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fellowshippers2004-11-19 12:39 pm
andrealyn) wrote in fellowshippers2004-11-19 12:39 pm
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Title: The Signs of the Zodiac 7/12
Pairing: Bean/Orlando, Dom/Billy
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Not mine, never happened.
Summary: Orlando's life goes through quite a bit in the course of twelve months.
Notes: So, thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
captnobvious and beizy for hand-holding in the early days and to shaenie who completely ripped the first draft of this apart. Many thanks. Couldn't have done it without you. Previous parts can be found here.
VIRGO
August 28th
Dom twitched.
He paced around the phone.
When it finally rang, he jumped to pick it up.
“Hello?” he said immediately, his nerves crumbling before him as he sat down on the floor with the phone tightly pressed to his ear. “No, we wouldn’t like paneling for our windows,” he growled with an irritated edge. “No, we’re quite happy with the door, and it’s Monaghan, not managgin,” he snapped before hanging up. He closed his eyes tightly and tried to will away the persistent and nagging voice in his head that told him that Orlando didn’t give a flying fuck about his condition.
Dom caught Billy watching him silently from the doorway. Dom rocked back and forth in the chair, waiting for the phone to ring. Billy didn’t move in the corner of his eye, and the air between them seemed to be breathing Orlando’s name in slow puffs – Dom felt just a little crazier for thinking that though.
“I swear to fucking god Orlando, I’m going to kill you,” Dom muttered quietly, over and over again. When the phone didn’t ring for ten minutes, Billy entered the room, and stood right beside Dom.
“Dom?” Billy spoke softly and Dom jumped at the sound.
“What?” Dom started guiltily. “I was just sitting,” he added with a nervous laugh, smiling. The very act of forcing the muscles in his face upwards strained him and seemed to be threatening to snap.
“Did you want to go out for dinner before we celebrate my birthday?” Billy asked. Dom considered this before shaking his head. “Are you sure?”
“I really don’t have much of an appetite,” he admitted, turning away to wince because he knew that it was yet another thing to add into the pile of ‘Things Making Billy And Dom’s Relationship Tense’.
“Dom!” Billy snapped. Dom turned back to look at him, feeling like a terrified deer in headlights. He crumbled a little – his posture bending forward and his body convulsing. Billy’s face immediately turned into wild confusion while he simultaneously made his way to comfort the man. “I need you to tell me what the hell has been going on!”
“Billy,” he said the name as though it had been forced out of him. Dom’s arms slid around Billy tightly. “It’s all Orlando’s bloody fault,” he began quietly, his voice increasing in speed and anger. “The wanker told me I couldn’t tell anyone else, but I can’t do it! I can’t fucking do it, and…”
Dom looked around – like a wild animal sparked by a flame – and picked up the first object that came into sight. He took the shotglass that Elijah had bought them with a picture of downtown Wellington on it and wound up his arm. He threw it as hard as he could at the nearest wall. It shattered into dozens of sharp, jagged pieces. Billy’s eyes widened and he shifted in his sitting position to avoid the scattered glass. He absently brushed away at a sharp iceberg of glass that rested beside his thigh while Dom shuddered with every breath.
“I liked that shotglass,” Billy mildly said after an awkward pause.
“I know,” Dom dully replied.
He was about to open his mouth to apologize, but the sheer effort it took seemed to be too much. Instead he collapsed further onto the ground and gave a heavy sigh and a sardonic laugh at the situation. Alarms began to go off in Dom’s mind when Billy’s hand caressed his face and wiped a tear away. Dom gave him a horrified look.
“Billy, please go?” Dom pleaded, not wanting to be seen in the torn condition. Billy gave him a surprised look when he saw that Dom was actually crying. They both knew that Dom cried for little to nothing at all. Dom’s body was still shaking and if he didn’t know any better, Dom would say that he was having a nervous breakdown.
“Dom,” Billy softly said. Finally, when Billy closed his eyes, and when he had Dom’s attention he spoke desperately, “what is going on?”
