ext_29511 (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
pecos.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fellowshippers2004-12-09 10:04 pm
pecos.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2004-12-09 10:04 pm
Sidi Puppy Stories continued...
Lame jokes (and I DO mean lame!)
RPS: Viggo and Sean Bean are pounding back the drinks in a Bar when Viggo abruptly keels over backward, off his stool, and slams hard into the floor. “That’s one thing I like about Viggo,” Sean slurs to the bartender. “He always knows when to stop.”
Why does Orlando have to pay more for his car insurance than his girlfriend? Because Kate can’t get a blowjob while she’s driving.
FPS: What do you call an Orc in a suit? The Defendant.
What’s the fastest way to Wormtongue’s heart? Under the ribs with an Elven dagger.
My apologies for the above. I have no reasonable excuse. However I DO have an excuse for the following chapter of The Luckiest Dog in The World (14!)...cough syrup, and Lots of it!
Title: Tricks for Treats
Series: The Luckiest Dog in the World - 14
Author: Pecos – PecosPhil@sprintmail.com
Website: http://www.chimerafic.com
Rating: PG - adult language, innuendo
Feedback: remember the golden rule, (please!)
Disclaimer: I don’t make the toys, I’m
only playing with them. No money made,
nor disrespect intended
Who’s in it?: Orlando Bloom, his Dog, his pals...
Note: Please forgive any intentional or
unintentional abuse of facts and history.
Summary: Sidi is Orlando’s dog, and he’s got a
story to tell
Additional Note: Sidi clearly has a shaky grasp
on geography
Tricks for Treats
Hello Nice Person who is reading about my Dog Life! I hope that your life is Good and your Pack is Healthy and Strong! Maybe you are wanting to know more about my own excellent Pack and what else happened to me and my People, so I am going to tell you now about the Adventure I had next after the last stuff. I hope you are comfortable to read my story and hear about the exciting things! You should probably have a Snack first.
You will maybe remember that my Alpha Male and I were visiting with our Pack-mate Hobbit friend Dominic Quick-fingers when Chemical-smell Man Viggo came to us there and it was Good to see him again! He is one of my most favorite People in the whole world! He talked to my Alpha Male for a long time and there was lots of Nice words and some Sad words and my Alpha made the sad water from his eyes a little. Dominic gave me a snack (which I really needed!) and then we two went back to our Lost Angeles Den to sleep for the night. I did the sleeping, because I was Tired! after such a long day, but I think that my Orlando was mostly talking to his Bitch, Kate, and they were both making the Sorry! language with their voices and their bodies.
I don’t know what all happened between the People in our house, but the next morning I was in the yard with Essa making a good big shit and enjoying the cool air and I heard a big Car drive up to the house. I ran inside Barking! mostly for fun and to say ‘Hello!’ because I knew the sound of that big Car, and sure enough it was Viggo at the door again! I like it when he comes to the door! (Not like that Evil Guy in the Brown Truck, who’s up to No Good!)
Kate made stiff body language toward Viggo and he seemed to be trying to say Sorry to her about something, but what I was more concerned with was that Orlando had apparently filled his Little Bag during the night, and it was in the hallway. I went to sniff it with a very Bad Feeling about what this could mean, and then my Alpha set down the Sidi Bag too, and I was Really Happy to see That One out! I barked and ran around the house like a Crazy! Dog and Essa was running too! Our leashes came out and then I knew that the Two Dogs! were going for a Long Ride! -- but I had no idea how long it would turn out to be.
Who knew that we were going on a Trip with Viggo and Orlando? Not me! We got into Viggo’s big Car, which is called SUV, because it has room for Dogs to look out lots of windows and you can lie down and stretch out, and there was a brand new rawhide Chewtoy! for each of us and this was obviously going to be a Good Trip! Essa was nervous about riding, because she gets sick sometimes, but the SUV is big and the wind was fresh as we drove away from Lost Angeles. My tail was wagging almost constantly.
My Alpha teased Viggo about riding in SUV, and said he was a ‘sell out’ and a Puppy of someone named Hally Burton. Viggo took the teasing pretty good and said that Prissy Elves enjoy their cozy rides too and that it took lots of room for two mutts and a boy with too much luggage. I looked around but there wasn’t any puppies or prissy elves in the luggage. But there was Crunchy Good Things in there, because I could smell them!
