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fellowshippers2006-02-23 12:21 am
pecos.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2006-02-23 12:21 am
Just a silly diversion...
Greetings, my sisters in slash. While knocking around my computer today I came across a fairly old story of mine that I think has never seen the light of day in this venue, and of which I'm quite fond. It's a very short, silly little Crack!Fic that I wrote in homage to all the wonderful Wing!Fics which were making the rounds some time long ago. Set in NZ during the filming, and making no sense whatsoever, I hope some of you might still enjoy:
TITLE: Telling Tails (1/1)
AUTHOR: Pecos – Pecosphil@sprintmail.com
WEBSITE: www.chimerafic.com
BETA: none – sorry, hope it doesn’t show
PAIRING: the usual suspects
RATING: PG – pretty tame. M/M
CATEGORY: Crack!Fic
FEEDBACK: remember the golden rule, (please!)
DISCLAIMER: I don’t make the toys, I’m
only playing with them. No money made,
nor disrespect intended
NOTES: written in response to all of those strange,
yet strangely compelling Wing!Fics... thus
I wish to introduce Tail!Fic
Dominic was the first.
He was primping for a date with a bucket full of cold Speights and his Hobbit mates when he noticed the lump at the base of his spine. He figured it was a boil-in-training, and promptly forgot it. It was still there the next morning, as he showered before heading off to Stone Street for another absolutely riveting day of watching Richard battle with a truncated Ent puppet (yes, Dom thought in puns...it was one of his better qualities). Anyway, the lump was even bigger – the boil to end all boils – and he figured that when it finally broke he could share the gory glory with Elijah. That would make sweet little Frodo’s whole week. He spent the day scratching distractedly until Billy finally asked him if his thong had shrunk in the wash. He assured Billy that he didn’t bother to wash his thongs, thanks very much. That night the boil was hard and warm and starting to worry him.
By morning it was a nub – no doubt about it. Hard, smooth, and moveable beneath the skin. He decided against bringing it to the set medic’s attention. Brooke still hadn’t forgiven him for that whole Splinter of Doom incident. Nothing was gushing blood, so that meant that he’d live, and that was good enough for Dom. Over the course of a week it grew longer, smoother, and more sensitive, with a soft dusting of short, pale hair. When curious fingers confirmed that his tail was now longer than this cock, even in full combat mode, he was strangely proud.
When it started to move, he was quite happy. He found that he could lash it from side to side, and it finally got long enough that he could pull it around to the front and give the silly thing a good looking over. It was a tail, and that was the end of the discussion. At least it wasn’t red and pointed, or he’d have to watch out for horns too.
By the time they had Treebeard performing to Richard’s standards Dominic’s tail reached all the way to the back of his knee. He dressed right, tucking it down his pants, stroking it occasionally where the ridge of flesh ran down the back of his leg. Billy didn’t comment any more...but he didn’t hang around the showers at the gym either.
A deliriously anticipated pair of days off arrived and the Hobbits-n-Orli had a surf date. Dominic was in the men’s room on the beach, trying to figure out how to work this whole tail thing under a wetsuit when Orlando came through the door and froze.
“You better not be staring at my considerable Man bulge,” Dom warned him, trying to stuff his misbehaving tail down the tight rubber suit’s leg and utterly failing.
“Is that what you call it?” Orlando laughed, suddenly delighted. He moved closer and took Dom’s tail in his warm palms, stroking it appreciatively. “This is beautiful! Like a puma’s. So smooth and soft!”
That felt altogether too, too nice, having his tail petted, and Dom’s brow creased in irritation – though whether at himself or Orli, he couldn’t tell. He was having trouble composing a snotty reply. This was clear indication of how rattled he really was.
“Why not bring it around front, like this,” Orlando offered, wrapping Dom’s tail around his hip and up to his belly. Long fingers pressed the tail into place and helped pull the wetsuit up to cover it. Dom turned to the mirror, checking his image, finding that it didn’t show as much as he’d thought it would.
“Nice, thanks mate,” he mumbled, hunching his arms back and squirming to get the rest of his suit on. “And thanks for not freaking out.”
