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fellowshippers2006-07-22 04:46 pm
arabia764.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2006-07-22 04:46 pm
Fic: Us Against The World -- Damaged story 5 Elijah/Orli N17 9/10
Fic: Us Against The World -- Damaged story 5 Elijah/Orli N17 9/10
I’m posting this early as we have people coming tonight and I’ll probably be flat out on the sofa (wine in hand) by the time they’ve gone. It’s too hot for entertaining.
Title: Us Against The World – Damaged story 5
Chapter: Nine
Author: Arabia
Pairing: Elijah/Orli
Rating N17
Disclaimer: Total fiction
Feedback: Is always very much appreciated.
This is NOT a WIP – it is all finished and will be posted once a week.
The first four stories can be found in my memories.
Thank you to my darling otp![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
grievous_angel for the wonderful beta and all the support, and to annwyn55 for making the beautiful icon that goes with the fic.
This story is for Pum. She knows why and it is perfect.
Us Against The World
Chapter Nine
Back at the flat Orli made tea and was achingly practical, sorting out washing, getting things ready for work the next day, even stacking the dishwasher. Elijah leaned against the kitchen cupboards, arms folded across his chest, and watched him as Orli prattled on about nothing.
If Orli wasn’t going to voluntarily talk about this Elijah would just make him.
“We’ve got hardly anything left in the fridge,” Orli said. “I can’t be bothered to go shopping now, we can do it after work tomorrow. Will you pick me up?” He looked at Elijah, at last.
“Are you going to talk to me now?” Elijah asked.
“I am talking to you,” Orli threw mouldy salad in the bin. “I’ve been talking to you.”
“Now try talking about something important,” Elijah said dryly.
“Food is important,” Orli hurled a couple of sprouted potatoes so hard that they almost toppled the dustbin bin over as they went in. “Or do you want to talk about your father again?”
“No, I’d rather talk about your mum.”
“Well I don’t want to talk about her,” Orli’s voice rose.
“Why not?”
“Why do you have to push it? You’re always pushing.”
“Because sometimes you need pushing otherwise you brood on things till they screw you round in circles. Are you sure you got your mum’s reaction right? Are you sure you haven’t misinterpreted this?”
“No, Elijah,” Orli slammed the fridge door shut, annoyance oozing from every pore. “I haven’t got it wrong, I saw her face. She looked for the wrong reasons.”
“So she’s human,” Elijah hitched a shoulder. “Does it matter?”
“She’s not what I thought she was.”
“That’s your problem, not hers.”
“Well gee, thanks for the support,” the sarcasm dripped from every word as Orli shook his head and turned away.
“Orli! Get your arse back here,” Elijah was in no mood for that. Reluctantly Orli came back. “You’re mum looked, so what? I was really good at making people look back then, especially if you consider what was happening. I was doing everything I could to grab attention.”
“But she knows that, she’s not supposed to respond to it.”
“What?” Elijah lifted a sceptical eyebrow. “She’s so pure that she can rise above everything? Bollocks Orlando, you knew what I was doing but when I first met you I could still get you going ‘for the wrong reasons.’” Orli wasn’t the only one who could do sarcasm. “Let’s face it, I still can if I try.”
“That’s different.”
“No it’s not,” Elijah said, exasperated. “You can accept your dad fancied me, why can’t you do the same with your mum?”
“She’s not supposed to.”
“Why not?” This was so stupid Elijah almost felt like laughing. Or maybe pulling his hair out.
“Because how are you supposed to be friends with her if she fancies you?”
“Same way I’m friends with Rose and Stuart. They still drool over me and the jokes about Rose fantasising about us naked aren’t really a joke, you know that. It doesn’t stop us being friends though.” He heaved out a breath and plonked himself down at the little table, ignoring the fact that Orli still stood, hands gripping the back of a chair.
“Orlando, your mum doesn’t really fancy me,” Orli was ready to argue but Elijah would let him. “Trust me, I can tell how people feel about me and I’m not wrong. The pictures might have intrigued her, fascinated her even a little, but that’s it. It doesn’t change how she feels about me or who she is.”
“I wanted her to be different,” Orli said quietly.
Elijah looked over, his eyes clear and serious. “You have to stop putting people on pedestals, thinking they’re perfect. No one is and everyone ends up getting hurt, especially you. You’ve done it before, don’t do it to your mum.”
For a brief moment Orli thought back to all the times he’d hurt Elijah. So selfish, so cruel, so unintended. He’d never hurt anyone else like that, never wanted to, and yet Elijah was still here, still talking sense, still loving him. He wanted Elijah to know just how much he loved him but he didn’t have the words.
He did the only thing he knew, lunging across the kitchen, tipping Elijah back in his chair till he, Elijah and the chair were in a tangle on their backs. Then he set about fucking the life out of him, right there, right on their new kitchen floor.
And Elijah knew exactly what it meant.
+
Elijah had wanted a quick, hot shower but it wasn’t what his body needed. Instead he’d stretch out in the bath letting the hot water soak into every weary bone, every stretched muscle. It had been rough and hard, he had the finger marks to prove it, and he’d be sitting gingerly for a few days at least. They hadn’t done it like that for ages and they’d both needed it.
He stretched as he got out, smiling at the burn inside. Lovely. He really did enjoy feeling like this, all mellow and satisfied and used. Just lovely. But he was exhausted as well, an exhaustion not the result of exercise but one caused by too much emotion. He’d had enough, he just wanted it all to stop for a while.
At least after a fucking like that he should be able to sleep.
Back in the bedroom he slipped into t shirt and boxers and sat on the end of the bed, twisting his towel between his fingers. Orli turned out the light in the hall and hung a freshly ironed shirt on the wardrobe handle. Elijah was quietly grateful he didn’t have to dress up for work.
Orli brushed a hand through Elijah’s hair as he passed and Elijah sighed.
“I’ve had enough Orlando,” Elijah said, surprising himself. “I can’t live at this intensity anymore. As soon as we settle down something else seems to come along and smack us in the face.”
“We get gaps in between the rubbish,” Orli shrugged. “What more can we do?”
“Is that it? Is that the best we can hope for, a few gaps?” he shook his head ironically. “And now I’ve managed to let things get screwed up between you and your parents. That’s too much.”
