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[bellichka.livejournal.com]

All right, intro - Bethany, college student, and I'm kinda new to lotrips (t00bed over here from the Harry Potter fandom), but I thought I'd post this anyway. Any and all feedback is appreciated... just please be gentle. And I'm all about making new friends, so feel free to friend me. Thanks!

title: Do
pairing: Craig Parker/Orlando Bloom
raiting: This part is pretty G.
archive: resurrection and anywhere else just let me know.
Disclaimer: Never happened... unfortunately :(
A/N: Written because I have fallen in love with Craig/Orli. First part in the "Sound of Music" series. Thanks to tcregan and heather_nicole <3

Craig Parker never cared much for singing. Oh he listened to music, of course – him and every other person on the planet. And he adored it, he really did. But it was the singing that really got to him. It was common knowledge on-set that Craig. Simply. Did. Not. Sing.

It was assumed, of course, that essentially the entire cast could sing, as most came from a theatre background, as Craig had; Viggo Mortensen could sing. Billy Boyd had a lovely baritone. Even Elijah and Dom could carry a tune (one often performed together). But somehow Craig had wormed his way out of singing, all throughout his career – save for that one little stint when he was in grade school that nobody, nobody would ever find out about. Because Craig Parker just didn’t sing.

His mates in the cast hadn’t believed him, of course. Viggo had laughed in his face. Dom even went as far as to put him on the spot during a film break, the frigging arsehole. All it took was a rousing rendition of ‘I Will Survive’ to turn them all into believers. The next morning he found a box of earplugs in his makeup chair with a note – we expect these in our stocking this Christmas. Who the hell did they think they were? He had warned them.

Craig. Parker. Simply. Did. Not. Sing.

Which made it all the more strange that Orlando Bloom approached him one day asking him to do exactly that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Thinking?”

Viggo Mortensen looked down at his young costar, who made no motion to reply. The two of them were relaxing in their joint trailer, which Sean Bean had just vacated the day before, after a night of filming on the Helm’s Deep set. The sun was just starting to rise, sending in beams of pink and purple that neither seemed to notice.

Viggo tried again. “Orlando? What are you thinking about?”

Orlando turned a page in his book. Viggo sighed. “Orli, I know you’re not really reading that.” A pause. “Orlando, Craig’s outside the door, he wants to know if you want to come out and play.”

Orlando’s eyes shot up to meet Viggo’s. “You lie.”

Viggo chuckled. “I do, Mr. Bloom, but it got your attention didn’t it?”

Orlando pretended not to notice. “I’m sorry, did you say something? I was rather engrossed in my book and –“

“You were rather engrossed in daydreaming, is what,” Viggo retorted cheekily. “Are you going to tell me what gives or am I going to have to pry it out of you like last time?”

Orlando looked at him, cocking his head slightly sideways. “But last time you sat on me and tied my hands behind my back. That was hardly prying fairly.”

“You said uncle, didn’t you?”

“In four different languages!”

“You’re getting quite good at that aboriginal dialect.”

“You taught it to me just so I could speak it back to you!” Orlando sputtered indignantly, setting down his book.

Viggo smiled. “Yeah, that was fun. Anyway, if it’s not prying too much…”

“I was just thinking,” Orlando replied quickly, attempting to end the conversation by returning to his book. “That’s all.”

His roommate sat down next to him, placing his head on Orli’s shoulder. “About?”

“Nothing,” he replied shortly, eyes still fixated on the novel in front of him.

Viggo grinned. He took Orlando’s book, flipping it so that the writing was now right-side up. “Is ‘nothing’ five-foot ten, a hundred and eighty pounds with beautiful blue eyes and an Auckland accent?”

Orlando slammed his book shut once again, burying his face in his hands. “Shit,” he mumbled. “How the hell did you know.”

“Your reactions always give it away,” Viggo admitted. “But I’ve seen how you look at him. You like him. Admit it, elf boy.”

A few moments. “It doesn’t matter,” Orlando mumbled, getting up to make tea. “Just forget I said anything. Tea?”

“Sure,” Viggo replied automatically. “So tell me why it doesn’t matter?”

