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fellowshippers2004-11-09 08:07 am
ex-salwood.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2004-11-09 08:07 am
World Trip - Chapter 37
Title: World Trip 37/39
Author/Email: Salogel (salogel42@hotmail.com)
Pairing: Dom/Elijah
Rating: 15
Summary: Dominic and Elijah arrive in Wellington, New Zealand
WARNING: some angst
Feedback: Yes please
Archive:Hobbit Haven
Disclaimer: None of this happened or will ever happen. It is all made up in my overactive mind.
Note: Any flashbacks are written as they happened, and not necessarily as a point of view.
Previous chapters can be found here.
Thank Yous to: to Jesslotr for my wonderful icon! And Ru for being a fantastic beta!
World Trip
Chapter 37 – Wellington, New Zealand
**
2nd October 2005
I’ve no idea what Elijah will think of me writing in his journal, but it’s something I really need to do.
On these blank pages I can write down my thoughts, and my feelings, and record my absolute determination to get Elijah here, to Wellington, against all the odds.
This past week has been a battle for me, mentally and emotionally, but seeing Elijah’s smile every time I told him that the plans to fly him here were falling into place has been worth it.
Elijah’s doctor was horrified by the mere thought of my plans. He told me he hadn’t battled to save Elijah’s life for it to be thrown away on a whim. ‘A whim…’ those words hurt me... they really cut into me.
But the doctor doesn’t know me… and he definitely doesn’t know us. And I had to fight every step of the way to bring him around to even contemplating such a thing. But in the end he knew he couldn’t stop us from leaving. Elijah was quite capable of signing his own release form, so instead of trying to stop us, the doctor decided to help.
Without him, and without Lynne’s extraordinary efforts we wouldn’t be here now. Between them they organised an air ambulance and medical crew, so I knew that Elijah would be in good hands for the four hour flight to Wellington, but it was still risky… very risky… and Lynne had offered to accompany us, and stay with us once we arrived. I will always be indebted to her, whatever the outcome may be…
Sala has been fantastic. I’ve been on the phone to him daily and with Lynne’s help and a wonderful medical team at Wellington Hospital; they have turned one of Sala’s living rooms into a makeshift ward.
In fact the team here in Wellington have not been able to do enough for us… they took the whole situation out of my hands, told me not to worry, told me that they would take care everything. It seems that they still have a soft spot for us, even after all this time.
I thought that Elijah would be staying in the hospital here, where he would receive care and attention around the clock, but he was adamant that he didn’t want that, and I can see why… I really can.
So here we are…
I did it for you Lighe… I got you safely to New Zealand…
**
“Dom…?”
Dominic looked up from the small writing table. He placed his pen down and closed Elijah’s journal as he accepted a steaming cup of coffee from Sala.
It was late evening and the house was quiet, but for the faint blip of a portable monitor which could be heard through the closed door of the room in which Elijah was sleeping.
Sala had been at the airport to meet them, and he had not been able to hide his shock when he saw Elijah being transferred from the aircraft to the waiting ambulance.
“Fuck… Dom…” he had whispered, and then this big bear of a man hugged Dominic tightly, unable to suppress his tears.
“It’s ok, Sala.” Dominic had tried to reassure him. “Really… it’s ok.” Then Dominic had climbed into the back of the ambulance to join Lynne and Elijah for the short trip to the hospital.
That had been several hours ago, and now they were settled into Sala’s home. The doctor had overseen Elijah’s transfer from the hospital to his room, and after a long briefing with Lynne; he had left Elijah in her capable hands.
Elijah had been tired… more than tired. Dominic and Lynne knew that the flight would be an ordeal, and it had been, leaving Elijah totally wiped out. During the seven days it had taken Dominic to organise the transfer from Townsville to Wellington he had hoped to see an improvement in Elijah’s condition, but there had been very little sign of that. But he hoped now that they were here, Elijah would improve… because this is what Elijah wanted… above all else, he wanted to be here with Dominic at this moment in time.
Dominic and Sala sipped their drinks in silence. To Sala this whole scenario was totally alien… nothing like he had planned… they should be sitting outside on the patio, all of them, eating a barbeque, getting drunk… reliving old times. But instead it was just himself and Dominic sitting inside, saying a nothing, absolutely nothing. None of it felt right.
And Sala knew that come the morning he would have make some last minute alterations to Elijah plans, because the day after tomorrow was when Elijah gave his gift to Dom…
Sala looked up at Dominic, who still had no idea what was going to take place. Dominic looked solemn, and tired… but calm. And that was something Sala had not expected. He had prepared himself to receive a nervous agitated and maybe even aggressive Dominic… someone who was going to be all over the place… pacing… crying… and even shouting. After all Elijah was his lover and his life, and everyone who knew Dominic well, knew the depth of feelings he held for this man. So this calm, quiet person sitting opposite him was something of an enigma, certainly not the Dominic Sala could remember.
They both glanced up at Lynne as she entered the living room.
“How’s he doing?” Sala stood up, more than aware of a tremor in his voice.
Dominic stood up quickly beside him and looked hopefully at Lynne.
“Well… he’s awake…” Lynne replied.
Sala looked at Dominic.
“… and he’s asking for you, Dom.” Lynne rubbed her arms as if she were cold. “But he’s extremely tired…”
Dominic nodded.
“But we expected that…” Lynne put on a more positive tone to her voice. “We knew the flight was going to be tough, and it was…”
Dominic stood there expectantly.
“Go on… go on.” Lynne ushered him towards Elijah’s room. “He’s waiting for you.”
Sala watched Dominic disappear through the door before turning his attention back to Lynne.
“Coffee?” he asked.
“Yes… please, that would be nice, but first I must phone through my evaluations to the hospital.”
“Sure…” Sala indicated to the telephone.
*
Dominic closed the door quietly behind him. “Hi,” he spoke softly as he went to Elijah’s bedside.
Elijah smiled at him.
Dominic sat on the edge of the bed and took Elijah’s hand. He studied Elijah’s features in the dim light of the room. He looked so gaunt, and his skin looked pale, highlighted more so, by the dark frame of hair falling around his face.
“Well, we’re here, Lij.” Dominic whispered as he brushed a lock of hair away from Elijah’s forehead.
“Yes… we are…”
“You did well really, baby… that was a long flight. You just need plenty of sleep now, plenty of rest, ok?”
Elijah nodded.
“And you need to gather your strength for Tuesday.”
“I know…” Elijah attempted to sit up a little more, but couldn’t do so.
“Here, Lij. Let me.” Dominic helped Elijah into a more comfortable position, and kept his face neutral as he noticed how light Elijah’s body had become. There seemed to be nothing of him, it was as if he were wasting away.
“Do you feel like eating yet?” Dominic kept his voice light, hoping for a positive response. He would like nothing more than to see the feeding tube withdrawn from Elijah… all of it withdrawn. Gone! No more oxygen tubes or wires. No more fucking machinery….
Elijah shook his head, and Dominic veiled his disappointment behind a smile, which covered up a gut wrenching feeling of hopelessness.
“It’ll come back…Lij, you’ll see. Your appetite.” He’s never going to eat again.Dominic sat down on the bed once more and held Elijah’s hand.
“I didn’t think it would be like this, Dom?” Elijah’s eyes looked around the room. “I wanted this to be so special…for us…”
“Hey, it will be special.” Dominic raised Elijah’s hand to his mouth and kissed the dry, translucent skin. “Because you’re special.”
“I had it all worked out… everything… but… but…” Elijah closed his eyes.
“Hey… there’s no giving up, Lij. Not now.” Dominic moved closer to Elijah, and ran his fingers down the side of Elijah’s face, using his thumb to wipe away a stray tear.
