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fellowshippers2003-07-17 12:44 am
rafasa.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2003-07-17 12:44 am
(no subject)
Title: This Time
Rating: PG
Pairing: VM/OB
Disclaimer: it's not real, darling.
Notes: warning - it's quite fluffy.
He stood out in the middle of the field behind his house with snow up to his knees and snow falling all around him. He was trying to think, and he couldn’t think anywhere. He couldn’t clear his mind and get a focus on something. He felt like he was going crazy, and he just wanted to find some peace. He had walked out into the snowy, cold weather wearing a gray t-shirt, black jeans, and white socks.
He stretched out his arms and watched as the snow slowly covered his bare skin. He noticed how his skin turned pink because of the cold. He looked up at the sky and watched millions of little white flakes flutter down to his face. As he was staring upward, he lost his balance and fell over. He turned so that he was resting on his back and continued looking up at the sky. He finally found a place to think.
He thought about the way Orlando would be worried if he knew he was out there with only a t-shirt on. He could almost picture him walking towards him quickly and scolding him for being so foolish. Orlando was always worried about things like that. He was always scared that something bad would happen to Viggo. He would have been thoughtful enough to bring Viggo’s winter coat out with him. He would wrap it around Viggo, as he would say something about not getting a cold.
Viggo loved him very much, and he knew Orlando loved him back. Maybe that was why it was always so confusing to him that they fought so much. Orlando was his best friend, his match, his mate, and he knew without a doubt that he was what made him complete. He was his other half. He just didn’t understand why they had such a rough relationship. They had just gotten in another fight the day before, and he didn’t understand why it always happened. If they cared about each other so much, why was there so much pain?
As he stared up at the sky, Viggo thought about how his world was falling slowly apart. Everything was crashing down around him, and nothing ever seemed to make sense. Things were happening all over the place for no reason, and he just wanted answers. For one time in his life, he wanted to know what was wrong. How could you fix something without knowing what was wrong with it? Why did they fight so much? It was naive to think that if he knew what was wrong, he could fix it, but that was all he had to hold onto.
With a sigh he closed his eyes and ignored the coldness that was starting to hurt. He knew Orlando was just as upset and confused as he was, but he was also just as much to blame as he was. He didn’t really know why, but he knew it couldn’t all be his fault. He blamed himself for a lot of things as was the way his mind worked, but he knew not every little thing was his fault. He knew that much.
Orlando was the only one who knew him. He was the one person whose opinion mattered to Viggo. There were so many people who would try to bring him down, but he would just remind himself that they didn’t know him at all. How could someone judge you if they didn’t know you? Orlando was the only one he shared his secrets with, and he was the only person he truly loved. That’s why no matter what happened between the two, Viggo never let go. He never threw in the towel. He hadn’t ever even thought about it. He loved Orlando, and that was that.
As he continued to think of how much Orlando meant to him, it started to dawn on him that it could be ending. All the fighting could just be a long, drawn-out ending. From the way it looked, it was going to be a very painful ending. He was suddenly scared and worried. They had held on so long to fall apart. Could it really be coming to a close? He had an intuition about these things, so once his mind lead him to a thought, his brain would run with it.
He opened his eyes and was startled to see his face looking down at him. His short, spiked brown hair had flecks of white in it. His soft, gentle brown eyes were locked on his. He was biting his lip gently, a habit he had when he was nervous. He was wearing his red jacket that was zipped up and his khaki pants, and in his hands was Viggo’s coat.
“You’re gonna get sick,” he frowned and held his coat out for him.
He smiled to himself, stood up, and took the coat from him, “thank you.”
Orlando nodded his head and looked down at the ground.
“What are you doing out here?” Viggo asked as he put the coat on.
“Um,” he paused, “I don’t really know.”
“Me either,” Viggo shrugged and put his hands in his coat pockets.
As he looked at Orlando, it was as if with every second he was slipping more and more away from him. Whenever he looked up, he could see the distance building in his eyes. It hurt him just to think of what was going on. His heart sped up in a panic at the thought of losing him completely, and he knew he had to say something.
