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fellowshippers2004-01-03 12:06 am
ex-pushingme430.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2004-01-03 12:06 am
Smiling Eyes of Shame (1/1) Implied ?/?, NC-17, DarkFic
Title: Smiling Eyes of Shame
Author: Marlen (lapdancerdom@monaboyd.net)
Pairing: Implied ?/? (don't make me give it away)
Rating: NC-17 DarkFic (rape implications, don't read it you don't like it)
Summary: Billy hides a guilty secret as the eyewitness.
Website: Heartshaped (yup, my fic is finally going online!! Slowly being updated!)
Disclaimer: T'is fiction, yah?
This is something that’s been playing on my mind for a little while. Was actually something that was going to play a part in the seeming neverending fic of mine, Intuition. But it hasn’t, it never would have fitted (probably because Intuition is an AU? Hmm, hha) but still, some sort of fic in it’s own right. Kind of dark, kind of creepy, kind of... weird. Kind of all over the place.
Smiling eyes of Shame.
The morning after is supposed to be pain free, hassle free and the time when people start to get back to normality. When Billy blinked awake, he rolled onto his back and pressed his fists into his sockets, twisting away contorted images, grimacing to the depths of his stomach. Rolling back onto his side didn’t help. Across the hotel room from him was an empty bed. Covers twisted and all but dragged onto the floor. The room stank of sex. Blatant and repulsive.
He got up, slipping into the bathroom for a quick shower, smothering himself with aftershave and hoping the stench wouldn’t play tag with him for the rest of the day. When he left the bathroom, he tossed his night clothes onto his bed from the doorway. He left before the smell could follow.
The first sign that the day would be strange was when he arrived at Elijah and Sean’s room for breakfast, Elijah was eyeing him strangely. Billy shrugged wordlessly, snatching toast off of the tray and perching himself on Sean’s bed. The premiere party had been crazy. They all looked as though they could sleep for a few hundred years; but Elijah was alert, his eyes wide with worry as he fought his way across the room to Billy’s side, trying to appear nonchalant.
“Billy. Something’s wrong.”
“I know,” Billy sighed, rubbing a hand across his eyes. “I’ll deal with it.”
“I don’t think you can. Orlando said…”
“Sshh, Elijah. Enough. I’ll deal with it.”
Elijah bit his lip like a chided schoolchild and stared into his cooling cup of coffee.
“I saw Dominic this morning. He left before everyone else…”
“Elijah, please. I’ll deal with it.”
“Viggo…”
“Elijah!”
Billy didn’t mean to get angry. But Sean and Orlando turned to look at him, surprised and almost amused.
“Got out the wrong side of the bed this morning, Billy?” Orlando quirked, standing between the beds and eating from a bowl of cereal. Milk was dribbling down his chin. Billy stared.
Orlando’s eyes were wild and feral like a cat when Billy saw them, his hands clutching in a vice grip as he bucked wildly on the bed, sweat shining his skin like wet paint as his head was thrown back. Billy heard him let out a guttural moan, biting his lip until the blood dribbled down his chin. “Fuck it, fucking hell I can’t stop…”
“Fine thank you Orlando. It’s a wonder I got up at all, considering.”
Orlando just stared back at him. “Seen Dom?”
“No Orlando, I have not seen Dom. I am on the other hand, trying to have breakfast.”
Elijah got up from beside him, putting his cup down rather noisily and leaving the room. Billy cursed under his breath. Everything was going wrong.
Press junkets were going on for the rest of the day. Billy was paired with Dominic which came as no surprise, and after greeting his best friend for the first time that day at exactly ten minutes past twelve, he frowned and wondered exactly how he should speak to him.
“Dom, we should talk.”
“Best forgotten, Pippin dearest,” Dominic beamed, not looking at him and twisting the ring on his thumb. He looked up, forcing a smile that hit Billy in the heart. “At least, not right now.”