“Mine is more flexible, I think,” Orlando continued, taking over the mirror to zjuzh his hair, like it wasn’t going to get plastered the second they hit the surf.
Dom blinked twice, then stammered, “It...what?” He finally realized that the ridge going up the back of Orli’s suit wasn’t just his spine.
“I think it’s something in the water,” Orlando quipped, and then was out the door, yelling greetings to the other Hobbits, commenting on the state of Billy’s board.
It was late that night before Dom was finally able to get Orlando alone in the bathroom of Billy’s hilltop apartment, and he locked the door behind them. “Can I see yours? Please?”
Orlando grinned at him and wrinkled his nose, leaning in close. “For a kiss...sure. After all, not just anybody can stroke my tail.”
“That’s not what I’ve heard,” Dom managed to say before Orli’s gentle lips had claimed his mouth, quickly becoming less than gentle. By the time Dom’s heart had restarted the Elf had retreated, smirking, and was undoing his pants. Orlando’s tail was long and very lush, like a golden retriever’s, with soft black hair hanging in waves. It curled up to a forty-five degree angle and wagged happily. Slender and sleek and showy, just like the rest of him. It was completely stunning...of course.
“I’ve had to take almost everything off the counters and tables at my house,” Orlando confessed. “It wags pretty much all the time, especially if I’m in a good mood. Viggo has banned me from his studio unless I’m dressed.”
That was just a whole lot of information to process, starting with the image of Orli wagging his tail, and progressing to the idea of his wandering around Viggo’s place naked. “Uh, Viggo? You...uh, he...does he have one too?”
“Viggo grow a tail?” Orli laughed. “Hardly! He says that since everyone’s got one he’ll skip it. Ever the non-conformist, our King.”
“Everyone’s got one?” Dom stammered. “Uh, er, right. Uh, when did this happen?”
“Over the last month. I told you, I think it’s the water.” Orli was already opening the bathroom door, pulling his jeans up high enough to cover his crotch, but leaving his tail out, poking through a hole cut in his plaid boxers. He actually looked pretty fashionable. Dom didn’t know what to do except follow him back to the main room, where Elijah was geeking out in a Playstation duel with Billy and Sean.
“Anybody mind if I hang out?” Orli asked, black tail swishing happily.
“Suit yer’self,” Billy said, shoving Elijah in an effort to make him lose concentration. “Ya bastard, you can’t steal the police car!”
“Just watch me!” Elijah sneered.
Dom caught Sean’s eye and blinked hard at the mischievous twinkle. “You’ve got one too?” he asked Astin, not knowing his tail etiquette.
“Not like Orlando’s,” Sean said dismissively. “Mine’s more like a mutt’s. Doesn’t do much, just sorta makes buying pants a trial.”
“Leave it to Orli to get all fancy wit his arse,” Billy grumbled.
Orlando’s tail swept a sheaf of papers off the side table. “Oops, sorry,” he apologized, bending over to retrieve them.
Dominic was now focused on Billy, despite Orlando’s obvious showing off. “You too, Bills? Can I, uh, can I see yours?”
The Scot was still watching Elijah’s game, but he stood and unbuckled his pants, hitching them down far enough to free his coltish tail. Sandy blonde hair, hanging in small curls; the tail gave a few quick whisks before he caught it and stuffed it back in his pants. Billy was back on the couch in a moment, complaining as Elijah crashed the car through a church and ran over a Bishop in mid-communion. “Extra points!” Elwood bragged.
“Show ‘em your puma,” Orlando urged, somehow acquiring a fresh beer without leaving the room. “You gotta see Sblomie’s, mates. It’s a beaut.”
Astin was the only one who looked interested, but Dominic eased his tail up out of his pants leg anyway, thinking that this was as good a time as any to come out of the proverbial tail closet. It lashed a few times, mirroring his nervousness at exposing his new accessory.
“Oy, that is pretty, that is,” Billy agreed. “Nice length, too.” Dominic had a sudden urge to let Billy stroke his tail, but he resisted.
“You mind?” Elijah snapped, pushing the offending appendage out of his way. Dom hadn’t realized that he’d let it swing in front of the television screen.
