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fellowshippers2005-03-23 10:47 pm
saklani2.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2005-03-23 10:47 pm
NEW: Always Darkest 3/30 (Viggo/Elijah, some Astin/Elijah) [NC-17]
Title: Always Darkest
Author: Saklani (saklani@wildmail.com) and Wushu
Codes: Viggo/Elijah, some Astin/Lij RPS
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not own these men, or anything else I mention here. I am not looking to make money from this... God forbid. And I am NOT them nor is what I put down here real. Thank you.
Summary: Elijah and Sean Astin share one night and then must deal with the consequences.
Author's Notes: This is one of a multitude of long, complex fictions that Wushu and I have been writing together. Basically, this is unbetaed as neither of us have time to beta this one and our regular beta readers want to kill us. We have four other fictions with them, so this one has to go out raw. We apologize for any errors, of which there are probably quite a few. Please ignore them!
Elijah's sigh this time was an expression of pleasure, "You're hired."
"What do I get in terms of salary and benefits?" Viggo asked, lying next to him and covering Elijah back over with the spread.
"Ten grand for every finger, and twice that for every thumb." Elijah giggles, very softly, but he was amused as he snuggled into Viggo's side with a purr.
Smiling a little at Elijah's laugh and purr, Viggo cuddled him close. "Just think, by the end of tomorrow, we'll be on my ranch. I can scarcely believe it's all over."
"I... I can't think about that yet Viggo... I'm not ready for it to be over... I don't know if I'll ever be ready, but I can't deal right now, so..." he pressed his face to Viggo's shoulder and closed his eyes, "I just can't."
"Hush," Viggo whispered kindly, stroking the soft black hair that spikes everywhere in wild disarray. "Everything will work out... and I'm here for as long as you need me."
Elijah didn't answer, just pressed the full length of his body to Viggo's and tried very hard to one again push it all from his mind. A few long minuets later he asked, "How's Urias?"
"I sent him out on a horse tour to different shows with his trainers. A lot of people seem to like to see the horses we rode in LOTR. He's the main attraction at a few rather amusing fan shows." Viggo's hands dropped the cradle Elijah's back.
Elijah gave a soft chuckle. "I like the idea of Urias having his own fans... What about TJ? How's he?"
"He's a real pain, that stallion," Viggo said with a fond smile. "I guess that's why I get along with him so well. We understand each other. He's complaining about the lack of mares, however."
"Are you going to get one? Or more? Does a stallion need a herd? Or is one mare enough?"
"A stallion wants a herd, but he does not need one. I might put TJ out to stud sometime, but he's just a randy little paint with no real pedigree."
"I'm sure if people will go places to see Urias... then they will pay for TJ to have fun with their mare."
Viggo snorted a little at that phrasing. "When you put it that way, we could all make tons of money having a little fun with mares."
"Viggo! I mean... we all knew you slept with Urias! But please! Horseplay? That's dirty."
For a moment, Viggo froze and then he burst into peals of laughter.
Elijah's laughter sounded, much softer, but amused, and very pleased with himself for making Viggo laugh, considering all the angst he had been putting Viggo through lately.
"My dearest little hobbit," Viggo sighed softly, kissing him gently. He shut his eyes and let himself drift for a few moments in the warm buzz of their laughter.
Elijah couldn't sleep, he was still thinking too much, but he lay there in Viggo's embrace and enjoyed the warm safe feeling it gave him. Eventually, without even realizing it, he drifted off.
*************
Early the next morning, but well timed if you knew Viggo's morning schedule there was a soft knock at the door.
Already having climbed out of bed and put on his yoga and stretching pants, Viggo answered the door with a quick check to make sure Elijah still slept. His eyes widened in surprise at the visitor.
A rather unsure looking Orlando was shifting from foot to foot in the hall, looking up when the door opened and giving Viggo a very unsure smile, "Hi?"
"Orlando," Viggo said with a small smile of greeting, but raised eyebrows of surprise. "Are you all right?"
"Do... um... do you have... a moment?"
