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fellowshippers2002-09-23 06:46 pm
ex-thewayout304.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2002-09-23 06:46 pm
C&C Part 4
Title: Convolutions and Confusion
Author: "Elaine" (email: fido12@hotmail.com - AIM: DOMinateMePlz1)
Pairing: Dominic Monaghan / Elijah Wood
Rating: R
Parts: 4/?
Summary: Elijah doesn't want Dom to go, and Elijah always gets what he wants.
Warnings: evil!Elijah
Disclaimer: I don't know these boys. This all came from my head.
Contributors: Kristina for the beta. kdelioncourt and alfie for being British.
Author's Notes: This is not the end, however, the end is in sight. This fic still has two, maybe three parts left to it. We'll see what happens.
Parts 1-3 can be found at my webpage.
***
Dom was swimming in a sea of pretty faces, drowning in Elijah's essence. Not Elijah-now, but Elijah-then. New Zealand-Elijah, before the sweetness crusted over and became sour. He dreamed of the New Zealand bar, the New Zealand girl, the New Zealand nights. Elijah had changed his life with one word. That word had been "you". Or had he said "Dom"? Dom... Dom...
"Dom, wake up."
Don't open your eyes, Dom thought. Don't do it, don't open them, because then you'll have to face the present. The now.
"Elijah's gone, Dom. Wake up."
Dom's eyelids fluttered open against his will. Billy leaned over him, gently shaking his shoulders. The morning light drifted through the window and caught in Billy's hair, creating a halo effect. Oh, look. Billy's an angel. Save me. Dom sat up and blinked heavily, clearing the sleep from his eyes. "G'morning."
"How are you feeling?"
Dom frowned. "I don't even know who I am right now. Ask me again after I've had some coffee."
"Anything you want to talk about?", Billy prompted.
Dom stared blankly at Billy. "No, I don't think so. I need a shower. I feel..."
"I'll be in the kitchen making coffee, if you want to talk later", Billy interrupted. He rolled off the bed and made his way to leave. When he reached the door he said over his shoulder, "You may want to wash those sheets", then disappeared into the hallway.
Dom looked down at himself and noticed two things. He was naked, and there was a bloodstain on the sheet beneath him. Dom gripped the bedside table, knuckles white, as the events of the previous night came flooding back to him.
***
Dom stood silently, allowing the spray from the shower to massage his aching shoulders. He leaned back and allowed the falling droplets to wet his hair as his tears wet his cheeks. How did it ever go this far? How did I let this happen? Dom had never done anything but love Elijah. The sad thing was, Dom still loved Elijah. No matter what happened, no matter how far Elijah went, Dom would always love him. Therein lies the problem, Dom thought.
***
Billy busied himself in the kitchen while Dom showered. He opened random cabinets, trying to find the coffee filters. He suspected that today would be the day Dom opened up to him. Billy wasn't too sure what the consequences would be, but he did know that Dom needed a friend, someone on whom to purge the sour emotions that had been festering in his heart.
***
A mark on his hip caught Dom's eye as he was toweling off. He twisted around to get a better look in the mirror. Fingernails. Elijah did that to him. Elijah's roughness the night before had caused him to bleed in his sleep. Dom stared at the stain marring the yellow sheets of Elijah's bed, their bed. Billy knew; he had to know. Dom didn't know how, or why, but he thought he might take Billy up on his offer. He might talk to him over coffee. He couldn't live like this, but he wasn't capable of leaving, either.
***
Dom, now fully dressed, stepped cautiously out of the bedroom and walked down the hall to the kitchen. Billy looked up from his coffee as Dom entered the room, but said nothing. Dom sat at the table across from Billy, who poured Dom a cup.
"You want some milk?"
Dom thought of the skim milk sitting in the refrigerator. Elijah's skim milk. "No, thanks. I drink it black, like a man."
Billy raised an eyebrow in response. They sat in companionable silence for a while, sipping their coffee and listening to the FM radio that sat on the counter. Billy let Dom stew in his own thoughts for a while; when he wanted to talk, he'd talk. Billy wasn't going to force anything.
Dom stared into his empty coffee mug. He wanted to tell Billy everything, but he had no idea where to begin. "How much do you know?", he finally asked.
