"Here's something," Viggo whispered, leaning on Orlando, "I love you."
"Mmm..." Orlando breathed in Viggo's sent and closed his eyes. "That I'll accept."
*
Goodbyes were not a talent Orlando posessed. He usually ended up making a fool of himself and never being able to express how much he'll miss the said leaver.
That day was no acception.
Viggo was leaving. Probably leaving Orlando's life forever.
The day was a blur. A random bout of kissing and hugging and tears.
Billy said goodbye. Dom said goodbye. Elijah said goodbye. They all said goodbye.
What other choice did Orlando have?
He said goodbye. Sort of.
"I'll... uh... see ya... hopefully. Maybe. Someday," He shrugged, hands wedged into his pockets.
And that was all he got to say.
Viggo was embraced by Fran and Phillippa and then boarding the plane.
Gone.
Orlando looked at the package he'd been thrust right before Viggo's figure dissapear.
*
He didn't open it for days, afraid of what was in it.
It sat on his kitchen table, taunting him.
He finally broke down.
Orlando tore open the package.
It was a book.
A leather-bound book.
A hand-written, leather-bound book.
He flipped it open and read madly.
And these are the last words I have to say
It's always hard to say goodbye
But now it's time to put this book away
Ain't that the story of my life?
The last words stood out on the page.
They were big and bold and loud.
Orlando was sure a blind guy could read them.
Nothing about the loudness of the words stopped the way they made him feel, though.
I Love You
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Artiste- Charlie Hunnam/Elijah Wood (Charlijah as I call it)
Elijah was an artist.
Or an artiste as he perfered.
Charlie was a model.
Or a manly man as he perferred.
So I guess it wasn't a suprise that they would end up in Elijah's living room, Charlie fucking alltheway, white-ass, butt fucking naked.
He was a model. This was simply his job.
But he was sure when Elijah's lips first brushed his, that it was way more than just work.
So they starting seeing each other. And not just in their nude modeling sessions. They started dating.
Charlie wouldn't let Elijah touch his naked body, no matter how his blue eyes begged.
Elijah wouldn't let Charlie see his work, it seemed like a fair trade.
Then they started falling apart, going in seperate directions.
Elijah blamed "artistic differences" but he knew he was avoiding Charlie because of his feelings.
Blonde over blue... your hands are cold
your eyes are fire
Blonde over blue... they shine as though
you're burning inside
One word is all I need from you
to be inspired
Blonde over blue... I need your
inspiration tonight
But how'd they end up there that night?
How did the confession happen?
"I love you," Elijah confessed.
"I want you to..." Charlie couldn't finish his sentance.
"What? Please name it; I'd do anything for you. I've lost my muse since you've been growing so distant."
"I don't mean to be," Charlie shook his head. "But I love you. And I want you. I need you," The last words were more pleading than anything.
So Elijah wanted to take care of him.
Fuck waiting.
There was no more waiting.
There couldn't be more waiting.
Elijah just couldn't fucking stand it.
So he stripped Charlie and adorned his body with kisses and caresses.
So he sucked his beautiful angel hard until he came.
When he awoke the next morning, he couldn't help the surge of energy that filled him.
The painting pratically made itself.
Elijah smiled at the sleeping blonde in his bed.
He didn't know how they got here, but he didn't care.
He was in love. And nothing else mattered.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't Make Me Beg- Charlijah
Shit.
Damn.
Fuck.
They were completely fucked.
Charlie left him.
Dom kissed him.
Billy hated him.
Sean loathed him.
And nothing made sense.
Shit. Damn. Fuck.
Fuck it all to high heaven.
He was broken.
They had all broken him.
Charlie and he were once untouchable. They were on top of the world.
But now, it was all gone.
Charlie, you shoulda looked out for me
You could have been standing, standing
on the Great Wall of China
This was not your calling, just look
how far you've fallen
I heard your story, man, you've got to be joking
Keep things in perspective, this is
my true objective
Why tear this heart out if it's only been broken?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Miss the Kiss- Viggo/Beanie
Will you be coming home soon?
I know you're out of place
Will you knock on my door soon?
I just need to see your face
"Beanie," Viggo groaned, spilling his load.