“So what’s the option?” Orli said. “Leave me? Is that what you want to do to get away from everything?”
“No, I never said that,” again the shake of Elijah’s head.
“Then what are you saying?”
“I’m not leaving. It’s just, shit,” he looked away. “About the only decent thing we had going was your parents and I didn’t want that spoilt.”
“But this isn’t about you,” Orli didn’t try and comfort him. He moved across the room fighting down the resentment that had lain ignored since the afternoon. “This is about me and them.” He faced Elijah again, his back against the chest of drawers, ready to admit the truth he detested.
“My dad hates the fact I’m gay, if truth be told he’s ashamed and disgusted by me. He puts up with it because he loves me, and my mum would kill him if he didn’t. He also loathes - to the point he can’t admit anything about it - the fact he fancied you. It doesn’t matter if you were playing him and he had no choice, he hates the fact and hates you for sitting at the opposite side of the table from him every Sunday, reminding him.”
“Orli...” Elijah tried to talk but Orli would let him.
“No, shut up while I say the rest of this,” Orli took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “And my mum, fuck,” he ran a hand through his hair, pulling at it in an alarming way. “You’re right, I have to accept that my mother isn’t the perfect middle class woman, straight out of a nineteen fifties magazine I always thought she was. Again you’re right, you fascinate her; I’ve known that for a long time. And I have to admit to myself that at least a tiny little bit of that isn’t for the reasons I want. I don’t know if she fancies you, if she just wants to look at you or if she fantasises about you. Lots of women her age do things like that but, whatever it is, I don’t want to know.”
He looked at Elijah straight. “It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with how I think about my mum. Fucking stupid, but I’ve never considered her as a sexual being and it’s weird doing it now. It’s not your fault Elijah, you were just the catalyst that brought all this out in the open.”
“I don’t want to be a catalyst,” Elijah said honestly.
“Tough shit. What are you going to do about it? Leave?”
“Of course not.”
“Then I guess we have to do what we do anytime there’s crap coming our way. We cling onto each other for dear life and ride it out.”
“Orlando,” but this time, when Elijah said the name it was softer, rounder and meant something completely different.
“I’m not going to let any of our parents muck up what we’ve got, I won’t let anyone,” Orli stood defiant. “No one else is important, nothing from outside gets in, we’re too strong for that. It’s us against the world, just like it’s always been.”
“You make it sound easy.”
“Fuck it ‘Lijah, nothing is easy. It was never going to be,” Orli moved closer, tall above Elijah. He waved a hand at the world outside the window. “Half the people out there hate our guts because we’re two blokes. Most of the rest would condemn us if they could be bothered. But I know that it’s just us and who we are that counts, fuck the rest of them.”
Orli cupped Elijah’s face, his thumb rubbing a firm arc under one eye. “You’re a remarkable man,” Orli said, almost as though he was making a scientific observation. “You’re stunning, decent, good and you talk more sense and can handle me better than anyone else I know. It doesn’t matter what my parents or anyone else thinks, I love you for who you are.”
“But what about...” Elijah let his face rest in Orli’s hand as his fingers still picked at the towel.
“No buts,” Orli interrupted. His hand slid down to lift Elijah’s chin. “You know all that, you know we’re strong and you know you’re a decent man that hasn’t caused this, don’t you?” It wasn’t really a question, more a reaffirmation of faith.
“Yeah, I know,” Elijah nodded. “Us against the world. I just kind of lose sight of it at times.”
“Then that’s my job,” Orli smiled. “To remind you. Now get your sorry arse up and come to bed. Let’s forget about the lot of them.” He pulled Elijah up and into a hug, squeezing him gently. Elijah squirmed. “You really have got a sorry arse, haven’t you?” Orli’s smile turned possessive. “Want me to put some cream on it?”
+
Two days, Elijah lasted. Two days and then he couldn’t leave the problem of Yvonne alone. He had too many things hanging over his head to have that there as well. At least that was his justification. It wasn’t the thought of going back to painfully awkward Sunday dinners that made him crack. Whatever the provocation, he rang Yvonne Tuesday night asking if he could just ‘pop in’ on his way home from work the following day.
He told Orli in no uncertain terms he had to be there as well.
Yvonne looked her normal self when he arrived but Elijah could feel the strained atmosphere as soon as he walked through the door. He didn’t like that. She told him to go and sit in the living room whilst she made coffee but he ignored her, following her into the more relaxed kitchen. He sprawled over the counter and picked at her carrot cake with his fingers, the crumbs sticking round his mouth.
“Would you prefer cream or milk in your coffee?” she asked turning round. “I know that... Elijah don’t!” without thinking she rapped the back of his knuckles with her spoon. “You’ll ruin your appetite.”
Elijah looked up at her and grinned. That was more like it. “Oh go on Yvonne, let me have a bit. I can’t last till dinner time.” He painted on a pantomime, starving wretch face and she had no choice but to laugh.
“Well, you shouldn’t really but I suppose a small piece won’t hurt,” she cut an enormous slice of cake and his grin grew bigger.
As she passed over the plate Elijah caught her hand, his fingers gently pressing against hers. “Are we all right now?” he asked softly.
“Yes, of course. It’s just that...”
“Hey,” Elijah interrupted her. “You and I don’t need ‘just that’s.’ I understand.”
“I wish I’d never seen those photographs Elijah,” Yvonne said with a desperate ring of truth. “I don’t think of you that way, I didn’t mean anything by it. It was just...”
“Yvonne,” Elijah cut in again. “Don’t try and explain, it’ll only make it worse. I understand and it doesn’t change who you are or how I feel about you. You’re still my bossy mother in law, or as good as.”
Yvonne pressed her lips tight together in a manner so like Orli’s it made Elijah smile. She felt a little glow warm her insides and she patted his head. “You need a hair cut.”
“Can I get it done after I’ve had my cake?” he grinned once more and they were sorted. The first part was done, now all Elijah had to do was make sure Orli did the rest.
+
Orli arrived about ten minutes later to find Elijah eating scrambled eggs and bacon standing up in the kitchen, chatting to Yvonne. She’d never let Orli do that, even as a child, and he marvelled at Elijah again. He stood just outside the door and watched as Yvonne set down a plate of bread and butter next to Elijah. “How are you now?” she asked quietly. “You’ve had a terribly difficult time.”