“I love you…”
Elijah opened his eyes… “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry Dom.” And then he couldn’t help it. He began to quietly sob.
“It’s ok, Lijah… it’s ok.” Dominic gently pulled Elijah into his arms, and fought back his own emotions when he felt Elijah’s arms weakly wrap themselves around him.
“You’re going to be ok, Lij… you’re going to get through these next two days …I’ve never known anyone as strong as you… I know you’re a fighter… and I love you so much baby, I love you so much. Don’t be sorry for anything…”
Elijah held Dominic with what little strength he had, which he knew was beginning to fade by the day. I’ll always love you, Dommie. I’ll always be there for you…
Dominic lowered Elijah down onto the bed, and then lay down beside him, and turned on his side so that he could look at him.
“Do you know what day it is today?” he asked as he interlocked his fingers with Elijah’s.
Elijah shook his head weakly, and then wiped the wetness away from his face.
“It’s an anniversary…”
“No… no it’s not. We missed our anniversary…” Elijah looked mournful. “It was days ago, Dom. Six years… ago since we first met, and… and we missed it.”
“Oh, not that anniversary…” Dominic smiled softly. “This anniversary is far more special than that.”
“It is…?” Elijah’s eyes widened as he tried to think back six years.
“Oh, definitely…” Dominic inched towards Elijah a little more. His fingers danced along the bare flesh of Elijah’s arm. “You see, six years ago today something very profound happened to me. Something that I will never forget, and it’s had a lasting effect on me.”
Elijah blinked hard as he tried to recall what they were doing this time in October, 1999, and then he looked at Dominic and waited for him to continue.
“I had been sword fighting…”
“Sword fighting.” Elijah repeated and couldn’t help but grin a little.
“All day… all of us. Only you, Billy and Sean had received more practise than me. And I ached… fuck did I ache at the end of that day.”
Elijah smiled as he recalled the memory. “Yeah… I remember… you could barely lift your beer bottle to your lips.”
“My shoulders were fucking killing me… and Billy thought it was the funniest thing. He can be a real cunt when he tries.”
Elijah let out a soft giggle.
“And then… and then next thing I know, you are behind me, Lijah… both hands on my shoulders massaging the ache away, and I nearly fucking died.”
“I remember…”
“You have no idea what that did to me, your hands on me like that. I’d already fallen in love with you… that had happened from the very first second I saw you, and you touching me, that simple act… well fuck… I wanted you from then on. God I wanted you so much, Lij.”
Elijah didn’t say anything as he remembered that brief moment of intimacy. They barely knew each other, only being acquainted for a couple of weeks, but he had known that he had wanted to get to know Dominic and that he was being drawn to him for some inexplicable reason.
He could remember laying his hands on Dominic and feeling the taut heat of his muscles through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. He could remember the way Dominic’s head had dropped forward, releasing a gentle sigh as Elijah’s fingers began digging into the sore aching flesh beneath their touch.
Elijah could also remember with great clarity the way his pulse had begun to quicken and the way his mouth had suddenly dried up as his hands moved intimately over Dominic’s body. And he also remembered the way their surroundings seemed to just disappear leaving them as if they were the only the two people in the room, no one else.
Just him and Dominic.
Until the scene was shattered by that Scottish lilt. “I believe it’s your round, Elijah.”
Elijah had pulled away then and Dominic had turned to look at him, their eyes locked on one another.
“Errm… Lij?” Billy broke the spell again.
But both of them knew right there and then what they wanted… and that there would be no going back. But one of them had to make the first move, and by that Christmas, just a few short weeks later, Elijah knew he was going to be the one who had to make it.
“What are you thinking, Lij?” Dominic could see the wistful look on Elijah’s face, as he moved a little closer, rumpling the blankets on the hospital bed.
Elijah looked at Dominic… “You’ve just brought it all back, Dom, that’s all. First time meeting you… first time touching you… first time kissing you…”
“You always knew what you wanted didn’t you, Lij?”
“Yes…”
“I love you…” Dominic cupped Elijah’s chin and titled his face towards him. Then he slowly pressed his lips against Elijah’s mouth and their kiss was soft and gentle.
***
Coughing… retching… and then a calming voice…
Dominic blinked as sleep slipped away, he hadn’t realised just how tired he was. He looked up from the guest bed and saw Lynne leaning over Elijah. The small lamp above Elijah’s bed was on forming a dense pool of light. Dominic glanced at his watch; it was four o’clock in the morning.
He quickly pulled on a pair of sweatpants and went to Lynne’s side.
“Lynne?” he asked as he looked at Lynne and then at his lover. “Lijah?”
Elijah began coughing again, and Lynne held a metal dish under his mouth.
Dominic felt his heart begin to race. “Lynne?” He asked again.
“It’s ok, Dom,” Lynne didn’t take her eyes of Elijah. “I’ll be with you in a moment.”
Dominic nodded as he walked around to the other side of the bed. He took Elijah’s hand, and gasped inwardly when Elijah turned to look at him. His pallor had increased, and his eyes were red-rimmed, and Dominic suddenly became very scared.
“Ok, baby?” Dominic felt a lump rise in his throat as his words barely came out. He smoothed Elijah’s back as he watched him cough and retch again, and he feared that Elijah’s body was just not strong enough to deal with this… this attack of whatever it was.
*
“He has the beginnings of a fever…” Lynne spoke to Dominic after making a call to the doctor. They were both standing in Sala’s kitchen. Sala was busy making coffee for them all.
“What?”
“He may have to be admitted to hospital, Dom, we’ll see what the doctor says, when he returns my call.”
Dominic nodded, understanding that Lynne was right, but knowing it wasn’t what Elijah wanted.
“He won’t want that…” he turned to look out the window; the sky was just beginning to lighten.
Sala looked on helplessly.
“I know… we’ll see.” Lynne accepted the coffee from Sala, and within ten minutes she was talking to Elijah’s doctor and receiving instruction.
*
Elijah had got to know Lynne very well over the past three weeks, and he could read the expression on her face, and he knew it wasn’t good.
The stethoscope was cold against his chest, and Lynne was taking longer than normal to listen, and Elijah already knew that he was finding it harder to breathe.
Lynne wrote down her findings, then she observed the monitors, made notes, and then finally, she sat on the edge of his bed.
“I’m not going to hospital.” Elijah spoke first. He looked across the room at Dominic who had been standing silently nearby. “Tell her, Dom. Tell her I’m staying here. I’m not going… I’m not…”
Dominic swallowed hard. Elijah looked grey; a sheen of sweat was beginning to cover his skin.
“I’m not going…!” Elijah looked at Dominic helplessly, and then began to cough, and Dominic felt like weeping at the hopelessness of it all.
“Dom… please…” Elijah managed to catch his breath. “Don’t let them take me to hospital, not yet… we have… we have tomorrow…”
Dominic breathed in deeply in order to steady his nerves. He could see that Elijah was deteriorating, and he wanted nothing more than to whisk him into hospital immediately… anything… anything to make him better… to save him…
“It’s ok, Lijah. We’re not going to hospital… are we Lynne? Not until after tomorrow.” Dominic strode over to Elijah’s bed and stood by his side. “I promise you, baby… we’ll get to do this thing… tomorrow… We will. We won’t go anywhere until it’s over… I promise you… I promise.”
Elijah nodded, and then closed his eyes.
*
“Pneumonia?” Dominic looked at Lynne.
Lynne nodded. They were sitting on Sala’s patio. The spring sunshine was warm, and the air clear, and they could see right across the bay.
“I’ve started the antibiotics, but he is very weak Dom. When the doctor receives my next report he is going to insist that Elijah be admitted.”