"Sure." Viggo glanced back at the room, unwilling to disturb the sleeping Elijah, who needed the rest. He stepped into the hall instead, closing the door until it was only a crack open. "How can I help you?" The oddity of this early morning arrival by Orlando struck Viggo hard for a moment. He remembered a time when they both rose at this hour, making love before tumbling out of bed to face the day together.
Orli looked up and down the hall before shaking his head, "We can't talk here... I mean... anyone could... could hear us..." He reached up and tugged on a long curl, a nervous habit of old before saying, "Maybe we could go to my room?"
"Let me get my key," Viggo said. He disappeared inside the room for a moment, grabbing his room key and leaving Elijah a note in case he woke up. Slipping back out and shutting the door quietly, Viggo tugged on the shirt he had also snagged, as he rejoined Orlando. "Lead on."
"Is... Is there a reason you won't..." Orli gestured to Viggo's door before he started down the hall, his own room was only six or so rooms away.
"Elijah's still asleep," Viggo said, seeing no point in trying to hide the truth. He walked beside Orlando, easily matching his pace in a familiar way.
Orli tugged on another lock of hair, not saying anything more, just nodding and holding his tongue until he'd let them both into his room, walking across it to close the doors of the balcony, knowing there was another cast member either side of his room. "So... is... is it true? That you and Lij are... trying something?"
Viggo ran a hand through his hair, looking at Orlando in confusion. "You wanted to talk to me about that?"
Orli looked away from Viggo for a long moment before saying very softly, "I've made a lot of mistakes since... Well since we left New Zealand, but... my career, such as it is, was more important than just about anything, and... And other parts of my life have suffered because of that. We suffered because of it" Orli sighed deeply, before looking up at Viggo, searching for the words to say what he wanted to say.
"Your career hasn't suffered," Viggo said with a smile at his former lover. "You've done well for yourself, Orlando." He no longer caressed the name with his tongue, but he did not stop calling him by his full name, as he always had. "But you're right... we ended because of it."
Orlando nodded, pushing down the confused feelings that rushed to the fore as he remembers their time together, and just how much he still loves the man standing in front of him. "There..." Orli had to stop and clear his throat before he could go on, his tangled emotions blocking it.
The pause extended for a few moments, and then Viggo said into the silence, "If you really need to know, Elijah and I are not together. He's going through a bit of a rough time and needed a friend to lean on. That's all."
Not letting himself think about Viggo's words for the moment he opened his mouth and let the words poor out. Orli's voice was husky with emotion and tears as he spoke, every word costing him to say, but he needed to say them, "I wanted to apologize. I was... I was a thoughtless selfish prat... I... I fucked up a lot Viggo, and I'm sorry, sorry for fucking up and sorry for hurting you."
Never one to let a friend suffer, even if the suffering might have been justified in part, Viggo stepped forward and gave Orlando a long hug. "Hey... its all right, Orlando. I understand you did what you thought you needed to do.... and I forgave you a long time ago." He tightened his arms again, before letting go of the younger man. "No more recriminations, all right?"
Orli nodded, wrapping his arms around his body, trying to hold onto the feeling of Viggo's embrace for as long as possible, "I'll try?" His smile was wan and lacked the Orli charm. "I should have said this a long time ago... I... I know we can't go back, honesty forces me to admit... I don't even know if I would, but... I do love you... I still love you, and I miss you."
Standing near to Orlando, Viggo digested these words slowly. He saw the honesty on Orlando's brown eyes, the ones so many people would kill for, and heard it in his voice as well. "I miss you, too," he said softly. "Especially on those cold, windy nights we used to love."
Orli's smile was achingly sad as he nods, "Curled up on that rug, in front of the fire, feeling sorry for all those who didn't have someone to cuddle up to?"
Viggo's smile echoed his remembrance of pleasant times. "Yeah." He brushed the forefinger of his right hand over one of Orlando's perfect cheekbones. "But like you said, we can't go back."
Orli turned his head, pressing a kiss to Viggo's palm very lightly before he nodded again, "No... We can't." Searching Viggo's eyes for a long time Orli almost whispered, "And there is no going forward either... for you'll be long over me, when I feel sure enough to come out."