Elijah smiled at her, a different sort of smile to the ones he gave Orli. This was full of affection and gentle thanks. “I’m doing better. Things were really rough for a while and I,” he shrugged, briefly. “I got a bit screwed up but Orli kept going on at me till I saw sense,” he reached for some bread and smiled again.
“Good, I’m glad he’s taking care of you. But remember, I’m always here if you need me.”
“Thank you,” Elijah said formally. “And I promise I’ll take care of him too.”
“Oh I know you do,” it was Yvonne’s turn to smile. “Just like I know I have you to thank for this evening.”
“Orli would have got round to sorting things out,” he looked at the sceptical expression on Yvonne’s face and laughed. “Or maybe he’d have just ignored it hoping it’d go away.”
“That sounds more like my son.”
“So I gave him a little push,” he hitched a shoulder. “It’s no big deal.”
“What did you threaten him with?”
This time Elijah laughed high and loud. “Nothing specific but I let the possibilities hang over his head. He scares easily.”
Orli stayed quite and listened, amazed at the ease with which they talked.
“Have you heard from... that man again?” Yvonne asked, bring her coffee to stand near Elijah whilst he finished eating.
“Nope, not for a while.”
“Do you think he’s given up?”
Elijah shrugged. “I can hope but I doubt it. I told him no, then he sent you the pictures. To be honest I’m surprised he hasn’t been in touch again already.”
“Are you worried?”
Again the shrug. “More resigned than worried. He can keep threatening and I’ll keep saying no. If he carries on sending them he’ll eventually run out of things to threaten me with.”
“Are you scared of him?”
“No,” a gentle shake of his head. “Maybe I should be, my mum thinks so, but no. I’ve met evil like him before.”
“Do you hate him?”
“Hate him?” Elijah thought about the idea. “I can’t be bothered to hate him, he isn’t worth it. I just want him to go away.”
“A very healthy attitude,” Yvonne said, collecting up Elijah’s plate and stacking it in the dishwasher as he finished the last of the bread. “Talking about healthy, that wasn’t a very good dinner you’ve just eaten. You should have let me make you some vegetables or a least a salad.”
“Salad with scrambled egg? Yuck. Don’t tell Orli but once in a while you’re allowed an unhealthy treat.”
Again Orli was amazed, this time at how easily they changed subjects, not dwelling on anything. The fact pleased him more than he had imagined.
“Where’s Mr B?” Elijah asked as he helped load the last things.
“It’s the annual general meeting at the golf club, he won’t be back till late,” Yvonne said. “Did you want to see him?”
“Not really,” Elijah admitted, and Yvonne looked at him. “I may like to have things settled but I’ve learnt to do something about the ones I can fix and leave the ones I can’t well alone. Frank is never going to change how he feels.”
“It saddens me greatly, but I think you may well be right,” Yvonne acknowledge. “He was always rather an entrenched man but as he’s got older he’s become plain stubborn. I really am sorry, for his sake as well as the rest of us, but he will never see you for what you are now.”
“It’s all right, we can both handle the status quo. I wouldn’t mind betting that in a couple of months time we go back to mumbling a few words to each other again. I just have to make sure Orli does the same.”
“Oh he will,” Yvonne put the last plate in the dishwasher and ran some hot water to wash the frying pan. “Orli is like his father at times, they can ignore things wonderfully. Let’s make a deal, I’ll make sure Frank never starts the argument again if you do the same with Orli.”
In his hiding place, Orli smiled.
“You’re on,” Elijah said. “And then we can go back to peaceful Sunday lunches.”
“Just as long as you don’t restart the debate with Frank about the causes of world war one,” Yvonne handed him a tea towel. “I don’t think I could stand listening to that any more.”
“Don’t moan,” Elijah smiled. “We both enjoyed that.”
“I’m sure you did, but I suspect you didn’t recap all the salient points in bed that night, as Frank did to me,” she scowled at the memory.
“No,” Elijah elongated the word as a wicked little grin spread across his face. “Orli probably had me thinking about other, more interesting, things in bed.”
Yvonne laughed as she pulled on yellow rubber gloves, little pink spots appearing on her cheeks. Then all of a sudden her face drained of colour and she turned away from Elijah with a barely heard, “Oh.”
Elijah realised what had happened immediately and reached out to touch her but she pulled back. “Hey,” he said softly. “It’s all right.”
“No it’s not,” still she wouldn’t look at him. “As you said, I am practically your mother in law. I should not think things like that.”
Elijah caught hold of her arm and wouldn’t let go. “You might be my ma-in-law but you’re also a woman. You think the fact that Orli and I are so in love is sweet and maybe you get a little turned on by it, so what? There’s no harm in that.”
“But those photographs,” she said desperately, her hand going up to her throat. “They weren’t sweet or about love and I... I reacted to them.” She pulled away again, going to the other side of the kitchen, her back to Elijah.
Orli stood rooted to the spot, horrified.
Again Elijah went after her, pulling at her hand till he could hold it through the thick gloves. “You were meant to react to them. I was trying to make anyone who saw me react, and it came over really well in the photos. He knew that, that’s why he’s using them against me.”
“But you must think so badly of me.”
“Yvonne,” Elijah said, and if her voice had sounded distressed, his was sharp. “Look at me,” the command was said in a tone he had never used to her before and she did as she was told.
“It doesn’t matter, not to me,” he made her hold his gaze. “You are a normal, red blooded woman and still the same person you were a week ago. I will not let him change how I feel about you or,” he squeezed her hand tighter. “How you feel about yourself. He’s evil, not us.”
Yvonne looked into his eyes and saw the man he was now. For the first time in as long as she could remember she felt herself be supported by someone else. It was an odd feeling, one that she was not sure she liked. But if she were going to be supported, guided, by anyone, she was glad that it was this man.
“Is this how you take care of Orli” she said at last.
“I try,” Elijah patted her hand, smiled, then picked up the tea towel again and began drying pots. “Only it’s not as easy with him. He doesn’t always have your sense, he doesn’t listen.”
Yvonne composed her face and went back to finish the washing up. Move past it, move on. She and Elijah never dwelt on things, they dealt with them and moved on. “I’m sure that’s not true, he hangs on every word you say.”
“He might listen but he doesn’t always believe me. Sometimes I could shake him, he infuriate me so much.”