“Elijah’s hasn’t come in much yet,” Orlando explained, trying to sound sympathetic, but clearly just amused. “He’s only got the nub so far. He might be a tad tail retarded.”
“Fuck you – ah, shit! See what you made me do, Orli?” Six cars smashed into each other in the midst of a Chinatown festival and flames erupted on the TV screen.
“My turn!” Billy declared. “Give over!”
“Bastards,” Elijah the angel-faced grumped, getting up. “I’m cracking that bottle of vodka. Anyone else need anything from the kitchen?”
“Bring me a Coke, please,” Astin said.
“Get me an opener, mate,” Billy piped in. “I’ve got me a big ‘ol can of whoop-ass here.”
Orlando winced. “Please, Billy, some things should never be said with a Scots accent.”
“Ah, go put yer tail in rollers.”
“Hmmm, you think that would look nice?” Orlando asked.
Dominic had assumed that everyone’s tail came in with the same color fur as the shade of their hair, but Liv’s tail was white, and plush, like a Persian cat’s. She showed it to him shyly, like it was still a secret. Ian’s resembled nothing Dom could think of, but curled in the most adorable question mark shape, quivering a little. Ian stroked Dominic’s own tail for several minutes, complimenting it on every account, and Dom finally had to remove himself before something embarrassing transpired. Yes, he definitely liked have it petted, and by anyone. The girls in wardrobe seemed completely nonplussed by the adjustments he finally requested, commenting that it was good he hadn’t gotten as extravagant as JRD. He never did understand exactly what they meant, and was not quite comfortable enough with the older actor to ask.
He mistakenly walked in on Viggo kissing Orlando in a props room, and Orli’s back was arched, tail out – stiff and upright, reaching clear to the space between his shoulder blades, trembling with excitement. It was an odd, and erotic sight.
It was another week before Elijah called him excitedly on a day off. “Dommie, can you come over?”
“I was sleeping,” Monaghan complained, stretching and rolling over, his tail stretching as well.
“My tail finally came in!” Elijah enthused. “Please, I didn’t want to call any of the other guys, I wanted you to see it first!”
Hmm...another mysterious case of tail etiquette. Someone was going to have to write a book. “I’ll be over in a few, Frodo.” He thought it was kinda nice that Wood wanted to share with him.
Dominic let Elijah close the door behind him, laughing at the baggy pajamas the scrawny American was wearing. They were decorated with Star Wars characters, ‘Jar Jar Binks’ embroidered on the breast pocket. “Well?” he questioned.
Elijah turned around, showing that he’d torn a hole in the bottoms to free his newly grown tail. Dominic’s breath caught in his throat. It was beautiful. Very long, plush, ringed in soft concentric fur bands of white and black, and clearly prehensile. Elijah lashed it happily.
“I think it looks like a Lemur’s. I can almost pick stuff up already!”
Dominic was nodding. “That’s gorgeous, Doodle. I’m glad it took a while, if this is what you grew.”
“Can I see yours again?” Elijah asked, suddenly shy. Yeah, someone was definitely going to have to come up with some rules about admiring each other’s tails. This just felt a bit too much like flirting. Dom freed his own tail and was surprised to find it lashing quickly from side to side, working on a mind of its own.
“You can touch it,” Dom offered, knowing that he was looking forward to feeling Elijah’s soft hands on his tail.
But Elijah didn’t grab his extremity. Instead he pressed in close and claimed Dominic’s lips. It wasn’t the kind of kiss you give your sister. It was very hot, and demanding, and...well...nicer even than having your tail stroked. Dom moaned into the contact as raised his hands to cup Elijah’s face. Several moments passed and Dom realized that Elijah’s tail had circled around their bodies and was now curled tightly around Dom’s, stroking it with a firm touch; the soft hair sending chills right up his spine.
“Oh,” Dom moaned into Elijah’s mouth. “Now I get it...now I know what they’re for.”