The Ride went on for a long, long, long time. We stopped every now and then to piss and shit and the People got snacks and drinks, most of which they weren’t sharing very well. Essa ran around like an Idiot! Dog because she likes to run, but I’m a lot more experienced at this Riding in Things, and I knew better than to waste all of my energy, or you wouldn’t be awake to stick your nose out the window when something interesting goes by.
We Rode for so long that it got dark in the sky. My Alpha Drove the big Car too when Viggo said he was tired, and Essa got to sleep with her head on his lap. I thought that wasn’t very fair, because Viggo likes me better than her, but I decided not to make a fight about it. My Alpha talked to me for a long time in the dark as the world moved past us. I didn’t know all of his words, but I love to hear his soft voice.
We finally got to a somewhere place and Orlando stopped at a lit-up building with Cars and Trucks around it, and he got out while Viggo was still sleeping, and when he came back he drove just a short ways and then woke up his Male-mate Viggo to go inside for the littlest Den I’ve ever seen. The Dogs got fed our Crunchy Good Things and went for a way-too-short walk, but we got a whole bed of our own to sleep on and Essa and I curled up and made a nest. Of course I was also Guarding the Pack, and I woke up at every noise (which there was a Lot Of) but nobody came to the door that night or snuck around and there was no Evil Guys to worry about.
In the morning I was whining to go outside so I could do an Inspection but Viggo told me “Shush, Sidi!” He was under the sheets with my Alpha Male tucked against him and sleeping and I think Viggo just didn’t want to get up. I waited quietly for a while, but then Essa whined too because she had to do Important outside Stuff and I could tell that the People were deep asleep. That’s when I remembered the Trick that Viggo had showed me once about cold Dog noses and warm sleeping People skin.
I burrowed under the covers and licked the bottom of someone’s foot, and just like that Viggo was up and awake and ready to let us go outside! That’s a Great Trick! When we came back into the littlest Den ever my Alpha was in the water room singing a song and splashing. Viggo turned on the noisy box and then went in there too, and the two of them were soon laughing and thumping and making a lot more noise than they really needed to for just washing their skins.
After that we left pretty quick, and drove just a little while until there was a Food Place. This Food Place was wonderfully smelly and there was big Trucks all around it. Viggo said it was in You-Tah, and the people in You-Tah are really nice about letting Dogs come inside, as long as you behave yourself and stay out of the way under the table. There was lots of stuff to eat down there, and we also got nibble-sized Treats from fingers of both men while they were talking to each other and eating. The waitress woman said she thought our Pack was Very Handsome and she especially petted Essa. It was getting harder not to mind that she gets more Treats than I do.
That turned out to be an Excellent Day! with more driving the SUV. The land was very strange, and sometimes it looked like the sandy places where I grew up. We had probably Driven all the way to Morocco agai! It was hot outside when we would stop to take care of Important Stuff, and Essa and I had to drink lots of water from our bowls because your muzzle gets dry in the air there, especially with your head out the window sniffing the passing air. We passed through places where there were People around, but then the places were behind us again and there was nothing but the world around us.
By then my Alpha was talking more than he had the day before. He was saying things about his family Pack and stuff that had happened with his Play Packs. He talked about someone called ‘Erik’ who made my Alpha laugh, and he talked about Sean, who you might remember is really Treats-in-Pocket Man, and we like him a Lot! Viggo wanted to stop driving sometimes to make *snap!* things with his little boxes and he talked about Pictures and Poems. He said a couple of Poems to Orlando and I listened carefully because I wanted to know what a Poem was.
It turns out that Poems are words that flow like nice cool water and stroke the inside of your ear like a really good petting. They don’t smell like anything, but they feel a little like music. I think they stroked Orlando’s ear too, because he liked them Very Much and he made a Poem back to Viggo. Viggo laughed and said the he couldn’t compete with Shake Speer. I don’t think anyone was shaking something. A little while later Essa got pushy over the patch of shade in the back and I snapped at her. I got told to ‘Stop it Sidi!’ and then we stopped Driving for more Food, but the Dogs had to stay outside tied to a tree in the dirt. I knew that was all Essa’s fault that time!
The day was getting late again and the world was much softer now around us. The horizon was all high hills, higher than I’ve ever seen before, and there were trees everywhere and the air was now cool and smelled alive. The People were starting to be excited and we came to a small city called Drum Mund and we were in a Place called Idaho and for some strange reason I felt like we were going to a Den where we would be welcomed and there wouldn’t be ANY Evil Guys in Brown Trucks out here.