“Oh Elijah!” and her warm, affectionate smile was back. It made the muscles in Elijah’s stomach relax. “He adores you so much you have him wrapped around your finger.”
“Yeah?” Elijah arched an eyebrow. “I can bully him into what colour we paint the bedroom or make him throw that God-awful frilly shirt away, but I can’t convince him about the important things.”
“Like what?” she pulled the gloves off and stood with her back against the sink, her arms folded over her stomach. She looked more relaxed, happier, than Orli had seen her for a while. She liked Elijah’s company, he realised. Liked talking to him, just being with him. Liked the verbal joust that she didn’t seem to get with anyone else. No one else was quite able to stand up to her without a full on fight. Maybe he could forgive her, if not quite forget.
“Like...” Elijah thought about it, his face screwing up with the effort. Suddenly it brightened. “Like the fact I am not interested in women.”
“Pardon?” Yvonne said, surprised.
“Orli still won’t believe I’m gay, he still thinks I secretly crave sleeping with women and he worries about it,” he was warming to the subject now, his face shinning with animation.
“Are you gay, rather than bisexual?”
“I’m neither of those, I don’t fit into other people’s categories. I can’t see the point of them,” Elijah gave a dismissive shrug. “I could cheerfully strangle Orli on occasions. I mean, how many times do I have to tell him before he actually believes me? I only want him. No women, no other men, no pet sheep. I don’t want anyone or anything but him.”
“Perhaps it’s a good idea to keep him guessing,” Yvonne laughed. “It’ll keep him on his toes and stop him becoming too complacent.”
Elijah shook his head. “I don’t want him worrying, I want him to be sure. I don’t like games.”
And standing just outside in the hall, his hand on the doorframe, Orli, at last, started to be sure.
“Well if you don’t want a bit a of mystery perhaps you should tattoo it on your arm. Better still, tattoo it on Orli’s arm,” Yvonne joked.
“Now there’s an idea. I could easily talk him into having ‘Elijah loves only Orli’ in three inch, black letters on his belly if not his arm,” He looked at Yvonne, eyes full of mischief.
“Goodness, Frank would never forgive you, or Orli for letting you.”
“Or you for suggesting it?”
“Don’t you dare tell him!”
“I won’t if you let Orli make it up to you. A man needs his mum,” Elijah said, and pushed away from the counter. He glanced over at Orli in the doorway, then back at Yvonne. “And we all need peace in our families.” He brushed her arm as he walked out, pausing to squeeze Orli’s hand as he passed. “I’m going to watch telly, be good.”
For a long moment mother and son stood, slightly stunned, and looked at each other. Yvonne was the first to gather herself, her smile rather brittle, before turning to fill the kettle. “Hello dear, have you been there long?”
“Not long,” Orli lied as he pecked his mother on the cheek.
“Coffee?”
“Thank you.”
“Have you had a good day?”
“Yeah I...” Platitudes, they were talking pointless platitudes but at least it was a start. “It looks like I might get promoted again. Nothing special but it’ll mean more money.”
“That’s nice. Carrot cake?”
“Thank you,” Orli said again, he would try. If Elijah could make up, Orli owed it to him to try as well. “I’m sorry about Sunday, I shouldn’t have left like that.”
“It was understandable,” Yvonne mumbled, as she busied herself making coffee.
“I didn’t mean to be rude it was just that...” Orli came to a halt. He had to say this, had to get it off his chest and make things right for Elijah’s sake. Only he wasn’t as good at doing it as Elijah.
He looked sideways at his mother, not wanting to meet her eyes. “I’m sorry I acted badly but I thought you were different to everyone else. I thought you were on our side.”
“I am on your side,” Yvonne said incredulously. “Of course I am.” But Orli wasn’t listening yet.
“I thought you respected Elijah, loved him even.”
“I do.”
“So why did you look?” Now Orli faced her, his cheeks flushed red. It was there, on the tip of his tongue, and he couldn’t stop it. He knew he should, every fibre in his body was screaming at him not to say it. But there were the words, on his lips and he couldn’t stop them falling out.
And much as he knew the pain they would cause a part of him didn’t want to stop.
“Why did you have to be like all the others and want to see Elijah naked and being fucked?” He didn’t spare her the word. He hadn’t meant to say it like that, and certainly not as soon as he entered the room. He hadn’t meant to be so accusatory or cross but he couldn’t help it. Resentment and disappointment bubbled up inside him.
“Orli,” she snapped, but he didn’t hear her.
“Does that sort of thing turn you on?” he asked seriously. “I know it does for a lot of people. Is that your sort of thing?” He heaved in a deep breath and made a conscious effort to calm himself down. Think of Elijah; think of Elijah being reasonable. “I wouldn’t condemn you if it does, I suppose there isn’t any harm in it if you keep it under control and don’t act on...”
“Orlando Jonathan Blanchard Bloom,” Yvonne’s face was set as hard as her voice. She stared at him, white with indignation, her mouth set in a thin, tight line. “I do not enjoy that sort of thing and I will not have you talk this way to me.”
“Mum, I’m just trying to remember that you’re a person as well as my mother,” Orli thought he was being reasonable.
“Stop talking right now young man,” she was furious. “I am your mother, that is the only way you need to think of me.”
“But…”
She laid her hands flat on the counter and stared him down. Orli knew the signs and hesitated. “Whatever else I am is none of your business,” her voice was firm and icy. “I am your mother and you will do as I say. You will not speak to me like this again.”
Orli looked at his mother’s face. He only remembered seeing her this angry on a very few occasions. Once, when he was about eleven, and had deliberately broken his sister Alison’s science project. Yvonne hadn’t smacked him or done much else to him, but her anger seemed to fill the room and surround him till it was all he knew. The feeling, the whole incident, was indelibly printed on his mind and now he was faced with his mother looking at him in the same way.
He felt eleven again, and this time he wished he could be sent to his room to hide from her enraged eyes. “Yes mum,” he said, bowing his head.
“Elijah and I have dealt with this issue and that’s it, it is finished. You will go home now and when you come on Sunday we will not speak about it. Things will be as normal,” she slowly exhaled a deep breath. “There are doors that you can open and others that should remain resolutely closed. At least we have Elijah who knows the difference.”
