ext_17740 (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
m-l-h.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fellowshippers2003-10-08 02:32 pm
m-l-h.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2003-10-08 02:32 pm
Drabbles
These 3 drabbles are a prequel to a much longer fic I'll be writing very soon.
TITLE : Prequel to Run (cautiously titled so, and is very likely to change!)
RATING : PG-13 for language
PAIRING : None, really
NOTES : A prequel to a fic I'm going to start writing very soon.
FEEDBACK : It'd be nice to know if it's worth my while continuing...
NOTES : If you haven't figured out who's POV it is by the end, let me know and I'll tell ya ;)
How did I end up here? I wish I fucking knew. Billy says I was misguided. Dom and Andy tell me I’m just plain stupid. Viggo hasn’t said anything. That hurts the most. Not the lectures from Dom, or Andy pointing out all my mistakes, and what I should’ve done. What hurts is that he doesn’t speak to me, because it hurts him too much. I didn’t know I was causing him so much pain, but I do now. Now I know what I’ve lost, what I could’ve, and should’ve, had, but was too fucked up and stupid to realise.
I always learn the hard way. I can never take advice, even when it comes from the wisest of people. I never listen. I’m stubborn. I want what I want, and I want it when I want it. I want everything my way, or no way at all. I get frustrated. I get angry. I get violent. I refuse to see what’s right in front of my face, even when it’s clear as day. It’s only now, now that my world has come crashing down around me that I can admit this. But is it all too late for me?
I hate feeling trapped. I’ve spent too long being trapped, when I could have been free. And now I really am trapped. Physically and emotionally, harsh and true. The cold in the air, the walls, the floor, is not the cold that chills my bones. The worry in my mind is not because I am physically trapped in this place. The pain I feel is not due to a hangover, or swift blow to the stomach. It’s him. I’m cold because he’s shutting me out. I’m worried because I don’t know what he’s thinking. I’m in pain because he is.
But how did I end up here? Really, how the fuck did I end up here?
TITLE : Prequel to Run (cautiously titled so, and is very likely to change!)
RATING : PG-13 for language
PAIRING : None, really
NOTES : A prequel to a fic I'm going to start writing very soon.
FEEDBACK : It'd be nice to know if it's worth my while continuing...
NOTES : If you haven't figured out who's POV it is by the end, let me know and I'll tell ya ;)
How did I end up here? I wish I fucking knew. Billy says I was misguided. Dom and Andy tell me I’m just plain stupid. Viggo hasn’t said anything. That hurts the most. Not the lectures from Dom, or Andy pointing out all my mistakes, and what I should’ve done. What hurts is that he doesn’t speak to me, because it hurts him too much. I didn’t know I was causing him so much pain, but I do now. Now I know what I’ve lost, what I could’ve, and should’ve, had, but was too fucked up and stupid to realise.
I always learn the hard way. I can never take advice, even when it comes from the wisest of people. I never listen. I’m stubborn. I want what I want, and I want it when I want it. I want everything my way, or no way at all. I get frustrated. I get angry. I get violent. I refuse to see what’s right in front of my face, even when it’s clear as day. It’s only now, now that my world has come crashing down around me that I can admit this. But is it all too late for me?
I hate feeling trapped. I’ve spent too long being trapped, when I could have been free. And now I really am trapped. Physically and emotionally, harsh and true. The cold in the air, the walls, the floor, is not the cold that chills my bones. The worry in my mind is not because I am physically trapped in this place. The pain I feel is not due to a hangover, or swift blow to the stomach. It’s him. I’m cold because he’s shutting me out. I’m worried because I don’t know what he’s thinking. I’m in pain because he is.
But how did I end up here? Really, how the fuck did I end up here?