relax, I know how to make cement (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
telesilla.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fellowshippers2005-01-27 11:49 pm
telesilla.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2005-01-27 11:49 pm
Fic: Fairest of Them All (Lotrips, Orli/Orli, PG-13, crack!fic)
Fairest of Them All
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
telesilla
Rating: PG-13
Fandom/Pairing: Lotrips, Orlando/Orlando
Archive: no where
Summary: Orlando buys eyeliner.
Disclaimer: Not RL; didn't happen. If you think this has anything to do with the real actors involved, then you need to put down the crack pipe.
Warning: crack!fic
Notes:luleh's been putting eyeliner on pictures of Orlando. So yeah, this is All Her Fault. It's also my contribution to LJ's Down the Rabbit Hole Day although it's more Through The Looking Glass than anything.
For for Lu, the Queen of Crack!Fic.
Orlando never really knew what possessed him to pick up the eyeliner pencil when he made his run to the all night Rite-Aid for Diet Coke, condoms and Hershey's Kisses -- the caramel ones. Oh sure, more and more guys were showing up on the red carpet with eyeliner; Dom did it all the time and so did Ewan McGregor. But they weren't saddled with being "the Pretty One" in every fucking movie they made -- well maybe Ewan in the Pillow Book, but that was years ago -- and Orlando felt that he'd had to fight damn hard to be thought of as manly. Eyeliner was clearly not a good weapon to use in that fight.
And yet here he was in his bathroom, well into his second diet coke & Captain Morgan's, caramel kiss wrappers all over the floor, putting eyeliner on. In spite of the drinks, he did a nicely tidy job of it; you don't go through drama school without learning how to do your eyes.
"Wow," he said looking at the mirror. "Wow, I am so fucking hot."
"You really are," the guy in the mirror replied. "Fancy a shag?"
Looking suspiciously at his glass, Orlando wondered if he'd somehow lost count and was on maybe his third or fourth drink.
"Really," the Orlando in the mirror said. "I've never seen you looking this good, and from me, that's really saying something."
"Um ... thank you," Orlando replied, hesitantly. "You look quite nice yourself."
"That's usually enough, isn't it?"
"Huh?" Orlando looked at his glass again; maybe he'd gotten a bad batch of Diet Coke.
"For you to want someone," his mirror-image replied. Orlando felt his cheeks get a little hot thinking about the number of guys the mirror would have seen over the past few years. "Oh hey, don't feel bad, they've all been really impressed with you."
"Really?" Orlando asked, perking up a bit. Not that he'd ever really doubted himself but still, a guy can be forgiven for having doubts now and then.
"Yeah, and all those dazed and satisfied smiles really make me wonder," the reflection said, giving Orlando a heavy-duty come hither look.
Maybe it was the eyeliner, or maybe it was just that Orlando had never really seen that look on his own face, but suddenly he was reaching out for the mirror. "This is impossible," he muttered just before his hand reached the glass.
"Actually," his reflection replied, as Orlando's hand met warm flesh instead of cold glass, "it is possible.
Days later, when someone finally called in the missing person's report and the police finally broke into Orlando's place, the only thing anyone said looked unusual was the eyeliner pencil next to the rum and coke on the bathroom counter.
-end-
Author:
telesillaRating: PG-13
Fandom/Pairing: Lotrips, Orlando/Orlando
Archive: no where
Summary: Orlando buys eyeliner.
Disclaimer: Not RL; didn't happen. If you think this has anything to do with the real actors involved, then you need to put down the crack pipe.
Warning: crack!fic
Notes:
luleh's been putting eyeliner on pictures of Orlando. So yeah, this is All Her Fault. It's also my contribution to LJ's Down the Rabbit Hole Day although it's more Through The Looking Glass than anything.For for Lu, the Queen of Crack!Fic.
Orlando never really knew what possessed him to pick up the eyeliner pencil when he made his run to the all night Rite-Aid for Diet Coke, condoms and Hershey's Kisses -- the caramel ones. Oh sure, more and more guys were showing up on the red carpet with eyeliner; Dom did it all the time and so did Ewan McGregor. But they weren't saddled with being "the Pretty One" in every fucking movie they made -- well maybe Ewan in the Pillow Book, but that was years ago -- and Orlando felt that he'd had to fight damn hard to be thought of as manly. Eyeliner was clearly not a good weapon to use in that fight.
And yet here he was in his bathroom, well into his second diet coke & Captain Morgan's, caramel kiss wrappers all over the floor, putting eyeliner on. In spite of the drinks, he did a nicely tidy job of it; you don't go through drama school without learning how to do your eyes.
"Wow," he said looking at the mirror. "Wow, I am so fucking hot."
"You really are," the guy in the mirror replied. "Fancy a shag?"
Looking suspiciously at his glass, Orlando wondered if he'd somehow lost count and was on maybe his third or fourth drink.
"Really," the Orlando in the mirror said. "I've never seen you looking this good, and from me, that's really saying something."
"Um ... thank you," Orlando replied, hesitantly. "You look quite nice yourself."
"That's usually enough, isn't it?"
"Huh?" Orlando looked at his glass again; maybe he'd gotten a bad batch of Diet Coke.
"For you to want someone," his mirror-image replied. Orlando felt his cheeks get a little hot thinking about the number of guys the mirror would have seen over the past few years. "Oh hey, don't feel bad, they've all been really impressed with you."
"Really?" Orlando asked, perking up a bit. Not that he'd ever really doubted himself but still, a guy can be forgiven for having doubts now and then.
"Yeah, and all those dazed and satisfied smiles really make me wonder," the reflection said, giving Orlando a heavy-duty come hither look.
Maybe it was the eyeliner, or maybe it was just that Orlando had never really seen that look on his own face, but suddenly he was reaching out for the mirror. "This is impossible," he muttered just before his hand reached the glass.
"Actually," his reflection replied, as Orlando's hand met warm flesh instead of cold glass, "it is possible.
Days later, when someone finally called in the missing person's report and the police finally broke into Orlando's place, the only thing anyone said looked unusual was the eyeliner pencil next to the rum and coke on the bathroom counter.
-end-
no subject
fucking weird, but I really liked this... what a way to go hey?
no subject
and now i'm weary of my reflection in the mirror.no subject
This is awesome-possum.
I don't really usually hang around these parts, just glad I dropped in, and thought I'd say, um, this rules.