A Secret Revealed - BB/DM NC17

[thamadredhead.livejournal.com]

Title: "A Secret Revealed"
Author: thamadredhead
Pairing: Billy/Dom
Rating: NC-17
Archive: Sure! Please ask :)
Feedback: would be lovely!
Disclaimer: Not true, unfortunately
Note: Written for shirasade and the lotr_loveletter challenge.


The events of the evening were swimming in Dom’s cluttered mind, as he walked back to his apartment in the unwelcomingly cool New York air. He had to close his eyes, the throbbing in his head almost outweighing the stabbing in his heart. It would have been an ordinary week- non-descript like any other fading into the next- if it had not been Valentine’s Week. People could freely profess their passions without abandon, yet Dom’s was tucked away like a dark secret in a forbidden place, longing for understanding.

Dom opened his eyes as his mind searched in vain for pieces of happiness in this fucking hellish night- he could see Billy, smiling, the artificial sallow light from the pub’s overhead stain glass swags making him look almost ethereal. He was in “their” corner booth, in that one brown and tan vertical striped button down shirt that made him look delicious and his hair look even more golden. Faded Levis and tan boots completed the look. Dom always liked the way Billy played up all his best features with his clothing choices.

Dom had thought at first this would be an evening for just him and Billy- an evening full of intent and purpose for Dom. Everything should be declared, exclaimed- Dom did not care anymore. Dom had left a scattered message on Billy's machine earlier that day asking him to meet so they could mock Valentine’s Day together. They both spoke of its absurdity. How it was another holiday that Hallmark could cash in on and makes a killing. If only love professions were as easy as a greeting card sentiment.

“That fucking, bastard note.” Dom fumbled in his coat for a cigarette and a lighter as he walked.

The night kept replaying in his mind. His effort to hold back one elusive tear failed as it rolled from his eye, forming a path down his stubbly cheek. How could he have been such a fool?

::

Dom noticed the nervousness in his voice as he spoke into the phone receiver. He became aware that he had been scratching around with a permanent marker on a piece of red stationary that Elijah had left at his apartment with some friend of Hannah’s number scrawled in the upper right corner. The paper was obnoxious, red, glittery, with halos of hearts emblazon in the background. It was feminine, slick to the touch. Dom doodled over the number, curving the doodle into a “B.”

Dom hung up the phone and stared long at that B. He drew out the rest of that beautiful name onto the scarlet paper. Commitment was not absurd. The words came out effortlessly as he hurriedly wrote them:

Bills, It’s driving me crazy. I can’t think of anything but you-you’ve completely taken over my mind, my life, my every thought. My heart, too. Should I send this, or would it be better not to? I don’t know anymore. Except I love you. *that* way. Yours forever, I’m afraid, Dom

Dom was afraid. He knew that now was the time to see whether there was a place for him in Billy's heart beyond friendship. He reached for some scissors and trimmed up the edges of the paper until it formed some crude heart. Dom folded the paper precisely, put it into his green corduroy pant pocket and left to start his evening. The note empowered him, as if writing his feelings out on paper gave Dom the courage to say them aloud.

Dom pressed through the crowd towards the rounded leather booth, fingering the note in his pocket. He was so close now. Dom went to sit, and he felt like he had been slapped point blank. Nuzzled next to Billy was Orli, laughing. Orli kissed at Billy neck, up towards the spot that Dom caught himself gazing at when they all had to take those boring Entertainment Weekly photo shots.

“Dom, don’t be a stranger.” Orli patted a spot on the booth next to him. Dom could have sworn that Orli had lip gloss on- his lips were too glassy.

“Orli was just telling me..” Billy leaned in to Orli’s whispers, wrinkled his nose and laughed. “How much he fucking hates Valentine’s Day too.” Dom could see that Orli’s hand was on Billy’s leg-he could only imagine what or where it was going.

Dom could not believe this shit. Sure, everyone had their taste of Orli, he offered himself up like a cheap dime store whore with those pink sultry lips and those shining eyes. But he had thought Billy immune to this witchery. Billy was beyond that.

Dom’s face crinkled, he wanted Billy to read the thoughts upon his face. Dom’s intense gaze made him realize how Billy's eyes were so beautiful and strange at that moment. Billy went to speak and Dom knew that Billy understanding his feelings was a dream. Dom hated Orli staring, he hated Billy's puzzled look. He had to make them go away before he crumbled. He turned and pushed through the people. He heard Billy shout something, Orli’s voice too. But he could not do this now.

The bitter, acrid night air hit Dom like the invisible knife in his heart. He was running at first, running through the pain. It was so far to his apartment. He slowed and stopped in front of a store window proclaiming ‘Happy Valentine’s Day.’ Photos of Roses, cherubs, bears and heart candy were the backdrop. Various Valentine’s offerings were displayed. Dom was so angry with himself that he had allowed himself to get caught up in this malarkey. He walked on, walked the long lonely walk home.

