AndreaLyn (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
andrealyn) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fellowshippers2003-11-26 07:52 pm
andrealyn) wrote in fellowshippers2003-11-26 07:52 pm
(no subject)
Title: One Less Day
Pairing: Viggo/Orlando, Elijah/Orlando, Dom/Billy, Elijah/Billy
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Not mine, never happened.
Summary: Viggo has nothing. Orlando feels. Elijah remembers. Dom loves, and Billy just wants.
Notes: Thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
beizy for the beta.
1.
It is on the first Tuesday of May.
Viggo holds the paintbrush – cradles it between his fingers in that delicate resting position – he exhales, and he discovers what is so different this time. The inhalation is sharp, and it knows everything about the world and its history.
What is new is too much, and too crushing for Viggo to put into words.
He cannot create anymore.
He tries to scream, but nothing comes out. He clenches his fists and attempts to cry, but he finds himself frozen to the spot. When he looks deep inside himself for the perpetual explosion of inspiration and ideas, he finds a dried up pond, a black hole…he finds nothing.
And no matter how hard he looks, nothing ever comes back to him.
::…::
2.
Orlando has tried before to make Viggo feel. He’s done it time and time again with failure being the constant result.
Orlando thinks that if he keeps digging his nails into Viggo’s back, keeps running one finger through the sheen of sweat, keeps crying out Viggo’s name like a prayer, that one of those times, Viggo will feel. He digs harder, he runs his fingers over more of Viggo’s body, he cries a little louder -- a little more broken, a little more desperate this time, ‘cry out boy, that’s what you were made for, scream for me.’
Orlando has never been good at predicting the right outcome. Orlando is used to being wrong.
He’s just not used to being loved.
And therein lies his problem. He is loved. He is loved with a gripping hand of warmth that he has never experienced before in his life. It is suffocating, it is real, and it is something he isn’t sure how to deal with.
The real problem is that Orlando doesn’t return the love being given to him by those blue eyes, and that pale skin, and that ever-so-earnest grin.
Orlando loves Viggo instead.
Because Viggo just doesn’t feel.
::…::
3.
Elijah remembers the old days.
He got what he wanted, and it didn’t take long. He had his pick of roles, his choice of men and woman, and all he had to do was ask. He remembers that it had worked like that until he met Orlando. That’s when things changed.
In the blur of faces and memories, he remembers the words that came out of his mouth:
“Orlando, I love you.”
And he remembers the cold look of non-reaction that had splayed across Orlando’s face. He had felt a bit of that cold go straight to his heart and freeze him from the inside out. He had valiantly searched for words to speak, something to say, a laugh to make everything all right.
Nothing came.
He remembers that he never did quite get what he wanted after that.
Because Orlando doesn’t want him.
::…::
4.
Dom loves.
Dom loves the way that Billy’s face lights up when he laughs; loves the way that he knows everything is going to be okay the moment that Billy shows up into his life. He loves that his entire existence shifts the moment Billy speaks.
Dom feels that all he has to do is remember something that Billy has said, and nothing else will be present in his mind but those words. He closes his eyes just to relive his thoughts and finds himself falling deeper into the pool of Billy’s eyes, his lips, and the way he smells.
And it isn’t like Dom is in denial or anything…
No…
That’s not what it is.
Billy just doesn’t know that he loves Dom back yet. That’s all.
::…::
5.
Billy wants the world to stop pulling the carpet from underneath his feet. He wants the cruel parade of ‘things he cannot have’ to stop marching right in front of his eyes. He sees blue eyes, brown eyes – people of a species he can always desire, but can never really have.
And he knows that Dom is always in his shadow.
Always lingering, always hovering, always there.
Billy has made a habit of never looking back in his life. He has kept a trained eye on the events of the future, and what lies in his path. He’s been careful not to fall back on bad habits; not to look to his shadow. His eyes constantly lie forward on that prize. Maybe one day, Elijah will return his gaze and things will work out. Elijah doesn’t seem interested though, but every time that Billy turns around, he finds Dom – never Elijah.
It happens on the last Thursday of June.
He tells Dom that he wants to move forward.
He doesn’t want to go home to a bed where all he does is fuck and move on, because it isn’t fair to Dom to be used like that, and it isn’t fair for Billy to continue on in a rut like that.
And he wants to believe he made the right choice when Dom hits him and walks away.
::……::……::
Viggo takes a pen to his calendar and crosses off one more day.
::……::…..::
Orlando bites down hard against Viggo’s shoulder and prays for midnight to arrive as a single tear escapes him.
::…..::…..::
Elijah prays for that minute when Orlando says I love you back, and tries to love Orlando a little more, just in case that helps.
::……::……::
Dom listens to the ticking of the clock and knows that at any moment Billy will come crawling back to him.
::……::…..::
Billy marks off one more day. Marks off one less day until he dies.