Dominic chewed on his bottom lip. He thought about Elijah sleeping soundly in the room on the other side of the wall. All Elijah wanted to do was to see tomorrow through, that was all. It wasn’t that long to wait was it?
“Can you not say anything?”
“Dom?”
“Your report. Can you not tell the doctor the truth?”
“Dominic!”
“It’s not long is it? Barely 24 hours. We can’t do this to Elijah, Lynne. We didn’t bring him all the way over here to spend his day in hospital.”
“Dom… this is serious.”
“I know… I know…” Dominic stood up and leant one arm against the white stone wall. He looked out at the clear blue water, his heart heavy, but the determination within him strong.
“You’ve probably no idea how much this is hurting me, Lynne. Inside… deep inside. I love Elijah with every ounce of my soul… more even. Much more. And the thought of losing him terrifies the life out of me. But you know, throughout my life I have only ever really thought about one person, and that person has always been me.
I’m a selfish bastard, and even now, I think… yes… let’s get Elijah into hospital. Let’s forget what he wants… let’s forget why we risked everything to bring him here. Let’s just think about me, and my suffering, because if Elijah dies, then as far as I am concerned, my life is forfeit.
But I have never known Elijah to want something so much during the whole time I have been with him, and I want him to have this, whatever it is, even though it means risking his life, because if I deny him his wish, and put him in hospital, and he dies anyway, then I will have to live with the guilt, and I can tell you, Lynne… I wouldn’t be able to live with that for very long.”
Dominic walked down the steps leading to a lush green lawn. Lynne followed him. Dominic glanced over his shoulder at her before continuing.
“I think I have some idea of what Elijah has planned. I’ve always known what his greatest wish is, and if tomorrow… if tomorrow ends up being my last day on Earth with him, Lynne then… well… well then at least I know he’ll die happy.”
Dominic turned to face her, his face set, his expression serious. “I won’t see him denied this, Lynne. I won’t. And I hope, I seriously hope that you can respect that.”
Lynne nodded but said nothing.
“Good…” Dominic then turned and let himself out through the small gate at the rear of the garden. He needed to be by himself… he needed to cry alone.
*
“Ok, Elijah. One, two, three…” Lynne helped Elijah into the waiting wheelchair.
“Ok?” She crouched down in front of him, giving his face a quick check over; looking for any signs of extreme pain.
Elijah nodded. “Yes… thank you.”
Lynne smiled, stood up, and then busied herself attaching the portable oxygen tank to the bracket on the back of the wheelchair. All the monitors and tubes had been disconnected for the short while that Elijah would be outside.
It was late afternoon, and warm, and Elijah grinned at Dominic as Lynne applied the brake after wheeling him onto the patio.
“Half an hour,” she said, and then she disappeared inside.
Elijah looked out over the view, and it was a cherished view. He had spent many months admiring that view when he had lived in Wellington six years ago.
“I hope it stays like this for tomorrow, Dom.” Elijah looked up at Dominic.
“It will…” Dominic crouched beside Elijah and held his hand. It felt hot and sweaty. He bit his tongue, and didn’t comment on it, although when he looked at Elijah’s face he could see droplets of perspiration on his forehead and upper lip.
Fuck…Elijah really needs to be in hospital… now… not fucking tomorrow…
Dominic ignored his inner self. Instead he spoke softly to Elijah.
“So, Lijah. Are you finally going to tell me what it is you’ve planned? This big secret? This big day tomorrow?”
“No…” Elijah laughed gently.
“I think I know what it is…”
Elijah laughed again. “No, you don’t.”
“I think I do… I know you Elijah Wood. I know you!”
Elijah just smiled, and then he looked at the view again. “Remember that bathtub race, Dom?”
“God, yeah.”
“That was fucking awesome!”
“It was fucking nuts. Who goes to sea in a bathtub?”
Elijah laughed, but ended up coughing quite violently, and found it very difficult to catch his breath.
Dominic stood up with the intention of calling Lynne, but Elijah grabbed his hand and pulled him back down.
“No…” he whispered. “I’m ok…”
But he sounded far from ok, his breathing was laboured, and Dominic felt a surge of panic so great he had no idea if he would be able to conceal it.
He glanced up at the kitchen window and saw Sala looking out at them. Dominic had never known Sala to be so quiet, and so unobtrusive. He was just as worried and concerned as all of them. Christ… Dominic really hoped he was doing the right thing.
“Didn’t Billy win?” Elijah’s voice was raspy as he asked Dominic the question. He could see the panic in Dominic’s eyes. No matter how hard he tried not showing it, Elijah knew exactly what Dominic was thinking, and ultimately feeling.
“Lij?” Dominic tried to bring himself back to the present, concentrate on what Elijah was saying.
“The race… we all ended up in the sea.”
“I don’t know… I… I can’t remember…” Dominic could hear a distinct wheeze coming from Elijah’s chest.
“You can remember that night, though, can’t you, Dom?” Elijah frowned a little as he looked into Dominic’s face.
“That night…that night?” Dominic repeated trying to pull himself together... forcing the fear down… keeping the panic at bay. “God, Lijah…” He kissed Elijah’s hand. “I can remember every night with you… every single one…”
And then Dominic wondered if there would be any more nights together. Would he ever take Elijah into his arms again, as lovers… and kiss him passionately, hungrily, filling his body with his own?
Would he ever make love to him again, this man, who meant the world to him? This man, who had turned from an inexperienced, immature and quite excitable lover, to a man of such incredibly intensity that his lovemaking was more than an act of silent devotion - it was reverence.
“Dom?” Elijah looked at Dominic, concern in his eyes. “It’s ok, Dom,” he said softly. “It’s ok…”
Dominic couldn’t reply. He stood up quickly, feeling like a rabbit wanting to bolt… wanting to run and hide away from danger… away from Elijah? No… no… never away from Elijah… just away from the fucking illness that was claiming his life.
“Dom…?” Elijah’s voice cracked a little as he looked up at Dominic’s stricken face.
Dominic placed a hand on Elijah’s shoulder… and then without a word he went inside the house.
Elijah looked out at the view again, tears blurring his vision.
“Dom? Is everything alright?” Lynne asked as she watched Dominic stride into the living room.
“Yes… no… God…” Dominic didn’t look at Lynne as he hurried into Elijah’s room.
“What is it…. is it Elijah?” Lynne called after Dominic as she walked over to the French windows that led to the patio.
The room door closed behind Dominic, and Lynne knew she wasn’t going to get an answer.
Dominic went to the window and looked out at Elijah sitting on his own. This was breaking his heart, literally tearing it in two. Remaining positive for Elijah wasn’t difficult, but remaining positive for himself was so hard. Never did he think he would be in a position like this.
His morbid fear of losing Elijah had been a fear of rejection, of Elijah leaving him, no longer loving him - not this… not Elijah dying…
Suddenly his mobile phone began ringing and it sounded loud, and obtrusive. It had no place in his thoughts right now… or his pain. He looked at it lying on top of his bed, the digital light display flashing. Dominic’s first thought was to ignore it, but he didn’t, and when he picked it up he looked at the name of the caller. He sat down heavily on the bed, and clicked the connect button.
“Debbie…” he said.
*
Sala hovered nearby as Lynne wheeled Elijah inside.
“Sala!” Elijah smiled up at him. “Where’ve you been hiding? You can still talk to me you know. I’m still me, despite all this.”
“Oh God, Elijah, I’m sorry… it’s just all pretty scary, you know?” Sala was never one to mince his words. “Seeing you like this… well… well you know…”
“Yeah… Sala, I know…” Elijah grasped Sala’s meaty hand. “Thanks for everything mate… you’ve been wonderful… I know it hasn’t been easy organising all this…”
“Hey, man… anything for you… little buddy!”
Elijah grinned and Sala’s old nickname for him. “So is it all ready?”