“Orlando made me promise,” Dom said tiredly.
Billy used his fingers to prop up Dom’s chin, and their eyes locked. They froze momentarily before Billy dropped his fingers, and Dom’s chin dropped with them in the process. Dom was portraying characteristics akin to a rag doll, and he was distantly aware of it.
“I don’t care,” Billy simply said. He kissed Dom’s jaw. “I want you to tell me. He’ll understand.”
“He was supposed to call. He had his appointment the other week and he was supposed to call me and tell me how it went,” Dom said in a small voice.
“And?”
“He didn’t,” Dom said despondently. “He hasn’t.”
They sat in silence, the phone quiet in Dom’s hands as he got himself more comfortable in Billy’s lap. Dom’s breathing pattern slowly became more regular. It signified an incremental shift back to normalcy.
“What was the appointment for?” Billy asked gently. “Dom, please tell me,” he added before giving Dom – who was feeling more and more conflicted as the seconds ticked by – the opportunity to answer. “Tell me,” Billy requested softly again.
“Orlando told me he thought he had cancer,” Dom said huskily, “back at Liv’s birthday.”
Billy frowned in discontent. “That’s…”
“…a long time,” Dom finished the sentence.
“Yeah,” Billy agreed. Dom watched as Billy understood everything too quickly, and it looked to be giving him something akin to brain freeze, except in this case, it was more like knowledge-freeze.
Billy cradled Dom tighter in his arms as the phone rang. The interruption came just as Dom was beginning to feel safe again with the smell of sandalwood from Billy’s shampoo drifting into his nostrils, and the warmth from Billy’s body heating him up. Billy nodded in support as Dom answered.
“Hello?”
The voice on the other end nattered happily as soon as Dom had offered his greeting. Dom felt relief course through him, and watched as Billy went through a similar process soon after. Dom felt as though he could run a mile, or do amazing feats with the simple knowledge that he just found out.
“Orlando, you did?” Dom smiled. “Oh god, you bastard, seriously…”
Dom listened for a moment.
“Okay, yeah…no, we’ll be there as soon as we can. Yes! Both of us will be there,” Dom confirmed before hanging up and turning to Billy with shining, hopeful eyes. There was a long moment of silent tension, like he’d existed under the anxiety for so long that he didn’t know how to live without it. He could feel the beginnings of relief stirring in him along with the promise of change for the better. Once those things registered in his brain, the feeling of relief continued to sweep through him unnervingly quickly. He felt like laughing in giddy relief. “He went,” Dom reported.
“He did,” Billy was grinning madly. Dom got up with Billy’s help, and began to search for the car keys. “Are we going now?”
“He wants to tell us the results with Sean there, too,” Dom announced, and he felt a thrill of success as he discovered the keys underneath a pile of letters. He tossed Billy a coat while simultaneously putting one on. “Let’s roll!”
Orlando hung up the phone and exhaled deeply, checking his watch to see how long it would be before Sean got back from his shoot to meet him. He had left a message on Sean’s cell phone about twenty minutes after getting home from the doctor. Now it was only a matter of waiting.
The door clicked open and drifted into the room, bringing Sean with it. Orlando felt himself brighten, and he made his way over to Sean’s side quickly, taking off Sean’s coat and ushering him to the couch.
“You came,” Orlando said with an exuberant grin plastered on his face.
“Yeah,” Sean nodded, not looking him in the eye.
“Listen, I’ve got great news,” Orlando enthused, but before he could continue, Sean met his eyes and held up one hand. “Wait?” Orlando asked, startled at being tossed out of his giddy pace.
“This is hard for me Orlando,” Sean said heavily. “So, I just need to say it and go. Right?”
“What’s…” Orlando paused, feeling horror creeping over him. It infused his spine with tiny trembles. “What’s going on?” he finished, his mouth dropped open a little and a look of pure bewilderment came over his face. Even though the expression on Sean’s face was filling Orlando with a sense of dread, he decided to press on. “Because I really do have good news!”
