Fic- A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Librairie (83/100) (82/100)

[v-angelique.livejournal.com]

Title: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Librairie (83/100)
Authors: v_angelique and rainbowcobweb
Pairing: Monaboyd
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Big fat fiction.
Feedback: Appreciated.
Summary: Dom and Billy continue to plan for the wedding.



"So I think we need to come up with two or three colours for our theme," Billy suggested, sitting at the table with a big Sunday breakfast in front of him and a notepad and biro next to his plate. "That'll make all the rest of it easier, flowers and invitations and the like. My tartan is mostly red, so that should be one of the colours. Maybe red and black and one other? Navy? Green? Gold? And do you want to wear a kilt or a suit? It's up to you, but we'd better hurry up and get fitted for whatever it is soon."

"Could we have red, navy and green, do you think?" Dom asked, straightening out the pages of the letter he'd written the night before, then folding it up and placing it in an envelope. "I don't really like the idea of black in the theme. Apart from on our suit jackets, like, and our shirts, maybe? Is it a suit jacket or a kilt jacket? Anyway. I think I want to wear a kilt. You might find me horribly sexy and irresistible." He winked, then licked the envelope, sticking it down and neatly copying the address of the publisher he'd got off the internet.

"We could do that," Billy agreed. "I was just thinking the jackets might be black, but we could have navy jackets. That would be quite nice, actually, and I have no idea what they're called. Also, I find you horribly sexy and irresistible no matter what you're wearing," he added, leaning over the table and giving Dom a quick kiss. "How many are you sending, then? Are they all in England?"

"Five in England, one in South Africa, no, don't ask me why, one in America and three in Scotland. I'm figuring my name might get me brownie points, see." He smiled and showed Billy how he'd signed the letter. "Thought it might be good to practise," he said with a little shrug, tracing the curls of the letters in 'Boyd' with his index finger.

Billy grinned widely and gave Dom's hair a little ruffle. "Dunnae about that," he warned. "I might be wanted in several counties. We Boyds are a rabble rousing bunch."

"Oh, are you now?" Dom asked, raising his eyebrow even though he was concentrating on spelling the name of the South African publishing house right. "Well, whatever you're wanted for, love, my new name's going to get me further than my old one would have done. Don't want all those Scots thinking I'm a paddy now, do I?" He winked then grinned as he finished copying the address, then got stuck. "South Africa's 'Afrique du Sud', right? And America's 'Les Etats Unis'?"

"Aye, but I think you can just write 'USA' and it will get there fine. I can't imagine that La Poste can't figure that out."

"Right," Dom replied with a smile, printing 'Afrique du Sud' and then sticking it on the pile of four envelopes that had been finished and were ready to send. "We need to find a venue as well, love, and somewhere for the reception if it's not the same place as the ceremony."

"Well I still think we'll have a hard time finding a Catholic church that will do it, so why don't we just pick a nice hotel? All our guests will be travelling in anyway, so we could book a bunch of rooms for the night and probably get a discount."

"I love the way you think," Dom said, looking up to grin at Billy and then drinking a bit of his tea. "I ordered some, uh...tourist guides or something from the Belgian tourist board but they haven't come yet. Was there anything at the shop? I might have sent them to the shop."

"Aye," Billy replied with a little smile. "I haven't looked at them yet but I do recall that they were sent to Messieurs William Boyd. Nice touch, that. They're on the coffee table."

"Yay," Dom said, putting his pen down and then wandering into the living room, picking the leaflets and booklets up off the coffee table with a big grin. "Come on, then," he said once he'd walked back into the kitchen, dumping the papers on the table next to Billy, "let's start having a look."

"All right," Billy agreed, peering over Dom's shoulder. "It's all so quaint."

"Lovely, right?" Dom asked, flipping through one brochure and then closing it again to look at the cover. "Ghent! I went there! Did I mention Ghent?"

"You did, yeah. That's French-speaking or Flemish?" Billy asked, scratching Dom's scalp.

"Mmmm, that feels nice," Dom said, closing his eyes and letting his pen drop from his hand again as he leant back against Billy's chest. "Flemish, but everyone spoke English when I went, so we're all right."

"All right," Billy agreed as he reached around and flipped the page. "Ooh Dom, look! A castle! We could get married in a castle, wouldn't that be brilliant?"

Dom beamed and nodded, clapping his hands excitedly. "Shall we ring and see, Bill, shall we? Do they even do wedd – eep, look, they have rooms for hire! Ring them!" Dom pressed the phone into Billy's hand and then tugged Billy onto his lap, squeezing gently.