There was a long dusty road and then a Place and Viggo stopped to say ‘Hello!’ to a Man who was Viggo’s littermate, if I guessed his smell right. The littermate had a Family and other Dogs, and Essa and I had to stay inside SUV because maybe they thought I was going to be Dominant, even though the other Dogs seemed to be friendly. My People got back in and we Drove for a while more, and then there was a big house there and other buildings and there were trees all around and I could smell Horses! and grass and a sweet smell of something pure and cold and unspoiled by People Stuff and I was Very Happy to be there!
I ran all around as fast as I could, barking! the Happy-Bark! and chasing Essa and letting her chase me! Viggo whistled us to come inside and then I had the whole big house to inspect, and that took quite a long time to do! My Alpha was opening the windows and pulling cloths off of the furniture, and Viggo made a fire inside and warned me not to Play near it, but I already know about fires and I’m a Smart Dog! Someone drove up outside and it was the littermate from before, and he had Food in boxes and he gave it to us and then left again.
Viggo and my Alpha made Food together, and we got to eat some of it as well as our Crunchy Good Things. The People were talking softly to each other as they made the Food hot and they touched hands and faces and they were behaving differently here than they do when we’re in Other Places, so I think that this House will be called Loving Den.
It was getting dark in the sky and the air was very cool as Essa and I ran around Outside. We were almost too excited to find good places to make shit, but we got that done and I marked every corner I could find. All the other Marks were too old to even tell who had made them, and I think some places had no Marks at all, so this whole house belonged to Me now! I smelled Cat! and other animals, and something very, very Stinky-smell had passed through recently. Viggo sat outside sucking on a burning weed stick, and Orlando pressed up beside him, with a big old blanket wrapped around him. He was smiling and the hair on his head stuck up crooked. He didn’t even care about that, and he usually Always cares about how his hair sticks.
There was a sound from far away that made me stop, frozen, listening, and my heart seemed to stop its beating for a moment. It was a song, sung with yipping and sharp, high barks, and I’d never heard a song like it before. This wasn’t coyote singing, because I know what that is. I don’t know what kind of animal was singing the song, but it was Not-Dog. The song was very sad and beautiful and Essa whined when she heard it.
“Sidi, Essa, come here, puppies,” Viggo called into the night air. I went to him, but slowly, listening to that song. Essa whined again. Another Not-Dog sang from somewhere else in the hills above the Loving Den, and this time Essa put her tail between her legs and went to the door for Inside.
“They won’t come down here, will they?” my Alpha asked softly. I think that the song was affecting his heart too.
“No. Probably not,” Viggo said. “We’ll keep an eye on the Dogs anyway.” That was a silly thing to say, if you think about it. Dogs guard the humans, not the other way around...usually. I heard the Not-Dogs Barking! in the woods and I had no idea what the Bark said! It was a language that I felt I should know, but I didn’t (Sorta like German, maybe). I decided it Was Time to go Inside for the night. The People finally got up and we all got comfortable around the burning fire.
Apparently they have Get Off! couches in Idaho too.
My People cuddled together like littermates and there was not a lot of talking, but a lot of touching and whispers and sighs. They went in to the bed later and I took the warm spot they left so I could watch the Door. The Not-Dogs sang at times during the night, but they didn’t come too close to the house, so I was able to get some sleep for myself.
The next day started out Real Good, and then it got Better! There was Food being made in the kitchen and a whole box of eggs got dropped with the loud word of “Fuckinghell!” from my Alpha, who was without cloth skins. His feet danced around trying to shoo us Dogs away from doing our Job until he saw that it was hopeless for getting the eggs back in their boxes again, and then he said ‘go ahead, kids,’ so Fart-smell Dog and I got a early morning Treat!
After that was some Exploring around the Outside area as Viggo beat up on some dead tree bits. I was chasing Essa through the flowers when a Truck came up dragging a box behind it and the Man from the day before got out with big smiles. He had a Dog riding with him and she was a Nice Bitch who was happy to see us and not at all territorial about the Loving Den, so we got to know each other with sniffs and yelps and happy Hello! body language. The box had two Horses in it, and they got let out and Viggo was very happy to see them!
