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fellowshippers2006-02-05 07:40 pm
hanarobi.livejournal.com) wrote in fellowshippers2006-02-05 07:40 pm
Wing Development: Flourishing (part one)
Wing Development: Flourish (part one)
Author: Hanarobi (hanarobi_muse@yahoo.com)
Pairing/Rating: ew/dm pg-13
Disclaimer: Not true. No profit.
I don’t know how I came to be
All winged and feathery.
I only know that since I am
I’m happy that it’s you with me.
Dom could only stare at the red construction paper heart with its fancy cursive writing and romantic flourishes. He read the poem once more (god, would this even qualify as a poem? Surely there is a Hall of Standards somewhere, judging and evaluating these kinds of things, and this poor little piece of doggerel shite wouldn’t stand a chance), bringing the total of times read to four. Repetition did not improve rhyme, cadence, or sentiment. Repetition improved the poem fuckall and no two ways about it.
Lovers can be difficult. Oblivious lovers impossible. But romantic oblivious lovers were the worst. Hands down, bob’s your uncle, discussion’s done and over an hour ago.
And still the gobshite expects a response. Dom chewed on his biro. Well, pen. An infinite variety of pens. Now why the hell did the most powerful country in the world, fuck that, in the history of the world, thank ya kindly, want to waste even an iota of their wealth on having 500 different types of pens. And there were 500. He’d counted. Did a google search and just kept the list going. For a couple of weeks. During his ‘down’ period.
And here’s Dominic Mohanty, fresh from his supporting role as Pippin in the Lords of the Rings sequel, on the red carpet. Tell us, Dominic, what was it like to work with Orlando Bloom, the hottest thing to ever come out of Hollywood?
Dom would then imagine stabbing the annoying reporter with his “nice, shiny dagger” while enumerating the errors and/or irritations in her opening statement. Work with both Sir Ians, and Chris Lee, and the bloody knobs asked about Orlando. Orlando? What was it like to work with Orlando? I’ll tell you what it was like to work with Orlando-didn’t-have-any-lines-and-it-damn-sure-wasn’t-because-he-was-an-elf-Bloom.
And then of course, Dom would feel terrible because he had learned to be loving and happy and centered and mature and he honestly was good mates with Orlando and really did wish him all the best, not that Orlando needed his well wishes given that he was off being even better mates with the Hollywood A-list (and those that actually deserved to be A-list)…and he had this beautiful girl friend, a blond starlet no less, and…
And then Dom growls at himself and rolls off the couch, stupid fucking valentine still in his hand, because what the fuck was he doing being jealous of Orlando with his girlfriend when he, Dominic Monaghan, the one and only, had the world’s most beautiful man as his own.
He was a lower than a lowly unworthy fart from the ass of one Billy Boyd. While said Boyd’s ass was clad in pink girly knickers. A Boyd fart trapped in pink knickers. Very low indeed. He felt rather badly for the fart.
Call Hannah! Brilliant. Ah, that Monaghan chap. The whole deal he was. Incredibly sexy body and a mind to rival Einstein’s. Elijah was the luckiest man in the world. Simple as that.
“HANNAH-NO-MAH, NAH-MEEE, HANNIEEEEE!”
Years of practice had taught Hannah to instantly recognize Dom’s voice over the phone and to hold the phone away from her ear until his initial greeting had wound down.
“Dominic, how lovely to have my eardrum pierced by you. Again.”
“Hannah, Hannah, Hannah….” Followed by sounds that made it seem as if Dom were trying to slurp up the phone. Which he might very well be doing. Probably was. She rolled her eyes.
“Dom? You got 10 seconds to talk to me as an adult or I’m hanging up. 10, 9, 8..”
“Tell me about Valentine’s Day in the Wood family household.”
“What?
“Tell me what Valentine’s Day was like for Lij growing up.”
“Well, let’s see. Mom and Dad barely talked to each other, much less gave each other valentines, and I had two older brothers, both of whom thought girls had cooties. So I would have to say that Valentines’ day was not a major holiday in the ‘Wood family household’. And why the hell do you want to know, any way? Or, rather, what thing has my brother done to confuse you this time?’
“Sappy crappy love poem. Crappy. A week before the actual day. And did I mention that it is one hellaciously crappy poem?”
“So write him one back, moron. Your brain is your friend. Stop being afraid to use it.”
“Oh, right, yeah, good one. I’ll have to remember that. Share it with you next time you dye your hair PURPLE.”
“It was lavender. I am cool and avant garde and I looked fabulous. You are lucky to even be talking to me. In fact, you aren’t cool enough to talk with me. Bye!”