Sala nodded… and then shook his head. “Well… I’ve had to change the venue, Elijah. You won’t make it to the top of Mount Victoria, with all those steps. I spoke to Lynne last night and she wants the ambulance ready, you know, on standby… so when the ceremony’s over, it can take you away… and I think that’s best.”
“You’ve changed it?” Elijah looked worried.
“Not by much. You recall the Byrd Memorial, just below the summit? “
Elijah nodded.
“The ceremony will take place there, Elijah. I’ve cleared it with the authorities; they are going to close it off, so it will only be us there. It’s quite fitting too, you know, being a memorial to a traveller and explorer.”
“Ok, that sounds cool. As long as it’s still taking place on the mountain, Sala, I really don’t care.”
“It is, don’t worry”
Elijah looked over his shoulder as Dominic came and stood behind him.
“It’s your mum, Lij.” He handed Elijah his mobile. “She’s back from her holiday. She’ll be here in two days.”
Elijah nodded and took the phone.
**
3rd October 2005
It’s late, very late, and Elijah, for all his bravery is not doing well, and it’s fucking killing me.
Lynne is with him now, trying to calm him down. He’s been coughing for hours. She is trying to settle his symptoms… he needs to be in hospital, I know that, and Lynne knows that… and God knows, I know how much she is being torn apart by the ethics of it all.
Elijah has had to go back on the positive pressure oxygen… and he’s upset about that, he hates that mask… but Lynne insisted… she told him if he refused to co-operate then she would admit him to hospital.
So of course Elijah had to co-operate, and Lynne told me that she doesn’t think he will make it through tomorrow on just the supplementary oxygen.
Fuck… all I want is for my Lighe to be well again. To be full of youthful energy and eager enthusiasm… I just want us to be able to laugh again, together, to be able to hold one another… I miss not holding him… and sleeping with him… and making love to him…
Elijah is the centre of my life, and always will be; I don’t think I will be able to go on without him.
I’m going to go and lie down with him now… this last night…
I love you, Elijah.
**
Elijah was awake, and pulled the mask away from his face when Dominic entered the room.
“Room for me?” Dominic asked.
“Always…” Elijah smiled at him.
Dominic climbed on the bed and got under the covers. He wrapped his arms gently around Elijah being careful not to dislodge any wires or tubes.
“Love you, Elijah.” Dominic pressed his face into the side of Elijah’s neck, feeling the hot dampness of his skin against his lips.
“Dom…” Elijah turned slightly to face Dominic, pulling the hated mask away from his face. “I know you’re scared…” His voice was little more than a whisper. “But I’m not scared, Dommie… I’m not scared at all, because tomorrow I get to give you my gift… and that means more to me than anything… I hope you can understand that?”
Dominic nodded as he looked into Elijah’s ashen face. His eyes seemed larger than normal, a deep blue set in a mask of paleness.
“This past year… has been incredible, you know… Dom… Our journey… it’s been one of discovery… hasn’t it? In more ways than one.”
Dominic didn’t reply…he could see that Elijah wanted to speak, which he did, in-between taking breaths from the mask.
“I’ve never been one to show my emotions…”
Dominic went to protest, but Elijah stilled his mouth with his fingers.
“I’m the way I am… and I don’t think I’ll ever change… but I want you to know… I want you to know that I love you, Dominic Monaghan… and I always will… never a day goes by… not one… when I don’t thank God that you were cast as Merry!”
Dominic laughed gently.
“You know I’ve planned something for us tomorrow. And it’s something that I hope will show you… show you just how much I do love you, Dom.” Elijah had to stop for a while as a wave of dizziness swept over him. He replaced the mask and breathed in deeply for a few minutes
Dominic waited patiently for Elijah to continue, and stroked Elijah’s tangled hair as he did so, letting his fingers twirl through the long dark locks.
“Tomorrow… tomorrow…” Elijah replaced the mask again, his chest heaved as he tried to draw in oxygen.
“Take your time, baby.” Dominic kissed Elijah’s forehead, and couldn’t help but glance up at the monitors, wishing he could read them, wishing he knew just what was going on.
“Tomorrow… …” Elijah coughed… but he couldn’t speak… and his eyes filled up with tears of frustration.
“We’re getting married, aren’t we, Elijah?” Dominic’s fingers trailed down the side of Elijah’s face. “Tomorrow? We’re getting married, tomorrow?”
Elijah closed his eyes and shook his head. “No…” his voice was a whisper.
“No?” Dominic was genuinely shocked. “But I thought that was what you had always wanted, Elijah. To marry me…?” Dominic took hold of Elijah’s hand and held it tightly, not quite understanding.
It was a minute or two before Elijah could answer. He pulled his mask away, and looked at Dominic with compassion. “You never wanted that, Dom. Despite saying it to me once, I know you’ve never wanted it.”
Dominic swallowed hard, if felt as if he had received a full body blow, and a feeling of guilt suddenly overwhelmed him. “Oh God, Elijah…” He pulled Elijah to him, and couldn’t help but sob loudly.
“It’s ok, Dom… it’s ok… really it is… Don’t be sad, baby…” Elijah held Dominic, and waited for him to calm down, and when he eventually did, he continued. “And yes, tomorrow is a ceremony, … but it’s a ceremony of my love for you.” Elijah paused.
“Will you come?”
“Oh… Lijah…” Dominic lifted his head and wiped away his eyes. “Of course, baby. Of course… I love you so much.”
Elijah smiled as he closed his eyes again. They didn’t say anything else, and gradually Elijah’s breathing began to slow down a little as he began to fall asleep.
Dominic remained awake. His eyes felt scratchy and sore and his heart felt heavy and bereft. He continued stroking Elijah’s hair, his face, his bare arms - just gentle caresses over his exhausted body. And as he did so Dominic recalled reading Elijah’s journal entry documenting his drunken night, in August. He knew he couldn’t remember asking Elijah to marry him, but God, right now… right now, this very second… he knew that there was nothing more he wanted than to marry Elijah.
He had never seen it, in the past… Elijah’s desire to marry. It was something that he had always brushed off, and even made fun of. But now… now that it was probably too late, he knew that marrying Elijah was everything he did want.
“I’m so sorry, Elijah… I’m so sorry…” Dominic felt tears prick the corners of his eyes as he looked at Elijah’s sleeping face. “Marry me, baby?” He whispered. “Marry me…?” Then he laid his head down beside Elijah’s and let the tears come once more.
The bedroom door opened slowly, and Dominic looked over Elijah’s sleeping body. He saw Sala peek his head through the doorway.
“Sala?” Dominic carefully sat up, in order not to disturb Elijah. He wiped his face dry. He felt totally exhausted.
“Umm… Dom…” Sala padded barefoot a little way into the room.
Dominic looked at his watch as he slipped out of the bed. It was three o’clock in the morning.
“What is it?”
“There’s someone at the front door asking for you. Some woman.”
“Woman?” Dominic’s heart skipped a beat. It couldn’t be, could it?
“She sounds foreign.”
My God…She made it! Dominic pushed past Sala and quickly ran his fingers through his unruly hair, in a feeble attempt to smarten up. The front door had been left ajar and as he opened it further, he felt himself begin to shake in anticipation.
Danae smiled at him. She looked tired and rumpled, after her long flight. She picked up her suitcase, and once in the hallway, she dropped it and took Dominic into her arms.
tbc
Author/Email: Salogel (salogel42@hotmail.com)
Pairing: Dom/Elijah
Rating: 15
Summary: Dominic and Elijah arrive in Wellington, New Zealand
WARNING: some angst
Feedback: Yes please
Archive:Hobbit Haven
Disclaimer: None of this happened or will ever happen. It is all made up in my overactive mind.