Orli complied with all his mother’s wishes, but he didn’t necessarily agree with her. And, for the first time, he didn’t see her quite so firmly on their side. It really was just Elijah and him against the world.
+
I’m posting this early as we have people coming tonight and I’ll probably be flat out on the sofa (wine in hand) by the time they’ve gone. It’s too hot for entertaining.
Title: Us Against The World – Damaged story 5
Chapter: Nine
Author: Arabia
Pairing: Elijah/Orli
Rating N17
Disclaimer: Total fiction
Feedback: Is always very much appreciated.
This is NOT a WIP – it is all finished and will be posted once a week.
The first four stories can be found in my memories.
Thank you to my darling otp
grievous_angel for the wonderful beta and all the support, and to annwyn55 for making the beautiful icon that goes with the fic.This story is for Pum. She knows why and it is perfect.
Us Against The World
Chapter Nine
Back at the flat Orli made tea and was achingly practical, sorting out washing, getting things ready for work the next day, even stacking the dishwasher. Elijah leaned against the kitchen cupboards, arms folded across his chest, and watched him as Orli prattled on about nothing.
If Orli wasn’t going to voluntarily talk about this Elijah would just make him.
“We’ve got hardly anything left in the fridge,” Orli said. “I can’t be bothered to go shopping now, we can do it after work tomorrow. Will you pick me up?” He looked at Elijah, at last.
“Are you going to talk to me now?” Elijah asked.
“I am talking to you,” Orli threw mouldy salad in the bin. “I’ve been talking to you.”
“Now try talking about something important,” Elijah said dryly.
“Food is important,” Orli hurled a couple of sprouted potatoes so hard that they almost toppled the dustbin bin over as they went in. “Or do you want to talk about your father again?”
“No, I’d rather talk about your mum.”
“Well I don’t want to talk about her,” Orli’s voice rose.
“Why not?”
“Why do you have to push it? You’re always pushing.”
“Because sometimes you need pushing otherwise you brood on things till they screw you round in circles. Are you sure you got your mum’s reaction right? Are you sure you haven’t misinterpreted this?”
“No, Elijah,” Orli slammed the fridge door shut, annoyance oozing from every pore. “I haven’t got it wrong, I saw her face. She looked for the wrong reasons.”
“So she’s human,” Elijah hitched a shoulder. “Does it matter?”
“She’s not what I thought she was.”
“That’s your problem, not hers.”
“Well gee, thanks for the support,” the sarcasm dripped from every word as Orli shook his head and turned away.
“Orli! Get your arse back here,” Elijah was in no mood for that. Reluctantly Orli came back. “You’re mum looked, so what? I was really good at making people look back then, especially if you consider what was happening. I was doing everything I could to grab attention.”
“But she knows that, she’s not supposed to respond to it.”
“What?” Elijah lifted a sceptical eyebrow. “She’s so pure that she can rise above everything? Bollocks Orlando, you knew what I was doing but when I first met you I could still get you going ‘for the wrong reasons.’” Orli wasn’t the only one who could do sarcasm. “Let’s face it, I still can if I try.”
“That’s different.”
“No it’s not,” Elijah said, exasperated. “You can accept your dad fancied me, why can’t you do the same with your mum?”
“She’s not supposed to.”
“Why not?” This was so stupid Elijah almost felt like laughing. Or maybe pulling his hair out.
“Because how are you supposed to be friends with her if she fancies you?”
“Same way I’m friends with Rose and Stuart. They still drool over me and the jokes about Rose fantasising about us naked aren’t really a joke, you know that. It doesn’t stop us being friends though.” He heaved out a breath and plonked himself down at the little table, ignoring the fact that Orli still stood, hands gripping the back of a chair.
“Orlando, your mum doesn’t really fancy me,” Orli was ready to argue but Elijah would let him. “Trust me, I can tell how people feel about me and I’m not wrong. The pictures might have intrigued her, fascinated her even a little, but that’s it. It doesn’t change how she feels about me or who she is.”
“I wanted her to be different,” Orli said quietly.
Elijah looked over, his eyes clear and serious. “You have to stop putting people on pedestals, thinking they’re perfect. No one is and everyone ends up getting hurt, especially you. You’ve done it before, don’t do it to your mum.”
For a brief moment Orli thought back to all the times he’d hurt Elijah. So selfish, so cruel, so unintended. He’d never hurt anyone else like that, never wanted to, and yet Elijah was still here, still talking sense, still loving him. He wanted Elijah to know just how much he loved him but he didn’t have the words.
He did the only thing he knew, lunging across the kitchen, tipping Elijah back in his chair till he, Elijah and the chair were in a tangle on their backs. Then he set about fucking the life out of him, right there, right on their new kitchen floor.
And Elijah knew exactly what it meant.
+
Elijah had wanted a quick, hot shower but it wasn’t what his body needed. Instead he’d stretch out in the bath letting the hot water soak into every weary bone, every stretched muscle. It had been rough and hard, he had the finger marks to prove it, and he’d be sitting gingerly for a few days at least. They hadn’t done it like that for ages and they’d both needed it.
He stretched as he got out, smiling at the burn inside. Lovely. He really did enjoy feeling like this, all mellow and satisfied and used. Just lovely. But he was exhausted as well, an exhaustion not the result of exercise but one caused by too much emotion. He’d had enough, he just wanted it all to stop for a while.
At least after a fucking like that he should be able to sleep.
Back in the bedroom he slipped into t shirt and boxers and sat on the end of the bed, twisting his towel between his fingers. Orli turned out the light in the hall and hung a freshly ironed shirt on the wardrobe handle. Elijah was quietly grateful he didn’t have to dress up for work.
Orli brushed a hand through Elijah’s hair as he passed and Elijah sighed.
“I’ve had enough Orlando,” Elijah said, surprising himself. “I can’t live at this intensity anymore. As soon as we settle down something else seems to come along and smack us in the face.”
“We get gaps in between the rubbish,” Orli shrugged. “What more can we do?”
“Is that it? Is that the best we can hope for, a few gaps?” he shook his head ironically. “And now I’ve managed to let things get screwed up between you and your parents. That’s too much.”
“So what’s the option?” Orli said. “Leave me? Is that what you want to do to get away from everything?”
“No, I never said that,” again the shake of Elijah’s head.
“Then what are you saying?”
