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fellowshippers2004-08-20 10:26 pm
the-duckie.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2004-08-20 10:26 pm
When Blinking Hurts...
Title: When Blinking Hurts...
Author:![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
_sblomie
Pairing: Dominic Monaghan/Unidentified, Elijah Wood
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Dominic has a haunting memory. Written for the LOTRPS Challenge #17.
Feedback: Is the only reason I post this publically.
As long as the music's loud enough, we won't hear the world falling apart. - Elijah
Dominic had read the note over and over, hearing Elijah's words ring clear through his mind though he knew if the man came and stood no more than three feet before him, Dom would never hear a word. The music had yet to be turned down, he'd hidden away in his cds and stereo, hiding from the world around him and from himself. It'd change from time to time, drowning in his own sorrow, listening to the saddest songs he could find; purging him of all tears he could muster. And once he was nothing more than a barren, broken shell of his former self, the music would change once more. And the world would seem red, not for rosy and hopeful outlooks but from anger. Anger at himself, at the world, at love, and at him.
"Hey man, hold on a second," Dom said, grabbing the other man by his wrist as he went to go into his house. "I have something I've been meaning to tell you for sometime now."
"Yea? Well, hurry it up, I've got to piss like a race horse," he heard the teasing lilt in the accented voice, an accent different than his own.
"I've fallen for you," Dom confessed, pulling on the arm still in his grasp, bringing their bodies closer together. The shock of his confession had left his friend speechless and Dom took the advantage he was given. The slight distance was closed, lips pressing to the other man's own, his free hand coming to rest on the small of the small of his back, pressing against the slightly sweat soaked t-shirt.
However, the moment had been short lived. Shock wore off and soon he had a strong arm straightening out to shove him away. Dom stumbled back a few steps, nearly falling as he back peddled from the porch. Confusion and hurt rang clear in misty blue eyes.
"Dom..." he started and Dom knew that tone of voice, he didn't even bother looking up to meet the other man's gaze. Those eyes always warmed him, he always found himself getting lost in them and had thought they could be the eyes of a lover, but he was wrong. "Dom, I'm sorry. You're a mate and all, but I don't want anything like that from you. I've someone else already and he and I are happy, and have been. I should've told you, but I'm sorry."
The memory returned to him time and time again. It'd haunted him the rest of the night, the last time there had been silence for him. But, in the silence there was only his troubling thoughts and the voices of doubt and irrationality screaming in his head. And so, once the morning came about and it was time for their time in feet, Dominic had drowned out the voices by the music. When anyone, it didn't matter who, seemed to ask about turning down the music, he had only turned it up.
Headphones covered his ears when the cameras weren't rolling, and when they were, all he could hear was the dull echo of his voice over the high pitched ringing that seemed to be without an end. And he relished it, it drowned out the voices and the voices caused the physical reactions.
The hollow ache that made it feel as if his ribs could implode upon himself at a moment's notice, that he would be crushed under his own disappointment. His own rejection. Dom had put it out there, he'd finally swallowed his pride and his fear -- two things larger than he would wont -- and he had confessed and exposed himself. A risk that his gut had told him not to take, but a risk he had taken. A risk that he now regretted. How could he not have seen that there was already someone else? How could he have been so blind? And how could something that never started before it ended hurt so much? Muscles tensing to the point of painful cramps, stomach churning and knotting up so violently it brought tears to his eyes and caused his form to curl in upon itself. Or shaking that was like the worst of shivers he could experience, but no amount of blankets would chase away the chill settled deep within his heart. Coursing through his very blood.
The same feelings returned to him each time the memory flickered through his mind, a memory that haunted him. The scene emblazoned upon the insides of his eyelids and replayed for him each time he blinked. He had never known blinking, something so natural, could hurt so much.
It was at the end of feet that Elijah had given him the crudely scribbled note on a coffee stained napkin, but Elijah was wrong. The music could not get any louder, and Dom could hear his world crashing within him clear as day.