“He’s already in a relationship,” Orlando explained, starting the kettle.

“Ended about three weeks ago.”

Orlando paused. “He’s too old for me.”

“Only six years older.”

Another pause. “I don’t like blokes.”

“I’d double-check that one if I were you. Orli you can’t go around making excuses.”

“I’m not making excuses.”

“Then what are you doing?”

“I’m… finding reasons that Craig would never go out with me.”

“Sounds an awful lot like ‘excuses’ to me.”

“Okay, so what if it does?” Orlando snapped as he took the steaming water off the stove, filling two mugs. “We’re friends. You just don’t randomly ask your friends on dates.”

“I did,” Viggo replied simply, taking his mug and sitting down at the kitchen table. “In high school, in Watertown. There was this girl. Rachael Dalton. And she and I were best friends since we were born – we were neighbors when we were younger, and then we were still friends when I moved back. I was with her constantly – we were always spending time together, going to the movies, causing trouble – just fun, friendly stuff. Well one day we were watching a movie, and she just up and kissed me. At first I was kind of miffed, because I generally didn’t make out with my friends, but then it sort of all hit me. She was perfect for me. Pretty girl, liked the same things as me, nice to small animals and elderly people. So I asked her out.”

Orlando sat down across from him. “And what happened?”

“We dated my entire Junior and Senior year. And it was the best thing that could’ve happened to me.”

“I still don’t think he’d say yes,” Orlando pouted.

Viggo just shrugged his shoulders. “Worst that could happen is that he ends filming in a month and you never see each other again. Listen, if you’re so worried about him saying no, ask him to do something that he’d never do. If he’s interested, he’ll say yes just to spend time with you. If he considers his personal happiness more important than being with you, you don’t want that kind of guy anyway.”

Orlando sighed. “Well what should I ask him to do?”

Viggo sipped his tea, smiling conspiratorially, and leaned in. “Well word on the street has it that Craig Parker hates to sing.”

“You want me to ask him to come over to my place and sing showtunes?” Orlando asked with a chuckle. “Really, Vig, I hardly think that anybody would say yes to –“

“I also happen to know that a few hobbits, men, and an elf or two are going to the karaoke bar Friday night.” Another sip. “I doubt your Mister Parker could say no to an invitation like that.”

Orlando grinned. “All right, I’ll go ask him.” He stood up, turning to Viggo. “And if he says no…”

“He won’t!”

“But if he does…” Orlando’s eyes narrowed. “It’s your arse.”

“I know, I know, Elf boy,” Viggo responded with one of his reassuring grins. “But he won’t say no. I have faith in you.”

“That makes one of us…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Orlando stood outside Craig’s trailer, hands in his pockets, attempting to clear his mind. He normally didn’t have any problem asking girls out, but this was different. This was a bloke. And not just any bloke – Craig Parker. He was in a category of his own. Nobody Orlando had ever met before could make his stomach flutter with the scrunch of their nose. Nobody Orlando had ever met before could send his senses reeling with the verbalization of a word.

Orlando began pacing. Nobody he’d ever met before could make him question twenty-three years of heterosexuality. Now that took talent.

He started weighing the advantages to dating Craig. He was perfect, that much was obvious. But he was also sweet and loving, and Orlando hadn’t felt loved in quite awhile. He had the hobbits, of course, and Viggo and Sean… but it wasn’t the same. Your friends didn’t come up to you and give you hugs for no reason, simply because they love you. They didn’t make you your favorite dinner just because you happened to mention that you liked it. And they certainly didn’t come up to you after a night of filming in the rain, with your hair dripping, your makeup running, and the sniffles starting, just to tell you that you looked beautiful.

It was that especially that Orlando missed most of all.

“If we date,” he contemplated aloud as he paced, “it could make things awkward. On the other hand it could make things good. Half the cast is already gay anyways; nobody would have a problem with it. Of course, the comments would come about ‘Elf love’ and ‘What are they putting in the water in Lorien?’ But I think I could put up with that. Hell, I’d put up with anything if it meant being with Craig…”

And it was at that inopportune moment that the door to Craig’s trailer opened.