The interviewer arrived and Billy sat back in his seat, trying to look comfortable and pretending that the world was beautiful once again, allowing Dominic to flirt with him in the way the press lapped up like puppies to their adoring mother. It was almost naively insatiable.
“Something isn’t right,” Viggo mused gently that evening to Billy, as they occupied three tables of the hotel restaurant for dinner.
Billy was watching Dominic.
From across the room, two painfully desperate eyes sought out his own. Lying almost flat on his side, head pushed against the pillow, until the body rolled onto it’s stomach, face turned to the side, never breaking Billy’s gaze. Billy could have reached out to that body, tried to soothe the pain in those eyes. Something wasn’t right. The eyes flinched. Blinking slowly before reopening, rivulets of tears breaking the barrier and beginning to fall. “Dom?” Billy had whispered, before realising it couldn’t truly be real. It just couldn’t.
“I’ll deal with it,” Billy muttered, sipping his wine and leaving Viggo standing by the desert table. He crossed the room to Elijah, bending to speak into his ear softly.
“We need to talk.”
Elijah followed him like a lamb to the desert table, now vacated by Viggo who was sitting deep in conversation with Sean Bean. How quickly the pair could absorb themselves into it, Billy considered for a second.
“I’m worried, Billy,” Elijah whispered, eyes even wider than before and eyebrows meeting in the middle. “I have this horrible feeling that something bad is going to happen.”
“Something bad already happened,” Billy warned, watching Elijah carefully. “I just can’t remember all of it. I just know it wasn’t good.”
Later that night, Billy found Dominic by the fridge in their hotel room, draining the small bottles of vodka and sitting beside an empty six pack of Jack Daniels.
“Oh, Dom,” Billy sighed, patting his friend on the head before going back to gently stroke the tousled hair away from his friend’s sweating face. “Go to bed. You’re wasted.”
“Not sleeping. In that,” Dominic hissed, jerking his thumb to the bed. Covers twisted and falling on the floor. Billy quirked his nose. The room stank of sex. Still.
“We’ll get another room,” Billy offered, reaching a hand down with the intention of helping Dominic to his feet. Dominic stiffened.
“I don’t want to sleep. I just want to finish this drink.”
Billy frowned. “Looks like you might have said that a few drinks ago.”
No proper response, just a strange hissing sound from between Dominic’s teeth.
Billy blinked, moonlight reflecting off of skin barely a reach away from him. The floor was moving. The bed was shaking. There was a thud once every two seconds seconds. The headboard was slamming against the wall. After each thud was a strangled hiss. Then a barely contained sob. Billy blinked again, tears just prickling his vision. Those eyes would probably haunt him for the rest of his life. Staring into his own. Pleading. Before lips parted and the shout made Billy jump, until he rolled over and away and pressed his hands against his ears. Didn’t want to hear. Didn’t want to know. “Billy!”
Billy managed to get Dominic to Elijah and Sean’s room, dropping him onto Elijah’s bed. Elijah stared, hands on his hips, first at Billy and then at Dominic’s groaning figure on the bed, slowly curling up against his pillow.
“Now what?”
Good question, Billy pondered silently, staring at Sean. Sean held up his hands. “I don’t want to know, Billy. I really don’t.”
“Lucky for some,” Billy muttered, turning on his heel and leaving. He bumped into Orlando outside in the corridor. Orlando, who smelt of both cheap beer and expensive cognac and was probably buzzing from a night on the dance floor. Who was wearing a shockingly bright purple shirt.
“Billy.”
Billy shuddered.
“Orlando. Fuck you.”
Because he could remember something.
“Billy.” Billy turned his head, his hands still clamped upon his ears to see the arching figure on the bed, panting and gasping for breath, pupils wide and dilated with lust, radiating heat and desire… Billy shook his head, whimpering gently as the breathing, gasping animal spoke. “Billy, hold him.”
