fellowshippers | (no subject)

Title: Photo Album

Author: Sarah (nickelsandcoats )

Rating: PG for angst

Summary: Dom and Billy look at photos.

For: My lovely beta, ceartas , for her belated birthday pressie. Happy late birthday- I'm sorry about the delay.

Billy came in the front door, shaking the last bit of snow from his hair and stamping the snow off his boots. He could hear the fire crackling merrily as he unwound his scarf and hung his coat up. Sneaking a quick peek to make sure Dom wasn’t lurking around the corner to steal a glance at his Christmas presents, Billy ran lightly down the hall way to hide his packages.

When no one assaulted him on his little errand, he was relieved, but now worried about where exactly Dom had gotten himself off to. He knew perfectly well what Billy had been shopping for that afternoon, and ordinarily would’ve been waiting at the door to see what it was that Billy had bought. He hoped that Dom was still in the house, preferably in the living room where the fireplace was, or he was going to be very angry indeed. When he entered their living room, he found Dom curled up on the leather couch, blanket over his legs, and their dog, Pippin (Billy had rolled his eyes when his lover had named the dog that, but it was the only name it had responded to), on the floor in front of the couch. Dom had a book of some sort open on his lap, he was thumbing through it slowly, eyes crinkling at the corners when he smiled over something.

Billy smiled and walked over to drop a kiss on Dom’s forehead. “Hello, love.” he murmured before straightening and heading for the kitchen and its promise of tea. When he came back with a small tea tray, complete with two cups of tea and a few biscuits, Dom was still engrossed in his book.

He took a cup from Billy’s tray without really looking. “Ta, love.” He murmured before blowing on his tea to cool it.

“Welcome.” Billy sat down next to him, sticking his cold legs under the blanket. “What’cha lookin’ at there?”

“My baby pictures. Got a bit nostalgic today, and then remembered that you had never seen these. Figured that I might as well show you myself rather than suffer through my Mum showing you every single one and boring you to tears with all the details.”

Billy’s eyes lit up. “Gimme!” He cried, reaching over to pull the album closer.

Dom laughed and flipped back to the first page, handing the heavy album to his lover. “Here you are. Try not to laugh too hard, yeah?”

Billy nodded absently as he eagerly flipped through the book, pausing to ask questions and coo over how cute Dom was as a baby. Dom’s ears flushed red under the gentle praise. But the mood shifted from jovial to sombre as Billy reached the end and closed the book with a gentle thump. He bit his lip and looked down, smoothing the cover under his hand. Dom gave him a worried look.

“Everything all right, love?” he asked as he wrapped Billy’s hand in his.

“Yeah. No…I don’t know.”

“Okay.” Dom stroked Billy’s thumb with his own, letting the silence hang between them. Finally Billy looked up and met his eyes.

“Have I ever shown you my pictures?” He asked abruptly.

Dom sat back, surprised. He had always been curious to see them, to hear about Billy’s life before his parents had died, but had never asked for fear of opening old wounds. “No, you haven’t. But I don’t mind, I understand if it’s too painful for you to see them.” He answered softly, his thumb still tracing odd patterns on Billy’s.

Billy bit his lip again and then got up quickly, going down the hall to their bedroom where he retrieved a large red leather album from the very top shelf in the closet. Carrying it down the hall as if it were a priceless treasure, he laid it gently in Dom’s lap. Dom gave him a glance, asking for permission. Billy smiled tightly. “Go on then. I want you to see them…us…as we were before…” He broke off and sat down beside his lover, sharp chin on his shoulder as Dom slowly turned the pages. Billy was fine until the last picture came up; his parents smiling broadly, his own small hand gripping Margaret’s as they both grinned for the camera. It had been taken in their yard when he was only five years old.

Unable to stop himself, Billy traced his parents’ faces with a trembling finger. “I wish you could’ve known them, Dommie. I wish they would’ve had the chance to meet you. To love you as their own son. But…” he trailed off and fought in vain to keep his tears in check. “that will never happen, will it? And they would’ve loved you, Dommie. Just as much as I do. You know that, don’t you? That they wouldn’t have cared about us being together? They only wanted to see us happy. I remember that was the thing Mum told us the most after Da’ passed on; ‘I want ye both to be ‘appy. Do what ye like, love whom you will, but love with all yer ‘eart and it will make ye ‘appy.’ I can still hear them, sometimes. In my dreams, I always think that one day I’ll wake up and hear their voices in the kitchen as they made breakfast, or hear Da’ telling us stories about his own childhood capers when one of us’d get in trouble with Mum. He’d have her laughing so hard, she’d forget to be angry. But most of all, of everything, I just want to see their faces when they know that I’m finally happy, here with you. Being with you. Loving you.” His tears were falling freely now, big fat drops splashing on the blanket.

“Oh Bills.” was all Dom could say as he gently lifted the album out his love’s lap into his own and pulled him into his arms. He stroked the short reddish hair with his long fingers and murmured loving nonsense into his ear as he rocked them back and forth.

Billy’s tears were dampening Dom’s collar, but he couldn’t care. “ ‘M sorry, Dom.”

“For what Billy?” Dom asked, breathing the question into his ear.

“For bein’ a right weepy prat. Shouldn’t affect me so much now, but it does.”

“Nononono. I’d be worried if it didn’t affect you still. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. My God, I can’t even imagine what it must’ve been like, and I’m blown away by how well you handle it. I think I would’ve gone mad by now, or so depressed that nothing would drag me out of it. I admire you Bills, and I love you. Never forget that. Let it out…” Billy sobbed harder, letting out years of pent up feelings. “There we are…just let it out. Shhh….shh.. You’ll be all right love. Just let it wash out over you….shhh…” He rubbed Billy’s shaking shoulders gently and held him tightly when the shaking finally stopped and the sobs subsided to nothing but sniffles and then to silence as Billy fell into an exhausted sleep.

Dom looked down at the picture in his lap, the last one in the album. It was of Billy and his mum, dad, and Margaret, standing in front of their house. Their grins were wide enough to split their faces, and Billy’s Dad’s eyes were crinkled at the corners just like his son’s were when he smiled. There was peace in that picture, and an abundance of love that shone through the chemicals of the photograph. Dom traced the little family’s faces, hoping to capture some of that happiness, before softly pressing that finger to Billy’s lips. His lover shifted slightly in his arms, and a small smile crinkled his eyes as he slept.

Cross posted to the usual.