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fellowshippers2004-05-09 08:08 pm
If I Die (part 7)
Title: If I Die (Part 7)
Author:![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dani_grl4
Pairing: Dom/Billy
Rating: R for mild violence and swearing.
Disclaimer: So glad this isn’t true.
Feedback: Makes the world go ‘round.
Warning: Angst. However, despite the title, there is no death.
Summary: Billy’s still missing and his situation is even more desperate. Dom’s POV, mostly.
A/N: I’m running out of wonderful things to say about ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
canciona, y’all. She’s a lovely friend and neat beta. Also, she’s a great writer. Go read her stuff, per piacere.
Prologue, Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6
“I knew he was alive.”
“Yes you did, Dom,” Elijah whispers in his ear. “We all wanted Billy to be alive.”
Dom pulls away slightly to look at Elijah’s face. “No, I knew he was alive. He’s alive Elijah. He’s out there, somewhere – alive. I heard his voice. H-he said my name.” Dom sobs on the floor in exactly the same place he fell the moment the line leading to Billy had gone dead.
He said my name.
Dom repeats this as a mantra and all Elijah can do is hold onto him, securely, and whisper words of little comfort in his ear as they rock back and forth steadily.
Outside of this private moment, the house is one of chaos.
Margaret, also still knelt down on the floor near Dom has sense enough to think they need to contact the police. “Elijah, can I have your phone to-”
“Yeah, yeah.” Elijah manages to somehow pry his phone quickly out of his jeans pocket and hand it to Margaret, whilst still holding onto Dom.
“Orli, don’t!” Sean’s voice makes Orlando jump and back away from Dom’s cell phone, which he’d just started to reach for.
“Bloody hell, I was just going to pick it up off the floor. I wasn’t going to do anything stupid!”
“I know, I’m just saying. The police said they’d be able to trace calls to Dom’s cell, so don’t do any-”
“How daft do you think I-”
“Orlando, calm down! I didn’t accuse you of doing anything.” Sean tries to keep some semblance of peace here.
Dom struggles away from Elijah to reach for the phone. “Don’t touch it! He might call back.”
Orlando and Sean look helplessly down at Dom, who’s cradling the phone in his hand as if it were water threatening to slip through his fingers and disappear. Elijah is sat next to him, staring at the phone in Dom’s hand, mesmerised, like it’s a ticking bomb.
“Detective McNamara and the FBI are on their way.” Margaret breaks the silence around Dom. “And yes, he said not to do anything to the phone.” She kneels in front of Dom and he looks at her, his eyes a mixture of disbelief and anguish. “Give me the phone, love. We’ll just put it here on the table for safe-keeping.” She stands and reaches her hand out for his. “Come on, Dominic. Come sit down on the sofa.”
With both Margaret and Elijah’s support, Dom manages to walk back to the sofa and sit down. Margaret sits on one side, rubbing his back in soothing, rhythmic circles, while Elijah sits so close to his other side, his knee digs painfully in Dom’s thigh.
Orlando and Sean sit across from sofa, all of them watching Dom as his breathing returns to normal and his tears slow.
“Can you tell me again what he said, Dom?” Margaret’s voice is gentle. She wants Dom to calm down yet at the same time she desperately wants to hear what her brother said. She hopes Dom will make more sense this time because he could scarcely speak in coherent sentences since he’d hung up his phone.
“Yeah, I can.” Dom absently runs a hand through his hair a few times before he continues. “Right – when I answered the phone he said, ‘Dom! Just listen to me, okay? Just listen. I don’t know’ and then that’s when I think he dropped the phone because it sounded like it hit the floor.”
“Is that all he said?” Sean asks.
“Yes, that’s all he said but that’s not all I heard.”
The others look at him with some surprise. Dom had only told them about the few sentences Billy had uttered.
“What else, Dommie?” Margaret urges him as he stares ahead, struggling to recall the smallest detail that may have escaped him.
“I heard the phone hit the floor and I heard a slap and then a scream. I think maybe someone hit him.”
Dom’s imagined Billy being hurt. Over and over in his head these thoughts torment and mock him. Sometimes he’s helpless to these images that seem to run on a continuous loop, threatening to make him cry out in agony. Other times he imagines Billy being saved – or saving Billy himself, to be more specific – but all of those were still just thoughts. Now he’s had to hear someone hit Billy and it’s too much, almost, when he can’t be there to fight for him. Dom feels his stomach turn but he breathes slowly so that he can continue.