TITLE: Telling Tails (1/1)
AUTHOR: Pecos – Pecosphil@sprintmail.com
WEBSITE: www.chimerafic.com
BETA: none – sorry, hope it doesn’t show
PAIRING: the usual suspects
RATING: PG – pretty tame. M/M
CATEGORY: Crack!Fic
FEEDBACK: remember the golden rule, (please!)
DISCLAIMER: I don’t make the toys, I’m
only playing with them. No money made,
nor disrespect intended
NOTES: written in response to all of those strange,
yet strangely compelling Wing!Fics... thus
I wish to introduce Tail!Fic
Dominic was the first.
He was primping for a date with a bucket full of cold Speights and his Hobbit mates when he noticed the lump at the base of his spine. He figured it was a boil-in-training, and promptly forgot it. It was still there the next morning, as he showered before heading off to Stone Street for another absolutely riveting day of watching Richard battle with a truncated Ent puppet (yes, Dom thought in puns...it was one of his better qualities). Anyway, the lump was even bigger – the boil to end all boils – and he figured that when it finally broke he could share the gory glory with Elijah. That would make sweet little Frodo’s whole week. He spent the day scratching distractedly until Billy finally asked him if his thong had shrunk in the wash. He assured Billy that he didn’t bother to wash his thongs, thanks very much. That night the boil was hard and warm and starting to worry him.
By morning it was a nub – no doubt about it. Hard, smooth, and moveable beneath the skin. He decided against bringing it to the set medic’s attention. Brooke still hadn’t forgiven him for that whole Splinter of Doom incident. Nothing was gushing blood, so that meant that he’d live, and that was good enough for Dom. Over the course of a week it grew longer, smoother, and more sensitive, with a soft dusting of short, pale hair. When curious fingers confirmed that his tail was now longer than this cock, even in full combat mode, he was strangely proud.
When it started to move, he was quite happy. He found that he could lash it from side to side, and it finally got long enough that he could pull it around to the front and give the silly thing a good looking over. It was a tail, and that was the end of the discussion. At least it wasn’t red and pointed, or he’d have to watch out for horns too.
By the time they had Treebeard performing to Richard’s standards Dominic’s tail reached all the way to the back of his knee. He dressed right, tucking it down his pants, stroking it occasionally where the ridge of flesh ran down the back of his leg. Billy didn’t comment any more...but he didn’t hang around the showers at the gym either.
A deliriously anticipated pair of days off arrived and the Hobbits-n-Orli had a surf date. Dominic was in the men’s room on the beach, trying to figure out how to work this whole tail thing under a wetsuit when Orlando came through the door and froze.
“You better not be staring at my considerable Man bulge,” Dom warned him, trying to stuff his misbehaving tail down the tight rubber suit’s leg and utterly failing.
“Is that what you call it?” Orlando laughed, suddenly delighted. He moved closer and took Dom’s tail in his warm palms, stroking it appreciatively. “This is beautiful! Like a puma’s. So smooth and soft!”
That felt altogether too, too nice, having his tail petted, and Dom’s brow creased in irritation – though whether at himself or Orli, he couldn’t tell. He was having trouble composing a snotty reply. This was clear indication of how rattled he really was.
“Why not bring it around front, like this,” Orlando offered, wrapping Dom’s tail around his hip and up to his belly. Long fingers pressed the tail into place and helped pull the wetsuit up to cover it. Dom turned to the mirror, checking his image, finding that it didn’t show as much as he’d thought it would.
“Nice, thanks mate,” he mumbled, hunching his arms back and squirming to get the rest of his suit on. “And thanks for not freaking out.”
“Mine is more flexible, I think,” Orlando continued, taking over the mirror to zjuzh his hair, like it wasn’t going to get plastered the second they hit the surf.
Dom blinked twice, then stammered, “It...what?” He finally realized that the ridge going up the back of Orli’s suit wasn’t just his spine.
“I think it’s something in the water,” Orlando quipped, and then was out the door, yelling greetings to the other Hobbits, commenting on the state of Billy’s board.
It was late that night before Dom was finally able to get Orlando alone in the bathroom of Billy’s hilltop apartment, and he locked the door behind them. “Can I see yours? Please?”
Orlando grinned at him and wrinkled his nose, leaning in close. “For a kiss...sure. After all, not just anybody can stroke my tail.”
