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fellowshippers2002-10-27 07:37 am
sobota.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2002-10-27 07:37 am
The Spice Boys- No Pairings, lots of fun!
Title: The Spice Boys
Author: Sabrina, xtremechica16@aol.com
Series: none
Part: 1/1
Pairing: None
Rating: PG-13 (TV-PG SDL)
Warning: Children 13 and under must be accompanied by an adult aged 14 or older.
Content: humour, some language, sexual innuendo
Spoilers: none
Disclaimer: You guessed it; it's fiction, baby.
Summary: Wherein the boys dress in drag and steal the show.
Notes: Written as a Hallowe'en gift for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
minerva_the_phf.
"What have we gotten ourselves into," PJ mumbled as he drove up to the gates to New Line Cinema's studio. He showed his security card and the gates opened.
"I don’t know," Viggo replied, "but it sounds like fun." PJ nodded and drove to a bunker sized warehouse. He got out of his Jeep and opened the gates. Viggo jumped out and walked inside.
The warehouse was lit along the top and sides with long fluorescent tubes, giving both Viggo and PJ the sickly washed out look of prisoners that hadn't had light in years. PJ pushed his glasses up his nose with the knuckle of his first finger. "Well, then, lets get to work."
---
"What have we gotten ourselves into," Dominic mumbled as he stared at the costume before him. A short, wet look leather tube dress that tied up both sides, black knee-length leather stiletto boots, fishnets, and a short black wig, shaped into a bob. "Do I have to do this again?"
Viggo nodded. "Come on, it'll be fun! Have you shaved your legs and pits, then?"
"I have." Dominic shucked off his shirt, showing Viggo his newly shaved arm-pits. "What sort of boxer pants am I wearing?"
Viggo snorted. "Not boxers, Dom. This." Viggo held up a black lace g-string.
"What?!? How'm I gonna fit me bits inside that?"
"Very carefully."
---
"Why am I doing this again," Elijah asked as he put on his water bra.
"For charity. It's all for the kids, Lij," PJ replied, helping Elijah pull the pastel pink lace baby doll dress over his head, straightening it out. Elijah stared into the full length mirror and frowned.
"Why do I have to wear a thong?"
"Come on Elijah; do you really want panty lines?"
Elijah let out a self-conscious giggle that sounded more like a babyish squeak. "No, not really." He grinned. "I swear, PJ, you can talk me into anything."
---
"Fuck no! I am NOT putting that shite on; not now, not ever! You can bugger off; I still ain't puttin' it on, Viggo!" Billy crossed his arms, indignant.
"Ah, come on, Billy. It's for charity."
"I'm a bleedin' Scot! What the fuck are you trying to pull, putting me in a British flag?"
Viggo frowned. "Come on. Just for one night, that's it. One time, then I'll let you burn it, hey?"
Billy sighed. "All right, then. One night." He grumbled as he put the water bra on, then the white lace thong, then the British flag tube dress, then the British flag platform shoes. "Happy, 'ay?"
"Very."
---
"I'm wearing pants, PJ! Why the fuck do I have to shave?" Sean sat on the arm of the couch, already in his bra and his white sleeveless shirt with 'Girl Power' written in bold blue letters across it.
"Well, damn, Sean, you don't want to feel sexy for just one night?"
"I don't see how shaving is going to make me feel sexy."
"Well, it'll be more authentic. Remember, we have to win this for charity."
"Well, you'd have to tie me down before you'd even THINK about shaving my leg hairs!"
So PJ tied him to a folding chair and proceeded to shave Sean's legs.
---
"Didn't Scary have a tongue ring or what," Orli asked as Viggo tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, waiting for the light to turn green.
"Yep."
"Does that mean I have to get a tongue ring?"
"Yep."
"So I have to get something permanently stapled through me tongue for just one night?"
"Yep."
"Fuck no! What am I going to use it for after the event?"
Viggo looked at Orlando and winked. "Whatever you want to use it on, Orli."
Orli blinked, then laughed. "Oh you mean for…?"