“Orlando, I can’t do this,” Sean sighed. “I don’t…Orlando, I don’t know. I mean, look at us. Look at you. You’re sneaking off half the time, and the other half you’re here and you’re ignoring me! Add that up and it’s too much time away. Too much time apart. I…”
“Sean?” Orlando interjected, confused.
“I’m not sure I can do this. The secrecy? I know I can’t deal with that. You’re not bloody talking to me Orlando. And it’s because of that…and it’s…I don’t know. Maybe a break would be best?” Sean continued as though Orlando had never said anything at all.
The words began to blur in Orlando’s ears, taking an underwater quality that distorted the utter truths into horrible sounds.
“Sean?”
“Goodbye, love,” Sean grabbed the bag, and was gone, just like that. Orlando wanted to follow, but he felt too heavy, like someone had stuffed his limbs and muscles with weights. It was almost as though someone had glued his feet to the ground.
Orlando shook his head in disbelief, and closed his eyes as tightly as he could. To his dismay, when he opened them, there was only an empty room filled with terrible, overwhelming silence. He felt numbness creeping over him as he realized that he wasn’t in the midst of a terrible nightmare.
“How…” he tried to formulate words – a question even – and yet nothing came. He was still frozen to the spot when the door was flung open, followed by the entrance of Dom and Billy.
“We’re here,” Dom reported, a little breathless as he collapsed beside Orlando on the couch, while Billy remained standing. Both of them looked to Orlando and when he didn’t speak, Billy sat down on the other side of Orlando. “What’s going on?” Dom said more softly.
Orlando blinked a little, his eyes resting on the front door (which still had yet to fully close) and a part of him was still hoping that Sean would walk back through it, announce ‘you should have seen the look on your face!’ before things returned to normal and Orlando told him the news.
But the door closed instead.
“Sean left,” Orlando whispered, finally finding words.
“What?” Dom and Billy simultaneously voiced. Billy looked like he was going to speak, but a quick furrow of his brow replaced any sound that might have escaped. Dom looked more like someone had thumped him in the back of the head, eyes wide and bright and startled, mouth a perfect “o”. It would’ve been funny under other circumstances. As it was, it just made Orlando sigh. They edged closer to Orlando, shifting as though trying to get a better look at his face to uncover some deep truth as to what exactly was going on.
“He went,” Orlando commented numbly, finally turning to look at Dom in a stilted robotic fashion. Dom winced.
Billy opened his mouth, but closed it quickly. Orlando feared that anything he might say would only make it worse. A quick look in Dom’s direction confirmed Orlando’s thoughts that Dom was holding back words as well, if the conflicted look on face was any indication – not to mention the way he was biting his lip obsessively and avoiding Orlando’s eyes.
“He’s gone,” Orlando murmured as he furrowed his brow, and tried out the words. “Wanted a break. We’ve broken up.” He hated the way it sounded. After an uneasy moment, Dom wrapped an arm around Orlando’s waist, and gave a comforting little squeeze before Orlando let out a drawn out sigh.
“He’s gone,” Orlando said again. He felt just as numb saying it as he did thinking the words.
“Orlando,” Dom murmured, shaking Orlando’s shoulder a little. “Orlando!” He turned and looked at Dom. “Are you okay?” Dom slowly asked. Orlando looked down, and when he finally managed to find the words, he spoke to the carpet.
“I’m healthy,” he choked out bitterly. “The bruise stayed because I’m anemic. I stopped eating red meat. Because of us. Because of him. I was so fucking distracted after his birthday. I usually make an effort to remember, but I just didn’t feel like doing anything, like…” He paused, throat swelling, and he couldn’t tell if it was anger or terror or confusion or sadness, or what the fuck it was, only that it felt like he was choking on it. “And I was going to tell him, but now he’s gone,” he angrily added. “No cancer,” he spat out.
Dom and Billy were frozen in place, and when Orlando looked at them, they looked scared to death. Billy was paling as the seconds passed, and the “o” on Dom’s mouth kept getting bigger.