He plodded off to the bathroom, the depressing sinking like an anchor back into Viggo's stomach.
They didn't know where Beanie had gotten to when he left set.
And Viggo missed his lover very much.
He missed the sex.
He missed their talks.
He missed their walks, but mostly he missed Beanie himself.
Oh my heart is like a speeding train
Oh my love, and I can feel your pain
All night long, yeah, I pray for you
Cuz I miss you
I am out of place
I am out of place
Beanie shivered as he got out of the cab.
He'd never been here before and all he could hope was that he was welcome.
He missed life so much.
Not that he wasn't living, but he still missed his paradise.
Viggo was his paradise.
And Beanie missed him so much.
*
A knock on the door caused Viggo to set the half-empty mug of coffee aside.
He swung the door wide open.
A wet Beanie stood there, suitcase in either hand.
"May I come in?" His teeth chattered.
"Yeah," Viggo said, still shocked. "Where..."
He didn't get to finish. Beanie's lips press against his and it all goes to hell.
When Beanie finally let Viggo breathe, both men panted to catch their breaths.
"I've missed you."
"Never leave me again?"
"Never," A promise, sealed with a kiss.
Will you be coming home soon?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Need- Draco/Harry
"I need you," Draco shoves Harry into the room closest to them.
A quick bout of sex, and the enemies part ways.
*
"I need you," Is all Harry hears before he's being fucked throughly.
Another bout of sex, and the lovers go back to being enemies.
*
"I..."
"I know... need me," Harry rolls his eyes.
"What's your issue?" Draco stops his attack on Harry's neck.
"I'm just sick of it."
"Sick of what?"
"I love you, Draco, but you don't feel anything for me."
"That's not true," Draco shakes his head.
"Really?" Harry's tone is sardonic.
"I love you."
And if you carry me tonight
I would be strong enough to fight
And when you're weak and can't go on
I'd be the bed you lay upon
And blue is blue
And so am I
Cuz I want to be with you tonight
And you're not the only one in need
You know everybody's watching me
And what they see
Is me watching you
END
String
The whole world is held up by a string.
My whole Iife I've been trying to break free.
No one ever listened though.
No one but him.
"Orli?" The soft, innocent voice fills the room, and I know that he broke something again.
"What was it this time?" I turn to him, smiling.
"That painting daddy loved so much," His bright blue eyes smile back at me.
He's the only link I have to the past.
"The one Viggo gave him?" I ask the seven-year-old.
"Yeah," He's way too shy to be Elijah's son.
"Jonathan," I pretend to scowl but don't know how long I'll last.
"Mommy said..." Franka, Elijah's first and only female relationship.
"What did your mom say?" I raise an eyebrow curiously.
"That if I broke anything else, she'll send me away," He's blushing.
"I would never let her," I say.
"What could you do?" He looks up at me, nothing short of hero worship in the eyes stolen from his father.
"Your father wouldn't want you to go away," I tell him.
"But daddy's dead," Jonathan scowls.
And then I'm holding onto him and looking into those eyes, tears forming in my own.
"Your father will never be dead as long as we remember," I nearly sob.
"But, Orli, daddy loved you. He said he loved me, so why'd he leave?" And he's crying too.
"He didn't want to leave you."
"Then why'd you let him go?"
"It wasn't up to me."
"You could have stopped him. You should have told him not to go to the premiere!"
"I tried, he wouldn't listen."
"I hate you!" He's screaming in my face.
"You're out of place."
"You're not my father! Don't tell me what to do."
"Jonathan, your daddy loved you."
"Why'd he leave then?!" The boy's managed to pull away from me.
He storms out of the room.
Life's always been a fragile thing.
Held up by such a breakable string.
And we may want to forget what has passed...
But...
I hear a crash.
He comes back into my office.
"Orli?"
It starts all over again.
You're Still Here- Domlijah
"Dammit, Elijah!" Dominic screams as the vase shatters and an uneasy silence fills the room. "That was an Indain vase that B.K. gave to me! Can't you be careful?! Dammit, you're alway breaking things!"
"I'm sorry," Elijah's voice is meek and hurt. "I didn't mean to."