He called one of the horses a name like You-ray-us and the Horse snorted and pushed his big head against Viggo’s chest and blew hot grass-smell breath into his face. My Alpha came out to see the Horses and the People finally took them over to one of the Outside buildings and inside, where I hadn’t been yet, so I went too.
There was a very nasty surprise inside that building – a Cat!
It was a scruffy, nasty, Mean Cat! with Evil glowing eyes and I sniffed it out immediately and started to let it know that I would Eat It! But the Cat hit me with its claws and scratched me right on the end of my nose! and you Know how much That hurts! I yelped and Orlando came to see what was wrong, and then he told me that I would have to just learn my lesson and live with it! I think that was not very nice, because the Cat! now thought that it had a Right to scratch Good Dogs if it wanted to! Orlando touched my nose with something nasty and said I would ‘survive’, which I already knew, but it hurt and I was already planning ways to get even with that Cat!
Essa and the other Dog (who I would call Woodsmoke-pinesap Bitch with the Long Hair) didn’t get into trouble with the Cat!, so I know that it was personal to Me. My two People got leashes on the Horses and some other things and then they got on top of them and started Riding off into the trees. Essa and I had to run to keep up with them sometimes, and it took me a while to figure out that Horses will hit you with their foot if you get too close behind them or even look like maybe you’re going to bite them on the leg. This was turning out to be a day with painful lessons for Sidi! Essa got kicked at more than me though, so she’s not as Smart as I am!
The Horses walked a long ways, and Orlando was so happy that he sang songs in his Good voice. Viggo sang with him too sometimes, and in between I could hear birds I’d never heard before and there were many, many smells I’d never seen before. I was panting hard, but Happy! The Horses got a chance to run in a meadow full of flowers and grass so long that I had to bound to see ahead of me at times, and by the time Essa and I caught up we were really tired! Viggo got off of his horse and picked Essa up, handing her to Orlando where he sat on top of his horse. Essa got comfortable there like she was used to riding on a Horse top. Then Viggo somehow managed to pick me up and get back on his own Horse and I learned what it was like to see the Whole World from way up that high and to ride the strange motion of the Horse walking!
All of us, People, Dogs, and Horses, went further into the trees and grass and flowers, and the air was sharp and pure and full of fresh new things! After a while I got down off the Horse to run alongside again and we came back to the Loving Den in its place on the slope of trees. Viggo made a place for the Horses in the barn with the Evil Cat!, and I decided that I would hope that Cat! got left alone out there and went without Crunchy Good Things to eat and maybe it would starve!
The Dogs got lots of fresh, cool water to drink and there was a hose with water in it to wash off dust and Horse-sweat and make you cool, and I didn’t even mind that it also washed away the delicious odor of Horseshit and flower meadow too. It was later in the day by then and Viggo wanted to go do something called ‘fishing.’
That sounded Good to me too, so I went with him while Essa stayed at the Loving Den with Orlando, probably hogging all of his attention and getting Treats. It turned out that this fishing thing is just goofing off standing and sitting beside a lake, and you’re not even supposed to go inside the water and splash around. I guess that was okay though, because it was Cold! in that water!
I lay in the sun and slept some and had a Dream about a Pack of Not-Dogs. One of the Bitches in the Not-Dog Pack had white fur and a very full, long tail, and she was the most Beautiful Bitch I had ever seen in my life! I dreamed that she let me mount her and I became the Alpha of that Pack and we ran through the forests and the meadows and the hills and it was Very Exciting!
I woke up to Viggo calling my name, and he had a bunch of dead fish hanging from a chain and he wanted to walk back to the house. I showed him the way, using the smell of our Loving Den to guide me, and Viggo followed me while talking softly about things I don’t understand. He stepped up onto the porch and proudly held out his stinky dead fish and Orlando came out the door and made a face when he saw them.
“I’m not cleaning those!” my Alpha said loudly, and it made my muzzle wrinkle in humor. Everybody knows that my Alpha doesn’t clean anything!
RPS: Viggo and Sean Bean are pounding back the drinks in a Bar when Viggo abruptly keels over backward, off his stool, and slams hard into the floor. “That’s one thing I like about Viggo,” Sean slurs to the bartender. “He always knows when to stop.”
Why does Orlando have to pay more for his car insurance than his girlfriend? Because Kate can’t get a blowjob while she’s driving.