Author:
_sblomiePairing: Dominic Monaghan/Unidentified, Elijah Wood
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Dominic has a haunting memory. Written for the LOTRPS Challenge #17.
Feedback: Is the only reason I post this publically.
Dominic had read the note over and over, hearing Elijah's words ring clear through his mind though he knew if the man came and stood no more than three feet before him, Dom would never hear a word. The music had yet to be turned down, he'd hidden away in his cds and stereo, hiding from the world around him and from himself. It'd change from time to time, drowning in his own sorrow, listening to the saddest songs he could find; purging him of all tears he could muster. And once he was nothing more than a barren, broken shell of his former self, the music would change once more. And the world would seem red, not for rosy and hopeful outlooks but from anger. Anger at himself, at the world, at love, and at him.
"Hey man, hold on a second," Dom said, grabbing the other man by his wrist as he went to go into his house. "I have something I've been meaning to tell you for sometime now."
"Yea? Well, hurry it up, I've got to piss like a race horse," he heard the teasing lilt in the accented voice, an accent different than his own.
"I've fallen for you," Dom confessed, pulling on the arm still in his grasp, bringing their bodies closer together. The shock of his confession had left his friend speechless and Dom took the advantage he was given. The slight distance was closed, lips pressing to the other man's own, his free hand coming to rest on the small of the small of his back, pressing against the slightly sweat soaked t-shirt.
However, the moment had been short lived. Shock wore off and soon he had a strong arm straightening out to shove him away. Dom stumbled back a few steps, nearly falling as he back peddled from the porch. Confusion and hurt rang clear in misty blue eyes.
"Dom..." he started and Dom knew that tone of voice, he didn't even bother looking up to meet the other man's gaze. Those eyes always warmed him, he always found himself getting lost in them and had thought they could be the eyes of a lover, but he was wrong. "Dom, I'm sorry. You're a mate and all, but I don't want anything like that from you. I've someone else already and he and I are happy, and have been. I should've told you, but I'm sorry."
The memory returned to him time and time again. It'd haunted him the rest of the night, the last time there had been silence for him. But, in the silence there was only his troubling thoughts and the voices of doubt and irrationality screaming in his head. And so, once the morning came about and it was time for their time in feet, Dominic had drowned out the voices by the music. When anyone, it didn't matter who, seemed to ask about turning down the music, he had only turned it up.
Headphones covered his ears when the cameras weren't rolling, and when they were, all he could hear was the dull echo of his voice over the high pitched ringing that seemed to be without an end. And he relished it, it drowned out the voices and the voices caused the physical reactions.
The hollow ache that made it feel as if his ribs could implode upon himself at a moment's notice, that he would be crushed under his own disappointment. His own rejection. Dom had put it out there, he'd finally swallowed his pride and his fear -- two things larger than he would wont -- and he had confessed and exposed himself. A risk that his gut had told him not to take, but a risk he had taken. A risk that he now regretted. How could he not have seen that there was already someone else? How could he have been so blind? And how could something that never started before it ended hurt so much? Muscles tensing to the point of painful cramps, stomach churning and knotting up so violently it brought tears to his eyes and caused his form to curl in upon itself. Or shaking that was like the worst of shivers he could experience, but no amount of blankets would chase away the chill settled deep within his heart. Coursing through his very blood.
The same feelings returned to him each time the memory flickered through his mind, a memory that haunted him. The scene emblazoned upon the insides of his eyelids and replayed for him each time he blinked. He had never known blinking, something so natural, could hurt so much.
It was at the end of feet that Elijah had given him the crudely scribbled note on a coffee stained napkin, but Elijah was wrong. The music could not get any louder, and Dom could hear his world crashing within him clear as day.
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then again, I've taken the same advice many a time - I'm surprised I can still hear as well as I can.
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<333!
you're amazing...and I love you.
Re: <333!
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It was at the end of feet that Elijah had given him the crudely scribbled note on a coffee stained napkin, but Elijah was wrong. The music could not get any louder, and Dom could hear his world crashing within him clear as day. Wow. Wow and guh and holy shite and kagda;jkfaf.
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