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fellowshippers2004-10-04 04:11 pm
the-duckie.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2004-10-04 04:11 pm
CD fic set.
"transatlanticism" cd - death cab for cutie
all fics are titled after some songs from the cd and influenced heavily by the mood of the music and the lyrics. some lyrics are included, but meshed into the writing.
monaboyd. pg/pg13.
angst warning!
all false, pure fiction!
titles © of death cab for cutie
comments and feedback are loved!
"Passenger Seat"
Dominic loved coming to visit Billy in Glasgow if not for anything more than the late night drive from the airport to his friend's apartment. He always rode with the window down, eyes fixed and staring out into darkness of untouched woods mingled among society that still gave off the wonderful scent of evergreen. It was always so calming, so peaceful, so perfect and one of the rare moments that he never would think of giving up to the world. And each time it was the same, Dom reclined in the seat, foot propped up against the dash and over the air conditioning vent. Scruffy chin resting on the seatbelt strap, eyes focused and yet completely unfocused as the world passed them by.
He would ask Billy questions, simple nonsensical things that he knew would just make the other man smile. And if he could make Billy smile, then he knew all things were right in their world. Billy would answer him softly; pointing out things that Dom had either known all of his life or something he had never even thought of. Billy was the one to drive him around, to guide him and keep him set on the right path through all he did.
He was his Billy, the one who would always smile when he asked a stupid question. The one who would never hesitate to ask him to fly halfway across the world to ride home in the passenger seat as he stared up at the night sky. Even if he arrived earlier on in the day, they waited until it was dark and the roads were empty to drive home. Just for the drive where Dom's shoes would scuff the cleaned dash and the stars and satellites above would be the only ones to know that the rest of the world didn't matter at the moment.
"The Sound of Settling"
Every time he saw Dominic, he yearned for something more than the teasing and friendly touches. The brush of a hand here, a ruffle of the hair there, and even the arm draped around him where all Billy could smell was the scent of Dom's cologne and something distinctly his own. A scent that he lost himself to, often finding himself having zoned out with green eyes clouded over. And yet, clouded blue eyes that were deceptive -- oh how clear they were -- brought him back to the present and Billy bit his tongue each time. A quick lie thrown together to throw Dom off from finding out his daydreams.
It killed him, he knew that he should let it out and when he tried, it never made it past his mouth. Instead, he was greeted with silence or something completely out of the blue though for spending time with Dom, such a comment never felt or seemed out of place. He knew he wasn't getting any younger and Billy swore he had true love and the one for him right beside him. The idea of growing gray with Dominic made his stomach dance and a smile pass over his features. They could stay together and talk about old loves and others that could have been, but they would have each other.
And finally, Billy's tongue did not stay itself and instead of a random comment, the truth came pouring out of him like someone had broke the dam keeping emotion and confessions within him. And suddenly the knots in his stomach disappeared...
"Tiny Vessels"
Dom had always told Billy that he loved him, that he was beautiful and each sentiment had been returned. And Dom didn't mean a word of it, but now he knew Billy had. What he thought of, as a smile between friends had been the knowing smile of adoration and love from Billy. And he had led along the best person to come into his life. And now green eyes were red, bowed lips tightly pursed into an emotionless white line. The smaller man's form curled up, oversized sweater pulled close as if trying to hide within the lush fabric. As if he wanted to hide from Dom, and in reality, Billy did. To hide from the uniquely beautiful man that had praised him and professed love to him but every word, every moment, had been hollow and false.
That realization had been the crushing blow; it had shattered his hopes and daydreams of what they could have. It had stricken Billy from all words, from all actions and left him with naught else to do than curl upon himself. He wrapped his arms around himself, clinging tightly and closed tear burned eyes tightly with the attempt to pretend his own arms were Dom's and the back of the chair was the other man. And yet, he could hear Dom pacing about and his illusion was shattered yet again.
Dom just wanted to believe and mean all of the words he'd shared.
There had been brief kisses, jokes on Dom's behalf. And there had been touches, some rougher than others while rough housing that had left bruises but he never realized that Billy did not go out of his way to hide them from others. Billy treasured anything that Dom gave him, but the marks had faded and the taste of each other’s lips had long since washed away. And Billy would always think that it had meant something so much more, but Billy was beautiful but he didn't mean a thing to Dom.
Neither could bring themselves to talk about it, it would remain the haunting tormenting secret that loomed between them. An invisible wall that cast silence down upon them and tension wrapped them both in tight shrouds, hiding them from one another. Despite how much they wanted to comfort each other, both knew there was no passing the unseen wall separating them. Each had caused the grief and tension upon the other and neither knew how to lift it.