“We’ve held on so long to fall apart,” he waited until he looked up at him and then continued, “It seems like we’ve been fighting our entire relationship, and I know you hate it just as much as I do. I know it upsets you. I just don’t know how to make it stop.”
Orlando sighed and looked up at him, “I don’t know how you want me to react to that. I don’t know the answers either, you know. How do you know this isn’t just fate telling us that we aren’t meant to be together? How do you know that isn’t just God telling us to leave each other alone?”
“Because if there’s a God,” he reached out and grabbed Orlando’s hands, “I don’t think he would give me something so wonderful just to take it away.”
“What are you saying?” Orlando looked down at their hands. Viggo was holding Orlando’s hands inside of his. Orlando loved him with all of his heart, but he was just scared. He was terrified. He had never cared about anyone so much, and all they ever seemed to do was hurt each other. How could this relationship work out? What if the fighting never stopped? Orlando didn’t think he could take much more of it, regardless of how much he loved Viggo.
“I’m saying that we love each other,” he sighed and watched Orlando carefully, “and love should be enough to get us through this. Whatever it is that’s trying to rip us apart wont be able to do it. I know it sounds cheesy, but only love can win.”
Orlando smiled up at him, “only love can win, huh?”
“Yeah,” Viggo smiled, “this time is gonna be different. We’re gonna make it. We’re gonna be okay.”
“That sounds like something out of a cheesy love song,” Orlando smiled as Viggo cupped his cheek in his hand.
They looked at each other for a moment. They had the same fears. They were scared of not making it. Orlando was wondering if he was truly Viggo’s soul mate. Viggo was wondering if he was meant to spend the rest of his life with Orlando. They both wondered if these fights would ever end, and if they would ever just be happy. In that quiet silence, they both came to realize that there would never be anyone else they would ever love.
“Life’s only hard if you let it be hard,” Viggo grinned, “and it can be as beautiful as you want it to be.”
Orlando closed his eyes and hugged Viggo tightly. They had both been waiting so long to get a little hope. They wanted to hold on so badly, they just weren’t sure if it was worth it. Perhaps this was going to have a happy ending after all.
Rating: PG
Pairing: VM/OB
Disclaimer: it's not real, darling.
Notes: warning - it's quite fluffy.
He stood out in the middle of the field behind his house with snow up to his knees and snow falling all around him. He was trying to think, and he couldn’t think anywhere. He couldn’t clear his mind and get a focus on something. He felt like he was going crazy, and he just wanted to find some peace. He had walked out into the snowy, cold weather wearing a gray t-shirt, black jeans, and white socks.
He stretched out his arms and watched as the snow slowly covered his bare skin. He noticed how his skin turned pink because of the cold. He looked up at the sky and watched millions of little white flakes flutter down to his face. As he was staring upward, he lost his balance and fell over. He turned so that he was resting on his back and continued looking up at the sky. He finally found a place to think.
He thought about the way Orlando would be worried if he knew he was out there with only a t-shirt on. He could almost picture him walking towards him quickly and scolding him for being so foolish. Orlando was always worried about things like that. He was always scared that something bad would happen to Viggo. He would have been thoughtful enough to bring Viggo’s winter coat out with him. He would wrap it around Viggo, as he would say something about not getting a cold.
Viggo loved him very much, and he knew Orlando loved him back. Maybe that was why it was always so confusing to him that they fought so much. Orlando was his best friend, his match, his mate, and he knew without a doubt that he was what made him complete. He was his other half. He just didn’t understand why they had such a rough relationship. They had just gotten in another fight the day before, and he didn’t understand why it always happened. If they cared about each other so much, why was there so much pain?
As he stared up at the sky, Viggo thought about how his world was falling slowly apart. Everything was crashing down around him, and nothing ever seemed to make sense. Things were happening all over the place for no reason, and he just wanted answers. For one time in his life, he wanted to know what was wrong. How could you fix something without knowing what was wrong with it? Why did they fight so much? It was naive to think that if he knew what was wrong, he could fix it, but that was all he had to hold onto.