Billy’s hand formed a fist before he knew it, slamming it into the side of Orlando’s skull. He was retreating into the room before he knew it, receiving quizzical looks from Sean and surprised exclamations from Elijah who was trying to get past to help Orlando, who’s eye was bruising rapidly and who had slumped against one wall… Billy held Elijah, shut the door with his foot and pushed him away towards the bed. Elijah fell onto the bed, sitting on Dominic’s legs. “Billy. You’re insane!”
Billy could see he was screaming; his mouth open and hands fisting into sheets. Tugged to lie on his back, neck arching and head leaning back and away until Billy could almost feel the bones snapping. Silent screaming at the ceiling. Not a sound. Billy sobbed into his pillow. Paralysed and couldn’t move. Because all he could see was the pumping and the possessing of the figure. The figure that was gasping for breath. Grunting at the same ceiling. Possessing and bruising. The stench of alcohol and sex. Billy’s hand shook before his eyes and he realised his hands weren’t cupping his ears anymore. But the room was silent now. “This is insane,” came the whisper and Billy blinked as Orlando jumped off the bed, grabbing his clothes and slamming the door on his way out. Leaving Dominic and Billy, lying in the darkness, watching eachother. Not a sound. Just the sound of their breathing in the room. The smell of sex. And Billy’s whimpers. And Dominic’s sobbing.
“Don’t you fucking dare go out to him,” Billy cursed, moving a chest of drawers with one attempt to block the door. “Just you fucking dare, Elijah.”
Dominic had woken up on the bed and was futilely trying to kick Elijah off of his feet. Elijah was merely grappling with him, trying to hold him down. Billy blinked at them. He realised Dominic had been screaming for so long now he hadn’t begun to notice. Sean was snatching up his phone, dialling numbers with fumbling fingers and thumbs as Elijah was looking at Billy over his shoulder. And Billy was looking at Dominic, who was staring back at him. Eyes wide. Frightened.
“Don’t speak a word of this,” Dominic had whispered, kicking the covers off of the bed and barely bothering to cover his naked body for Billy. “Don’t speak a fucking word.” Billy had bitten his lip, clenching his eyes shut against the smell. He didn’t sleep. But he didn’t open them again until morning when he knew Dominic had finished crying and was gone. Leaving the disgust behind, wanting to shut it out just like Billy couldn’t.
“It was never meant to happen.” Orlando had whispered earlier that day at breakfast, standing between the beds with a bowl of cereal. Elijah had frowned, waiting for Billy to come in. “We were drunk. I’m afraid that I did something terrible. I don’t know how to make it right, Lighe. I really don’t know if I can.”
Confused, Elijah gazed into space, only refocusing when Billy entered the room. Orlando had turned to look at Billy as well. Took in the dark circles under his eyes and felt his insides turn to dust. Tried cracking a joke. Billy didn’t take. Then Orlando knew this was it.
“I used to trust him,” Dominic had said, once Elijah had stopped pushing him down and Billy was cradling his own head in his hands, completely abandoned of what to do next. “He was my favourite drinking buddy. He could go on all night.”
Billy looked away, watching Sean toss and catch his phone in the air for want of something to say. Billy couldn’t look at Dominic.
“But not now,” Billy whispered to the walls.
“This isn’t good,” Viggo mused to Sean Bean after leaving the desert table. “Something terrible is happening and everyone is pretending it hasn’t. It’s just second guessing around the flames, Sean. Orlando has a lot to answer for.”
Sean sipped his wine. “He never could handle his drink. It wouldn’t surprise me if he became an animal when the moon was up.” Viggo set down his glass. “That, my friend, is what I’m afraid of.”
It had been a quiet night. Billy had been asleep when the door had opened, and the first thing he knew was that whoever it was, was drunk. A chill crept into his bones and he pretended to be asleep. Didn’t move. Hardly dared to breathe. But it didn’t take long before he knew he and his roommate weren’t alone. “You’re drunk,” was the whisper he heard before he remembered seeing Dominic’s eyes before him. Before he froze and realised he couldn’t move. Before he watched Orlando possess Dominic completely. Before Billy realised he was ashamed. Ashamed because he couldn’t move to save Dom. Because he was afraid.