FPS: What do you call an Orc in a suit? The Defendant.
What’s the fastest way to Wormtongue’s heart? Under the ribs with an Elven dagger.
My apologies for the above. I have no reasonable excuse. However I DO have an excuse for the following chapter of The Luckiest Dog in The World (14!)...cough syrup, and Lots of it!
Title: Tricks for Treats
Series: The Luckiest Dog in the World - 14
Author: Pecos – PecosPhil@sprintmail.com
Website: http://www.chimerafic.com
Rating: PG - adult language, innuendo
Feedback: remember the golden rule, (please!)
Disclaimer: I don’t make the toys, I’m
only playing with them. No money made,
nor disrespect intended
Who’s in it?: Orlando Bloom, his Dog, his pals...
Note: Please forgive any intentional or
unintentional abuse of facts and history.
Summary: Sidi is Orlando’s dog, and he’s got a
story to tell
Additional Note: Sidi clearly has a shaky grasp
on geography
Tricks for Treats
Hello Nice Person who is reading about my Dog Life! I hope that your life is Good and your Pack is Healthy and Strong! Maybe you are wanting to know more about my own excellent Pack and what else happened to me and my People, so I am going to tell you now about the Adventure I had next after the last stuff. I hope you are comfortable to read my story and hear about the exciting things! You should probably have a Snack first.
You will maybe remember that my Alpha Male and I were visiting with our Pack-mate Hobbit friend Dominic Quick-fingers when Chemical-smell Man Viggo came to us there and it was Good to see him again! He is one of my most favorite People in the whole world! He talked to my Alpha Male for a long time and there was lots of Nice words and some Sad words and my Alpha made the sad water from his eyes a little. Dominic gave me a snack (which I really needed!) and then we two went back to our Lost Angeles Den to sleep for the night. I did the sleeping, because I was Tired! after such a long day, but I think that my Orlando was mostly talking to his Bitch, Kate, and they were both making the Sorry! language with their voices and their bodies.
I don’t know what all happened between the People in our house, but the next morning I was in the yard with Essa making a good big shit and enjoying the cool air and I heard a big Car drive up to the house. I ran inside Barking! mostly for fun and to say ‘Hello!’ because I knew the sound of that big Car, and sure enough it was Viggo at the door again! I like it when he comes to the door! (Not like that Evil Guy in the Brown Truck, who’s up to No Good!)
Kate made stiff body language toward Viggo and he seemed to be trying to say Sorry to her about something, but what I was more concerned with was that Orlando had apparently filled his Little Bag during the night, and it was in the hallway. I went to sniff it with a very Bad Feeling about what this could mean, and then my Alpha set down the Sidi Bag too, and I was Really Happy to see That One out! I barked and ran around the house like a Crazy! Dog and Essa was running too! Our leashes came out and then I knew that the Two Dogs! were going for a Long Ride! -- but I had no idea how long it would turn out to be.
Who knew that we were going on a Trip with Viggo and Orlando? Not me! We got into Viggo’s big Car, which is called SUV, because it has room for Dogs to look out lots of windows and you can lie down and stretch out, and there was a brand new rawhide Chewtoy! for each of us and this was obviously going to be a Good Trip! Essa was nervous about riding, because she gets sick sometimes, but the SUV is big and the wind was fresh as we drove away from Lost Angeles. My tail was wagging almost constantly.
My Alpha teased Viggo about riding in SUV, and said he was a ‘sell out’ and a Puppy of someone named Hally Burton. Viggo took the teasing pretty good and said that Prissy Elves enjoy their cozy rides too and that it took lots of room for two mutts and a boy with too much luggage. I looked around but there wasn’t any puppies or prissy elves in the luggage. But there was Crunchy Good Things in there, because I could smell them!
The Ride went on for a long, long, long time. We stopped every now and then to piss and shit and the People got snacks and drinks, most of which they weren’t sharing very well. Essa ran around like an Idiot! Dog because she likes to run, but I’m a lot more experienced at this Riding in Things, and I knew better than to waste all of my energy, or you wouldn’t be awake to stick your nose out the window when something interesting goes by.
We Rode for so long that it got dark in the sky. My Alpha Drove the big Car too when Viggo said he was tired, and Essa got to sleep with her head on his lap. I thought that wasn’t very fair, because Viggo likes me better than her, but I decided not to make a fight about it. My Alpha talked to me for a long time in the dark as the world moved past us. I didn’t know all of his words, but I love to hear his soft voice.