"You NEVER mean to! You said that when you broke the Spanish tile or the crystal wine glasses. You NEVER mean to!" Dom fetches a broom and starts sweeping up the mess.
"Dom...?" Elijah questions after a while. "Do you forgive me?" He's sitting on the counter top as Dom sweeps up the glass.
"You know I can't stay mad," Dom sighs and dumps the vase into the trashcan.
"Yay!" Elijah hops down off the counter and knocks over a sea-glass sculpture which tumbles to the floor and becomes a million tiny pieces.
Dom clenches his eyes shut at the resounding sound.
"Oops."
"I'm going out," Dom shakes his head, not bothering to open his eyes. "Clean this up," He thrusts the broom and dustpan into Elijah's hands and walks out. "And try not to break anything else!" He calls; the front door slams behind him.
*
Elijah is completely trashed. And Dom is fucking sick of it.
He hates drinking.
Loathes it since the night the Hobbits were in a car accident and almost died because lightweight Orli had been drunk and driving.
But here Elijah is, completely disregarding Dom's feelings and drinking himself to a stuper.
"Muffins!" Elijah suddenly screams in Dom's face; his nose wrinkled, and his breath smelling of the foul liquid he'd been consuming for two hours straight.
Dom doesn't say anything; he simply gets up and walks out of the club.
Elijah follows.
"Dommie!" He slurs, calling out into the night. A light rain starts to fall.
"Go away, Elijah," Dom growls. "I don't need this right now."
"You're mad," Elijah mumbles.
"Ya think?" Dom rolls his eyes, back to Elijah.
"Don't be mad. I know you don't like drinkin' but I didn't mean to let it get so out of hand."
"You never mean to."
"Dommie, are you going to leave again?"
"What?"
"Like that one time... when I broke something, I think it was the bust Viggo gave you, and you left me for a whole two months. I hate it when you leave. I get so afraid."
"Elijah, let's just take you home," Dom sighs.
*
"What's wrong?" Elijah walks over to the couch where Dom collapsed.
"My mom..." Dom sobs.
"What happened?" Elijah kneels down to try and look at Dom, but Dom's face is burried in a throw pillow.
"She's dead," He manages. The sobs come uncontrolably now.
"Dom. Dommie, baby," Elijah rubs Dom's back. "Hey," Lij's voice perks up, "we still have each other."
"I hate you!" Dom sits up and suddenly screams.
When he storms off, Elijah expects him to go to their bedroom and start packing.
But he doesn't.
And Elijah doesn't get it.
What makes you stay
When your world falls apart
What makes you try one more time
When it's not in your heart
"Why are you still here?" Elijah asks.
"What?" Dom looks up from his untouched food.
"I'm an insensitvie asshole, but you're still here. I don't understand. You could do better than me. Why are you still here?"
"Lij, you fuck up. I fuck up. We all do. I'm not going to leave you because you're not perfect. I still love you."
But Elijah still doesn't get it.
*
Elijah hears him almost every night. The tears and the sobs coming from the guest bedroom where he sleeps when he needs some alone time. He knows that Dom hurts deeply. He wants to help. But he knows he'll probably just break his boyfriend like he breaks everything else.
He's helpless.
So they live this way. Elijah constantly getting wasted, constantly breaking things. Dom trailing behind to clean up the mess.
Elijah doesn't deserve Dom. Yet Dom stays.
Elijah will never get it.
At the end of your rope
When you can't find any hope
You still look at me and say
'I just can't walk away'
Tell me what makes you stay
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I Love You- Orlijah
"I am gay!" Elijah tells the camara.
"We're all so proud of you," Sharon Osbourne states. "Thank you so much for sharing your story. That's all the time we have for today!"
"I'm going to go home and make love to my boyfriend," Elijah proudly anounces. "Thank you for having me."
*
"Thank you," Orlando whispers when the show is over.
"For what?"
"For doing that," He smils at Elijah. "I love you."
"I love you, too," Elijah beams. "So... bedroom?"
Orlando takes Elijah's hand and drags him off to their bedroom. He lays Elijah back on the bed and ravishes his naked skin with kisses.
Soft moans escape Elijah's lips as the passion and love Orlando feels is poured out through his kisses.
Neither of them really notice when Orlando rescues the lube from the tangled sheets.