“I’m not leaving. It’s just, shit,” he looked away. “About the only decent thing we had going was your parents and I didn’t want that spoilt.”
“But this isn’t about you,” Orli didn’t try and comfort him. He moved across the room fighting down the resentment that had lain ignored since the afternoon. “This is about me and them.” He faced Elijah again, his back against the chest of drawers, ready to admit the truth he detested.
“My dad hates the fact I’m gay, if truth be told he’s ashamed and disgusted by me. He puts up with it because he loves me, and my mum would kill him if he didn’t. He also loathes - to the point he can’t admit anything about it - the fact he fancied you. It doesn’t matter if you were playing him and he had no choice, he hates the fact and hates you for sitting at the opposite side of the table from him every Sunday, reminding him.”
“Orli...” Elijah tried to talk but Orli would let him.
“No, shut up while I say the rest of this,” Orli took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “And my mum, fuck,” he ran a hand through his hair, pulling at it in an alarming way. “You’re right, I have to accept that my mother isn’t the perfect middle class woman, straight out of a nineteen fifties magazine I always thought she was. Again you’re right, you fascinate her; I’ve known that for a long time. And I have to admit to myself that at least a tiny little bit of that isn’t for the reasons I want. I don’t know if she fancies you, if she just wants to look at you or if she fantasises about you. Lots of women her age do things like that but, whatever it is, I don’t want to know.”
He looked at Elijah straight. “It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with how I think about my mum. Fucking stupid, but I’ve never considered her as a sexual being and it’s weird doing it now. It’s not your fault Elijah, you were just the catalyst that brought all this out in the open.”
“I don’t want to be a catalyst,” Elijah said honestly.
“Tough shit. What are you going to do about it? Leave?”
“Of course not.”
“Then I guess we have to do what we do anytime there’s crap coming our way. We cling onto each other for dear life and ride it out.”
“Orlando,” but this time, when Elijah said the name it was softer, rounder and meant something completely different.
“I’m not going to let any of our parents muck up what we’ve got, I won’t let anyone,” Orli stood defiant. “No one else is important, nothing from outside gets in, we’re too strong for that. It’s us against the world, just like it’s always been.”
“You make it sound easy.”
“Fuck it ‘Lijah, nothing is easy. It was never going to be,” Orli moved closer, tall above Elijah. He waved a hand at the world outside the window. “Half the people out there hate our guts because we’re two blokes. Most of the rest would condemn us if they could be bothered. But I know that it’s just us and who we are that counts, fuck the rest of them.”
Orli cupped Elijah’s face, his thumb rubbing a firm arc under one eye. “You’re a remarkable man,” Orli said, almost as though he was making a scientific observation. “You’re stunning, decent, good and you talk more sense and can handle me better than anyone else I know. It doesn’t matter what my parents or anyone else thinks, I love you for who you are.”
“But what about...” Elijah let his face rest in Orli’s hand as his fingers still picked at the towel.
“No buts,” Orli interrupted. His hand slid down to lift Elijah’s chin. “You know all that, you know we’re strong and you know you’re a decent man that hasn’t caused this, don’t you?” It wasn’t really a question, more a reaffirmation of faith.
“Yeah, I know,” Elijah nodded. “Us against the world. I just kind of lose sight of it at times.”
“Then that’s my job,” Orli smiled. “To remind you. Now get your sorry arse up and come to bed. Let’s forget about the lot of them.” He pulled Elijah up and into a hug, squeezing him gently. Elijah squirmed. “You really have got a sorry arse, haven’t you?” Orli’s smile turned possessive. “Want me to put some cream on it?”
+
Two days, Elijah lasted. Two days and then he couldn’t leave the problem of Yvonne alone. He had too many things hanging over his head to have that there as well. At least that was his justification. It wasn’t the thought of going back to painfully awkward Sunday dinners that made him crack. Whatever the provocation, he rang Yvonne Tuesday night asking if he could just ‘pop in’ on his way home from work the following day.
He told Orli in no uncertain terms he had to be there as well.
Yvonne looked her normal self when he arrived but Elijah could feel the strained atmosphere as soon as he walked through the door. He didn’t like that. She told him to go and sit in the living room whilst she made coffee but he ignored her, following her into the more relaxed kitchen. He sprawled over the counter and picked at her carrot cake with his fingers, the crumbs sticking round his mouth.
“Would you prefer cream or milk in your coffee?” she asked turning round. “I know that... Elijah don’t!” without thinking she rapped the back of his knuckles with her spoon. “You’ll ruin your appetite.”
Elijah looked up at her and grinned. That was more like it. “Oh go on Yvonne, let me have a bit. I can’t last till dinner time.” He painted on a pantomime, starving wretch face and she had no choice but to laugh.
“Well, you shouldn’t really but I suppose a small piece won’t hurt,” she cut an enormous slice of cake and his grin grew bigger.
As she passed over the plate Elijah caught her hand, his fingers gently pressing against hers. “Are we all right now?” he asked softly.
“Yes, of course. It’s just that...”
“Hey,” Elijah interrupted her. “You and I don’t need ‘just that’s.’ I understand.”
“I wish I’d never seen those photographs Elijah,” Yvonne said with a desperate ring of truth. “I don’t think of you that way, I didn’t mean anything by it. It was just...”
“Yvonne,” Elijah cut in again. “Don’t try and explain, it’ll only make it worse. I understand and it doesn’t change who you are or how I feel about you. You’re still my bossy mother in law, or as good as.”
Yvonne pressed her lips tight together in a manner so like Orli’s it made Elijah smile. She felt a little glow warm her insides and she patted his head. “You need a hair cut.”
“Can I get it done after I’ve had my cake?” he grinned once more and they were sorted. The first part was done, now all Elijah had to do was make sure Orli did the rest.
+
Orli arrived about ten minutes later to find Elijah eating scrambled eggs and bacon standing up in the kitchen, chatting to Yvonne. She’d never let Orli do that, even as a child, and he marvelled at Elijah again. He stood just outside the door and watched as Yvonne set down a plate of bread and butter next to Elijah. “How are you now?” she asked quietly. “You’ve had a terribly difficult time.”