“And no Sean either,” Orlando finished, slumping further down onto the couch.
tbc
Pairing: Bean/Orlando, Dom/Billy
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Not mine, never happened.
Summary: Orlando's life goes through quite a bit in the course of twelve months.
Notes: So, thanks to
captnobvious and beizy for hand-holding in the early days and to shaenie who completely ripped the first draft of this apart. Many thanks. Couldn't have done it without you. Previous parts can be found here.August 28th
Dom twitched.
He paced around the phone.
When it finally rang, he jumped to pick it up.
“Hello?” he said immediately, his nerves crumbling before him as he sat down on the floor with the phone tightly pressed to his ear. “No, we wouldn’t like paneling for our windows,” he growled with an irritated edge. “No, we’re quite happy with the door, and it’s Monaghan, not managgin,” he snapped before hanging up. He closed his eyes tightly and tried to will away the persistent and nagging voice in his head that told him that Orlando didn’t give a flying fuck about his condition.
Dom caught Billy watching him silently from the doorway. Dom rocked back and forth in the chair, waiting for the phone to ring. Billy didn’t move in the corner of his eye, and the air between them seemed to be breathing Orlando’s name in slow puffs – Dom felt just a little crazier for thinking that though.
“I swear to fucking god Orlando, I’m going to kill you,” Dom muttered quietly, over and over again. When the phone didn’t ring for ten minutes, Billy entered the room, and stood right beside Dom.
“Dom?” Billy spoke softly and Dom jumped at the sound.
“What?” Dom started guiltily. “I was just sitting,” he added with a nervous laugh, smiling. The very act of forcing the muscles in his face upwards strained him and seemed to be threatening to snap.
“Did you want to go out for dinner before we celebrate my birthday?” Billy asked. Dom considered this before shaking his head. “Are you sure?”
“I really don’t have much of an appetite,” he admitted, turning away to wince because he knew that it was yet another thing to add into the pile of ‘Things Making Billy And Dom’s Relationship Tense’.
“Dom!” Billy snapped. Dom turned back to look at him, feeling like a terrified deer in headlights. He crumbled a little – his posture bending forward and his body convulsing. Billy’s face immediately turned into wild confusion while he simultaneously made his way to comfort the man. “I need you to tell me what the hell has been going on!”
“Billy,” he said the name as though it had been forced out of him. Dom’s arms slid around Billy tightly. “It’s all Orlando’s bloody fault,” he began quietly, his voice increasing in speed and anger. “The wanker told me I couldn’t tell anyone else, but I can’t do it! I can’t fucking do it, and…”
Dom looked around – like a wild animal sparked by a flame – and picked up the first object that came into sight. He took the shotglass that Elijah had bought them with a picture of downtown Wellington on it and wound up his arm. He threw it as hard as he could at the nearest wall. It shattered into dozens of sharp, jagged pieces. Billy’s eyes widened and he shifted in his sitting position to avoid the scattered glass. He absently brushed away at a sharp iceberg of glass that rested beside his thigh while Dom shuddered with every breath.
“I liked that shotglass,” Billy mildly said after an awkward pause.
“I know,” Dom dully replied.
He was about to open his mouth to apologize, but the sheer effort it took seemed to be too much. Instead he collapsed further onto the ground and gave a heavy sigh and a sardonic laugh at the situation. Alarms began to go off in Dom’s mind when Billy’s hand caressed his face and wiped a tear away. Dom gave him a horrified look.
“Billy, please go?” Dom pleaded, not wanting to be seen in the torn condition. Billy gave him a surprised look when he saw that Dom was actually crying. They both knew that Dom cried for little to nothing at all. Dom’s body was still shaking and if he didn’t know any better, Dom would say that he was having a nervous breakdown.
“Dom,” Billy softly said. Finally, when Billy closed his eyes, and when he had Dom’s attention he spoke desperately, “what is going on?”
“Orlando made me promise,” Dom said tiredly.