Note: Any flashbacks are written as they happened, and not necessarily as a point of view.
Previous chapters can be found here.
Thank Yous to: to Jesslotr for my wonderful icon! And Ru for being a fantastic beta!
World Trip
Chapter 37 – Wellington, New Zealand
**
2nd October 2005
I’ve no idea what Elijah will think of me writing in his journal, but it’s something I really need to do.
On these blank pages I can write down my thoughts, and my feelings, and record my absolute determination to get Elijah here, to Wellington, against all the odds.
This past week has been a battle for me, mentally and emotionally, but seeing Elijah’s smile every time I told him that the plans to fly him here were falling into place has been worth it.
Elijah’s doctor was horrified by the mere thought of my plans. He told me he hadn’t battled to save Elijah’s life for it to be thrown away on a whim. ‘A whim…’ those words hurt me... they really cut into me.
But the doctor doesn’t know me… and he definitely doesn’t know us. And I had to fight every step of the way to bring him around to even contemplating such a thing. But in the end he knew he couldn’t stop us from leaving. Elijah was quite capable of signing his own release form, so instead of trying to stop us, the doctor decided to help.
Without him, and without Lynne’s extraordinary efforts we wouldn’t be here now. Between them they organised an air ambulance and medical crew, so I knew that Elijah would be in good hands for the four hour flight to Wellington, but it was still risky… very risky… and Lynne had offered to accompany us, and stay with us once we arrived. I will always be indebted to her, whatever the outcome may be…
Sala has been fantastic. I’ve been on the phone to him daily and with Lynne’s help and a wonderful medical team at Wellington Hospital; they have turned one of Sala’s living rooms into a makeshift ward.
In fact the team here in Wellington have not been able to do enough for us… they took the whole situation out of my hands, told me not to worry, told me that they would take care everything. It seems that they still have a soft spot for us, even after all this time.
I thought that Elijah would be staying in the hospital here, where he would receive care and attention around the clock, but he was adamant that he didn’t want that, and I can see why… I really can.
So here we are…
I did it for you Lighe… I got you safely to New Zealand…
**
“Dom…?”
Dominic looked up from the small writing table. He placed his pen down and closed Elijah’s journal as he accepted a steaming cup of coffee from Sala.
It was late evening and the house was quiet, but for the faint blip of a portable monitor which could be heard through the closed door of the room in which Elijah was sleeping.
Sala had been at the airport to meet them, and he had not been able to hide his shock when he saw Elijah being transferred from the aircraft to the waiting ambulance.
“Fuck… Dom…” he had whispered, and then this big bear of a man hugged Dominic tightly, unable to suppress his tears.
“It’s ok, Sala.” Dominic had tried to reassure him. “Really… it’s ok.” Then Dominic had climbed into the back of the ambulance to join Lynne and Elijah for the short trip to the hospital.
That had been several hours ago, and now they were settled into Sala’s home. The doctor had overseen Elijah’s transfer from the hospital to his room, and after a long briefing with Lynne; he had left Elijah in her capable hands.
Elijah had been tired… more than tired. Dominic and Lynne knew that the flight would be an ordeal, and it had been, leaving Elijah totally wiped out. During the seven days it had taken Dominic to organise the transfer from Townsville to Wellington he had hoped to see an improvement in Elijah’s condition, but there had been very little sign of that. But he hoped now that they were here, Elijah would improve… because this is what Elijah wanted… above all else, he wanted to be here with Dominic at this moment in time.
Dominic and Sala sipped their drinks in silence. To Sala this whole scenario was totally alien… nothing like he had planned… they should be sitting outside on the patio, all of them, eating a barbeque, getting drunk… reliving old times. But instead it was just himself and Dominic sitting inside, saying a nothing, absolutely nothing. None of it felt right.
And Sala knew that come the morning he would have make some last minute alterations to Elijah plans, because the day after tomorrow was when Elijah gave his gift to Dom…
Sala looked up at Dominic, who still had no idea what was going to take place. Dominic looked solemn, and tired… but calm. And that was something Sala had not expected. He had prepared himself to receive a nervous agitated and maybe even aggressive Dominic… someone who was going to be all over the place… pacing… crying… and even shouting. After all Elijah was his lover and his life, and everyone who knew Dominic well, knew the depth of feelings he held for this man. So this calm, quiet person sitting opposite him was something of an enigma, certainly not the Dominic Sala could remember.
They both glanced up at Lynne as she entered the living room.
“How’s he doing?” Sala stood up, more than aware of a tremor in his voice.
Dominic stood up quickly beside him and looked hopefully at Lynne.
“Well… he’s awake…” Lynne replied.
Sala looked at Dominic.
“… and he’s asking for you, Dom.” Lynne rubbed her arms as if she were cold. “But he’s extremely tired…”
Dominic nodded.
“But we expected that…” Lynne put on a more positive tone to her voice. “We knew the flight was going to be tough, and it was…”
Dominic stood there expectantly.
“Go on… go on.” Lynne ushered him towards Elijah’s room. “He’s waiting for you.”
Sala watched Dominic disappear through the door before turning his attention back to Lynne.
“Coffee?” he asked.
“Yes… please, that would be nice, but first I must phone through my evaluations to the hospital.”
“Sure…” Sala indicated to the telephone.
*
Dominic closed the door quietly behind him. “Hi,” he spoke softly as he went to Elijah’s bedside.
Elijah smiled at him.
Dominic sat on the edge of the bed and took Elijah’s hand. He studied Elijah’s features in the dim light of the room. He looked so gaunt, and his skin looked pale, highlighted more so, by the dark frame of hair falling around his face.
“Well, we’re here, Lij.” Dominic whispered as he brushed a lock of hair away from Elijah’s forehead.
“Yes… we are…”
“You did well really, baby… that was a long flight. You just need plenty of sleep now, plenty of rest, ok?”
Elijah nodded.
“And you need to gather your strength for Tuesday.”
“I know…” Elijah attempted to sit up a little more, but couldn’t do so.
“Here, Lij. Let me.” Dominic helped Elijah into a more comfortable position, and kept his face neutral as he noticed how light Elijah’s body had become. There seemed to be nothing of him, it was as if he were wasting away.
“Do you feel like eating yet?” Dominic kept his voice light, hoping for a positive response. He would like nothing more than to see the feeding tube withdrawn from Elijah… all of it withdrawn. Gone! No more oxygen tubes or wires. No more fucking machinery….
Elijah shook his head, and Dominic veiled his disappointment behind a smile, which covered up a gut wrenching feeling of hopelessness.
“It’ll come back…Lij, you’ll see. Your appetite.” He’s never going to eat again.Dominic sat down on the bed once more and held Elijah’s hand.
“I didn’t think it would be like this, Dom?” Elijah’s eyes looked around the room. “I wanted this to be so special…for us…”
“Hey, it will be special.” Dominic raised Elijah’s hand to his mouth and kissed the dry, translucent skin. “Because you’re special.”
“I had it all worked out… everything… but… but…” Elijah closed his eyes.
“Hey… there’s no giving up, Lij. Not now.” Dominic moved closer to Elijah, and ran his fingers down the side of Elijah’s face, using his thumb to wipe away a stray tear.
“I love you…”
Elijah opened his eyes… “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry Dom.” And then he couldn’t help it. He began to quietly sob.
“It’s ok, Lijah… it’s ok.” Dominic gently pulled Elijah into his arms, and fought back his own emotions when he felt Elijah’s arms weakly wrap themselves around him.