"Yep."
---
The boys walked into the small dressing room outside the venue of the charity event. Their chairs were labelled with their names and their 'characters' right under it. They sat in the chairs, and waited.
"How's your tongue doing," Sean asked Orli, who was sitting next to him.
"Fine, thanks," Orli slurred. "It didn't swell very much at all. They made you shave, 'ay?"
Sean nodded. "Hey, 'Lijah, you look pretty."
"Shut up."
"Hey, what about me," Dominic said. He pouted, and shifted in his seat.
"You look good enough to bump tummies with, eh," Billy replied. "Not that I wouldn't mind bumping tummies with you any other day."
Dom winked at Billy. "You'll get your chance."
The make up and hair stylists bustled into the dressing room. The hair stylist brushed their hair back and pulled a bit of hose over each of their heads. She picked up Orlando's wig, a large brown afro with a camouflage headband, which matched his outfit of a camouflage bra, a camouflage miniskirt, combat boots and a very large black belt with fishnet stockings. She pulled it on over his head, and made sure it fit.
The make up stylist put false lashes on him, lined his eyes in black eyeliner, and painted his lips a burgundy wine shade. Orli blinked into the mirror, and then stuck out his tongue. He gave the mirror a peace sign. "Peace, love and girl power, yeah!"
The hair stylist moved to Sean, picked up his wig (a brown ponytail), and put it on his head. Sean wore his sleeveless top, his blue track pants, and his tennis shoes. The makeup stylist just put false lashes and lip gloss on Sean. Sean winked at the mirror. "'Ello, I'm Sporty Spice. Girl Power, yeah!"
On Billy, the hair stylist put a red wig with blond highlites. Then the makeup artist went crazy, putting green eye shadow and pale pink lipstick on Billy.
"Fuck, Billy, you look good enough to eat," Orlando exclaimed.
"Thank you, but my name is Geri." The group laughed, and Billy grinned.
Elijah was next. Blond pigtails for him, and simple pink makeup. Elijah picked up a lollipop (no coincidence that it was cherry), unwrapped it, and stuck it in his mouth, swirling it around. Dom licked his lips and shifted; the g-string wasn't going to be able to hold his bits for much longer.
Finally, they got to Dom. The black bob wig, dark makeup. The hair stylist gave him a whip. "This is from Viggo."
"Thank you," Dom said softly. "But I'm too nice a girl to use this."
Elijah tried to hold back a laugh.
---
They stood backstage, huddled together. They piled their hands on top of each other. "Girl Power!"
"Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for our next category: Ensemble Costumes. Our first group is various members of the Fellowship of the Ring cast. Please give a round of applause to Orlando Bloom, Sean Bean, Billy Boyd, Elijah Wood, and Dominic Monaghan, better known as the Spice Boys!"
Spice Girls music blared through the speakers and the boys walked out. They lined up and winked and threw peace signs at the audience. The audience cheered and catcalled in return.
"Orlando Bloom is Scary Spice." Orlando walked up to the front of the stage, remembering to move slowly, catlike. He stuck his tongue out at the audience and did a slow twirl.
"Sean Bean is Sporty Spice." Sean did a handspring; he could hear his water bra slosh when he came back up. The catcalls got louder and Sean winked at the audience. He pointed at a face he knew: Viggo's, and blew a kiss at him.
"Billy Boyd is Ginger Spice." Billy walked up, flipped his hair over his shoulder, and cried out, "GIRL POWER ROCKS!" The audience got to their feet and cheered him on.
"Elijah Wood is Baby Spice." Elijah came up, still sucking on his lollipop. He twirled around, his dress flying up, giving the audience a sneak peek at his white lace thong. Viggo called out, "Yeah, Baby," and Elijah blew Viggo another kiss.
"And finally, Dominic Monaghan is Posh Spice." Dominic walked up to the front of the stage, but then stepped down, walked through the audience, and straddled Viggo. The audience went silent, but then Dominic wrapped the whip around Viggo's neck and kissed him. The audience started clapping and whistling wildly.