With a sigh he closed his eyes and ignored the coldness that was starting to hurt. He knew Orlando was just as upset and confused as he was, but he was also just as much to blame as he was. He didn’t really know why, but he knew it couldn’t all be his fault. He blamed himself for a lot of things as was the way his mind worked, but he knew not every little thing was his fault. He knew that much.
Orlando was the only one who knew him. He was the one person whose opinion mattered to Viggo. There were so many people who would try to bring him down, but he would just remind himself that they didn’t know him at all. How could someone judge you if they didn’t know you? Orlando was the only one he shared his secrets with, and he was the only person he truly loved. That’s why no matter what happened between the two, Viggo never let go. He never threw in the towel. He hadn’t ever even thought about it. He loved Orlando, and that was that.
As he continued to think of how much Orlando meant to him, it started to dawn on him that it could be ending. All the fighting could just be a long, drawn-out ending. From the way it looked, it was going to be a very painful ending. He was suddenly scared and worried. They had held on so long to fall apart. Could it really be coming to a close? He had an intuition about these things, so once his mind lead him to a thought, his brain would run with it.
He opened his eyes and was startled to see his face looking down at him. His short, spiked brown hair had flecks of white in it. His soft, gentle brown eyes were locked on his. He was biting his lip gently, a habit he had when he was nervous. He was wearing his red jacket that was zipped up and his khaki pants, and in his hands was Viggo’s coat.
“You’re gonna get sick,” he frowned and held his coat out for him.
He smiled to himself, stood up, and took the coat from him, “thank you.”
Orlando nodded his head and looked down at the ground.
“What are you doing out here?” Viggo asked as he put the coat on.
“Um,” he paused, “I don’t really know.”
“Me either,” Viggo shrugged and put his hands in his coat pockets.
As he looked at Orlando, it was as if with every second he was slipping more and more away from him. Whenever he looked up, he could see the distance building in his eyes. It hurt him just to think of what was going on. His heart sped up in a panic at the thought of losing him completely, and he knew he had to say something.
“We’ve held on so long to fall apart,” he waited until he looked up at him and then continued, “It seems like we’ve been fighting our entire relationship, and I know you hate it just as much as I do. I know it upsets you. I just don’t know how to make it stop.”
Orlando sighed and looked up at him, “I don’t know how you want me to react to that. I don’t know the answers either, you know. How do you know this isn’t just fate telling us that we aren’t meant to be together? How do you know that isn’t just God telling us to leave each other alone?”
“Because if there’s a God,” he reached out and grabbed Orlando’s hands, “I don’t think he would give me something so wonderful just to take it away.”
“What are you saying?” Orlando looked down at their hands. Viggo was holding Orlando’s hands inside of his. Orlando loved him with all of his heart, but he was just scared. He was terrified. He had never cared about anyone so much, and all they ever seemed to do was hurt each other. How could this relationship work out? What if the fighting never stopped? Orlando didn’t think he could take much more of it, regardless of how much he loved Viggo.
“I’m saying that we love each other,” he sighed and watched Orlando carefully, “and love should be enough to get us through this. Whatever it is that’s trying to rip us apart wont be able to do it. I know it sounds cheesy, but only love can win.”
Orlando smiled up at him, “only love can win, huh?”
“Yeah,” Viggo smiled, “this time is gonna be different. We’re gonna make it. We’re gonna be okay.”
“That sounds like something out of a cheesy love song,” Orlando smiled as Viggo cupped his cheek in his hand.
They looked at each other for a moment. They had the same fears. They were scared of not making it. Orlando was wondering if he was truly Viggo’s soul mate. Viggo was wondering if he was meant to spend the rest of his life with Orlando. They both wondered if these fights would ever end, and if they would ever just be happy. In that quiet silence, they both came to realize that there would never be anyone else they would ever love.
“Life’s only hard if you let it be hard,” Viggo grinned, “and it can be as beautiful as you want it to be.”
Orlando closed his eyes and hugged Viggo tightly. They had both been waiting so long to get a little hope. They wanted to hold on so badly, they just weren’t sure if it was worth it. Perhaps this was going to have a happy ending after all.
no subject