Dominic had shrugged days later, when Orlando had excused himself from the functions and caught the next flight home to England. His official statement read he was ‘unfortunately unwell’.
“Shit happens.”
Billy’s chest swelled. “I could have done something.”
“We’d all had too much to drink.”
Billy bit his lip. “What of us all now?”
Again, Dominic shrugged, forcing a smile for a nearby camera. “We do what we always do. Smile. It’s all we ever have to do, Billy.”
The red carpet was full and Billy glanced towards Elijah who was giggling delightfully with Sean. Andy was jumping up behind them, screeching Gollum noises into their ears to impress the reporters who were flocking around them.
Billy felt Dominic’s arm creep around his neck. Dominic directed them towards a group of cameramen, before leaning close to Billy’s ear.
“Smile for the camera, Billy.”
Billy swallowed harshly, drawing his lips into a smile and cringing when Dominic laughed falsely beside him, amused at a remark from a reporter about being pleased Return of the King was the last one. Billy crumbled inside.
“Nothing is ever going to be alright, is it Dom?” he whispered out of the corner of his mouth. Dominic didn’t answer, merely hugged Billy tighter and turned to look at him. Billy looked back; they were insanely close, noses almost touching. Flashes around them; the press were loving it and Billy wasn’t aware. Only that Dominic looked so sad.
“Smile. For the camera,” Dominic said softly. And Billy nodded.
Billy had half smiled; anything to break the silence. Dominic's lips had opened before he whispered, "Billy. Help me." Lying in the dark, stunned and alone, looking into eachother's eyes and knowing this was something big. Something unforgivable. Something that would be between them forever.
As they pulled apart and plastered goofy smiles onto their faces, Billy cringed as he realised that his lips could form what they wished, and his eyes could sing in any picture but no lens filter could ever mistake the smiling eyes of shame.
Author: Marlen (lapdancerdom@monaboyd.net)
Pairing: Implied ?/? (don't make me give it away)
Rating: NC-17 DarkFic (rape implications, don't read it you don't like it)
Summary: Billy hides a guilty secret as the eyewitness.
Website: Heartshaped (yup, my fic is finally going online!! Slowly being updated!)
Disclaimer: T'is fiction, yah?
This is something that’s been playing on my mind for a little while. Was actually something that was going to play a part in the seeming neverending fic of mine, Intuition. But it hasn’t, it never would have fitted (probably because Intuition is an AU? Hmm, hha) but still, some sort of fic in it’s own right. Kind of dark, kind of creepy, kind of... weird. Kind of all over the place.
Smiling eyes of Shame.
The morning after is supposed to be pain free, hassle free and the time when people start to get back to normality. When Billy blinked awake, he rolled onto his back and pressed his fists into his sockets, twisting away contorted images, grimacing to the depths of his stomach. Rolling back onto his side didn’t help. Across the hotel room from him was an empty bed. Covers twisted and all but dragged onto the floor. The room stank of sex. Blatant and repulsive.
He got up, slipping into the bathroom for a quick shower, smothering himself with aftershave and hoping the stench wouldn’t play tag with him for the rest of the day. When he left the bathroom, he tossed his night clothes onto his bed from the doorway. He left before the smell could follow.
The first sign that the day would be strange was when he arrived at Elijah and Sean’s room for breakfast, Elijah was eyeing him strangely. Billy shrugged wordlessly, snatching toast off of the tray and perching himself on Sean’s bed. The premiere party had been crazy. They all looked as though they could sleep for a few hundred years; but Elijah was alert, his eyes wide with worry as he fought his way across the room to Billy’s side, trying to appear nonchalant.
“Billy. Something’s wrong.”