We finally got to a somewhere place and Orlando stopped at a lit-up building with Cars and Trucks around it, and he got out while Viggo was still sleeping, and when he came back he drove just a short ways and then woke up his Male-mate Viggo to go inside for the littlest Den I’ve ever seen. The Dogs got fed our Crunchy Good Things and went for a way-too-short walk, but we got a whole bed of our own to sleep on and Essa and I curled up and made a nest. Of course I was also Guarding the Pack, and I woke up at every noise (which there was a Lot Of) but nobody came to the door that night or snuck around and there was no Evil Guys to worry about.
In the morning I was whining to go outside so I could do an Inspection but Viggo told me “Shush, Sidi!” He was under the sheets with my Alpha Male tucked against him and sleeping and I think Viggo just didn’t want to get up. I waited quietly for a while, but then Essa whined too because she had to do Important outside Stuff and I could tell that the People were deep asleep. That’s when I remembered the Trick that Viggo had showed me once about cold Dog noses and warm sleeping People skin.
I burrowed under the covers and licked the bottom of someone’s foot, and just like that Viggo was up and awake and ready to let us go outside! That’s a Great Trick! When we came back into the littlest Den ever my Alpha was in the water room singing a song and splashing. Viggo turned on the noisy box and then went in there too, and the two of them were soon laughing and thumping and making a lot more noise than they really needed to for just washing their skins.
After that we left pretty quick, and drove just a little while until there was a Food Place. This Food Place was wonderfully smelly and there was big Trucks all around it. Viggo said it was in You-Tah, and the people in You-Tah are really nice about letting Dogs come inside, as long as you behave yourself and stay out of the way under the table. There was lots of stuff to eat down there, and we also got nibble-sized Treats from fingers of both men while they were talking to each other and eating. The waitress woman said she thought our Pack was Very Handsome and she especially petted Essa. It was getting harder not to mind that she gets more Treats than I do.
That turned out to be an Excellent Day! with more driving the SUV. The land was very strange, and sometimes it looked like the sandy places where I grew up. We had probably Driven all the way to Morocco agai! It was hot outside when we would stop to take care of Important Stuff, and Essa and I had to drink lots of water from our bowls because your muzzle gets dry in the air there, especially with your head out the window sniffing the passing air. We passed through places where there were People around, but then the places were behind us again and there was nothing but the world around us.
By then my Alpha was talking more than he had the day before. He was saying things about his family Pack and stuff that had happened with his Play Packs. He talked about someone called ‘Erik’ who made my Alpha laugh, and he talked about Sean, who you might remember is really Treats-in-Pocket Man, and we like him a Lot! Viggo wanted to stop driving sometimes to make *snap!* things with his little boxes and he talked about Pictures and Poems. He said a couple of Poems to Orlando and I listened carefully because I wanted to know what a Poem was.
It turns out that Poems are words that flow like nice cool water and stroke the inside of your ear like a really good petting. They don’t smell like anything, but they feel a little like music. I think they stroked Orlando’s ear too, because he liked them Very Much and he made a Poem back to Viggo. Viggo laughed and said the he couldn’t compete with Shake Speer. I don’t think anyone was shaking something. A little while later Essa got pushy over the patch of shade in the back and I snapped at her. I got told to ‘Stop it Sidi!’ and then we stopped Driving for more Food, but the Dogs had to stay outside tied to a tree in the dirt. I knew that was all Essa’s fault that time!
The day was getting late again and the world was much softer now around us. The horizon was all high hills, higher than I’ve ever seen before, and there were trees everywhere and the air was now cool and smelled alive. The People were starting to be excited and we came to a small city called Drum Mund and we were in a Place called Idaho and for some strange reason I felt like we were going to a Den where we would be welcomed and there wouldn’t be ANY Evil Guys in Brown Trucks out here.
There was a long dusty road and then a Place and Viggo stopped to say ‘Hello!’ to a Man who was Viggo’s littermate, if I guessed his smell right. The littermate had a Family and other Dogs, and Essa and I had to stay inside SUV because maybe they thought I was going to be Dominant, even though the other Dogs seemed to be friendly. My People got back in and we Drove for a while more, and then there was a big house there and other buildings and there were trees all around and I could smell Horses! and grass and a sweet smell of something pure and cold and unspoiled by People Stuff and I was Very Happy to be there!