Billy used his fingers to prop up Dom’s chin, and their eyes locked. They froze momentarily before Billy dropped his fingers, and Dom’s chin dropped with them in the process. Dom was portraying characteristics akin to a rag doll, and he was distantly aware of it.
“I don’t care,” Billy simply said. He kissed Dom’s jaw. “I want you to tell me. He’ll understand.”
“He was supposed to call. He had his appointment the other week and he was supposed to call me and tell me how it went,” Dom said in a small voice.
“And?”
“He didn’t,” Dom said despondently. “He hasn’t.”
They sat in silence, the phone quiet in Dom’s hands as he got himself more comfortable in Billy’s lap. Dom’s breathing pattern slowly became more regular. It signified an incremental shift back to normalcy.
“What was the appointment for?” Billy asked gently. “Dom, please tell me,” he added before giving Dom – who was feeling more and more conflicted as the seconds ticked by – the opportunity to answer. “Tell me,” Billy requested softly again.
“Orlando told me he thought he had cancer,” Dom said huskily, “back at Liv’s birthday.”
Billy frowned in discontent. “That’s…”
“…a long time,” Dom finished the sentence.
“Yeah,” Billy agreed. Dom watched as Billy understood everything too quickly, and it looked to be giving him something akin to brain freeze, except in this case, it was more like knowledge-freeze.
Billy cradled Dom tighter in his arms as the phone rang. The interruption came just as Dom was beginning to feel safe again with the smell of sandalwood from Billy’s shampoo drifting into his nostrils, and the warmth from Billy’s body heating him up. Billy nodded in support as Dom answered.
“Hello?”
The voice on the other end nattered happily as soon as Dom had offered his greeting. Dom felt relief course through him, and watched as Billy went through a similar process soon after. Dom felt as though he could run a mile, or do amazing feats with the simple knowledge that he just found out.
“Orlando, you did?” Dom smiled. “Oh god, you bastard, seriously…”
Dom listened for a moment.
“Okay, yeah…no, we’ll be there as soon as we can. Yes! Both of us will be there,” Dom confirmed before hanging up and turning to Billy with shining, hopeful eyes. There was a long moment of silent tension, like he’d existed under the anxiety for so long that he didn’t know how to live without it. He could feel the beginnings of relief stirring in him along with the promise of change for the better. Once those things registered in his brain, the feeling of relief continued to sweep through him unnervingly quickly. He felt like laughing in giddy relief. “He went,” Dom reported.
“He did,” Billy was grinning madly. Dom got up with Billy’s help, and began to search for the car keys. “Are we going now?”
“He wants to tell us the results with Sean there, too,” Dom announced, and he felt a thrill of success as he discovered the keys underneath a pile of letters. He tossed Billy a coat while simultaneously putting one on. “Let’s roll!”
Orlando hung up the phone and exhaled deeply, checking his watch to see how long it would be before Sean got back from his shoot to meet him. He had left a message on Sean’s cell phone about twenty minutes after getting home from the doctor. Now it was only a matter of waiting.
The door clicked open and drifted into the room, bringing Sean with it. Orlando felt himself brighten, and he made his way over to Sean’s side quickly, taking off Sean’s coat and ushering him to the couch.
“You came,” Orlando said with an exuberant grin plastered on his face.
“Yeah,” Sean nodded, not looking him in the eye.
“Listen, I’ve got great news,” Orlando enthused, but before he could continue, Sean met his eyes and held up one hand. “Wait?” Orlando asked, startled at being tossed out of his giddy pace.
“This is hard for me Orlando,” Sean said heavily. “So, I just need to say it and go. Right?”
“What’s…” Orlando paused, feeling horror creeping over him. It infused his spine with tiny trembles. “What’s going on?” he finished, his mouth dropped open a little and a look of pure bewilderment came over his face. Even though the expression on Sean’s face was filling Orlando with a sense of dread, he decided to press on. “Because I really do have good news!”