“You’re going to be ok, Lij… you’re going to get through these next two days …I’ve never known anyone as strong as you… I know you’re a fighter… and I love you so much baby, I love you so much. Don’t be sorry for anything…”
Elijah held Dominic with what little strength he had, which he knew was beginning to fade by the day. I’ll always love you, Dommie. I’ll always be there for you…
Dominic lowered Elijah down onto the bed, and then lay down beside him, and turned on his side so that he could look at him.
“Do you know what day it is today?” he asked as he interlocked his fingers with Elijah’s.
Elijah shook his head weakly, and then wiped the wetness away from his face.
“It’s an anniversary…”
“No… no it’s not. We missed our anniversary…” Elijah looked mournful. “It was days ago, Dom. Six years… ago since we first met, and… and we missed it.”
“Oh, not that anniversary…” Dominic smiled softly. “This anniversary is far more special than that.”
“It is…?” Elijah’s eyes widened as he tried to think back six years.
“Oh, definitely…” Dominic inched towards Elijah a little more. His fingers danced along the bare flesh of Elijah’s arm. “You see, six years ago today something very profound happened to me. Something that I will never forget, and it’s had a lasting effect on me.”
Elijah blinked hard as he tried to recall what they were doing this time in October, 1999, and then he looked at Dominic and waited for him to continue.
“I had been sword fighting…”
“Sword fighting.” Elijah repeated and couldn’t help but grin a little.
“All day… all of us. Only you, Billy and Sean had received more practise than me. And I ached… fuck did I ache at the end of that day.”
Elijah smiled as he recalled the memory. “Yeah… I remember… you could barely lift your beer bottle to your lips.”
“My shoulders were fucking killing me… and Billy thought it was the funniest thing. He can be a real cunt when he tries.”
Elijah let out a soft giggle.
“And then… and then next thing I know, you are behind me, Lijah… both hands on my shoulders massaging the ache away, and I nearly fucking died.”
“I remember…”
“You have no idea what that did to me, your hands on me like that. I’d already fallen in love with you… that had happened from the very first second I saw you, and you touching me, that simple act… well fuck… I wanted you from then on. God I wanted you so much, Lij.”
Elijah didn’t say anything as he remembered that brief moment of intimacy. They barely knew each other, only being acquainted for a couple of weeks, but he had known that he had wanted to get to know Dominic and that he was being drawn to him for some inexplicable reason.
He could remember laying his hands on Dominic and feeling the taut heat of his muscles through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. He could remember the way Dominic’s head had dropped forward, releasing a gentle sigh as Elijah’s fingers began digging into the sore aching flesh beneath their touch.
Elijah could also remember with great clarity the way his pulse had begun to quicken and the way his mouth had suddenly dried up as his hands moved intimately over Dominic’s body. And he also remembered the way their surroundings seemed to just disappear leaving them as if they were the only the two people in the room, no one else.
Just him and Dominic.
Until the scene was shattered by that Scottish lilt. “I believe it’s your round, Elijah.”
Elijah had pulled away then and Dominic had turned to look at him, their eyes locked on one another.
“Errm… Lij?” Billy broke the spell again.
But both of them knew right there and then what they wanted… and that there would be no going back. But one of them had to make the first move, and by that Christmas, just a few short weeks later, Elijah knew he was going to be the one who had to make it.
“What are you thinking, Lij?” Dominic could see the wistful look on Elijah’s face, as he moved a little closer, rumpling the blankets on the hospital bed.
Elijah looked at Dominic… “You’ve just brought it all back, Dom, that’s all. First time meeting you… first time touching you… first time kissing you…”
“You always knew what you wanted didn’t you, Lij?”
“Yes…”
“I love you…” Dominic cupped Elijah’s chin and titled his face towards him. Then he slowly pressed his lips against Elijah’s mouth and their kiss was soft and gentle.
***
Coughing… retching… and then a calming voice…
Dominic blinked as sleep slipped away, he hadn’t realised just how tired he was. He looked up from the guest bed and saw Lynne leaning over Elijah. The small lamp above Elijah’s bed was on forming a dense pool of light. Dominic glanced at his watch; it was four o’clock in the morning.
He quickly pulled on a pair of sweatpants and went to Lynne’s side.
“Lynne?” he asked as he looked at Lynne and then at his lover. “Lijah?”
Elijah began coughing again, and Lynne held a metal dish under his mouth.
Dominic felt his heart begin to race. “Lynne?” He asked again.
“It’s ok, Dom,” Lynne didn’t take her eyes of Elijah. “I’ll be with you in a moment.”
Dominic nodded as he walked around to the other side of the bed. He took Elijah’s hand, and gasped inwardly when Elijah turned to look at him. His pallor had increased, and his eyes were red-rimmed, and Dominic suddenly became very scared.
“Ok, baby?” Dominic felt a lump rise in his throat as his words barely came out. He smoothed Elijah’s back as he watched him cough and retch again, and he feared that Elijah’s body was just not strong enough to deal with this… this attack of whatever it was.
*
“He has the beginnings of a fever…” Lynne spoke to Dominic after making a call to the doctor. They were both standing in Sala’s kitchen. Sala was busy making coffee for them all.
“What?”
“He may have to be admitted to hospital, Dom, we’ll see what the doctor says, when he returns my call.”
Dominic nodded, understanding that Lynne was right, but knowing it wasn’t what Elijah wanted.
“He won’t want that…” he turned to look out the window; the sky was just beginning to lighten.
Sala looked on helplessly.
“I know… we’ll see.” Lynne accepted the coffee from Sala, and within ten minutes she was talking to Elijah’s doctor and receiving instruction.
*
Elijah had got to know Lynne very well over the past three weeks, and he could read the expression on her face, and he knew it wasn’t good.
The stethoscope was cold against his chest, and Lynne was taking longer than normal to listen, and Elijah already knew that he was finding it harder to breathe.
Lynne wrote down her findings, then she observed the monitors, made notes, and then finally, she sat on the edge of his bed.
“I’m not going to hospital.” Elijah spoke first. He looked across the room at Dominic who had been standing silently nearby. “Tell her, Dom. Tell her I’m staying here. I’m not going… I’m not…”
Dominic swallowed hard. Elijah looked grey; a sheen of sweat was beginning to cover his skin.
“I’m not going…!” Elijah looked at Dominic helplessly, and then began to cough, and Dominic felt like weeping at the hopelessness of it all.
“Dom… please…” Elijah managed to catch his breath. “Don’t let them take me to hospital, not yet… we have… we have tomorrow…”
Dominic breathed in deeply in order to steady his nerves. He could see that Elijah was deteriorating, and he wanted nothing more than to whisk him into hospital immediately… anything… anything to make him better… to save him…
“It’s ok, Lijah. We’re not going to hospital… are we Lynne? Not until after tomorrow.” Dominic strode over to Elijah’s bed and stood by his side. “I promise you, baby… we’ll get to do this thing… tomorrow… We will. We won’t go anywhere until it’s over… I promise you… I promise.”
Elijah nodded, and then closed his eyes.
*
“Pneumonia?” Dominic looked at Lynne.
Lynne nodded. They were sitting on Sala’s patio. The spring sunshine was warm, and the air clear, and they could see right across the bay.
“I’ve started the antibiotics, but he is very weak Dom. When the doctor receives my next report he is going to insist that Elijah be admitted.”
Dominic chewed on his bottom lip. He thought about Elijah sleeping soundly in the room on the other side of the wall. All Elijah wanted to do was to see tomorrow through, that was all. It wasn’t that long to wait was it?
“Can you not say anything?”
“Dom?”
“Your report. Can you not tell the doctor the truth?”
“Dominic!”
“It’s not long is it? Barely 24 hours. We can’t do this to Elijah, Lynne. We didn’t bring him all the way over here to spend his day in hospital.”
“Dom… this is serious.”