Viggo ducked his head once to the truth of Orlando's words. "It hurt too much to keep loving you, Orlando, knowing you were gone." He raised his eyes to study the solemn face with gentleness. "Part of me will always be yours, though I know that's no consolation."
Orli nodded, his breath just a little ragged as he turned away, looking out of the balcony windows for several minutes before speaking, "I knew it... I did... but... I... hope is cruel." He shook his head again, "if you ever need anything I... I can do or help with, I'm always here for you to call on... you know that yes?" However he didn't give Viggo a chance to answer as he continued, "I hope you find someone who makes you very, very happy Vig. You deserve that and more."
"I know... and thank you," he said softly. Stepping forward, he reached out and squeezed Orlando's shoulder once. He left quietly, not wanting to say goodbye. His heart ached for a few moments in his chest and then eased into the lingering pain he already knew. They were done... and he himself broke the last ties. Opening the door, he tossed off his shirt, headed right for the bed and curled tightly into Elijah.
Elijah's voice asked sleepily, "Where did you go?"
"Orlando wanted to talk to me," Viggo murmured. He buried himself under the covers and pulled Elijah even closer.
"I'd say I told you sooo..." Elijah yawned hugely, "If I wasn't so tired." Snuggling into Viggo Elijah let himself drift, knowing he'd hear and wake if Viggo wanted to keep talking, but just as able to fall asleep if Viggo didn't.
"You told me so?" Viggo asked, genuinely confused. "What do you mean?"
"That you'd be getting it toooo..." He yawned again, although his voice sounded a little more awake.
"Oh." Viggo fell silent, face buried in Elijah's nicely scented hair. He thought this over for a long time and then whispered, "I did not realize he was not over me. After all, he broke up with me. I would have given the world to him."
"You did Viggo... you let him go, you didn't fight him, and let him go, and take the world by storm. Something for which he will always love, and never forgive you for." Elijah sighs softly, "You were his first true love... you never stop loving that person, no matter what Vig. It's not possible."
A small smile teased the edges of Viggo's mouth. "When did you get so wise?"
"I don't know... must have been around here sometime... it's easy to be wise about someone else's life Vig, it's being wise about your own that's so bloody hard."
"You've lived a lot for someone so young," Viggo said. He pressed his mouth to Elijah's neck and blew a wet raspberry there.
Elijah squirmed a little, giggling softly, "I bet you bite." Taking a deep breath Elijah offered, "How's about, you be wise about my life, and I'll be wise about yours? And you'll keep me from making any more monumental fuck ups, like sleeping with my best mate?"
"That's a deal," Viggo agreed, "and I do bite." He blew another raspberry nearer Elijah's ear.
Elijah wriggled more this time, protestingly, "Don't! That tickles!! And I wanted to get more sleep!!!"/
Chuckling, Viggo stopped and curled around him more comfortably. His hands settled gently on Elijah's abdomen, resting there. "All right, we shall sleep a little longer in deference to your sensitive needs."
"I'm not pregnant Viggo, just tired!"
"Pregnant?" Viggo said with great amusement. "Are you hiding something from me, hobbit?"
"You're the one talking about my sensitive needs Viggo! That's the sort of thing you say to someone who's pregnant!" Elijah sighed before saying suddenly, "Yes Vig... there is... If you don't let go for a minuet, your gonna be sleeping in the not fun kind of wet spot." And as soon as Viggo loosened his arms Elijah jumped up and almost sprinted for the bathroom.
Collapsing into happy giggles for a moment, Viggo sobered when he thought about Orlando. In truth, he wanted to accept Orlando's unspoken offer for a moment. His heart remembered everything the two shared during their relationship, and his resolve weakened. Still, his better sense won out, reminding him of the changes since they split... and Elijah sleeping in his bed. Which was a strange thing to suddenly think about... or was it? Viggo tackled this problem and so doing, passed out into a dreamless sleep.
Elijah came back a few moments later and smiled, crawling into the bed, careful to not wake Viggo and snuggled into the larger man. Someone had been looking out for him when they had sent Viggo to be his friend, and he silently thanked them before closing his eyes and joining Viggo in sleep.