“I know,” Billy sighed, rubbing a hand across his eyes. “I’ll deal with it.”
“I don’t think you can. Orlando said…”
“Sshh, Elijah. Enough. I’ll deal with it.”
Elijah bit his lip like a chided schoolchild and stared into his cooling cup of coffee.
“I saw Dominic this morning. He left before everyone else…”
“Elijah, please. I’ll deal with it.”
“Viggo…”
“Elijah!”
Billy didn’t mean to get angry. But Sean and Orlando turned to look at him, surprised and almost amused.
“Got out the wrong side of the bed this morning, Billy?” Orlando quirked, standing between the beds and eating from a bowl of cereal. Milk was dribbling down his chin. Billy stared.
Orlando’s eyes were wild and feral like a cat when Billy saw them, his hands clutching in a vice grip as he bucked wildly on the bed, sweat shining his skin like wet paint as his head was thrown back. Billy heard him let out a guttural moan, biting his lip until the blood dribbled down his chin. “Fuck it, fucking hell I can’t stop…”
“Fine thank you Orlando. It’s a wonder I got up at all, considering.”
Orlando just stared back at him. “Seen Dom?”
“No Orlando, I have not seen Dom. I am on the other hand, trying to have breakfast.”
Elijah got up from beside him, putting his cup down rather noisily and leaving the room. Billy cursed under his breath. Everything was going wrong.
Press junkets were going on for the rest of the day. Billy was paired with Dominic which came as no surprise, and after greeting his best friend for the first time that day at exactly ten minutes past twelve, he frowned and wondered exactly how he should speak to him.
“Dom, we should talk.”
“Best forgotten, Pippin dearest,” Dominic beamed, not looking at him and twisting the ring on his thumb. He looked up, forcing a smile that hit Billy in the heart. “At least, not right now.”
The interviewer arrived and Billy sat back in his seat, trying to look comfortable and pretending that the world was beautiful once again, allowing Dominic to flirt with him in the way the press lapped up like puppies to their adoring mother. It was almost naively insatiable.
“Something isn’t right,” Viggo mused gently that evening to Billy, as they occupied three tables of the hotel restaurant for dinner.
Billy was watching Dominic.
From across the room, two painfully desperate eyes sought out his own. Lying almost flat on his side, head pushed against the pillow, until the body rolled onto it’s stomach, face turned to the side, never breaking Billy’s gaze. Billy could have reached out to that body, tried to soothe the pain in those eyes. Something wasn’t right. The eyes flinched. Blinking slowly before reopening, rivulets of tears breaking the barrier and beginning to fall. “Dom?” Billy had whispered, before realising it couldn’t truly be real. It just couldn’t.
“I’ll deal with it,” Billy muttered, sipping his wine and leaving Viggo standing by the desert table. He crossed the room to Elijah, bending to speak into his ear softly.
“We need to talk.”
Elijah followed him like a lamb to the desert table, now vacated by Viggo who was sitting deep in conversation with Sean Bean. How quickly the pair could absorb themselves into it, Billy considered for a second.
“I’m worried, Billy,” Elijah whispered, eyes even wider than before and eyebrows meeting in the middle. “I have this horrible feeling that something bad is going to happen.”
“Something bad already happened,” Billy warned, watching Elijah carefully. “I just can’t remember all of it. I just know it wasn’t good.”
Later that night, Billy found Dominic by the fridge in their hotel room, draining the small bottles of vodka and sitting beside an empty six pack of Jack Daniels.
“Oh, Dom,” Billy sighed, patting his friend on the head before going back to gently stroke the tousled hair away from his friend’s sweating face. “Go to bed. You’re wasted.”
“Not sleeping. In that,” Dominic hissed, jerking his thumb to the bed. Covers twisted and falling on the floor. Billy quirked his nose. The room stank of sex. Still.
“We’ll get another room,” Billy offered, reaching a hand down with the intention of helping Dominic to his feet. Dominic stiffened.