Billy sat down his own mug and looked Dom in the eyes. "All I know is that you're my friend, and I love you. Something is tormenting you, and you're not doing a very good job of hiding it."
"Do you remember the day Elijah and I came out to you guys?"
Billy laughed out loud. "Honestly, how could I ever forget?" Dom and Elijah had shocked them all once at a cast party by making out furiously on the couch. They had both been drunk, of course. "Not that any of us were very surprised."
Dom chuckled. "Elijah was so warm back then. He always acted so dirty, but he kept himself so clean. I remember coming back to the cabin from a hard day at work, and he'd be sitting there, smelling like soap. And, you know, this is really kinda sappy, but I remember he'd leave me flowers. If he had to work that day and I didn't, he'd leave flowers on the kitchen table for me. Then I'd go outside and notice a bare patch where he pulled them out of one of the hobbit gardens or something. Every night we'd... well, it was just heaven. New Zealand, that is. It was like a pocket of heaven."
"You're talking as though Elijah were dead."
Dom frowned, thinking about this. "It's almost like he is dead, as it were. The Elijah I just described... I haven't seen him for almost a year. He doesn't bring me flowers anymore. All he brings me is skim milk when what I really want is 2%." Dom looked down at his mug. "Hit me again. I think I'll have some cream this time." Dom watched the whiteness of the cream swirl in his cup, turning the black coffee to a lighter brown. "What time is it?"
"About noon. You've been asleep forever."
Dom hadn't even felt Elijah get out of the bed that morning to leave for work. He was glad he hadn't woken up. He didn't want to think about what might have happened if he had. Now that he thought about it, he didn't really think he wanted to be here when Elijah got home, either. "I'm afraid, Billy."
"Of what?", Billy feigned ignorance.
"I'm afraid of what will happen when Elijah gets home tonight. Of what he'll do. I think... I think he might make you leave. I don't know what I'll do all alone in this house."
"I won't leave you until you're ready for me to leave, Dom."
"But it's Elijah's apartment. You can't just stay here if he wants you to go."
"You're right. But I didn't say I'd stay here. I said I wouldn't leave you."
"I'm sorry... I don't follow you."
"Nothing says you have to stay in this apartment for the rest of your life."
Dom's eyes grew wide. "Oh, no. I couldn't leave. You don't understand..."
"Make me understand, then." Billy interrupted.
Dom spread his hands, palms up, on the table. "I still love him. I can't stop loving him, no matter what he does to me. I can't help thinking that this will pass. I've never loved anyone so intensely, Billy. And I'm afraid I'll never love someone like this again. How can I live knowing I left love behind?"
"How can you live knowing that the love of your life is manipulating your every thought, your every waking move? How can you live when he's controlling you like that?", Billy challenged.
Dom closed his eyes. He had no answer to give.
***
That evening, Dom sat alone in Elijah's bedroom, looking at the suitcases strewn about him. Trousers in that one, shirts in that one, shoes over there. Boxes and boxes of Dom's stuff were on the living room floor. He and Billy had spent the whole day packing things up. Dom opened a dresser drawer and began sorting through the socks stored inside. Black socks, blue socks, white socks, photographs. Wait... photographs? He pulled out the envelope and looked through the pictures. He had forgotten about these; they had been taken back in New Zealand, a million years ago. Dom and Elijah in hobbit costume. Dom and Elijah surfing. Dom and Elijah eating dinner. Dom and Elijah at a bar. Dom and Elijah at the infamous cast party, Dom's hand groping Elijah's arse. Dom and Elijah. Dom and Elijah. A single tear formed in the corner of Dom's eye. It grew pregnant with itself until it finally fell, sliding down his cheek to fall onto his shirt. It would be the last tear he would shed today, though many more would come in the following days, weeks, years.
Billy stuck his head in the room. "That should be the last of it. Are you ready to go? We need to be at the airport in two hours."
Dom tucked the envelope of pictures in one of the suitcases. "Almost. I have one more thing to do."
"Alright, mate. We still have plenty of time. I'll be in the living room." Billy left Dom to his thoughts.