"Title and Registration"
Dominic had always been so full of life, so warm, so vibrant. So much passion for so many different people, for so many different causes and ideas that Billy always marveled at the fact that his hands didn't scald when he touched Dom. His eyes were alive with a fire, a light and lust for life, and he had a stare that burned, smoldered, and left a charred imprint upon Billy. And he knew it.
And when he searched for that same heat, that same passion in Dominic, it was not there. It was cold. There was no smoldering heat and passion there when Billy touched his friend, but the heat was that of a friend. Billy was looking for that heat in the heat of a lover, and he learned that no matter how often he outstretched his hands, he wouldn't find the heat. It wouldn't spark and crackle before coming to life. His hands would come back cold. Dom would remain cold.
Green eyes stared up at the ceiling; he could hear the television on downstairs. Dominic wasn't sleeping either. Was he thinking of the touch, thinking of the sudden loss of heat? Was he repulsed, scared, concerned or toying with the idea? The Scotsman's mind reeled, he couldn't hazard a guess at Dom's mind, and his heart's intentions were clouded and confusing now. And Billy was lost, doomed to lie awake at night as he wandered the paths of what if and should have until the sun woke him in the morning. The sun with its empty heat that burned and smoldered but at the same time, was cold. There was heat, but no warmth. And suddenly it struck him.
Dominic was the sun. And now that the warmth was gone, it was suddenly as if it had never been there at all.
"Transatlanticism"
Billy could see him there, sitting on the steps leading down to the yard. Knees drawn to his chest, an arm haphazardly draped about his legs to hug them close. The angular chin poised atop a corduroy covered knee as stormy blue eyes focused out and over the grass to the stormy blue clouds that rivaled those eyes for intensity. A tempest approaching to battle the tempest that had already settled ashore between them. An unseen torrent of emotions that made the air feel heavy, crackle and condemn them both for the silence that had taken up residence over the hours and verging upon a day.
Billy could see him there, surrounded by a cloud of smoke that wafted from the bright burning orange embers at the tip of the cigarette. How many had he smoked so far? He'd lost count, but disappointment still lingered within his heart. Billy thought he'd quit smoking long before now, but that was simply another thing he had been wrong about. He had been wrong about what they were to each other, he had been wrong about what each other felt, and he had been wrong about why they'd secluded themselves away from the world. Who knew saying "a weekend away from the world so we can work" actually meant what it meant?
Green eyes focused on the smoke that swirled around the other man's head, watching it twist and turn with the wind. The grey tendrils that none could ever grasp twining among the blond and brown hair, just like his fingers had done the night before. Would they ever again? And as the wind rushed from the water and over them both, it washed away the smoke from the air and took Billy's hope with it. And it left him with a hollow realization.
Two steps away would never be closer than standing on opposite sides of the Atlantic as they normally did. Billy knew he couldn't row that far; it was just a distance too great. And he knew that the other man wouldn't bother rowing, but perhaps fly when it worked best. And even then, they would stay two steps apart. And two steps seemed so much farther than ever before.
"A Lack of Color"
The room was empty, but Billy knew that if he had gone into the next room he would only be greeted with the same haunting hollow nature that now filled his simple Glasgow home. Dominic was gone. Their world had been turned upside down and it had been his fault, he had been the one to try to set them onto a path of being more than just friends. Dom didn't want that, but Billy could accept that and couldn't see it. He had pressed on, and now Dominic was gone. He was back in Los Angeles where the air was heavy with sex and dreams of tainted success. He was back where the lights never went out and the true stars overhead were never seen, only the makeshift ones rooted to the Earth and worldly possessions.
He reached out, small fingers tracing along the curve of the phone. His mind raced, it reeled and was overwhelmed at the possibilities of things to say. Anything, everything, and nothing at all. Would he cry? Would he be mad? Would he pretend as if nothing had happened between them and he merely wanted to make an early morning to late night call to his best mate? Would his tongue run from him, slurring out the confessions of anything and everything long since kept within or would he lose his voice entirely?
Billy knew it was too late; he had not given Dom a reason to stay but only reasons to go. He would be greeted by the answering machine and his pleas for his friend to return to him would go unanswered. A line had been crossed and what they had had been lost for forever, new relationships could be formed but the pure friendship had been lost somewhere between 'hello' and 'goodbye.' And Billy had no idea where to start looking for it once more.
Their world had been turned upside down and neither man's minds could figure out how to turn it around and set it right side up once more.
all fics are titled after some songs from the cd and influenced heavily by the mood of the music and the lyrics. some lyrics are included, but meshed into the writing.
monaboyd. pg/pg13.
angst warning!
all false, pure fiction!
titles © of death cab for cutie
comments and feedback are loved!