This image seems to affect Margaret as well and her hand stops moving on Dom’s back. “Someone hit him?”
“Aye. I think so.” He looks into her green eyes, now bright with unshed tears. “But that wasn’t him who screamed, I don’t think.”
“Who was it?” Elijah asks anxiously.
“Lij, I don’t know who the hell it bloody was!” Dom takes a deep breath knowing if he doesn’t stop himself now he’s going to shake Elijah senseless, simply because he needs to hit someone. “Sorry. I don’t know who it was but I don’t think it was Bill because it sounded like a woman.”
“Are you sure?”
“Fuck, Elijah! I just said ‘I think’!”
Sean steps in before the scene can become more overcharged with emotions. “Orli, Lij – kitchen. We’ll make some coffee while we wait for the police to get here.” The three of them left silently, leaving Dom and Margaret alone.
“Dom-”
“I know, I know. I shouldn’t have yelled at him. I’m sorry.”
“No, you shouldn’t have. He’ll understand, but that’s not it. Dom, I’m worried for wee Billy.”
It’s Dom’s turn to comfort Margaret. He feels so selfish because she’s so giving and nurturing, just like Billy. Always thinking of Dom, always, always. Even when they’re in pain too, the need to soothe Dom’s pain always came first.
Now I’m going to take care of her, as Billy would care for her.
He takes her by the shoulders and turns her towards him. “Margaret, we’re going to find him. He’s alive and he’s fighting his way back to us. He just has to hold on a little longer.”
They embrace each other tightly, waiting.
*
“Lij, you were only trying to help. Dom just needs some understanding right now. Lay off with the twenty questions. The FBI will get all the information they need. We just need to be supportive.”
“Guys, this isn’t good,” Orli says, quietly. “If Billy was caught using the phone, trying to escape, don’t you think he might get a little more than just a slap?”
They don’t know how to answer Orli because, for the most part, both Sean and Elijah were each trying not to think of this. But he’s put it out there, in the open, to consider.
“Listen mates, I will fight like hell to bring Billy home and I’ll never stop as long as he’s out there. But between us three I think we need to prepare ourselves to be here for Dom and Margaret.”
Elijah knows what Orlando means but doesn’t want to admit it. “What the hell do you think we’ve been doing, Orli?”
“No, Lij. I mean really be here for them.”
Elijah just shakes his head, more to dissuade Orli’s meaning from invading his brain. It doesn’t work though and a horrible thought plagues him. Billy could be dying at this very moment. He could even be dead. He doesn’t say this aloud, but his face blanches and his eyes tell Sean exactly what the voices in his head are screaming.
It didn’t end with just a slap, did it, Sean?
Sean finally tears his gaze away from Elijah. “We will be, Orli. But don’t you dare say anything in front of Dom.”
“Say what in front of me?” Elijah and Orlando try to look nonchalant, and fail miserably as Dom enters the kitchen. Sean, meanwhile, busies himself with making coffee for everyone.
There’s a silence in the kitchen and Dom wonders what they were talking about, but chooses not to ask. “The police and everyone will be here any minute and I’m guessing this place will be complete chaos. Could I just talk to Lij for a second? Alone?”
Orlando squeezes Dom’s arm on his way out. Sean pulls Dom into a tight hug and says in his ear, “He’s going to be okay, Dommie,” before walking out.
“Thanks, mates,” Dom calls after them, before turning to Elijah.
“Dom, man, I’m sorry about before. I didn’t mean to attack you with questions.” He struggles to remain strong for Dom, but he wants to sink to the floor and cry. He wants Dom to leave so he doesn’t have to watch him.
“S’all right, mate. I know you love Bills and you want to know what happened as much as anyone. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”
“Sblomie, it’s okay, really. God, I don’t know what the fuck I would do in your shoes. You’re doing great.” His eyes finally fill with tears that spill over in a steady flow.
Dom walks over to Elijah and wipes his tears with the back of his hand. “I’ve been a complete nightmare. But you’ve stuck by me, Doodle. You’ve been here from day one and you’ve never let me go. I don’t know how you do it. Or why, after all the times I’ve yelled at you, pushed you away. All of you guys, you’ve been true brothers to me. Don’t think I don’t notice. I do.”