Dom stared at the bedroom, the bedroom they had shared for so long, now devoid of his things. He walked over to the desk, pulled out a sheet of paper, and began to write.
Author: "Elaine" (email: fido12@hotmail.com - AIM: DOMinateMePlz1)
Pairing: Dominic Monaghan / Elijah Wood
Rating: R
Parts: 4/?
Summary: Elijah doesn't want Dom to go, and Elijah always gets what he wants.
Warnings: evil!Elijah
Disclaimer: I don't know these boys. This all came from my head.
Contributors: Kristina for the beta. kdelioncourt and alfie for being British.
Author's Notes: This is not the end, however, the end is in sight. This fic still has two, maybe three parts left to it. We'll see what happens.
Parts 1-3 can be found at my webpage.
***
Dom was swimming in a sea of pretty faces, drowning in Elijah's essence. Not Elijah-now, but Elijah-then. New Zealand-Elijah, before the sweetness crusted over and became sour. He dreamed of the New Zealand bar, the New Zealand girl, the New Zealand nights. Elijah had changed his life with one word. That word had been "you". Or had he said "Dom"? Dom... Dom...
"Dom, wake up."
Don't open your eyes, Dom thought. Don't do it, don't open them, because then you'll have to face the present. The now.
"Elijah's gone, Dom. Wake up."
Dom's eyelids fluttered open against his will. Billy leaned over him, gently shaking his shoulders. The morning light drifted through the window and caught in Billy's hair, creating a halo effect. Oh, look. Billy's an angel. Save me. Dom sat up and blinked heavily, clearing the sleep from his eyes. "G'morning."
"How are you feeling?"
Dom frowned. "I don't even know who I am right now. Ask me again after I've had some coffee."
"Anything you want to talk about?", Billy prompted.
Dom stared blankly at Billy. "No, I don't think so. I need a shower. I feel..."
"I'll be in the kitchen making coffee, if you want to talk later", Billy interrupted. He rolled off the bed and made his way to leave. When he reached the door he said over his shoulder, "You may want to wash those sheets", then disappeared into the hallway.
Dom looked down at himself and noticed two things. He was naked, and there was a bloodstain on the sheet beneath him. Dom gripped the bedside table, knuckles white, as the events of the previous night came flooding back to him.
***
Dom stood silently, allowing the spray from the shower to massage his aching shoulders. He leaned back and allowed the falling droplets to wet his hair as his tears wet his cheeks. How did it ever go this far? How did I let this happen? Dom had never done anything but love Elijah. The sad thing was, Dom still loved Elijah. No matter what happened, no matter how far Elijah went, Dom would always love him. Therein lies the problem, Dom thought.
***
Billy busied himself in the kitchen while Dom showered. He opened random cabinets, trying to find the coffee filters. He suspected that today would be the day Dom opened up to him. Billy wasn't too sure what the consequences would be, but he did know that Dom needed a friend, someone on whom to purge the sour emotions that had been festering in his heart.
***
A mark on his hip caught Dom's eye as he was toweling off. He twisted around to get a better look in the mirror. Fingernails. Elijah did that to him. Elijah's roughness the night before had caused him to bleed in his sleep. Dom stared at the stain marring the yellow sheets of Elijah's bed, their bed. Billy knew; he had to know. Dom didn't know how, or why, but he thought he might take Billy up on his offer. He might talk to him over coffee. He couldn't live like this, but he wasn't capable of leaving, either.
***
Dom, now fully dressed, stepped cautiously out of the bedroom and walked down the hall to the kitchen. Billy looked up from his coffee as Dom entered the room, but said nothing. Dom sat at the table across from Billy, who poured Dom a cup.
"You want some milk?"
Dom thought of the skim milk sitting in the refrigerator. Elijah's skim milk. "No, thanks. I drink it black, like a man."
Billy raised an eyebrow in response. They sat in companionable silence for a while, sipping their coffee and listening to the FM radio that sat on the counter. Billy let Dom stew in his own thoughts for a while; when he wanted to talk, he'd talk. Billy wasn't going to force anything.
Dom stared into his empty coffee mug. He wanted to tell Billy everything, but he had no idea where to begin. "How much do you know?", he finally asked.