I ran all around as fast as I could, barking! the Happy-Bark! and chasing Essa and letting her chase me! Viggo whistled us to come inside and then I had the whole big house to inspect, and that took quite a long time to do! My Alpha was opening the windows and pulling cloths off of the furniture, and Viggo made a fire inside and warned me not to Play near it, but I already know about fires and I’m a Smart Dog! Someone drove up outside and it was the littermate from before, and he had Food in boxes and he gave it to us and then left again.
Viggo and my Alpha made Food together, and we got to eat some of it as well as our Crunchy Good Things. The People were talking softly to each other as they made the Food hot and they touched hands and faces and they were behaving differently here than they do when we’re in Other Places, so I think that this House will be called Loving Den.
It was getting dark in the sky and the air was very cool as Essa and I ran around Outside. We were almost too excited to find good places to make shit, but we got that done and I marked every corner I could find. All the other Marks were too old to even tell who had made them, and I think some places had no Marks at all, so this whole house belonged to Me now! I smelled Cat! and other animals, and something very, very Stinky-smell had passed through recently. Viggo sat outside sucking on a burning weed stick, and Orlando pressed up beside him, with a big old blanket wrapped around him. He was smiling and the hair on his head stuck up crooked. He didn’t even care about that, and he usually Always cares about how his hair sticks.
There was a sound from far away that made me stop, frozen, listening, and my heart seemed to stop its beating for a moment. It was a song, sung with yipping and sharp, high barks, and I’d never heard a song like it before. This wasn’t coyote singing, because I know what that is. I don’t know what kind of animal was singing the song, but it was Not-Dog. The song was very sad and beautiful and Essa whined when she heard it.
“Sidi, Essa, come here, puppies,” Viggo called into the night air. I went to him, but slowly, listening to that song. Essa whined again. Another Not-Dog sang from somewhere else in the hills above the Loving Den, and this time Essa put her tail between her legs and went to the door for Inside.
“They won’t come down here, will they?” my Alpha asked softly. I think that the song was affecting his heart too.
“No. Probably not,” Viggo said. “We’ll keep an eye on the Dogs anyway.” That was a silly thing to say, if you think about it. Dogs guard the humans, not the other way around...usually. I heard the Not-Dogs Barking! in the woods and I had no idea what the Bark said! It was a language that I felt I should know, but I didn’t (Sorta like German, maybe). I decided it Was Time to go Inside for the night. The People finally got up and we all got comfortable around the burning fire.
Apparently they have Get Off! couches in Idaho too.
My People cuddled together like littermates and there was not a lot of talking, but a lot of touching and whispers and sighs. They went in to the bed later and I took the warm spot they left so I could watch the Door. The Not-Dogs sang at times during the night, but they didn’t come too close to the house, so I was able to get some sleep for myself.
The next day started out Real Good, and then it got Better! There was Food being made in the kitchen and a whole box of eggs got dropped with the loud word of “Fuckinghell!” from my Alpha, who was without cloth skins. His feet danced around trying to shoo us Dogs away from doing our Job until he saw that it was hopeless for getting the eggs back in their boxes again, and then he said ‘go ahead, kids,’ so Fart-smell Dog and I got a early morning Treat!
After that was some Exploring around the Outside area as Viggo beat up on some dead tree bits. I was chasing Essa through the flowers when a Truck came up dragging a box behind it and the Man from the day before got out with big smiles. He had a Dog riding with him and she was a Nice Bitch who was happy to see us and not at all territorial about the Loving Den, so we got to know each other with sniffs and yelps and happy Hello! body language. The box had two Horses in it, and they got let out and Viggo was very happy to see them!
He called one of the horses a name like You-ray-us and the Horse snorted and pushed his big head against Viggo’s chest and blew hot grass-smell breath into his face. My Alpha came out to see the Horses and the People finally took them over to one of the Outside buildings and inside, where I hadn’t been yet, so I went too.
There was a very nasty surprise inside that building – a Cat!