"Passenger Seat"
Dominic loved coming to visit Billy in Glasgow if not for anything more than the late night drive from the airport to his friend's apartment. He always rode with the window down, eyes fixed and staring out into darkness of untouched woods mingled among society that still gave off the wonderful scent of evergreen. It was always so calming, so peaceful, so perfect and one of the rare moments that he never would think of giving up to the world. And each time it was the same, Dom reclined in the seat, foot propped up against the dash and over the air conditioning vent. Scruffy chin resting on the seatbelt strap, eyes focused and yet completely unfocused as the world passed them by.
He would ask Billy questions, simple nonsensical things that he knew would just make the other man smile. And if he could make Billy smile, then he knew all things were right in their world. Billy would answer him softly; pointing out things that Dom had either known all of his life or something he had never even thought of. Billy was the one to drive him around, to guide him and keep him set on the right path through all he did.
He was his Billy, the one who would always smile when he asked a stupid question. The one who would never hesitate to ask him to fly halfway across the world to ride home in the passenger seat as he stared up at the night sky. Even if he arrived earlier on in the day, they waited until it was dark and the roads were empty to drive home. Just for the drive where Dom's shoes would scuff the cleaned dash and the stars and satellites above would be the only ones to know that the rest of the world didn't matter at the moment.
"The Sound of Settling"
Every time he saw Dominic, he yearned for something more than the teasing and friendly touches. The brush of a hand here, a ruffle of the hair there, and even the arm draped around him where all Billy could smell was the scent of Dom's cologne and something distinctly his own. A scent that he lost himself to, often finding himself having zoned out with green eyes clouded over. And yet, clouded blue eyes that were deceptive -- oh how clear they were -- brought him back to the present and Billy bit his tongue each time. A quick lie thrown together to throw Dom off from finding out his daydreams.
It killed him, he knew that he should let it out and when he tried, it never made it past his mouth. Instead, he was greeted with silence or something completely out of the blue though for spending time with Dom, such a comment never felt or seemed out of place. He knew he wasn't getting any younger and Billy swore he had true love and the one for him right beside him. The idea of growing gray with Dominic made his stomach dance and a smile pass over his features. They could stay together and talk about old loves and others that could have been, but they would have each other.
And finally, Billy's tongue did not stay itself and instead of a random comment, the truth came pouring out of him like someone had broke the dam keeping emotion and confessions within him. And suddenly the knots in his stomach disappeared...
"Tiny Vessels"
Dom had always told Billy that he loved him, that he was beautiful and each sentiment had been returned. And Dom didn't mean a word of it, but now he knew Billy had. What he thought of, as a smile between friends had been the knowing smile of adoration and love from Billy. And he had led along the best person to come into his life. And now green eyes were red, bowed lips tightly pursed into an emotionless white line. The smaller man's form curled up, oversized sweater pulled close as if trying to hide within the lush fabric. As if he wanted to hide from Dom, and in reality, Billy did. To hide from the uniquely beautiful man that had praised him and professed love to him but every word, every moment, had been hollow and false.
That realization had been the crushing blow; it had shattered his hopes and daydreams of what they could have. It had stricken Billy from all words, from all actions and left him with naught else to do than curl upon himself. He wrapped his arms around himself, clinging tightly and closed tear burned eyes tightly with the attempt to pretend his own arms were Dom's and the back of the chair was the other man. And yet, he could hear Dom pacing about and his illusion was shattered yet again.
Dom just wanted to believe and mean all of the words he'd shared.
There had been brief kisses, jokes on Dom's behalf. And there had been touches, some rougher than others while rough housing that had left bruises but he never realized that Billy did not go out of his way to hide them from others. Billy treasured anything that Dom gave him, but the marks had faded and the taste of each other’s lips had long since washed away. And Billy would always think that it had meant something so much more, but Billy was beautiful but he didn't mean a thing to Dom.
Neither could bring themselves to talk about it, it would remain the haunting tormenting secret that loomed between them. An invisible wall that cast silence down upon them and tension wrapped them both in tight shrouds, hiding them from one another. Despite how much they wanted to comfort each other, both knew there was no passing the unseen wall separating them. Each had caused the grief and tension upon the other and neither knew how to lift it.
"Title and Registration"
Dominic had always been so full of life, so warm, so vibrant. So much passion for so many different people, for so many different causes and ideas that Billy always marveled at the fact that his hands didn't scald when he touched Dom. His eyes were alive with a fire, a light and lust for life, and he had a stare that burned, smoldered, and left a charred imprint upon Billy. And he knew it.
And when he searched for that same heat, that same passion in Dominic, it was not there. It was cold. There was no smoldering heat and passion there when Billy touched his friend, but the heat was that of a friend. Billy was looking for that heat in the heat of a lover, and he learned that no matter how often he outstretched his hands, he wouldn't find the heat. It wouldn't spark and crackle before coming to life. His hands would come back cold. Dom would remain cold.