“That’s not what I’ve heard,” Dom managed to say before Orli’s gentle lips had claimed his mouth, quickly becoming less than gentle. By the time Dom’s heart had restarted the Elf had retreated, smirking, and was undoing his pants. Orlando’s tail was long and very lush, like a golden retriever’s, with soft black hair hanging in waves. It curled up to a forty-five degree angle and wagged happily. Slender and sleek and showy, just like the rest of him. It was completely stunning...of course.
“I’ve had to take almost everything off the counters and tables at my house,” Orlando confessed. “It wags pretty much all the time, especially if I’m in a good mood. Viggo has banned me from his studio unless I’m dressed.”
That was just a whole lot of information to process, starting with the image of Orli wagging his tail, and progressing to the idea of his wandering around Viggo’s place naked. “Uh, Viggo? You...uh, he...does he have one too?”
“Viggo grow a tail?” Orli laughed. “Hardly! He says that since everyone’s got one he’ll skip it. Ever the non-conformist, our King.”
“Everyone’s got one?” Dom stammered. “Uh, er, right. Uh, when did this happen?”
“Over the last month. I told you, I think it’s the water.” Orli was already opening the bathroom door, pulling his jeans up high enough to cover his crotch, but leaving his tail out, poking through a hole cut in his plaid boxers. He actually looked pretty fashionable. Dom didn’t know what to do except follow him back to the main room, where Elijah was geeking out in a Playstation duel with Billy and Sean.
“Anybody mind if I hang out?” Orli asked, black tail swishing happily.
“Suit yer’self,” Billy said, shoving Elijah in an effort to make him lose concentration. “Ya bastard, you can’t steal the police car!”
“Just watch me!” Elijah sneered.
Dom caught Sean’s eye and blinked hard at the mischievous twinkle. “You’ve got one too?” he asked Astin, not knowing his tail etiquette.
“Not like Orlando’s,” Sean said dismissively. “Mine’s more like a mutt’s. Doesn’t do much, just sorta makes buying pants a trial.”
“Leave it to Orli to get all fancy wit his arse,” Billy grumbled.
Orlando’s tail swept a sheaf of papers off the side table. “Oops, sorry,” he apologized, bending over to retrieve them.
Dominic was now focused on Billy, despite Orlando’s obvious showing off. “You too, Bills? Can I, uh, can I see yours?”
The Scot was still watching Elijah’s game, but he stood and unbuckled his pants, hitching them down far enough to free his coltish tail. Sandy blonde hair, hanging in small curls; the tail gave a few quick whisks before he caught it and stuffed it back in his pants. Billy was back on the couch in a moment, complaining as Elijah crashed the car through a church and ran over a Bishop in mid-communion. “Extra points!” Elwood bragged.
“Show ‘em your puma,” Orlando urged, somehow acquiring a fresh beer without leaving the room. “You gotta see Sblomie’s, mates. It’s a beaut.”
Astin was the only one who looked interested, but Dominic eased his tail up out of his pants leg anyway, thinking that this was as good a time as any to come out of the proverbial tail closet. It lashed a few times, mirroring his nervousness at exposing his new accessory.
“Oy, that is pretty, that is,” Billy agreed. “Nice length, too.” Dominic had a sudden urge to let Billy stroke his tail, but he resisted.
“You mind?” Elijah snapped, pushing the offending appendage out of his way. Dom hadn’t realized that he’d let it swing in front of the television screen.
“Elijah’s hasn’t come in much yet,” Orlando explained, trying to sound sympathetic, but clearly just amused. “He’s only got the nub so far. He might be a tad tail retarded.”
“Fuck you – ah, shit! See what you made me do, Orli?” Six cars smashed into each other in the midst of a Chinatown festival and flames erupted on the TV screen.
“My turn!” Billy declared. “Give over!”
“Bastards,” Elijah the angel-faced grumped, getting up. “I’m cracking that bottle of vodka. Anyone else need anything from the kitchen?”
“Bring me a Coke, please,” Astin said.