Elijah smiled at her, a different sort of smile to the ones he gave Orli. This was full of affection and gentle thanks. “I’m doing better. Things were really rough for a while and I,” he shrugged, briefly. “I got a bit screwed up but Orli kept going on at me till I saw sense,” he reached for some bread and smiled again.
“Good, I’m glad he’s taking care of you. But remember, I’m always here if you need me.”
“Thank you,” Elijah said formally. “And I promise I’ll take care of him too.”
“Oh I know you do,” it was Yvonne’s turn to smile. “Just like I know I have you to thank for this evening.”
“Orli would have got round to sorting things out,” he looked at the sceptical expression on Yvonne’s face and laughed. “Or maybe he’d have just ignored it hoping it’d go away.”
“That sounds more like my son.”
“So I gave him a little push,” he hitched a shoulder. “It’s no big deal.”
“What did you threaten him with?”
This time Elijah laughed high and loud. “Nothing specific but I let the possibilities hang over his head. He scares easily.”
Orli stayed quite and listened, amazed at the ease with which they talked.
“Have you heard from... that man again?” Yvonne asked, bring her coffee to stand near Elijah whilst he finished eating.
“Nope, not for a while.”
“Do you think he’s given up?”
Elijah shrugged. “I can hope but I doubt it. I told him no, then he sent you the pictures. To be honest I’m surprised he hasn’t been in touch again already.”
“Are you worried?”
Again the shrug. “More resigned than worried. He can keep threatening and I’ll keep saying no. If he carries on sending them he’ll eventually run out of things to threaten me with.”
“Are you scared of him?”
“No,” a gentle shake of his head. “Maybe I should be, my mum thinks so, but no. I’ve met evil like him before.”
“Do you hate him?”
“Hate him?” Elijah thought about the idea. “I can’t be bothered to hate him, he isn’t worth it. I just want him to go away.”
“A very healthy attitude,” Yvonne said, collecting up Elijah’s plate and stacking it in the dishwasher as he finished the last of the bread. “Talking about healthy, that wasn’t a very good dinner you’ve just eaten. You should have let me make you some vegetables or a least a salad.”
“Salad with scrambled egg? Yuck. Don’t tell Orli but once in a while you’re allowed an unhealthy treat.”
Again Orli was amazed, this time at how easily they changed subjects, not dwelling on anything. The fact pleased him more than he had imagined.
“Where’s Mr B?” Elijah asked as he helped load the last things.
“It’s the annual general meeting at the golf club, he won’t be back till late,” Yvonne said. “Did you want to see him?”
“Not really,” Elijah admitted, and Yvonne looked at him. “I may like to have things settled but I’ve learnt to do something about the ones I can fix and leave the ones I can’t well alone. Frank is never going to change how he feels.”
“It saddens me greatly, but I think you may well be right,” Yvonne acknowledge. “He was always rather an entrenched man but as he’s got older he’s become plain stubborn. I really am sorry, for his sake as well as the rest of us, but he will never see you for what you are now.”
“It’s all right, we can both handle the status quo. I wouldn’t mind betting that in a couple of months time we go back to mumbling a few words to each other again. I just have to make sure Orli does the same.”
“Oh he will,” Yvonne put the last plate in the dishwasher and ran some hot water to wash the frying pan. “Orli is like his father at times, they can ignore things wonderfully. Let’s make a deal, I’ll make sure Frank never starts the argument again if you do the same with Orli.”
In his hiding place, Orli smiled.
“You’re on,” Elijah said. “And then we can go back to peaceful Sunday lunches.”
“Just as long as you don’t restart the debate with Frank about the causes of world war one,” Yvonne handed him a tea towel. “I don’t think I could stand listening to that any more.”
“Don’t moan,” Elijah smiled. “We both enjoyed that.”
“I’m sure you did, but I suspect you didn’t recap all the salient points in bed that night, as Frank did to me,” she scowled at the memory.
“No,” Elijah elongated the word as a wicked little grin spread across his face. “Orli probably had me thinking about other, more interesting, things in bed.”
Yvonne laughed as she pulled on yellow rubber gloves, little pink spots appearing on her cheeks. Then all of a sudden her face drained of colour and she turned away from Elijah with a barely heard, “Oh.”
Elijah realised what had happened immediately and reached out to touch her but she pulled back. “Hey,” he said softly. “It’s all right.”
“No it’s not,” still she wouldn’t look at him. “As you said, I am practically your mother in law. I should not think things like that.”
Elijah caught hold of her arm and wouldn’t let go. “You might be my ma-in-law but you’re also a woman. You think the fact that Orli and I are so in love is sweet and maybe you get a little turned on by it, so what? There’s no harm in that.”
“But those photographs,” she said desperately, her hand going up to her throat. “They weren’t sweet or about love and I... I reacted to them.” She pulled away again, going to the other side of the kitchen, her back to Elijah.
Orli stood rooted to the spot, horrified.
Again Elijah went after her, pulling at her hand till he could hold it through the thick gloves. “You were meant to react to them. I was trying to make anyone who saw me react, and it came over really well in the photos. He knew that, that’s why he’s using them against me.”
“But you must think so badly of me.”
“Yvonne,” Elijah said, and if her voice had sounded distressed, his was sharp. “Look at me,” the command was said in a tone he had never used to her before and she did as she was told.
“It doesn’t matter, not to me,” he made her hold his gaze. “You are a normal, red blooded woman and still the same person you were a week ago. I will not let him change how I feel about you or,” he squeezed her hand tighter. “How you feel about yourself. He’s evil, not us.”
Yvonne looked into his eyes and saw the man he was now. For the first time in as long as she could remember she felt herself be supported by someone else. It was an odd feeling, one that she was not sure she liked. But if she were going to be supported, guided, by anyone, she was glad that it was this man.
“Is this how you take care of Orli” she said at last.
“I try,” Elijah patted her hand, smiled, then picked up the tea towel again and began drying pots. “Only it’s not as easy with him. He doesn’t always have your sense, he doesn’t listen.”
Yvonne composed her face and went back to finish the washing up. Move past it, move on. She and Elijah never dwelt on things, they dealt with them and moved on. “I’m sure that’s not true, he hangs on every word you say.”
“He might listen but he doesn’t always believe me. Sometimes I could shake him, he infuriate me so much.”
“Oh Elijah!” and her warm, affectionate smile was back. It made the muscles in Elijah’s stomach relax. “He adores you so much you have him wrapped around your finger.”
