. (
hackthis.livejournal.com) wrote in
fellowshippers2003-02-16 07:52 pm
(no subject)
Title: Peace and Tea
Author:
hackthis
Rating: PG
For Kassie.
The whole idea was to approach the task with a clear head, so he makes a cup of tea before sitting down. Except he doesn’t really sit as much as he drops to his knees on the short side of the coffee table with an audible ‘thump.’ The cup rattles around in the saucer, slopping drops of black tea all over everything including the shirt that he’s just washed. He doesn’t really mind though. It’s not about him.
It’s the message that’s important, not the canvas behind it.
He moves the tea around several times, getting more spatters on the table and the poster board. There’s barely half a cup left, and once he contemplated bringing a drop cloth inside the house. Perhaps the idea has merit. It’s only a fleeting thought though as he uncaps a marker and begins to work. The lines are fluid and thick, and his hand moves of its own accord, giving him time to think.
He had gone shopping with Henry the day before and bought fat markers and Sharpies in a multitude of colors. Some he doesn't need and quite a few he will never use. He bought them though, because Henry had insisted, and he likes humoring Henry. He likes indulging his son, and sometimes he worries that he indulges him too much. Sometimes he worries that it's not enough. That *he's* not enough.
Often Viggo worries that he's doing it, parenting, all wrong. He hopes he’s not a horrible parent, that Exene will tell him if he’s really messing up. She’s never had problems with telling him other things, so surely she’d tell him this. Except that maybe she doesn’t know anything more than he does, and all his worries are exacerbated by his lack of experience.
He wonders how his parents did it, how they managed with he and his brothers and then he wonders if he turned out the way his parents wanted. He’s not even sure if *he’s* turned out the way he wanted. He hopes that Henry doesn’t mind though. He prays that he’s not doing Henry some sort of irreparable harm by being who he is. What he is. He's heard all the horror stories of children who grow up in Hollywood, but he's done his best to keep Henry apart from all that.
Now he’s not sure how much he’s succeeded, and as he reaches for another piece of cardboard he knows that it’s not enough. Exene tries, and he tries, but they’re not enough for Henry, and Viggo hopes that Henry has the right sort of friends.
Viggo hopes for a lot of things, even when he despairs.
And he does despair; his life has taught him that. It’s not about faith and religion, but about being one man trying to protect the people he loves and knowing exactly how small he is in the scheme of things.
That's why he’s making these posters.
Huge cardboard signs and placards. Tee shirts with stars and slogans in black and red. No blood for oil‘. 'War is not the answer.'
'Give peace a chance.'
Viggo remembers when John Lennon died.
He remembers a lot of things, like when Henry was born and the fear he felt that he was responsible for making things right for this little person. It made him afraid. Almost as afraid as he feels right now, putting stars on a shirt that he’ll wear the next time he’s in the limelight.
He wants a better world for Henry.
He wants a better world for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is Orlando, who chooses that moment to come in with two cups of tea and a package of biscuits under one arm.
Author:
Rating: PG
For Kassie.
The whole idea was to approach the task with a clear head, so he makes a cup of tea before sitting down. Except he doesn’t really sit as much as he drops to his knees on the short side of the coffee table with an audible ‘thump.’ The cup rattles around in the saucer, slopping drops of black tea all over everything including the shirt that he’s just washed. He doesn’t really mind though. It’s not about him.
It’s the message that’s important, not the canvas behind it.
He moves the tea around several times, getting more spatters on the table and the poster board. There’s barely half a cup left, and once he contemplated bringing a drop cloth inside the house. Perhaps the idea has merit. It’s only a fleeting thought though as he uncaps a marker and begins to work. The lines are fluid and thick, and his hand moves of its own accord, giving him time to think.
He had gone shopping with Henry the day before and bought fat markers and Sharpies in a multitude of colors. Some he doesn't need and quite a few he will never use. He bought them though, because Henry had insisted, and he likes humoring Henry. He likes indulging his son, and sometimes he worries that he indulges him too much. Sometimes he worries that it's not enough. That *he's* not enough.
Often Viggo worries that he's doing it, parenting, all wrong. He hopes he’s not a horrible parent, that Exene will tell him if he’s really messing up. She’s never had problems with telling him other things, so surely she’d tell him this. Except that maybe she doesn’t know anything more than he does, and all his worries are exacerbated by his lack of experience.
He wonders how his parents did it, how they managed with he and his brothers and then he wonders if he turned out the way his parents wanted. He’s not even sure if *he’s* turned out the way he wanted. He hopes that Henry doesn’t mind though. He prays that he’s not doing Henry some sort of irreparable harm by being who he is. What he is. He's heard all the horror stories of children who grow up in Hollywood, but he's done his best to keep Henry apart from all that.
Now he’s not sure how much he’s succeeded, and as he reaches for another piece of cardboard he knows that it’s not enough. Exene tries, and he tries, but they’re not enough for Henry, and Viggo hopes that Henry has the right sort of friends.
Viggo hopes for a lot of things, even when he despairs.
And he does despair; his life has taught him that. It’s not about faith and religion, but about being one man trying to protect the people he loves and knowing exactly how small he is in the scheme of things.
That's why he’s making these posters.
Huge cardboard signs and placards. Tee shirts with stars and slogans in black and red. No blood for oil‘. 'War is not the answer.'
'Give peace a chance.'
Viggo remembers when John Lennon died.
He remembers a lot of things, like when Henry was born and the fear he felt that he was responsible for making things right for this little person. It made him afraid. Almost as afraid as he feels right now, putting stars on a shirt that he’ll wear the next time he’s in the limelight.
He wants a better world for Henry.
He wants a better world for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is Orlando, who chooses that moment to come in with two cups of tea and a package of biscuits under one arm.

no subject
Oh well!
Anyway, loved the whole feel of this. Very real, in that I can see Viggo having these worries and wanting things to be better for Henry. You made it very alive. Hell, I want the world to be a better place for Henry now.
no subject
I ran into a friend at the march in SF today, and he said that had other things to do, but he was there today because he has kids, that speaks for me too.
no subject
no subject
Loved how you mixed Viggo's RL love for his son and anti-war stance into a fic without cheapening them. You did that wonderfully.
no subject
Thank you so much for all your kindess, I'm glad that you enjoyed this.