“Get me an opener, mate,” Billy piped in. “I’ve got me a big ‘ol can of whoop-ass here.”
Orlando winced. “Please, Billy, some things should never be said with a Scots accent.”
“Ah, go put yer tail in rollers.”
“Hmmm, you think that would look nice?” Orlando asked.
Dominic had assumed that everyone’s tail came in with the same color fur as the shade of their hair, but Liv’s tail was white, and plush, like a Persian cat’s. She showed it to him shyly, like it was still a secret. Ian’s resembled nothing Dom could think of, but curled in the most adorable question mark shape, quivering a little. Ian stroked Dominic’s own tail for several minutes, complimenting it on every account, and Dom finally had to remove himself before something embarrassing transpired. Yes, he definitely liked have it petted, and by anyone. The girls in wardrobe seemed completely nonplussed by the adjustments he finally requested, commenting that it was good he hadn’t gotten as extravagant as JRD. He never did understand exactly what they meant, and was not quite comfortable enough with the older actor to ask.
He mistakenly walked in on Viggo kissing Orlando in a props room, and Orli’s back was arched, tail out – stiff and upright, reaching clear to the space between his shoulder blades, trembling with excitement. It was an odd, and erotic sight.
It was another week before Elijah called him excitedly on a day off. “Dommie, can you come over?”
“I was sleeping,” Monaghan complained, stretching and rolling over, his tail stretching as well.
“My tail finally came in!” Elijah enthused. “Please, I didn’t want to call any of the other guys, I wanted you to see it first!”
Hmm...another mysterious case of tail etiquette. Someone was going to have to write a book. “I’ll be over in a few, Frodo.” He thought it was kinda nice that Wood wanted to share with him.
Dominic let Elijah close the door behind him, laughing at the baggy pajamas the scrawny American was wearing. They were decorated with Star Wars characters, ‘Jar Jar Binks’ embroidered on the breast pocket. “Well?” he questioned.
Elijah turned around, showing that he’d torn a hole in the bottoms to free his newly grown tail. Dominic’s breath caught in his throat. It was beautiful. Very long, plush, ringed in soft concentric fur bands of white and black, and clearly prehensile. Elijah lashed it happily.
“I think it looks like a Lemur’s. I can almost pick stuff up already!”
Dominic was nodding. “That’s gorgeous, Doodle. I’m glad it took a while, if this is what you grew.”
“Can I see yours again?” Elijah asked, suddenly shy. Yeah, someone was definitely going to have to come up with some rules about admiring each other’s tails. This just felt a bit too much like flirting. Dom freed his own tail and was surprised to find it lashing quickly from side to side, working on a mind of its own.
“You can touch it,” Dom offered, knowing that he was looking forward to feeling Elijah’s soft hands on his tail.
But Elijah didn’t grab his extremity. Instead he pressed in close and claimed Dominic’s lips. It wasn’t the kind of kiss you give your sister. It was very hot, and demanding, and...well...nicer even than having your tail stroked. Dom moaned into the contact as raised his hands to cup Elijah’s face. Several moments passed and Dom realized that Elijah’s tail had circled around their bodies and was now curled tightly around Dom’s, stroking it with a firm touch; the soft hair sending chills right up his spine.
“Oh,” Dom moaned into Elijah’s mouth. “Now I get it...now I know what they’re for.”
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I loved this line:
“He’s only got the nub so far. He might be a tad tail retarded.”
I laughed so hard people at work wanted me to send them the joke I was reading -- not likely, LOL!
I loved how each of the tails really reflected them so well personally -- just perfect. Then you ended it so sweetly. Great job, you made my morning.
Cheers, rb
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Ooops. *looks at where my tail just dropped off* I lost mine....
I really needed this bit of a pick-me-up this morning, luv. Thanks so much for dusting it off to share. The thought of Viggo kissing Orlando and making his tail stand up like that just sent me cracking up out of my chair! You've even mastered having their tails in character!
*still laughing!*
Better go before
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What's YOUR excuse, missy?
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You are a GODDESS!
He just looks *pained*, doesn't he?
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He does look *pained*. Any ideas of what exactly's going on in Sidi's mind there?
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