“Orlando, I can’t do this,” Sean sighed. “I don’t…Orlando, I don’t know. I mean, look at us. Look at you. You’re sneaking off half the time, and the other half you’re here and you’re ignoring me! Add that up and it’s too much time away. Too much time apart. I…”
“Sean?” Orlando interjected, confused.
“I’m not sure I can do this. The secrecy? I know I can’t deal with that. You’re not bloody talking to me Orlando. And it’s because of that…and it’s…I don’t know. Maybe a break would be best?” Sean continued as though Orlando had never said anything at all.
The words began to blur in Orlando’s ears, taking an underwater quality that distorted the utter truths into horrible sounds.
“Sean?”
“Goodbye, love,” Sean grabbed the bag, and was gone, just like that. Orlando wanted to follow, but he felt too heavy, like someone had stuffed his limbs and muscles with weights. It was almost as though someone had glued his feet to the ground.
Orlando shook his head in disbelief, and closed his eyes as tightly as he could. To his dismay, when he opened them, there was only an empty room filled with terrible, overwhelming silence. He felt numbness creeping over him as he realized that he wasn’t in the midst of a terrible nightmare.
“How…” he tried to formulate words – a question even – and yet nothing came. He was still frozen to the spot when the door was flung open, followed by the entrance of Dom and Billy.
“We’re here,” Dom reported, a little breathless as he collapsed beside Orlando on the couch, while Billy remained standing. Both of them looked to Orlando and when he didn’t speak, Billy sat down on the other side of Orlando. “What’s going on?” Dom said more softly.
Orlando blinked a little, his eyes resting on the front door (which still had yet to fully close) and a part of him was still hoping that Sean would walk back through it, announce ‘you should have seen the look on your face!’ before things returned to normal and Orlando told him the news.
But the door closed instead.
“Sean left,” Orlando whispered, finally finding words.
“What?” Dom and Billy simultaneously voiced. Billy looked like he was going to speak, but a quick furrow of his brow replaced any sound that might have escaped. Dom looked more like someone had thumped him in the back of the head, eyes wide and bright and startled, mouth a perfect “o”. It would’ve been funny under other circumstances. As it was, it just made Orlando sigh. They edged closer to Orlando, shifting as though trying to get a better look at his face to uncover some deep truth as to what exactly was going on.
“He went,” Orlando commented numbly, finally turning to look at Dom in a stilted robotic fashion. Dom winced.
Billy opened his mouth, but closed it quickly. Orlando feared that anything he might say would only make it worse. A quick look in Dom’s direction confirmed Orlando’s thoughts that Dom was holding back words as well, if the conflicted look on face was any indication – not to mention the way he was biting his lip obsessively and avoiding Orlando’s eyes.
“He’s gone,” Orlando murmured as he furrowed his brow, and tried out the words. “Wanted a break. We’ve broken up.” He hated the way it sounded. After an uneasy moment, Dom wrapped an arm around Orlando’s waist, and gave a comforting little squeeze before Orlando let out a drawn out sigh.
“He’s gone,” Orlando said again. He felt just as numb saying it as he did thinking the words.
“Orlando,” Dom murmured, shaking Orlando’s shoulder a little. “Orlando!” He turned and looked at Dom. “Are you okay?” Dom slowly asked. Orlando looked down, and when he finally managed to find the words, he spoke to the carpet.
“I’m healthy,” he choked out bitterly. “The bruise stayed because I’m anemic. I stopped eating red meat. Because of us. Because of him. I was so fucking distracted after his birthday. I usually make an effort to remember, but I just didn’t feel like doing anything, like…” He paused, throat swelling, and he couldn’t tell if it was anger or terror or confusion or sadness, or what the fuck it was, only that it felt like he was choking on it. “And I was going to tell him, but now he’s gone,” he angrily added. “No cancer,” he spat out.
Dom and Billy were frozen in place, and when Orlando looked at them, they looked scared to death. Billy was paling as the seconds passed, and the “o” on Dom’s mouth kept getting bigger.
“And no Sean either,” Orlando finished, slumping further down onto the couch.
tbc