“We love you, Dom. We love Billy. Of course I’ll be here for you. I love you too much to let you go.”
Dom finally gathers him in his arms. “I love you too, Doodle.”
The sound of the doorbell fills the silence in the kitchen but they don’t pull apart. Dom holds onto him even tighter as Elijah says in a sob-filled voice, “Let’s go bring our Billy home.”
*
An hour later there are at least six FBI agents gathered around, talking to one another, making calls, and inspecting Dom’s phone. He hovers over them, to make sure that if it rings, he will hear it.
“Dominic?”
“Huh?”
“Dom, I just need to ask you a few more things. Stay focused, okay?”
Dom likes Detective McNamara more than the FBI agents. He’s a giant man, at least a foot taller than Dom, but he’s kind and gentle when he speaks. Though Dom suspects that were he on the wrong side of the law, Detective McNamara could take him down without blinking.
He paces back and forth, unable to sit still. “Sure. But I’ve told you everything. Billy didn’t get to tell me where he is, or even how he is. He didn’t have time.” His throat tightens as he remembers, vividly, the sound of the phone hitting the floor. Billy desperately wanted to tell him something. But he couldn’t.
“What about his voice, Dominic? Did he sound weak, or strong? Was he whispering or speaking loudly?”
Dom has to think as he replays the conversation in his head. “He was whispering loudly, if that makes sense. It sounded like he wanted to raise his voice, but probably couldn’t. He sounded so relieved that I answered. Didn’t sound weak – he sounded frantic.” Tears overwhelm him this time as he pictures Billy’s relief at hearing his voice and then – no, Dom cannot think of what Billy felt after they got cut off.
Dom walks back over to where the FBI agents are inspecting his phone. “Please, what’s going on? I thought you set up all of our phones so that if Bill called it could be traced and you could find him!”
The detective walks over to Dom and places a large hand gently on his shoulder. “Yes, Dominic, they’re working on that. They have to take the phone down to the station.”
“NO! What if he tries to ring me again?”
“They’ll be monitoring the calls, Dom. Don’t worry.”
“Right, well I’m going wherever that bloody phone goes then. I want to hear his voice if he calls. He’ll want to talk to me. Then I can ask him where he is so we can go there and I can kick the shite out of anyone that’s laid a finger on my Billy.”
Dom heads for the door, leaving Detective McNamara standing there, his eyebrows raised.
“Hold on, Dominic,” He calls, then turn to Margaret. “A few agents will stay at the house. Margaret, why don’t you stay in case Billy calls here.”
“Aye. Dom, you’ll phone us with any news?”
“Of course. I’ll ring Sean’s phone. You guys are staying, right?”
“Absolutely. We love you, Dom. We’ll be here when you get back,” Sean says.
“Not coming back without Billy, I promise.” Dom kisses Margaret swiftly and heads for the door. “Let’s go!” he calls.
Elijah turns to Detective McNamara. “You might need some back-up, Detective,” he nods towards the door. “Someone to protect you from Dom, I mean,” he says, seriously.
Detective McNamara looks faintly amused and winks at Elijah. “I think I can handle him.”
“No, man. I’m serious.” Elijah grabs his jacket and heads for the door to follow Dom.
“Oh boy,” Detective McNamara says, before heading off to catch up with them.
*
Outside, reporters wait to pounce on Dom with questions about Billy.
“Dom, is there any news about Billy’s whereabouts?”
“Why is the FBI here?”
“Where are you going, Dom? Why is Elijah with you?”
“Has Billy’s body been found?”
It’s only the last question that Dom hears. He turns to face the cameras. “Billy’s not dead!”
“Do you know that for a fact, Dom?”
“He’s not dead!” Dom repeats.
“Dom, get in the car, don’t say another goddamn word.” Detective McNamara shoves Dom and Elijah into the car and pulls away.
*
Jay switches off the TV, his face full of rage and betrayal. His words are so cold she can’t recognise the voice behind them.
“You tell me, how it is that he’s so sure that fucker downstairs isn’t dead.”
But April’s pleas are lost behind the large hand clamped tightly over rapidly swelling face. All she can do is shake her head and cry as Jay approaches her.
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Damn cliffhangers ;)
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Too good!!!
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Thanks for reading!
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