"It's Sunday, Dom," Billy replied with a smile and a kiss to Dom's cheek, putting the phone down. "I'll ring them at the start of business tomorrow, I promise. But we still have things to decide. If we're getting married in the castle, we can have the reception there I think, or we could have it in a hotel... we should still probably get hotel rooms for the wedding party at least."

"Yeah, we'll need to do all that," Dom said, nodding in agreement and grinning at his own stupidity. "We could stay at the youth hostel! It'd be cheap and crap but really really fun; we can all run about and knock on each other's doors at night..." Dom then saw Billy's face. "Or, you know, we could always just find a hotel."

"You know I love your crazy ideas, lad," Billy allowed, rubbing his thumb over Dom's hand, "but I am not spending my wedding night in a youth hostel."

Dom giggled. "I know," he said, stroking Billy's thigh. "Want to tell me about where we're going to spend our wedding night?"

"Somewhere very lavish, with a nice big comfy bed that I can make love to you in. And possibly complimentary champagne. And bubble bath. Very important, that," Billy declared, teasingly nuzzling Dom's neck with his nose.

"You know how I like having baths with you, Mr. Boyd," Dom whispered, turning his head to kiss Billy's lips gently. "Lavish, then?" he asked quietly, tucking Billy's hair behind his ears.

"Oh, very," Billy agreed with a resolute nod, playing with Dom's shirt buttons. "We deserve to pamper ourselves for a night, don't you think?"

"Mmmm, we do," Dom said, grinning and kissing Billy's cheek. "How is it that every time we try and do something for the wedding we end up..." He gestured to Billy's hands, which were still fiddling with his shirt, "...you know. Wanting to do stuff."

"Could that be because you're a naughty little minx, perhaps?" Billy suggested with a grin, though he drew his hands away and rested them instead on Dom's waist. "All right. We focus. Castle, lavish hotel, colours... what else? Food? We need food."

"We do need food, you're quite right," Dom replied with a nod, his hands reaching around Billy to grab hold of his arse. "Fuck, you've got a nice arse," he muttered, before shaking his head. "Do you think Mr. Li might do it? Chinese food at our wedding would be great."

"I'm sure he would if we asked. Chinese food, though? I can see starters maybe, like spring rolls and pot stickers, but everyone standing around slurping noodles would be a bit messy. Maybe he could come up with some finger food and then we could get someone else to do desserts. That could work if it's in the afternoon," Billy considered.

"Maybe the guys at the Perraudin would do it? Seeing as that's where we started, and all."

"Oh, that's a good idea!" Billy agreed. "I can talk to them. Though... we might want to make sure there's not pecan pie or I won't even eat my own wedding cake."

Dom growled playfully and squeezed Billy's arse again. "You don't eat your wedding cake and there'll be Hell to pay, Boyd."

"Yes, sir," Billy replied with a little laugh, jumping away from Dom's hand. "We've got to figure that out, too. Have a baker bake a wedding cake. Maybe we should try to find one in Ghent, since that's going to be a bit difficult to transport. For that matter I don't know how easy the food will be to transport. What kind of cake do you want? Chocolate?"

"Um, mum actually asked whether she could make it," Dom said, cocking his head to the side. "It used to be a hobby of hers, see, before we left home and she started working full time. She says there's this special sugar paper that you can get photos printed on and she wondered whether we'd like to do that. You know, have pictures of us on the cake. We could put those ones from the Eiffel Tower on, couldn't we? What do you think?"

"That would be cute," Billy agreed. "It won't have to be a huge cake, will it? I mean it'll be fifty people at most, I would think, probably fewer than that. But of course your mum can make it."

"She rang and asked last night, you see, while you were in the shower. I'm not entirely sure on where she intends to bake this cake but I'll use my charm and various other skills to find an oven in Belgium." Dom grinned and pressed his nose to Billy's. "We need a photographer and a videographer as well."

"Well what's this castle like? I mean, is it modern on the inside? If it has a kitchen maybe we can convince them to let us use it for the event. If Mr. Li and/or a couple of the guys from Perraudin could come, we'd have it all sorted. Just need to hire a couple of caterers to set everything up buffet-style, and there you go. I don't think we even need a bartender, we could just have all the alcohol there and let people drink it. And I don't know about a videographer, lad, that seems a bit over the top... but we can get a professional photographer and just make Andy run around with a camcorder or something."

"Well we'll need to give them a ring, won't we?" Dom asked with a fond roll of his eyes, tugging Billy's hair gently. "It looks ages old, anyway. Miracle it wasn't destroyed in the War. Andy has pretty good camera skills, actually," Dom added with a little smile. "I think his degree was in art, so it'd be just the same as hiring a proper cameraman. I want to have it all on film, see, so we can show our children. And their children."