And as he feels the sting of Dom’s fist on his face, he desperately wants that day to come.
THE END
Pairing: Viggo/Orlando, Elijah/Orlando, Dom/Billy, Elijah/Billy
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Not mine, never happened.
Summary: Viggo has nothing. Orlando feels. Elijah remembers. Dom loves, and Billy just wants.
Notes: Thanks to
beizy for the beta.1.
It is on the first Tuesday of May.
Viggo holds the paintbrush – cradles it between his fingers in that delicate resting position – he exhales, and he discovers what is so different this time. The inhalation is sharp, and it knows everything about the world and its history.
What is new is too much, and too crushing for Viggo to put into words.
He cannot create anymore.
He tries to scream, but nothing comes out. He clenches his fists and attempts to cry, but he finds himself frozen to the spot. When he looks deep inside himself for the perpetual explosion of inspiration and ideas, he finds a dried up pond, a black hole…he finds nothing.
And no matter how hard he looks, nothing ever comes back to him.
::…::
2.
Orlando has tried before to make Viggo feel. He’s done it time and time again with failure being the constant result.
Orlando thinks that if he keeps digging his nails into Viggo’s back, keeps running one finger through the sheen of sweat, keeps crying out Viggo’s name like a prayer, that one of those times, Viggo will feel. He digs harder, he runs his fingers over more of Viggo’s body, he cries a little louder -- a little more broken, a little more desperate this time, ‘cry out boy, that’s what you were made for, scream for me.’
Orlando has never been good at predicting the right outcome. Orlando is used to being wrong.
He’s just not used to being loved.
And therein lies his problem. He is loved. He is loved with a gripping hand of warmth that he has never experienced before in his life. It is suffocating, it is real, and it is something he isn’t sure how to deal with.
The real problem is that Orlando doesn’t return the love being given to him by those blue eyes, and that pale skin, and that ever-so-earnest grin.
Orlando loves Viggo instead.
Because Viggo just doesn’t feel.
::…::
3.
Elijah remembers the old days.
He got what he wanted, and it didn’t take long. He had his pick of roles, his choice of men and woman, and all he had to do was ask. He remembers that it had worked like that until he met Orlando. That’s when things changed.
In the blur of faces and memories, he remembers the words that came out of his mouth:
“Orlando, I love you.”
And he remembers the cold look of non-reaction that had splayed across Orlando’s face. He had felt a bit of that cold go straight to his heart and freeze him from the inside out. He had valiantly searched for words to speak, something to say, a laugh to make everything all right.
Nothing came.
He remembers that he never did quite get what he wanted after that.
Because Orlando doesn’t want him.
::…::
4.
Dom loves.
Dom loves the way that Billy’s face lights up when he laughs; loves the way that he knows everything is going to be okay the moment that Billy shows up into his life. He loves that his entire existence shifts the moment Billy speaks.
Dom feels that all he has to do is remember something that Billy has said, and nothing else will be present in his mind but those words. He closes his eyes just to relive his thoughts and finds himself falling deeper into the pool of Billy’s eyes, his lips, and the way he smells.
And it isn’t like Dom is in denial or anything…
No…
That’s not what it is.
Billy just doesn’t know that he loves Dom back yet. That’s all.
::…::
5.
Billy wants the world to stop pulling the carpet from underneath his feet. He wants the cruel parade of ‘things he cannot have’ to stop marching right in front of his eyes. He sees blue eyes, brown eyes – people of a species he can always desire, but can never really have.
And he knows that Dom is always in his shadow.
Always lingering, always hovering, always there.
Billy has made a habit of never looking back in his life. He has kept a trained eye on the events of the future, and what lies in his path. He’s been careful not to fall back on bad habits; not to look to his shadow. His eyes constantly lie forward on that prize. Maybe one day, Elijah will return his gaze and things will work out. Elijah doesn’t seem interested though, but every time that Billy turns around, he finds Dom – never Elijah.
It happens on the last Thursday of June.
He tells Dom that he wants to move forward.
He doesn’t want to go home to a bed where all he does is fuck and move on, because it isn’t fair to Dom to be used like that, and it isn’t fair for Billy to continue on in a rut like that.
And he wants to believe he made the right choice when Dom hits him and walks away.
::……::……::
Viggo takes a pen to his calendar and crosses off one more day.
::……::…..::
Orlando bites down hard against Viggo’s shoulder and prays for midnight to arrive as a single tear escapes him.
::…..::…..::
Elijah prays for that minute when Orlando says I love you back, and tries to love Orlando a little more, just in case that helps.
::……::……::
Dom listens to the ticking of the clock and knows that at any moment Billy will come crawling back to him.
::……::…..::
Billy marks off one more day. Marks off one less day until he dies.
And as he feels the sting of Dom’s fist on his face, he desperately wants that day to come.
THE END