**********
Author: Saklani (saklani@wildmail.com) and Wushu
Codes: Viggo/Elijah, some Astin/Lij RPS
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not own these men, or anything else I mention here. I am not looking to make money from this... God forbid. And I am NOT them nor is what I put down here real. Thank you.
Summary: Elijah and Sean Astin share one night and then must deal with the consequences.
Author's Notes: This is one of a multitude of long, complex fictions that Wushu and I have been writing together. Basically, this is unbetaed as neither of us have time to beta this one and our regular beta readers want to kill us. We have four other fictions with them, so this one has to go out raw. We apologize for any errors, of which there are probably quite a few. Please ignore them!
Elijah's sigh this time was an expression of pleasure, "You're hired."
"What do I get in terms of salary and benefits?" Viggo asked, lying next to him and covering Elijah back over with the spread.
"Ten grand for every finger, and twice that for every thumb." Elijah giggles, very softly, but he was amused as he snuggled into Viggo's side with a purr.
Smiling a little at Elijah's laugh and purr, Viggo cuddled him close. "Just think, by the end of tomorrow, we'll be on my ranch. I can scarcely believe it's all over."
"I... I can't think about that yet Viggo... I'm not ready for it to be over... I don't know if I'll ever be ready, but I can't deal right now, so..." he pressed his face to Viggo's shoulder and closed his eyes, "I just can't."
"Hush," Viggo whispered kindly, stroking the soft black hair that spikes everywhere in wild disarray. "Everything will work out... and I'm here for as long as you need me."
Elijah didn't answer, just pressed the full length of his body to Viggo's and tried very hard to one again push it all from his mind. A few long minuets later he asked, "How's Urias?"
"I sent him out on a horse tour to different shows with his trainers. A lot of people seem to like to see the horses we rode in LOTR. He's the main attraction at a few rather amusing fan shows." Viggo's hands dropped the cradle Elijah's back.
Elijah gave a soft chuckle. "I like the idea of Urias having his own fans... What about TJ? How's he?"
"He's a real pain, that stallion," Viggo said with a fond smile. "I guess that's why I get along with him so well. We understand each other. He's complaining about the lack of mares, however."
"Are you going to get one? Or more? Does a stallion need a herd? Or is one mare enough?"
"A stallion wants a herd, but he does not need one. I might put TJ out to stud sometime, but he's just a randy little paint with no real pedigree."
"I'm sure if people will go places to see Urias... then they will pay for TJ to have fun with their mare."
Viggo snorted a little at that phrasing. "When you put it that way, we could all make tons of money having a little fun with mares."
"Viggo! I mean... we all knew you slept with Urias! But please! Horseplay? That's dirty."
For a moment, Viggo froze and then he burst into peals of laughter.
Elijah's laughter sounded, much softer, but amused, and very pleased with himself for making Viggo laugh, considering all the angst he had been putting Viggo through lately.
"My dearest little hobbit," Viggo sighed softly, kissing him gently. He shut his eyes and let himself drift for a few moments in the warm buzz of their laughter.
Elijah couldn't sleep, he was still thinking too much, but he lay there in Viggo's embrace and enjoyed the warm safe feeling it gave him. Eventually, without even realizing it, he drifted off.
*************
Early the next morning, but well timed if you knew Viggo's morning schedule there was a soft knock at the door.
Already having climbed out of bed and put on his yoga and stretching pants, Viggo answered the door with a quick check to make sure Elijah still slept. His eyes widened in surprise at the visitor.
A rather unsure looking Orlando was shifting from foot to foot in the hall, looking up when the door opened and giving Viggo a very unsure smile, "Hi?"
"Orlando," Viggo said with a small smile of greeting, but raised eyebrows of surprise. "Are you all right?"
"Do... um... do you have... a moment?"
"Sure." Viggo glanced back at the room, unwilling to disturb the sleeping Elijah, who needed the rest. He stepped into the hall instead, closing the door until it was only a crack open. "How can I help you?" The oddity of this early morning arrival by Orlando struck Viggo hard for a moment. He remembered a time when they both rose at this hour, making love before tumbling out of bed to face the day together.