“I don’t want to sleep. I just want to finish this drink.”
Billy frowned. “Looks like you might have said that a few drinks ago.”
No proper response, just a strange hissing sound from between Dominic’s teeth.
Billy blinked, moonlight reflecting off of skin barely a reach away from him. The floor was moving. The bed was shaking. There was a thud once every two seconds seconds. The headboard was slamming against the wall. After each thud was a strangled hiss. Then a barely contained sob. Billy blinked again, tears just prickling his vision. Those eyes would probably haunt him for the rest of his life. Staring into his own. Pleading. Before lips parted and the shout made Billy jump, until he rolled over and away and pressed his hands against his ears. Didn’t want to hear. Didn’t want to know. “Billy!”
Billy managed to get Dominic to Elijah and Sean’s room, dropping him onto Elijah’s bed. Elijah stared, hands on his hips, first at Billy and then at Dominic’s groaning figure on the bed, slowly curling up against his pillow.
“Now what?”
Good question, Billy pondered silently, staring at Sean. Sean held up his hands. “I don’t want to know, Billy. I really don’t.”
“Lucky for some,” Billy muttered, turning on his heel and leaving. He bumped into Orlando outside in the corridor. Orlando, who smelt of both cheap beer and expensive cognac and was probably buzzing from a night on the dance floor. Who was wearing a shockingly bright purple shirt.
“Billy.”
Billy shuddered.
“Orlando. Fuck you.”
Because he could remember something.
“Billy.” Billy turned his head, his hands still clamped upon his ears to see the arching figure on the bed, panting and gasping for breath, pupils wide and dilated with lust, radiating heat and desire… Billy shook his head, whimpering gently as the breathing, gasping animal spoke. “Billy, hold him.”
Billy’s hand formed a fist before he knew it, slamming it into the side of Orlando’s skull. He was retreating into the room before he knew it, receiving quizzical looks from Sean and surprised exclamations from Elijah who was trying to get past to help Orlando, who’s eye was bruising rapidly and who had slumped against one wall… Billy held Elijah, shut the door with his foot and pushed him away towards the bed. Elijah fell onto the bed, sitting on Dominic’s legs. “Billy. You’re insane!”
Billy could see he was screaming; his mouth open and hands fisting into sheets. Tugged to lie on his back, neck arching and head leaning back and away until Billy could almost feel the bones snapping. Silent screaming at the ceiling. Not a sound. Billy sobbed into his pillow. Paralysed and couldn’t move. Because all he could see was the pumping and the possessing of the figure. The figure that was gasping for breath. Grunting at the same ceiling. Possessing and bruising. The stench of alcohol and sex. Billy’s hand shook before his eyes and he realised his hands weren’t cupping his ears anymore. But the room was silent now. “This is insane,” came the whisper and Billy blinked as Orlando jumped off the bed, grabbing his clothes and slamming the door on his way out. Leaving Dominic and Billy, lying in the darkness, watching eachother. Not a sound. Just the sound of their breathing in the room. The smell of sex. And Billy’s whimpers. And Dominic’s sobbing.
“Don’t you fucking dare go out to him,” Billy cursed, moving a chest of drawers with one attempt to block the door. “Just you fucking dare, Elijah.”
Dominic had woken up on the bed and was futilely trying to kick Elijah off of his feet. Elijah was merely grappling with him, trying to hold him down. Billy blinked at them. He realised Dominic had been screaming for so long now he hadn’t begun to notice. Sean was snatching up his phone, dialling numbers with fumbling fingers and thumbs as Elijah was looking at Billy over his shoulder. And Billy was looking at Dominic, who was staring back at him. Eyes wide. Frightened.