The Spice Boys had stolen the show.
Author: Sabrina, xtremechica16@aol.com
Series: none
Part: 1/1
Pairing: None
Rating: PG-13 (TV-PG SDL)
Warning: Children 13 and under must be accompanied by an adult aged 14 or older.
Content: humour, some language, sexual innuendo
Spoilers: none
Disclaimer: You guessed it; it's fiction, baby.
Summary: Wherein the boys dress in drag and steal the show.
Notes: Written as a Hallowe'en gift for
minerva_the_phf."What have we gotten ourselves into," PJ mumbled as he drove up to the gates to New Line Cinema's studio. He showed his security card and the gates opened.
"I don’t know," Viggo replied, "but it sounds like fun." PJ nodded and drove to a bunker sized warehouse. He got out of his Jeep and opened the gates. Viggo jumped out and walked inside.
The warehouse was lit along the top and sides with long fluorescent tubes, giving both Viggo and PJ the sickly washed out look of prisoners that hadn't had light in years. PJ pushed his glasses up his nose with the knuckle of his first finger. "Well, then, lets get to work."
---
"What have we gotten ourselves into," Dominic mumbled as he stared at the costume before him. A short, wet look leather tube dress that tied up both sides, black knee-length leather stiletto boots, fishnets, and a short black wig, shaped into a bob. "Do I have to do this again?"
Viggo nodded. "Come on, it'll be fun! Have you shaved your legs and pits, then?"
"I have." Dominic shucked off his shirt, showing Viggo his newly shaved arm-pits. "What sort of boxer pants am I wearing?"
Viggo snorted. "Not boxers, Dom. This." Viggo held up a black lace g-string.
"What?!? How'm I gonna fit me bits inside that?"
"Very carefully."
---
"Why am I doing this again," Elijah asked as he put on his water bra.
"For charity. It's all for the kids, Lij," PJ replied, helping Elijah pull the pastel pink lace baby doll dress over his head, straightening it out. Elijah stared into the full length mirror and frowned.
"Why do I have to wear a thong?"
"Come on Elijah; do you really want panty lines?"
Elijah let out a self-conscious giggle that sounded more like a babyish squeak. "No, not really." He grinned. "I swear, PJ, you can talk me into anything."
---
"Fuck no! I am NOT putting that shite on; not now, not ever! You can bugger off; I still ain't puttin' it on, Viggo!" Billy crossed his arms, indignant.
"Ah, come on, Billy. It's for charity."
"I'm a bleedin' Scot! What the fuck are you trying to pull, putting me in a British flag?"
Viggo frowned. "Come on. Just for one night, that's it. One time, then I'll let you burn it, hey?"
Billy sighed. "All right, then. One night." He grumbled as he put the water bra on, then the white lace thong, then the British flag tube dress, then the British flag platform shoes. "Happy, 'ay?"
"Very."
---
"I'm wearing pants, PJ! Why the fuck do I have to shave?" Sean sat on the arm of the couch, already in his bra and his white sleeveless shirt with 'Girl Power' written in bold blue letters across it.
"Well, damn, Sean, you don't want to feel sexy for just one night?"
"I don't see how shaving is going to make me feel sexy."
"Well, it'll be more authentic. Remember, we have to win this for charity."
"Well, you'd have to tie me down before you'd even THINK about shaving my leg hairs!"
So PJ tied him to a folding chair and proceeded to shave Sean's legs.
---
"Didn't Scary have a tongue ring or what," Orli asked as Viggo tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, waiting for the light to turn green.
"Yep."
"Does that mean I have to get a tongue ring?"
"Yep."
"So I have to get something permanently stapled through me tongue for just one night?"
"Yep."
"Fuck no! What am I going to use it for after the event?"
Viggo looked at Orlando and winked. "Whatever you want to use it on, Orli."
Orli blinked, then laughed. "Oh you mean for…?"
"Yep."