“I know… I know…” Dominic stood up and leant one arm against the white stone wall. He looked out at the clear blue water, his heart heavy, but the determination within him strong.
“You’ve probably no idea how much this is hurting me, Lynne. Inside… deep inside. I love Elijah with every ounce of my soul… more even. Much more. And the thought of losing him terrifies the life out of me. But you know, throughout my life I have only ever really thought about one person, and that person has always been me.
I’m a selfish bastard, and even now, I think… yes… let’s get Elijah into hospital. Let’s forget what he wants… let’s forget why we risked everything to bring him here. Let’s just think about me, and my suffering, because if Elijah dies, then as far as I am concerned, my life is forfeit.
But I have never known Elijah to want something so much during the whole time I have been with him, and I want him to have this, whatever it is, even though it means risking his life, because if I deny him his wish, and put him in hospital, and he dies anyway, then I will have to live with the guilt, and I can tell you, Lynne… I wouldn’t be able to live with that for very long.”
Dominic walked down the steps leading to a lush green lawn. Lynne followed him. Dominic glanced over his shoulder at her before continuing.
“I think I have some idea of what Elijah has planned. I’ve always known what his greatest wish is, and if tomorrow… if tomorrow ends up being my last day on Earth with him, Lynne then… well… well then at least I know he’ll die happy.”
Dominic turned to face her, his face set, his expression serious. “I won’t see him denied this, Lynne. I won’t. And I hope, I seriously hope that you can respect that.”
Lynne nodded but said nothing.
“Good…” Dominic then turned and let himself out through the small gate at the rear of the garden. He needed to be by himself… he needed to cry alone.
*
“Ok, Elijah. One, two, three…” Lynne helped Elijah into the waiting wheelchair.
“Ok?” She crouched down in front of him, giving his face a quick check over; looking for any signs of extreme pain.
Elijah nodded. “Yes… thank you.”
Lynne smiled, stood up, and then busied herself attaching the portable oxygen tank to the bracket on the back of the wheelchair. All the monitors and tubes had been disconnected for the short while that Elijah would be outside.
It was late afternoon, and warm, and Elijah grinned at Dominic as Lynne applied the brake after wheeling him onto the patio.
“Half an hour,” she said, and then she disappeared inside.
Elijah looked out over the view, and it was a cherished view. He had spent many months admiring that view when he had lived in Wellington six years ago.
“I hope it stays like this for tomorrow, Dom.” Elijah looked up at Dominic.
“It will…” Dominic crouched beside Elijah and held his hand. It felt hot and sweaty. He bit his tongue, and didn’t comment on it, although when he looked at Elijah’s face he could see droplets of perspiration on his forehead and upper lip.
Fuck…Elijah really needs to be in hospital… now… not fucking tomorrow…
Dominic ignored his inner self. Instead he spoke softly to Elijah.
“So, Lijah. Are you finally going to tell me what it is you’ve planned? This big secret? This big day tomorrow?”
“No…” Elijah laughed gently.
“I think I know what it is…”
Elijah laughed again. “No, you don’t.”
“I think I do… I know you Elijah Wood. I know you!”
Elijah just smiled, and then he looked at the view again. “Remember that bathtub race, Dom?”
“God, yeah.”
“That was fucking awesome!”
“It was fucking nuts. Who goes to sea in a bathtub?”
Elijah laughed, but ended up coughing quite violently, and found it very difficult to catch his breath.
Dominic stood up with the intention of calling Lynne, but Elijah grabbed his hand and pulled him back down.
“No…” he whispered. “I’m ok…”
But he sounded far from ok, his breathing was laboured, and Dominic felt a surge of panic so great he had no idea if he would be able to conceal it.
He glanced up at the kitchen window and saw Sala looking out at them. Dominic had never known Sala to be so quiet, and so unobtrusive. He was just as worried and concerned as all of them. Christ… Dominic really hoped he was doing the right thing.
“Didn’t Billy win?” Elijah’s voice was raspy as he asked Dominic the question. He could see the panic in Dominic’s eyes. No matter how hard he tried not showing it, Elijah knew exactly what Dominic was thinking, and ultimately feeling.
“Lij?” Dominic tried to bring himself back to the present, concentrate on what Elijah was saying.
“The race… we all ended up in the sea.”
“I don’t know… I… I can’t remember…” Dominic could hear a distinct wheeze coming from Elijah’s chest.
“You can remember that night, though, can’t you, Dom?” Elijah frowned a little as he looked into Dominic’s face.
“That night…that night?” Dominic repeated trying to pull himself together... forcing the fear down… keeping the panic at bay. “God, Lijah…” He kissed Elijah’s hand. “I can remember every night with you… every single one…”
And then Dominic wondered if there would be any more nights together. Would he ever take Elijah into his arms again, as lovers… and kiss him passionately, hungrily, filling his body with his own?
Would he ever make love to him again, this man, who meant the world to him? This man, who had turned from an inexperienced, immature and quite excitable lover, to a man of such incredibly intensity that his lovemaking was more than an act of silent devotion - it was reverence.
“Dom?” Elijah looked at Dominic, concern in his eyes. “It’s ok, Dom,” he said softly. “It’s ok…”
Dominic couldn’t reply. He stood up quickly, feeling like a rabbit wanting to bolt… wanting to run and hide away from danger… away from Elijah? No… no… never away from Elijah… just away from the fucking illness that was claiming his life.
“Dom…?” Elijah’s voice cracked a little as he looked up at Dominic’s stricken face.
Dominic placed a hand on Elijah’s shoulder… and then without a word he went inside the house.
Elijah looked out at the view again, tears blurring his vision.
“Dom? Is everything alright?” Lynne asked as she watched Dominic stride into the living room.
“Yes… no… God…” Dominic didn’t look at Lynne as he hurried into Elijah’s room.
“What is it…. is it Elijah?” Lynne called after Dominic as she walked over to the French windows that led to the patio.
The room door closed behind Dominic, and Lynne knew she wasn’t going to get an answer.
Dominic went to the window and looked out at Elijah sitting on his own. This was breaking his heart, literally tearing it in two. Remaining positive for Elijah wasn’t difficult, but remaining positive for himself was so hard. Never did he think he would be in a position like this.
His morbid fear of losing Elijah had been a fear of rejection, of Elijah leaving him, no longer loving him - not this… not Elijah dying…
Suddenly his mobile phone began ringing and it sounded loud, and obtrusive. It had no place in his thoughts right now… or his pain. He looked at it lying on top of his bed, the digital light display flashing. Dominic’s first thought was to ignore it, but he didn’t, and when he picked it up he looked at the name of the caller. He sat down heavily on the bed, and clicked the connect button.
“Debbie…” he said.
*
Sala hovered nearby as Lynne wheeled Elijah inside.
“Sala!” Elijah smiled up at him. “Where’ve you been hiding? You can still talk to me you know. I’m still me, despite all this.”
“Oh God, Elijah, I’m sorry… it’s just all pretty scary, you know?” Sala was never one to mince his words. “Seeing you like this… well… well you know…”
“Yeah… Sala, I know…” Elijah grasped Sala’s meaty hand. “Thanks for everything mate… you’ve been wonderful… I know it hasn’t been easy organising all this…”
“Hey, man… anything for you… little buddy!”
Elijah grinned and Sala’s old nickname for him. “So is it all ready?”
Sala nodded… and then shook his head. “Well… I’ve had to change the venue, Elijah. You won’t make it to the top of Mount Victoria, with all those steps. I spoke to Lynne last night and she wants the ambulance ready, you know, on standby… so when the ceremony’s over, it can take you away… and I think that’s best.”
“You’ve changed it?” Elijah looked worried.
“Not by much. You recall the Byrd Memorial, just below the summit? “
Elijah nodded.