Elijah's hands tangle in Orli's hair as Orlando kisses along the younger man's collar bone.
Elijah doesn't even feel when Orlando slips inside him, starting their slow pace. It's not urgent or rushed.
It's just Orlando. It's just Elijah. It's just love.
When you love someone- you'll do anything
You'll do all the crazy things that you can't explain
You'll shoot the moon- put out the sun
When you love someone
"I love you," Orlando states and wraps Elijah into a hug.
"I'll miss you," Elijah holds back his tears.
"It's not all that long, only ten days," Orlando brushes a few stray hairs from Elijah's face.
"Then it's ten days too long," Elijah pouts slightly.
"I love you, and I'll be back," Orlando whispers against Elijah's neck as the men embrace for the millionth time.
You'll deny the truth- believe a lie
There'll be times that you believe
You can really fly
But your lonely nights- have just begun
When you love someone
Elijah tosses and turns, the dreams of horrible things happening to Orlando in London, running around in an endless loop in his mind.
What if Orlando really doesn't come back?
What if he gets in a car accident or his place crashes?
What would Elijah do then?
Would he even know?
Maybe no one would think to contact him if something did happen to Orlando.
Maybe Orlando was already dead, lying in ditch somewhere or at the bottom of the ocean.
Maybe Elijah should give him a call.
The line rings and rings, and Elijah's just about to give up and give into his panic when Orlando's voice answers.
"Hello?" It's wide awake, which takes Elijah by suprise.
"Orli?" His tone is releaved, but desperate to make sure Orlando really is okay.
"Lij? What's up? Aren't you supposed to be in bed? It's like three in the morning there," Orlando states.
"I just worried about you," Elijah confesses. "And I'm so lonely," and it's true. Elijah couldn't remember his bed ever being so cold.
"Aw," Orlando breathes. "Well, I'm just spending some time with Sam and Mom," Orlando says. "We're at supper."
"I didn't mean to bother you," Elijah sounds embarassed now.
"No, it's sweet. And I'm fine; my plane arrived a few hours ago and everything went smoothly. Not to mention, no jet lag."
"That's great," Elijah grins even though Orli can't see him. "I'm glad. I'll let you get back to your meal; I just needed to hear your voice."
"It's great to hear your's too; I love you," Orlando hangs up.
Brief, but helpful. Elijah crawls back into his cold bed and pulls Orlando's pillow against his body, pretending it's his boyfriend.
'When you love someone- you feel it deep inside
And nothing else can ever change your mind
When you want someone-
When you need someone
When you love someone...
Elijah looks at the clock for the tenth time in the last two minutes.
When, oh fuck a duck, when would it be two o'clock?!
He walks around the terminal to kill time. He buys ice cream and coffee and some of those espresso beans Orlando loves so much. He even signs a few autographs for some giggling teenage girls who recognize him.
It was too long.
Elijah looks at the clock again. Still another half hour. He walks into Barnes and Noble.
That's when he sees it.
He picks it up and rushes to buy it.
He runs over to the Hallmark store across the terminal and buys gift wrap and a welcome home card.
He's waiting by the baggage claim fifteen minutes before the plane arrives.
Nothing could compare to the way he feels when Orlando spots him amoungst the crowd. They race toward each other and, fuck every one else, snog like there's no tomorrow.
"I got you something," Elijah states.
"Really? And I thought it would be fantastic just to see you again," Orlando's smile reveals how much he's missed Elijah. "What is it?" He takes the proffered package.
The paper falls to the ground and Orlando gasps.
"Where'd you get it?" He asks.
"It was in the Barnes and Noble," Elijah shrugs and blushes, happy to know he's pleased Orli.
"This had to be expensive," Orlando admires the beautiful copy of The Hobbit, his all-time favourite book.
"Not so bad," Elijah shrugs again.
"I love you," Orlando breathes and pulls Elijah in for another kiss.
By the time they get to the baggage claim, only a yellow bag sits waiting for someone to take it home.
When you love someone- you'll sacrifice
You'd give everything you got and
You won't think twice
You'd risk it all- no matter what may come
When you love someone
You'll shoot the moon- put out the sun
When you love someone
^End^