“Yeah?” Elijah arched an eyebrow. “I can bully him into what colour we paint the bedroom or make him throw that God-awful frilly shirt away, but I can’t convince him about the important things.”
“Like what?” she pulled the gloves off and stood with her back against the sink, her arms folded over her stomach. She looked more relaxed, happier, than Orli had seen her for a while. She liked Elijah’s company, he realised. Liked talking to him, just being with him. Liked the verbal joust that she didn’t seem to get with anyone else. No one else was quite able to stand up to her without a full on fight. Maybe he could forgive her, if not quite forget.
“Like...” Elijah thought about it, his face screwing up with the effort. Suddenly it brightened. “Like the fact I am not interested in women.”
“Pardon?” Yvonne said, surprised.
“Orli still won’t believe I’m gay, he still thinks I secretly crave sleeping with women and he worries about it,” he was warming to the subject now, his face shinning with animation.
“Are you gay, rather than bisexual?”
“I’m neither of those, I don’t fit into other people’s categories. I can’t see the point of them,” Elijah gave a dismissive shrug. “I could cheerfully strangle Orli on occasions. I mean, how many times do I have to tell him before he actually believes me? I only want him. No women, no other men, no pet sheep. I don’t want anyone or anything but him.”
“Perhaps it’s a good idea to keep him guessing,” Yvonne laughed. “It’ll keep him on his toes and stop him becoming too complacent.”
Elijah shook his head. “I don’t want him worrying, I want him to be sure. I don’t like games.”
And standing just outside in the hall, his hand on the doorframe, Orli, at last, started to be sure.
“Well if you don’t want a bit a of mystery perhaps you should tattoo it on your arm. Better still, tattoo it on Orli’s arm,” Yvonne joked.
“Now there’s an idea. I could easily talk him into having ‘Elijah loves only Orli’ in three inch, black letters on his belly if not his arm,” He looked at Yvonne, eyes full of mischief.
“Goodness, Frank would never forgive you, or Orli for letting you.”
“Or you for suggesting it?”
“Don’t you dare tell him!”
“I won’t if you let Orli make it up to you. A man needs his mum,” Elijah said, and pushed away from the counter. He glanced over at Orli in the doorway, then back at Yvonne. “And we all need peace in our families.” He brushed her arm as he walked out, pausing to squeeze Orli’s hand as he passed. “I’m going to watch telly, be good.”
For a long moment mother and son stood, slightly stunned, and looked at each other. Yvonne was the first to gather herself, her smile rather brittle, before turning to fill the kettle. “Hello dear, have you been there long?”
“Not long,” Orli lied as he pecked his mother on the cheek.
“Coffee?”
“Thank you.”
“Have you had a good day?”
“Yeah I...” Platitudes, they were talking pointless platitudes but at least it was a start. “It looks like I might get promoted again. Nothing special but it’ll mean more money.”
“That’s nice. Carrot cake?”
“Thank you,” Orli said again, he would try. If Elijah could make up, Orli owed it to him to try as well. “I’m sorry about Sunday, I shouldn’t have left like that.”
“It was understandable,” Yvonne mumbled, as she busied herself making coffee.
“I didn’t mean to be rude it was just that...” Orli came to a halt. He had to say this, had to get it off his chest and make things right for Elijah’s sake. Only he wasn’t as good at doing it as Elijah.
He looked sideways at his mother, not wanting to meet her eyes. “I’m sorry I acted badly but I thought you were different to everyone else. I thought you were on our side.”
“I am on your side,” Yvonne said incredulously. “Of course I am.” But Orli wasn’t listening yet.
“I thought you respected Elijah, loved him even.”
“I do.”
“So why did you look?” Now Orli faced her, his cheeks flushed red. It was there, on the tip of his tongue, and he couldn’t stop it. He knew he should, every fibre in his body was screaming at him not to say it. But there were the words, on his lips and he couldn’t stop them falling out.
And much as he knew the pain they would cause a part of him didn’t want to stop.
“Why did you have to be like all the others and want to see Elijah naked and being fucked?” He didn’t spare her the word. He hadn’t meant to say it like that, and certainly not as soon as he entered the room. He hadn’t meant to be so accusatory or cross but he couldn’t help it. Resentment and disappointment bubbled up inside him.
“Orli,” she snapped, but he didn’t hear her.
“Does that sort of thing turn you on?” he asked seriously. “I know it does for a lot of people. Is that your sort of thing?” He heaved in a deep breath and made a conscious effort to calm himself down. Think of Elijah; think of Elijah being reasonable. “I wouldn’t condemn you if it does, I suppose there isn’t any harm in it if you keep it under control and don’t act on...”
“Orlando Jonathan Blanchard Bloom,” Yvonne’s face was set as hard as her voice. She stared at him, white with indignation, her mouth set in a thin, tight line. “I do not enjoy that sort of thing and I will not have you talk this way to me.”
“Mum, I’m just trying to remember that you’re a person as well as my mother,” Orli thought he was being reasonable.
“Stop talking right now young man,” she was furious. “I am your mother, that is the only way you need to think of me.”
“But…”
She laid her hands flat on the counter and stared him down. Orli knew the signs and hesitated. “Whatever else I am is none of your business,” her voice was firm and icy. “I am your mother and you will do as I say. You will not speak to me like this again.”
Orli looked at his mother’s face. He only remembered seeing her this angry on a very few occasions. Once, when he was about eleven, and had deliberately broken his sister Alison’s science project. Yvonne hadn’t smacked him or done much else to him, but her anger seemed to fill the room and surround him till it was all he knew. The feeling, the whole incident, was indelibly printed on his mind and now he was faced with his mother looking at him in the same way.
He felt eleven again, and this time he wished he could be sent to his room to hide from her enraged eyes. “Yes mum,” he said, bowing his head.
“Elijah and I have dealt with this issue and that’s it, it is finished. You will go home now and when you come on Sunday we will not speak about it. Things will be as normal,” she slowly exhaled a deep breath. “There are doors that you can open and others that should remain resolutely closed. At least we have Elijah who knows the difference.”
Orli complied with all his mother’s wishes, but he didn’t necessarily agree with her. And, for the first time, he didn’t see her quite so firmly on their side. It really was just Elijah and him against the world.
+