“Don’t speak a word of this,” Dominic had whispered, kicking the covers off of the bed and barely bothering to cover his naked body for Billy. “Don’t speak a fucking word.” Billy had bitten his lip, clenching his eyes shut against the smell. He didn’t sleep. But he didn’t open them again until morning when he knew Dominic had finished crying and was gone. Leaving the disgust behind, wanting to shut it out just like Billy couldn’t.
“It was never meant to happen.” Orlando had whispered earlier that day at breakfast, standing between the beds with a bowl of cereal. Elijah had frowned, waiting for Billy to come in. “We were drunk. I’m afraid that I did something terrible. I don’t know how to make it right, Lighe. I really don’t know if I can.”
Confused, Elijah gazed into space, only refocusing when Billy entered the room. Orlando had turned to look at Billy as well. Took in the dark circles under his eyes and felt his insides turn to dust. Tried cracking a joke. Billy didn’t take. Then Orlando knew this was it.
“I used to trust him,” Dominic had said, once Elijah had stopped pushing him down and Billy was cradling his own head in his hands, completely abandoned of what to do next. “He was my favourite drinking buddy. He could go on all night.”
Billy looked away, watching Sean toss and catch his phone in the air for want of something to say. Billy couldn’t look at Dominic.
“But not now,” Billy whispered to the walls.
“This isn’t good,” Viggo mused to Sean Bean after leaving the desert table. “Something terrible is happening and everyone is pretending it hasn’t. It’s just second guessing around the flames, Sean. Orlando has a lot to answer for.”
Sean sipped his wine. “He never could handle his drink. It wouldn’t surprise me if he became an animal when the moon was up.” Viggo set down his glass. “That, my friend, is what I’m afraid of.”
It had been a quiet night. Billy had been asleep when the door had opened, and the first thing he knew was that whoever it was, was drunk. A chill crept into his bones and he pretended to be asleep. Didn’t move. Hardly dared to breathe. But it didn’t take long before he knew he and his roommate weren’t alone. “You’re drunk,” was the whisper he heard before he remembered seeing Dominic’s eyes before him. Before he froze and realised he couldn’t move. Before he watched Orlando possess Dominic completely. Before Billy realised he was ashamed. Ashamed because he couldn’t move to save Dom. Because he was afraid.
Dominic had shrugged days later, when Orlando had excused himself from the functions and caught the next flight home to England. His official statement read he was ‘unfortunately unwell’.
“Shit happens.”
Billy’s chest swelled. “I could have done something.”
“We’d all had too much to drink.”
Billy bit his lip. “What of us all now?”
Again, Dominic shrugged, forcing a smile for a nearby camera. “We do what we always do. Smile. It’s all we ever have to do, Billy.”
The red carpet was full and Billy glanced towards Elijah who was giggling delightfully with Sean. Andy was jumping up behind them, screeching Gollum noises into their ears to impress the reporters who were flocking around them.
Billy felt Dominic’s arm creep around his neck. Dominic directed them towards a group of cameramen, before leaning close to Billy’s ear.
“Smile for the camera, Billy.”
Billy swallowed harshly, drawing his lips into a smile and cringing when Dominic laughed falsely beside him, amused at a remark from a reporter about being pleased Return of the King was the last one. Billy crumbled inside.
“Nothing is ever going to be alright, is it Dom?” he whispered out of the corner of his mouth. Dominic didn’t answer, merely hugged Billy tighter and turned to look at him. Billy looked back; they were insanely close, noses almost touching. Flashes around them; the press were loving it and Billy wasn’t aware. Only that Dominic looked so sad.
“Smile. For the camera,” Dominic said softly. And Billy nodded.
Billy had half smiled; anything to break the silence. Dominic's lips had opened before he whispered, "Billy. Help me." Lying in the dark, stunned and alone, looking into eachother's eyes and knowing this was something big. Something unforgivable. Something that would be between them forever.
As they pulled apart and plastered goofy smiles onto their faces, Billy cringed as he realised that his lips could form what they wished, and his eyes could sing in any picture but no lens filter could ever mistake the smiling eyes of shame.