Green eyes stared up at the ceiling; he could hear the television on downstairs. Dominic wasn't sleeping either. Was he thinking of the touch, thinking of the sudden loss of heat? Was he repulsed, scared, concerned or toying with the idea? The Scotsman's mind reeled, he couldn't hazard a guess at Dom's mind, and his heart's intentions were clouded and confusing now. And Billy was lost, doomed to lie awake at night as he wandered the paths of what if and should have until the sun woke him in the morning. The sun with its empty heat that burned and smoldered but at the same time, was cold. There was heat, but no warmth. And suddenly it struck him.
Dominic was the sun. And now that the warmth was gone, it was suddenly as if it had never been there at all.
"Transatlanticism"
Billy could see him there, sitting on the steps leading down to the yard. Knees drawn to his chest, an arm haphazardly draped about his legs to hug them close. The angular chin poised atop a corduroy covered knee as stormy blue eyes focused out and over the grass to the stormy blue clouds that rivaled those eyes for intensity. A tempest approaching to battle the tempest that had already settled ashore between them. An unseen torrent of emotions that made the air feel heavy, crackle and condemn them both for the silence that had taken up residence over the hours and verging upon a day.
Billy could see him there, surrounded by a cloud of smoke that wafted from the bright burning orange embers at the tip of the cigarette. How many had he smoked so far? He'd lost count, but disappointment still lingered within his heart. Billy thought he'd quit smoking long before now, but that was simply another thing he had been wrong about. He had been wrong about what they were to each other, he had been wrong about what each other felt, and he had been wrong about why they'd secluded themselves away from the world. Who knew saying "a weekend away from the world so we can work" actually meant what it meant?
Green eyes focused on the smoke that swirled around the other man's head, watching it twist and turn with the wind. The grey tendrils that none could ever grasp twining among the blond and brown hair, just like his fingers had done the night before. Would they ever again? And as the wind rushed from the water and over them both, it washed away the smoke from the air and took Billy's hope with it. And it left him with a hollow realization.
Two steps away would never be closer than standing on opposite sides of the Atlantic as they normally did. Billy knew he couldn't row that far; it was just a distance too great. And he knew that the other man wouldn't bother rowing, but perhaps fly when it worked best. And even then, they would stay two steps apart. And two steps seemed so much farther than ever before.
"A Lack of Color"
The room was empty, but Billy knew that if he had gone into the next room he would only be greeted with the same haunting hollow nature that now filled his simple Glasgow home. Dominic was gone. Their world had been turned upside down and it had been his fault, he had been the one to try to set them onto a path of being more than just friends. Dom didn't want that, but Billy could accept that and couldn't see it. He had pressed on, and now Dominic was gone. He was back in Los Angeles where the air was heavy with sex and dreams of tainted success. He was back where the lights never went out and the true stars overhead were never seen, only the makeshift ones rooted to the Earth and worldly possessions.
He reached out, small fingers tracing along the curve of the phone. His mind raced, it reeled and was overwhelmed at the possibilities of things to say. Anything, everything, and nothing at all. Would he cry? Would he be mad? Would he pretend as if nothing had happened between them and he merely wanted to make an early morning to late night call to his best mate? Would his tongue run from him, slurring out the confessions of anything and everything long since kept within or would he lose his voice entirely?
Billy knew it was too late; he had not given Dom a reason to stay but only reasons to go. He would be greeted by the answering machine and his pleas for his friend to return to him would go unanswered. A line had been crossed and what they had had been lost for forever, new relationships could be formed but the pure friendship had been lost somewhere between 'hello' and 'goodbye.' And Billy had no idea where to start looking for it once more.
Their world had been turned upside down and neither man's minds could figure out how to turn it around and set it right side up once more.
no subject
I'm actually listening to the CD right now, and...
wow.
Just wow.
That was fucking incredible. I loved it. *saves to memories and admires it muchly*
no subject
You know I love your writing, all of it, but this stands out, I think. even if it is monaboyd.
I don't know how to put it. This is just really really good. It's different for some reason. 'unno.. if I think of something clearer I'll tell you as soon as I can. But da.. this is just fantastic <3 You're amazing, as always.
Makes me sniffle.
no subject
And hey, couldn't angst Dom and Orli that bad, or even Dom and Jon. I figured I could pull off Monaboyd fairly well, so there's my reasoning.
no subject
you're a great writer. :)
no subject
and yay, the boys are even giving me a round of applause. i was sitting here, pouting about not knowing what to write, was listening to the cd on repeat, and that's what came of it.
no subject
Fabulous work! =D
And thanks for the new band =D =D =D I've never heard them before but their lyrics are amasing =D
no subject
And I'm so glad you like them, they're absolutely amazing. Actually had heard of them before hand, then heard Dom praise them and went back and checked. Man has beautiful taste in music.
no subject