Dom reached the main lobby of his apartment building and nodded at the doorman as he went inside. He passed one of those aluminum freestanding ash trays and stubbed out his cigarette. He pulled the shiny piece of paper from his pant pocket.

Unfolding it, he read the words one last time. He closed his eyes as if the words burned when he looked at them. Dom wanted to tear the paper into shreds. Instead, he placed it in the ashtray and turned towards the elevator. His heart, his words, left amongst the other rubbish- 'a fitting end', he thought. He pressed the ‘Up’ button and hit his left hand hard against the marble wall. The elevator door opened as a drop of blood landed nonchalantly on the discarded note.

The elevator released Dom to his floor and he fumbled with his keys to open the heavy, dark cherry wood door to his apartment. He shut the door behind him, placing his keys, wallet, and coat on the black marble hall table. His hand was bleeding from the encounter with the wall, but that pain was minor. He made his way into his bedroom, and removed his clothes so he could shower.

The scalding water hit Dom and caused him to jolt. He adjusted the temperature and thought about how he always wanted more. More pain, more sex, more head, more love. He never got enough. But the thing he wanted the most was time, time with Billy.

Dom lathered himself and thought about running. Why the fuck did he run from the one person he wanted to fight for? Was he always this impetuous? He put his wounded hand up against the shower wall, bending his neck to allow the water to flood his head, quiet his mind. The tears came again, but disappeared into the rushing water.

As the soap bubbles trailed off and down the shower drain, a pang of regret hit him. He wanted to shake it off, but it gnawed at him. He should have never let that note go. After a final rinse, he shut off the shower. Stepping around from the glass blocks, he grabbed a purple, fluffy towel and dried himself off hurriedly. Maybe there was still time to go and fetch it.

Dom was startled by a loud clamoring. He wrapped the towel around himself haphazardly and flung back his mottled wet hair. Walking down the hall towards the front door he realized someone must be there. Carelessly, he swung open the door. In the velum lit hallway stood Billy -his hair mussed from the night air and his face twisted in confusion.

“What’s with you, then?” Billy sounded annoyed, yet concerned. “Where were you going? Running off like that.” Dom always liked the way Billy's Scottish accent became over pronounced when he was borderline upset.

“I didn’t expect him to be there.” That thought had wanted to come out of Dom’s mouth the whole night. “You looked busy enough.” Dom let the last sentence come off cold.

“Are you jealous? Jealous you didn’t have Orli first?” Billy seemed to convince himself that was it, that was the case. “If it’s something else, tell me.”

“You’re a fucking genius. Fucking genius, William.” Dom could not take this anymore. He stepped back over the threshold of his apartment, and went to shut his door. Billy stopped him from fully closing the door, his hand eye level with Dom’s face.

“I don’t want him.” Billy's voice was hushed. His hand went to Dom’s face. It brushed away some droplets of water from his wet hair. “It was a distraction. I didn’t act..”

It seemed to Dom that Billy stared right into his exposed soul at that very moment. He leaned closer into Billy hand, and felt it guide him to Billy smooth face.

“I hate being like this.” Dom said into Billy's cheek. Billy smelled smoky, like the pub, yet there was some undercurrent of sweetness to him. He kissed Billy's cheek brazenly, and expected Billy to reject him.

Instead, Dom felt Billy turn to meet his lips. The kiss was tender and chaste at first, but then became more shameless. Billy was the first to use his tongue. They were pressed up against that wooden door, kissing with abandon. Dom ran his hand through Billy’s hair, almost tugging at it.

Billy broke the kiss first, smiling. He kept Dom pinned to the door, kissing all along his neck and up to his ear. Dom bit his lip mid-smile as Billy began to suck his earlobe tenderly. Billy then playfully bit the tip of his earlobe and nodded towards the inside of Dom’s apartment. He took Dom’s injured hand and led him inside, shutting the door and locking it behind him.

Dom and Billy went into Dom’s bedroom. Billy opened the shades to Dom’s amazing view of the New York Skyline. It caused a surreal azure glow to pierce the darkness. Dom was sitting on the bed as he watched Billy undress. Was this really happening?

Each piece of Billy's clothing dropped off as if it were a planned seduction. Billy was even more perfect than Dom imagined. Billy let Dom gaze at him, naked there in that blue ghostly light- and never in Dom’s fantasies did he imagine that Billy would be built so perfectly for him. That he would be so aroused by his kiss, so open to his love.