Billy sat down his own mug and looked Dom in the eyes. "All I know is that you're my friend, and I love you. Something is tormenting you, and you're not doing a very good job of hiding it."
"Do you remember the day Elijah and I came out to you guys?"
Billy laughed out loud. "Honestly, how could I ever forget?" Dom and Elijah had shocked them all once at a cast party by making out furiously on the couch. They had both been drunk, of course. "Not that any of us were very surprised."
Dom chuckled. "Elijah was so warm back then. He always acted so dirty, but he kept himself so clean. I remember coming back to the cabin from a hard day at work, and he'd be sitting there, smelling like soap. And, you know, this is really kinda sappy, but I remember he'd leave me flowers. If he had to work that day and I didn't, he'd leave flowers on the kitchen table for me. Then I'd go outside and notice a bare patch where he pulled them out of one of the hobbit gardens or something. Every night we'd... well, it was just heaven. New Zealand, that is. It was like a pocket of heaven."
"You're talking as though Elijah were dead."
Dom frowned, thinking about this. "It's almost like he is dead, as it were. The Elijah I just described... I haven't seen him for almost a year. He doesn't bring me flowers anymore. All he brings me is skim milk when what I really want is 2%." Dom looked down at his mug. "Hit me again. I think I'll have some cream this time." Dom watched the whiteness of the cream swirl in his cup, turning the black coffee to a lighter brown. "What time is it?"
"About noon. You've been asleep forever."
Dom hadn't even felt Elijah get out of the bed that morning to leave for work. He was glad he hadn't woken up. He didn't want to think about what might have happened if he had. Now that he thought about it, he didn't really think he wanted to be here when Elijah got home, either. "I'm afraid, Billy."
"Of what?", Billy feigned ignorance.
"I'm afraid of what will happen when Elijah gets home tonight. Of what he'll do. I think... I think he might make you leave. I don't know what I'll do all alone in this house."
"I won't leave you until you're ready for me to leave, Dom."
"But it's Elijah's apartment. You can't just stay here if he wants you to go."
"You're right. But I didn't say I'd stay here. I said I wouldn't leave you."
"I'm sorry... I don't follow you."
"Nothing says you have to stay in this apartment for the rest of your life."
Dom's eyes grew wide. "Oh, no. I couldn't leave. You don't understand..."
"Make me understand, then." Billy interrupted.
Dom spread his hands, palms up, on the table. "I still love him. I can't stop loving him, no matter what he does to me. I can't help thinking that this will pass. I've never loved anyone so intensely, Billy. And I'm afraid I'll never love someone like this again. How can I live knowing I left love behind?"
"How can you live knowing that the love of your life is manipulating your every thought, your every waking move? How can you live when he's controlling you like that?", Billy challenged.
Dom closed his eyes. He had no answer to give.
***
That evening, Dom sat alone in Elijah's bedroom, looking at the suitcases strewn about him. Trousers in that one, shirts in that one, shoes over there. Boxes and boxes of Dom's stuff were on the living room floor. He and Billy had spent the whole day packing things up. Dom opened a dresser drawer and began sorting through the socks stored inside. Black socks, blue socks, white socks, photographs. Wait... photographs? He pulled out the envelope and looked through the pictures. He had forgotten about these; they had been taken back in New Zealand, a million years ago. Dom and Elijah in hobbit costume. Dom and Elijah surfing. Dom and Elijah eating dinner. Dom and Elijah at a bar. Dom and Elijah at the infamous cast party, Dom's hand groping Elijah's arse. Dom and Elijah. Dom and Elijah. A single tear formed in the corner of Dom's eye. It grew pregnant with itself until it finally fell, sliding down his cheek to fall onto his shirt. It would be the last tear he would shed today, though many more would come in the following days, weeks, years.
Billy stuck his head in the room. "That should be the last of it. Are you ready to go? We need to be at the airport in two hours."
Dom tucked the envelope of pictures in one of the suitcases. "Almost. I have one more thing to do."
"Alright, mate. We still have plenty of time. I'll be in the living room." Billy left Dom to his thoughts.
Dom stared at the bedroom, the bedroom they had shared for so long, now devoid of his things. He walked over to the desk, pulled out a sheet of paper, and began to write.