"Well if there's not a kitchen, you'll find a kitchen. I trust your charm," Billy teased. "And I like the idea of keeping it for posterity, I just don't want to pay some bloke fifty quid an hour who doesn't know us or what we want. Andy will be good."

"You think of everything, don't you?" Dom asked with a lazy smile, cupping Billy's face with his hands. "So we've got the venue, providing the rooms are free on the fifteenth, we'll find a hotel, the food and the video are sorted...transport...most people are taking the train...uh, what else do we need? Fuck! Invitations!"

"Breathe," Billy replied, squeezing Dom's back with one hand and his knee with the other. "That's easy. We'll just find a printer and tell them the colours we're using and they'll come up with something. We can have a little insert with information on making train and hotel reservations. Who're we inviting, though? Our families, Andy and Lucy and Lou and Oliver, anyone else from the school? Gwen? We should invite Anabelle, and of course Mary and Mr. Craig if she's going to be a flower girl... oh we do need to sort out her dress. What about your cousin Byrony, too? Wouldn't she like to be a flower girl? Maybe we could get them matching frilly dresses in the tartan, with black patent leather shoes. That would be adorable. And I assume Matt and Andy should at least coordinate their suits. If we're doing navy they should as well, I think."

"Arrrrrrrrrggg," Dom forced out, resting his head on Billy's shoulder. "There's so much to think about. Lists! We need lists! Let's make lists."

"It's all right, love," Billy replied, taking the pen and jotting down in his even handwriting, "Invitations. Find out about kitchen. Ask Andy about videos. Byrony flower girl? Check venue. Get people fitted for kilts and dresses. See if we can accidentally get Andy fitted for a dress."

"Christ, I love you," Dom said, twisting in his chair so he was right next to Billy and able to read over his shoulder. When he saw the last item on the list, he burst out laughing and nabbed a couple of sheets of paper out of the notebook, writing 'GUEST LIST' at the top of the first sheet. "You're insane, Bill. Oooooh! Can we have rainbow confetti? I swear no other rainbow things but please? Can we? I wonder if they do little rainbow flag confetti..."

"I suppose I can handle a bit of confetti. Maybe you can check a gay website or sommat. They have all sorts of oddball things like that. Not that you're an oddball. Well," Billy amended, "Maybe you are. But you're my little oddball," he declared, ruffling Dom's hair.

"Yay!" Dom exclaimed, placing his nose in Billy's ear for a moment before withdrawing it. Absent for most of the planning, Wilde chose to jump up onto Dom's lap and then walk across onto Billy, so he was half-balancing on the two of them. He looked up at Dom and then at Billy before running round in a circle on their thighs, batting his paws happily. "You're a prat, chicken," Dom informed him with a big grin, rubbing their noses together. "Yes, you are. You coming to help with the guest list, then?"

"He's a happy prat, and I suppose that's all that matters," Billy reasoned, scratching behind his ears. "That does raise a good point, though. What do we do with Wilde and Matt while we're gone? Are we going to have a honeymoon do you think?"

"Well, obviously," Dom said, resting his hand on Billy's thigh, moving Wilde's feet gently out of the way. "We'll leave Matt with enough cockroaches to sink a ship for the three days we're away and put Wilde in a cattery or something. I'm sure Andy and Luce will have them after they get back. And a honeymoon, that's another thing. Where are we going for that?"

"Well we'll already be in bloody Belgium," Billy reasoned. "Do we really need to go anywhere else?"

"Good point," Dom said, nodding his head. "Excellent beer, chocolate, chips and lots of stuff to do. As well as several rounds of enthusiastic shagging, am I right?"

"Too bloody right," Billy agreed with a big grin. "And I like beer and chocolate. I approve highly of beer and chocolate."

"How about we combine all three?" Dom asked, turning to Billy with a raised eyebrow and breathing hotly over his neck. "How about this? Me...tied to the headboard...a bowl of melted chocolate, your tongue, and a few bottles of beer and a packet of fags for after. After you've opened me up with the aforementioned chocolate and tongue and had your wicked way with me, that is. How does that sound?"

"Yeh wee minx," Billy mumbled breathily, pressing his lower body against Dom's. "I certainly hope we're done with the planning. Are we done with the planning?"

"For now, at least," Dom replied hurriedly, attaching his lips to Billy's neck and sucking, hard. "Bedroom, come on." And with that, the two of them stood up, causing Wilde to drop to the floor with a yowl, and didn't quite make it to the bedroom after all.