Peter Jackson emerged from the door, still facing what was presumably Craig. “So yeah, if you could just add that slight bit to when Aragorn and Haldir meet again, that would be splendid.”

Craig soon followed out the entry. “It makes sense, considering the relationship the two have in Fellow –“ He stopped mid-sentence, looking down at the mohawked elf that was at the base of the stairs pacing and muttering to himself. “Hello, Orli.”

Orland was startled. “Heh, er, hi, Craig. I was just, um, waiting for you to get done with… whatever it is you were doing. Yeah.”

Peter Jackson snickered. “Well then, I’ll just be off.”

“Yeah, bye Peter,” Craig replied. He turned his attentions to Orlando. “Hey, Orli, what’s up?” He gestured for Orlando to walk in, and he did.

Craig’s trailer was nothing like his and Viggo’s. Whereas theirs lacked any sort of refined taste, Craig’s was all about that. It appeared he had the entire trailer gutted and redesigned to his specifications – chrome kitchen, mission-style furniture, Italian leather sofas, big-screen television. Craig didn’t just have a bachelor pad – he had the bachelor pad. Orlando could get used to this… oh yes he could.

“Um, nothing much, just stopped by to say hi.”

Craig’s eyes narrowed. “You were pacing in front of my trailer just because you were going to say hello?”

Orlando sat down on the sofa. “Umm, yeah. Maybe. Yes. No. I don’t know…”

Craig sat down next to him. “Orli what’s wrong?”

Orlando sighed. “Some of the guys are going to the karaoke club Friday night, and I was wondering if you wanted to come along with us.”

“Me? Going to a karaoke club? Ha!”

Orlando fidgeted nervously in his seat. “Why is that funny?”

Craig laughed again. “Were you not there the one day Dom made me sing?”

Orlando shook his head, relaxing into the leather. “No, I must have missed it. Why, what happened?”

“Let me refresh your memory.” Craig cleared his throat. “First I was afraid, I was petrified…” Craig’s terrible tenor filled the room. “Kept thinkin’ I could never live without you by my side. Then I spent so many nights just thinking how you did me wrong and I grew strong, I learned how to get along…”

Orlando’s eyes widened. “That was you?!” Craig nodded. “I had no idea… I thought that was an extra or something… or maybe just somebody’s idea of a joke… I had no idea…”

Craig stood up. “So you see why I can’t go with you now. Drink?”

“No thanks,” Orlando replied automatically while Craig poured himself a smoothie. “But just because you can’t sing it doesn’t mean you can’t go… I mean, look at Sean. The little hobbit can’t carry a tune. And he has a terrible falsetto. But it doesn’t stop him from singing.” He approached Craig. “It’s about the spirit of singing. And that is a beautiful thing.” Craig raised his eyebrows. “Plus, it would mean an awful lot to me if you came out with us. Just this once. It’s never the same without you.”

Craig cocked his head and sighed. “All right, Shakespeare, I’ll go with you.”

Orlando smiled. “That makes me happy.”

Craig chuckled. “I didn’t do it to make you happy, I did it to keep you from spouting any more of that inane babble.” Orlando looked hurt. “Well, and because I enjoy spending time with my favorite Elf,” Craig teased as he pinched Orland’s cheek. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get some sleep before my call at six. But we’ll talk later about Friday night.”

“Okay,” Orlando answered excitedly. “I’ll see you later,” he said as he walked out the door.

“See you tonight. Oh – and Orli?” He turned to face Craig. “If I ever catch you pacing in front of my door again…” Orlando looked affronted. “Just come on in. No sense in you waiting outside.”

Orlando smiled, grabbing Craig’s face and bumping their heads together. “I’ll remember that. See you tonight.”

“Bye,” Orlando repeated with a grin, and walked along to his own trailer. He had a date with Craig! It would be wonderful, it would be fun, it would be everything he ever hoped for…

Orlando stopped in his tracks. He had a date… with Craig. Like a real date. With Craig. A bloke. Craig. Him and Craig. Craig and him. A date.

“Oh my God.”

He raced back to tell Viggo.