Orli looked up and down the hall before shaking his head, "We can't talk here... I mean... anyone could... could hear us..." He reached up and tugged on a long curl, a nervous habit of old before saying, "Maybe we could go to my room?"
"Let me get my key," Viggo said. He disappeared inside the room for a moment, grabbing his room key and leaving Elijah a note in case he woke up. Slipping back out and shutting the door quietly, Viggo tugged on the shirt he had also snagged, as he rejoined Orlando. "Lead on."
"Is... Is there a reason you won't..." Orli gestured to Viggo's door before he started down the hall, his own room was only six or so rooms away.
"Elijah's still asleep," Viggo said, seeing no point in trying to hide the truth. He walked beside Orlando, easily matching his pace in a familiar way.
Orli tugged on another lock of hair, not saying anything more, just nodding and holding his tongue until he'd let them both into his room, walking across it to close the doors of the balcony, knowing there was another cast member either side of his room. "So... is... is it true? That you and Lij are... trying something?"
Viggo ran a hand through his hair, looking at Orlando in confusion. "You wanted to talk to me about that?"
Orli looked away from Viggo for a long moment before saying very softly, "I've made a lot of mistakes since... Well since we left New Zealand, but... my career, such as it is, was more important than just about anything, and... And other parts of my life have suffered because of that. We suffered because of it" Orli sighed deeply, before looking up at Viggo, searching for the words to say what he wanted to say.
"Your career hasn't suffered," Viggo said with a smile at his former lover. "You've done well for yourself, Orlando." He no longer caressed the name with his tongue, but he did not stop calling him by his full name, as he always had. "But you're right... we ended because of it."
Orlando nodded, pushing down the confused feelings that rushed to the fore as he remembers their time together, and just how much he still loves the man standing in front of him. "There..." Orli had to stop and clear his throat before he could go on, his tangled emotions blocking it.
The pause extended for a few moments, and then Viggo said into the silence, "If you really need to know, Elijah and I are not together. He's going through a bit of a rough time and needed a friend to lean on. That's all."
Not letting himself think about Viggo's words for the moment he opened his mouth and let the words poor out. Orli's voice was husky with emotion and tears as he spoke, every word costing him to say, but he needed to say them, "I wanted to apologize. I was... I was a thoughtless selfish prat... I... I fucked up a lot Viggo, and I'm sorry, sorry for fucking up and sorry for hurting you."
Never one to let a friend suffer, even if the suffering might have been justified in part, Viggo stepped forward and gave Orlando a long hug. "Hey... its all right, Orlando. I understand you did what you thought you needed to do.... and I forgave you a long time ago." He tightened his arms again, before letting go of the younger man. "No more recriminations, all right?"
Orli nodded, wrapping his arms around his body, trying to hold onto the feeling of Viggo's embrace for as long as possible, "I'll try?" His smile was wan and lacked the Orli charm. "I should have said this a long time ago... I... I know we can't go back, honesty forces me to admit... I don't even know if I would, but... I do love you... I still love you, and I miss you."
Standing near to Orlando, Viggo digested these words slowly. He saw the honesty on Orlando's brown eyes, the ones so many people would kill for, and heard it in his voice as well. "I miss you, too," he said softly. "Especially on those cold, windy nights we used to love."
Orli's smile was achingly sad as he nods, "Curled up on that rug, in front of the fire, feeling sorry for all those who didn't have someone to cuddle up to?"
Viggo's smile echoed his remembrance of pleasant times. "Yeah." He brushed the forefinger of his right hand over one of Orlando's perfect cheekbones. "But like you said, we can't go back."
Orli turned his head, pressing a kiss to Viggo's palm very lightly before he nodded again, "No... We can't." Searching Viggo's eyes for a long time Orli almost whispered, "And there is no going forward either... for you'll be long over me, when I feel sure enough to come out."