“The ceremony will take place there, Elijah. I’ve cleared it with the authorities; they are going to close it off, so it will only be us there. It’s quite fitting too, you know, being a memorial to a traveller and explorer.”
“Ok, that sounds cool. As long as it’s still taking place on the mountain, Sala, I really don’t care.”
“It is, don’t worry”
Elijah looked over his shoulder as Dominic came and stood behind him.
“It’s your mum, Lij.” He handed Elijah his mobile. “She’s back from her holiday. She’ll be here in two days.”
Elijah nodded and took the phone.
**
3rd October 2005
It’s late, very late, and Elijah, for all his bravery is not doing well, and it’s fucking killing me.
Lynne is with him now, trying to calm him down. He’s been coughing for hours. She is trying to settle his symptoms… he needs to be in hospital, I know that, and Lynne knows that… and God knows, I know how much she is being torn apart by the ethics of it all.
Elijah has had to go back on the positive pressure oxygen… and he’s upset about that, he hates that mask… but Lynne insisted… she told him if he refused to co-operate then she would admit him to hospital.
So of course Elijah had to co-operate, and Lynne told me that she doesn’t think he will make it through tomorrow on just the supplementary oxygen.
Fuck… all I want is for my Lighe to be well again. To be full of youthful energy and eager enthusiasm… I just want us to be able to laugh again, together, to be able to hold one another… I miss not holding him… and sleeping with him… and making love to him…
Elijah is the centre of my life, and always will be; I don’t think I will be able to go on without him.
I’m going to go and lie down with him now… this last night…
I love you, Elijah.
**
Elijah was awake, and pulled the mask away from his face when Dominic entered the room.
“Room for me?” Dominic asked.
“Always…” Elijah smiled at him.
Dominic climbed on the bed and got under the covers. He wrapped his arms gently around Elijah being careful not to dislodge any wires or tubes.
“Love you, Elijah.” Dominic pressed his face into the side of Elijah’s neck, feeling the hot dampness of his skin against his lips.
“Dom…” Elijah turned slightly to face Dominic, pulling the hated mask away from his face. “I know you’re scared…” His voice was little more than a whisper. “But I’m not scared, Dommie… I’m not scared at all, because tomorrow I get to give you my gift… and that means more to me than anything… I hope you can understand that?”
Dominic nodded as he looked into Elijah’s ashen face. His eyes seemed larger than normal, a deep blue set in a mask of paleness.
“This past year… has been incredible, you know… Dom… Our journey… it’s been one of discovery… hasn’t it? In more ways than one.”
Dominic didn’t reply…he could see that Elijah wanted to speak, which he did, in-between taking breaths from the mask.
“I’ve never been one to show my emotions…”
Dominic went to protest, but Elijah stilled his mouth with his fingers.
“I’m the way I am… and I don’t think I’ll ever change… but I want you to know… I want you to know that I love you, Dominic Monaghan… and I always will… never a day goes by… not one… when I don’t thank God that you were cast as Merry!”
Dominic laughed gently.
“You know I’ve planned something for us tomorrow. And it’s something that I hope will show you… show you just how much I do love you, Dom.” Elijah had to stop for a while as a wave of dizziness swept over him. He replaced the mask and breathed in deeply for a few minutes
Dominic waited patiently for Elijah to continue, and stroked Elijah’s tangled hair as he did so, letting his fingers twirl through the long dark locks.
“Tomorrow… tomorrow…” Elijah replaced the mask again, his chest heaved as he tried to draw in oxygen.
“Take your time, baby.” Dominic kissed Elijah’s forehead, and couldn’t help but glance up at the monitors, wishing he could read them, wishing he knew just what was going on.
“Tomorrow… …” Elijah coughed… but he couldn’t speak… and his eyes filled up with tears of frustration.
“We’re getting married, aren’t we, Elijah?” Dominic’s fingers trailed down the side of Elijah’s face. “Tomorrow? We’re getting married, tomorrow?”
Elijah closed his eyes and shook his head. “No…” his voice was a whisper.
“No?” Dominic was genuinely shocked. “But I thought that was what you had always wanted, Elijah. To marry me…?” Dominic took hold of Elijah’s hand and held it tightly, not quite understanding.
It was a minute or two before Elijah could answer. He pulled his mask away, and looked at Dominic with compassion. “You never wanted that, Dom. Despite saying it to me once, I know you’ve never wanted it.”
Dominic swallowed hard, if felt as if he had received a full body blow, and a feeling of guilt suddenly overwhelmed him. “Oh God, Elijah…” He pulled Elijah to him, and couldn’t help but sob loudly.
“It’s ok, Dom… it’s ok… really it is… Don’t be sad, baby…” Elijah held Dominic, and waited for him to calm down, and when he eventually did, he continued. “And yes, tomorrow is a ceremony, … but it’s a ceremony of my love for you.” Elijah paused.
“Will you come?”
“Oh… Lijah…” Dominic lifted his head and wiped away his eyes. “Of course, baby. Of course… I love you so much.”
Elijah smiled as he closed his eyes again. They didn’t say anything else, and gradually Elijah’s breathing began to slow down a little as he began to fall asleep.
Dominic remained awake. His eyes felt scratchy and sore and his heart felt heavy and bereft. He continued stroking Elijah’s hair, his face, his bare arms - just gentle caresses over his exhausted body. And as he did so Dominic recalled reading Elijah’s journal entry documenting his drunken night, in August. He knew he couldn’t remember asking Elijah to marry him, but God, right now… right now, this very second… he knew that there was nothing more he wanted than to marry Elijah.
He had never seen it, in the past… Elijah’s desire to marry. It was something that he had always brushed off, and even made fun of. But now… now that it was probably too late, he knew that marrying Elijah was everything he did want.
“I’m so sorry, Elijah… I’m so sorry…” Dominic felt tears prick the corners of his eyes as he looked at Elijah’s sleeping face. “Marry me, baby?” He whispered. “Marry me…?” Then he laid his head down beside Elijah’s and let the tears come once more.
The bedroom door opened slowly, and Dominic looked over Elijah’s sleeping body. He saw Sala peek his head through the doorway.
“Sala?” Dominic carefully sat up, in order not to disturb Elijah. He wiped his face dry. He felt totally exhausted.
“Umm… Dom…” Sala padded barefoot a little way into the room.
Dominic looked at his watch as he slipped out of the bed. It was three o’clock in the morning.
“What is it?”
“There’s someone at the front door asking for you. Some woman.”
“Woman?” Dominic’s heart skipped a beat. It couldn’t be, could it?
“She sounds foreign.”
My God…She made it! Dominic pushed past Sala and quickly ran his fingers through his unruly hair, in a feeble attempt to smarten up. The front door had been left ajar and as he opened it further, he felt himself begin to shake in anticipation.
Danae smiled at him. She looked tired and rumpled, after her long flight. She picked up her suitcase, and once in the hallway, she dropped it and took Dominic into her arms.
tbc
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Thank god for our previous conversations otherwise I'd be hysterical by now!!!
Will email a bit later, love!
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Laters!
Is busy I emailed a scrappy missive to you, will make up for it post gym!
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Thanks,
Jo
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*hug*
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I want to tell you how much I love the whole story, but I'm not able to find the right words...
And I really can't wait so read the next chapter even though I'm scared...
I'm not good with emotions, but this is too intent too not let it get close to myself...
And I think the "some angst" kind of thing in your warnings is quite ironic, isn't it? ;)
I love you for writing this story, for creating these two characters the way you did and for putting so much love in it for such a long time now...you're amazing.
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So beautiful, just so sad and beautiful.
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oh no, I was loving this so much!
*fingers crossed for a happy ending* No pressure :P
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so lovely. i can't wait for the last two chapters.
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