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Alright, here's the deal. This little bastard has been tormenting me for 2 weeks, and while I think it could be better, I'm just glad to have it out of my system. I'd like to hear feedback if you feel the urge.

Title: Disappearing Act
Category: LotR RPS
Rating: PG13, language
Pairing: Orlando Bloom / Elijah Wood (which is certainly not my area of expertise but just go with it).


Disappearing Act


Orlando is in Los Angeles for now, and while he practically knows everyone who’s anyone, he rarely sees people. Occasionally people from his other movies, and all that, but it’s usually those from Rings. Astin, obviously, and sometimes Billy or Dom will make a guest appearance. But more so than anyone, Orlando finds himself spending his days with Elijah.

Consequently, he has taken to spending his nights thinking about Elijah as well.




Elijah disappears for a week, and then shows up unannounced with a surfboard. So Orlando and him go to the beach, and Elijah surfs while Orlando just lies in the sand. After what seems to be an eternity of surfing, Lij comes back out of the water and sits down in the sand. There’s seaweed in his hair.

“Hold still,” says Orlando, and carefully pulls it out.

Elijah just cocks his head to one side and grins, in a way that is markedly unlike Elijah.

He runs a hand up Orlando’s arm and it lingers on his bicep for a moment. Then he lies back in the sand, face turned towards the sun. Orlando is left with a strange kinetic feeling in his stomach.



He doesn’t come round Orlando’s apartment for 4 days after that. No phone call or explanation or anything. When he finally does show up he reeks of pot and keeps chuckling.

“Where’ve you been?” asks Orlando.

“Oh, you know… just around, man… I’ve been around.”

And then Elijah wobbles and tilts forward, and Orlando has to dart out his arms to keep him from cracking his head on the kitchen counter. He carefully sets Elijah upright, eyeing him warily.

Elijah leans forward and tries to kiss him, but catches the edge of his mouth instead, and then pulls away abruptly.

“I. Um. I… excuse me,” Orlando stutters, and backs away towards the bathroom, thinking, ‘What the FUCK just happened?’, because nothing like this has ever transpired between them before. When he returns to the kitchen after collecting himself a few minutes later, Elijah is gone. Oh, Jesus, he thinks to himself. Everything’s gone balls up now.

He lies awake that night, staring at the dark ceiling, wondering where the fuck Elijah gets off, doing all this. Pulling those eyes at him, letting their hands linger for a bit too long, and then kissing him – kissing him! – and then just leaving. Because now Orlando is just confused, confused to hell and back.

Elijah drops off the face of the Earth for the next couple of days.



It’s a Saturday night when Elijah shows up again. Orlando’s asleep, but the click of the bedroom door opening wakes him. The moonlight illuminates Elijah, standing at the foot of the bed, all silvery and blurred edges. Spare key, thinks Orlando sleepily, regarding how Elijah’s gotten in. Must need something. Elijah quietly closes the door behind himself.

“Lij…” Orlando starts to say, but suddenly there’s a weight on the bed and in one deft movement Elijah’s next to him, under the sheets. “What—”

But then Elijah is kissing him, and he finds himself talking into Lij’s mouth, so he just stops. And strangely, he doesn’t pull away; he just kisses back, brain waves shorting out.

And it’s not like anything he’d every experienced, or even imagined, and he’s not sure if it’s a good thing, but he’s fairly sure that he doesn’t plan to stop, because in all it’s incredible strangeness, it feels shockingly good. More than good, even.

Then their shirts are coming off, Orlando’s white cotton and Elijah’s black t-shirt, and they’re frantically kissing the way down one another’s necks, shoulders, and collarbones. Elijah’s fingers are digging into Orlando’s back, and then he’s on top of him.

And then jeans (Elijah’s) and shorts (Orlando’s) are coming off and the last thing Orlando clearly thinks is “Oh, God.”



When Orlando wakes up the next morning, he fully expects there to be no traces of Elijah, but by some miracle there he is, still in bed next to him.

Awkwardly, he nudges Elijah, who rolls over sleepily to look at him.

“Thought you might’ve gone by now,” Orlando says. Elijah just extends a finger to trace his collarbone. “You keep running away from me every time we look at each other.” There’s a pause, and a sheepish expression from Elijah. “Figured you would have been half way to Russia by now.”

“Orlando…” Elijah sighs, and rolls over closer. “You of all people should know that I usually have no fucking idea what I want.”

“Really.”

“Really.”

“Then what are we doing?”

Elijah just shrugs, but lays an arm around Orlando’s shoulder.

“Are you staying?” Orlando asks.

“Of course,” Elijah says, and then he’s kissing Orlando.

So Elijah stays, and while it’s definitely awkward to acknowledge that whatever their relationship used to be has changed entirely into something else, Orlando thinks that it will probably get less awkward from here out, and maybe something good, even great, will develop from all of this.

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