It was a scruffy, nasty, Mean Cat! with Evil glowing eyes and I sniffed it out immediately and started to let it know that I would Eat It! But the Cat hit me with its claws and scratched me right on the end of my nose! and you Know how much That hurts! I yelped and Orlando came to see what was wrong, and then he told me that I would have to just learn my lesson and live with it! I think that was not very nice, because the Cat! now thought that it had a Right to scratch Good Dogs if it wanted to! Orlando touched my nose with something nasty and said I would ‘survive’, which I already knew, but it hurt and I was already planning ways to get even with that Cat!
Essa and the other Dog (who I would call Woodsmoke-pinesap Bitch with the Long Hair) didn’t get into trouble with the Cat!, so I know that it was personal to Me. My two People got leashes on the Horses and some other things and then they got on top of them and started Riding off into the trees. Essa and I had to run to keep up with them sometimes, and it took me a while to figure out that Horses will hit you with their foot if you get too close behind them or even look like maybe you’re going to bite them on the leg. This was turning out to be a day with painful lessons for Sidi! Essa got kicked at more than me though, so she’s not as Smart as I am!
The Horses walked a long ways, and Orlando was so happy that he sang songs in his Good voice. Viggo sang with him too sometimes, and in between I could hear birds I’d never heard before and there were many, many smells I’d never seen before. I was panting hard, but Happy! The Horses got a chance to run in a meadow full of flowers and grass so long that I had to bound to see ahead of me at times, and by the time Essa and I caught up we were really tired! Viggo got off of his horse and picked Essa up, handing her to Orlando where he sat on top of his horse. Essa got comfortable there like she was used to riding on a Horse top. Then Viggo somehow managed to pick me up and get back on his own Horse and I learned what it was like to see the Whole World from way up that high and to ride the strange motion of the Horse walking!
All of us, People, Dogs, and Horses, went further into the trees and grass and flowers, and the air was sharp and pure and full of fresh new things! After a while I got down off the Horse to run alongside again and we came back to the Loving Den in its place on the slope of trees. Viggo made a place for the Horses in the barn with the Evil Cat!, and I decided that I would hope that Cat! got left alone out there and went without Crunchy Good Things to eat and maybe it would starve!
The Dogs got lots of fresh, cool water to drink and there was a hose with water in it to wash off dust and Horse-sweat and make you cool, and I didn’t even mind that it also washed away the delicious odor of Horseshit and flower meadow too. It was later in the day by then and Viggo wanted to go do something called ‘fishing.’
That sounded Good to me too, so I went with him while Essa stayed at the Loving Den with Orlando, probably hogging all of his attention and getting Treats. It turned out that this fishing thing is just goofing off standing and sitting beside a lake, and you’re not even supposed to go inside the water and splash around. I guess that was okay though, because it was Cold! in that water!
I lay in the sun and slept some and had a Dream about a Pack of Not-Dogs. One of the Bitches in the Not-Dog Pack had white fur and a very full, long tail, and she was the most Beautiful Bitch I had ever seen in my life! I dreamed that she let me mount her and I became the Alpha of that Pack and we ran through the forests and the meadows and the hills and it was Very Exciting!
I woke up to Viggo calling my name, and he had a bunch of dead fish hanging from a chain and he wanted to walk back to the house. I showed him the way, using the smell of our Loving Den to guide me, and Viggo followed me while talking softly about things I don’t understand. He stepped up onto the porch and proudly held out his stinky dead fish and Orlando came out the door and made a face when he saw them.
“I’m not cleaning those!” my Alpha said loudly, and it made my muzzle wrinkle in humor. Everybody knows that my Alpha doesn’t clean anything!
no subject
Sean, who you might remember is really Treats-in-Pocket Man
Hee! Thank you for sharing.
no subject
no subject
*sniffle*
no subject
no subject
What happened to Dominic Quick-Fingers? Where did he go?
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
So many different experiences. The mood changed so much and there were references to so many things. One of my favoutites was:
"then the places were behind us again and there was nothing but the world around us.'
Which made me feel a little melancholy (shades of Pippin's Song).
and thanks for asking about our pack - Flozzie let us accompany her to the Santa Parade (although she still runs about in the car, I think she is giving instructions and advice - "Noooo, not there - that's the nasty Vet place!" and "Left! Left! Left! Drat you missed it!" and "Watch out! That one might swerve!" and 'Look! Roadkill - Let's go back and roll in it!"
The Parade was good, no dogs fainted 'cos of the heat this year (was cold and showery) and the barbeque afterwards for the dog club was excellent.
Thanks again.