---
The boys walked into the small dressing room outside the venue of the charity event. Their chairs were labelled with their names and their 'characters' right under it. They sat in the chairs, and waited.
"How's your tongue doing," Sean asked Orli, who was sitting next to him.
"Fine, thanks," Orli slurred. "It didn't swell very much at all. They made you shave, 'ay?"
Sean nodded. "Hey, 'Lijah, you look pretty."
"Shut up."
"Hey, what about me," Dominic said. He pouted, and shifted in his seat.
"You look good enough to bump tummies with, eh," Billy replied. "Not that I wouldn't mind bumping tummies with you any other day."
Dom winked at Billy. "You'll get your chance."
The make up and hair stylists bustled into the dressing room. The hair stylist brushed their hair back and pulled a bit of hose over each of their heads. She picked up Orlando's wig, a large brown afro with a camouflage headband, which matched his outfit of a camouflage bra, a camouflage miniskirt, combat boots and a very large black belt with fishnet stockings. She pulled it on over his head, and made sure it fit.
The make up stylist put false lashes on him, lined his eyes in black eyeliner, and painted his lips a burgundy wine shade. Orli blinked into the mirror, and then stuck out his tongue. He gave the mirror a peace sign. "Peace, love and girl power, yeah!"
The hair stylist moved to Sean, picked up his wig (a brown ponytail), and put it on his head. Sean wore his sleeveless top, his blue track pants, and his tennis shoes. The makeup stylist just put false lashes and lip gloss on Sean. Sean winked at the mirror. "'Ello, I'm Sporty Spice. Girl Power, yeah!"
On Billy, the hair stylist put a red wig with blond highlites. Then the makeup artist went crazy, putting green eye shadow and pale pink lipstick on Billy.
"Fuck, Billy, you look good enough to eat," Orlando exclaimed.
"Thank you, but my name is Geri." The group laughed, and Billy grinned.
Elijah was next. Blond pigtails for him, and simple pink makeup. Elijah picked up a lollipop (no coincidence that it was cherry), unwrapped it, and stuck it in his mouth, swirling it around. Dom licked his lips and shifted; the g-string wasn't going to be able to hold his bits for much longer.
Finally, they got to Dom. The black bob wig, dark makeup. The hair stylist gave him a whip. "This is from Viggo."
"Thank you," Dom said softly. "But I'm too nice a girl to use this."
Elijah tried to hold back a laugh.
---
They stood backstage, huddled together. They piled their hands on top of each other. "Girl Power!"
"Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for our next category: Ensemble Costumes. Our first group is various members of the Fellowship of the Ring cast. Please give a round of applause to Orlando Bloom, Sean Bean, Billy Boyd, Elijah Wood, and Dominic Monaghan, better known as the Spice Boys!"
Spice Girls music blared through the speakers and the boys walked out. They lined up and winked and threw peace signs at the audience. The audience cheered and catcalled in return.
"Orlando Bloom is Scary Spice." Orlando walked up to the front of the stage, remembering to move slowly, catlike. He stuck his tongue out at the audience and did a slow twirl.
"Sean Bean is Sporty Spice." Sean did a handspring; he could hear his water bra slosh when he came back up. The catcalls got louder and Sean winked at the audience. He pointed at a face he knew: Viggo's, and blew a kiss at him.
"Billy Boyd is Ginger Spice." Billy walked up, flipped his hair over his shoulder, and cried out, "GIRL POWER ROCKS!" The audience got to their feet and cheered him on.
"Elijah Wood is Baby Spice." Elijah came up, still sucking on his lollipop. He twirled around, his dress flying up, giving the audience a sneak peek at his white lace thong. Viggo called out, "Yeah, Baby," and Elijah blew Viggo another kiss.
"And finally, Dominic Monaghan is Posh Spice." Dominic walked up to the front of the stage, but then stepped down, walked through the audience, and straddled Viggo. The audience went silent, but then Dominic wrapped the whip around Viggo's neck and kissed him. The audience started clapping and whistling wildly.
The Spice Boys had stolen the show.