Billy moved towards Dom, standing so that his stiff cock was easily accessible. Dom placed his lips over the tip of his cockhead and pulled back and forth gingerly on the foreskin with his hand. He ran his tongue down into Billy hole, tasting the hint of precum as he probed. Dom’s specialty was sucking cock. He was quite an expert. He moved his head, circling the head of Billy's dick with his tongue, only to put his mouth back down onto the head and shaft.

Dom relaxed his throat and let Billy fuck his mouth and hand. Dom looked up at Billy and thought he was beautiful. Billy had this fantastic hard on, and it was all for him. Everything felt tight. Dom watched Billy's chest heave a little and his body shudder. Dom knew he was close. Dom wanted to watch him explode; to know that he was the cause of such intense pleasure was intoxicating. But Dom was greedy. He wanted that come inside of him, like a gift, a special treasure. So Dom did one of his tricks to make Billy go wild.

Dom maneuvered himself so he could take all of Billy in his mouth. When he did this action, coupled with the fact he had been stroking Billy's ever-tightening balls, Billy made this slight groan, coupled with hesitant words

“I can’t stop it.” Billy told Dom, preparing him. “I have to---“ And then it happened. Dom felt it in his mouth, in his throat. Its wet warmth filled his insides. He swallowed down every bit. He released him as Billy seemed both relieved and surprised to find that he was still standing.

Dom leaned back, pleased with himself. Billy shifted himself closer to Dom by getting on the bed, undoing the towel that was barely staying on. Billy crept on top of Dom, kissing him passionately.-their chests lightly grazing one another.

“My turn.” Billy said softly through a smile.

He went down Dom’s body, kissing and licking slowly. He paid special attention to Dom’s wounded hand, kissing it softly, deliberately- as if to say- I know you hurt for me. Your pain is not worthless. I hurt too.

Billy slid down the bed until he was at his planned destination. He kissed the insides of Dom’s thighs, sending shivers up and down Dom like a prickly electric current. He licked every now and then, in slow circles on Dom- making Dom’s legs part involuntarily. Billy's face was as smooth as Dom’s cotton sheets, not a hint of stubble.

Dom was enjoying the new sensation of having Billy's hands, mouth, and tongue on his body when Billy then turned his attention to his scrotum. His cock rose to attention as Billy's tongue flicked out and tasted Dom’s balls. Billy gave him quite the tongue lashing, which evolved into the best tea bagging Dom had ever received. Dom’s cock twitched with anticipation. Billy licked up Dom’s cock, and then finally took him in his mouth, sucking. Dom closed his eyes as Billy worked his dick, letting Dom rock back and forth in his mouth.

Billy looked up from his work, winked, and then said something that shocked Dom.

“Do you want to fuck me?”

“Are you sure?” Dom asked. Of course he wanted to fuck Billy.

“Yes, I want you inside of me.” Billy paused. “I want you to have me.”

Billy positioned himself comfortably as Dom went around behind him. This had to be the best Valentine’s Day present he'd ever been given. Dom made sure to prepare his dick by getting out some proper lubrication. Dom spread Billy ass cheeks and planted his cock firmly against Billy's ass. As his head penetrated Billy's hole, he felt Billy brace and wince. The fact that he was causing Billy pain gave Dom a slight thrill.

“Billy, you're real tough, baby.” Dom said comfortingly as he eased himself deeper and deeper inside. Dom’s hands caressed Billy's ass as he pushed forward, soon all of Dom was inside.

Dom ground his hips and began to pump with fervor. His thrusts were sadistic, and his balls made a loud slap with the culmination of each forward slam. Dom fucked Billy until Dom could hold back no more. His orgasm began at his center, like a hot fireball of combustion, increasing in dimensions until his come filled Billy's ass with a sizzling flood.

Billy just seemed to be sucking in more and more of Dom’s cock, drawing him in deeper, and he was writhing like a cat in heat, coming himself from the sheer force of Dom’s pleasure. Dom’s body was flushed and warm, and he was moaning so much it almost sounded like crying.

“Come to me, Dommie. Come to me.” Billy urged Dom through the longest climax of his life. Dom pulled out, offering the towel to Billy before collapsing beside him like a dishrag. Dom felt whole, complete.

Billy tidied himself and leaned on his elbow, looking at Dom.

“Better now?” Billy said as he moved into the crook of Dom’s arm.

“Yes. Except..” Dom pulled his Billy to him and flashed him a cheeky grin. “I need another blasted shower.” They laughed, the ceiling fan turning slightly overhead in the blue green haze of early morning. They had survived another Valentine’s Day. Another day of hypocrisy, which now had a special meaning. And one thing stood out in the darkness, a piece of light shed on it briefly, causing the crimson shimmer to illuminate. It was peeking out of Billy's shirt pocket. Words unsaid, realized. A heart shaped offering not lost in the rubbish.