Viggo ducked his head once to the truth of Orlando's words. "It hurt too much to keep loving you, Orlando, knowing you were gone." He raised his eyes to study the solemn face with gentleness. "Part of me will always be yours, though I know that's no consolation."
Orli nodded, his breath just a little ragged as he turned away, looking out of the balcony windows for several minutes before speaking, "I knew it... I did... but... I... hope is cruel." He shook his head again, "if you ever need anything I... I can do or help with, I'm always here for you to call on... you know that yes?" However he didn't give Viggo a chance to answer as he continued, "I hope you find someone who makes you very, very happy Vig. You deserve that and more."
"I know... and thank you," he said softly. Stepping forward, he reached out and squeezed Orlando's shoulder once. He left quietly, not wanting to say goodbye. His heart ached for a few moments in his chest and then eased into the lingering pain he already knew. They were done... and he himself broke the last ties. Opening the door, he tossed off his shirt, headed right for the bed and curled tightly into Elijah.
Elijah's voice asked sleepily, "Where did you go?"
"Orlando wanted to talk to me," Viggo murmured. He buried himself under the covers and pulled Elijah even closer.
"I'd say I told you sooo..." Elijah yawned hugely, "If I wasn't so tired." Snuggling into Viggo Elijah let himself drift, knowing he'd hear and wake if Viggo wanted to keep talking, but just as able to fall asleep if Viggo didn't.
"You told me so?" Viggo asked, genuinely confused. "What do you mean?"
"That you'd be getting it toooo..." He yawned again, although his voice sounded a little more awake.
"Oh." Viggo fell silent, face buried in Elijah's nicely scented hair. He thought this over for a long time and then whispered, "I did not realize he was not over me. After all, he broke up with me. I would have given the world to him."
"You did Viggo... you let him go, you didn't fight him, and let him go, and take the world by storm. Something for which he will always love, and never forgive you for." Elijah sighs softly, "You were his first true love... you never stop loving that person, no matter what Vig. It's not possible."
A small smile teased the edges of Viggo's mouth. "When did you get so wise?"
"I don't know... must have been around here sometime... it's easy to be wise about someone else's life Vig, it's being wise about your own that's so bloody hard."
"You've lived a lot for someone so young," Viggo said. He pressed his mouth to Elijah's neck and blew a wet raspberry there.
Elijah squirmed a little, giggling softly, "I bet you bite." Taking a deep breath Elijah offered, "How's about, you be wise about my life, and I'll be wise about yours? And you'll keep me from making any more monumental fuck ups, like sleeping with my best mate?"
"That's a deal," Viggo agreed, "and I do bite." He blew another raspberry nearer Elijah's ear.
Elijah wriggled more this time, protestingly, "Don't! That tickles!! And I wanted to get more sleep!!!"/
Chuckling, Viggo stopped and curled around him more comfortably. His hands settled gently on Elijah's abdomen, resting there. "All right, we shall sleep a little longer in deference to your sensitive needs."
"I'm not pregnant Viggo, just tired!"
"Pregnant?" Viggo said with great amusement. "Are you hiding something from me, hobbit?"
"You're the one talking about my sensitive needs Viggo! That's the sort of thing you say to someone who's pregnant!" Elijah sighed before saying suddenly, "Yes Vig... there is... If you don't let go for a minuet, your gonna be sleeping in the not fun kind of wet spot." And as soon as Viggo loosened his arms Elijah jumped up and almost sprinted for the bathroom.
Collapsing into happy giggles for a moment, Viggo sobered when he thought about Orlando. In truth, he wanted to accept Orlando's unspoken offer for a moment. His heart remembered everything the two shared during their relationship, and his resolve weakened. Still, his better sense won out, reminding him of the changes since they split... and Elijah sleeping in his bed. Which was a strange thing to suddenly think about... or was it? Viggo tackled this problem and so doing, passed out into a dreamless sleep.
Elijah came back a few moments later and smiled, crawling into the bed, careful to not wake Viggo and snuggled into the larger man. Someone had been looking out for him when they had sent Viggo to be his friend, and he silently thanked them before closing his eyes and joining Viggo in sleep.
**********