“No! Shit, wait, Hannah! Wait!”
“Jesus, Dom, I was just joking. I’m still here.”
“Seriously, Han, I need to know what he wants. Is Valentine’s some big deal that I never knew about?”
“And how long have you guys been together? Just do what you’ve always done.”
“We’ve never done anything before, that’s the problem. We’ve never been in the same place.”
“But you talked on the phone, right? So just do what you did then.”
“Give it the old one-handed-I’m-on-the-phone-wank while talking dirty, then shooting our loads at the same time?”
The phone went dead. If he hadn’t honestly needed her advice, Dom would have counted that a victory in his favor. He hit redial.
“HANNAH-RE---“
The phone went dead.
He thunked the cell against the top of his head and hit redial again.
“What if he is reaching out to me and I miss it and end up hurting him?”
“He’s tough, you won’t. And I don’t care anyway.”
Good, she was talking to him. Just can’t resist the old Monaghan charm.
“Is there any trauma in his past?”
“Over Valentine’s Day? God, how pathetic would that be.”
“So there is.”
He heard her start to say something, change her mind, and fall silent.
“Hannah…” he coaxed.
“It…in first grade..I don’t think...”
“Hannah, luv, I need to know.”
“Okay, fine. When I started school, first grade, he was in third grade. This was like the last year Mom had him attend public schools because he was missing so many classes anyway.”
“Yeah, right.”
“So, I got to do the whole decorate the shoebox and exchange valentines thing, right? And I came home with a shoebox completely full. And Eli had maybe four, five at the most, and he hadn’t been there when they decorated the shoeboxes so he just had a paper sack with red hearts on it that the teacher had made for him. And he cried. And said he hated school. And he hated acting. And he hated me. And not long after that, Mom pulled him out of school entirely.”
“Shit.”
“Look, don’t make more of this than it is. It was a long time ago and it’s not like he doesn’t get hundred of valentines from his fans every year. He’s fine, Dom. Trust me on this one.”
But Dom had already pushed the End button on his cell phone, plotting and planning.
“Fine. Bye to you too, fuckface.” Hannah snapped her cell shut and resumed her normal life. But with a wicked little grin on her face. Messing with Dom’s head was just too easy.
Author: Hanarobi (hanarobi_muse@yahoo.com)
Pairing/Rating: ew/dm pg-13
Disclaimer: Not true. No profit.
I don’t know how I came to be
All winged and feathery.
I only know that since I am
I’m happy that it’s you with me.
Dom could only stare at the red construction paper heart with its fancy cursive writing and romantic flourishes. He read the poem once more (god, would this even qualify as a poem? Surely there is a Hall of Standards somewhere, judging and evaluating these kinds of things, and this poor little piece of doggerel shite wouldn’t stand a chance), bringing the total of times read to four. Repetition did not improve rhyme, cadence, or sentiment. Repetition improved the poem fuckall and no two ways about it.
Lovers can be difficult. Oblivious lovers impossible. But romantic oblivious lovers were the worst. Hands down, bob’s your uncle, discussion’s done and over an hour ago.
And still the gobshite expects a response. Dom chewed on his biro. Well, pen. An infinite variety of pens. Now why the hell did the most powerful country in the world, fuck that, in the history of the world, thank ya kindly, want to waste even an iota of their wealth on having 500 different types of pens. And there were 500. He’d counted. Did a google search and just kept the list going. For a couple of weeks. During his ‘down’ period.
And here’s Dominic Mohanty, fresh from his supporting role as Pippin in the Lords of the Rings sequel, on the red carpet. Tell us, Dominic, what was it like to work with Orlando Bloom, the hottest thing to ever come out of Hollywood?
Dom would then imagine stabbing the annoying reporter with his “nice, shiny dagger” while enumerating the errors and/or irritations in her opening statement. Work with both Sir Ians, and Chris Lee, and the bloody knobs asked about Orlando. Orlando? What was it like to work with Orlando? I’ll tell you what it was like to work with Orlando-didn’t-have-any-lines-and-it-damn-sure-wasn’t-because-he-was-an-elf-Bloom.
And then of course, Dom would feel terrible because he had learned to be loving and happy and centered and mature and he honestly was good mates with Orlando and really did wish him all the best, not that Orlando needed his well wishes given that he was off being even better mates with the Hollywood A-list (and those that actually deserved to be A-list)…and he had this beautiful girl friend, a blond starlet no less, and…
And then Dom growls at himself and rolls off the couch, stupid fucking valentine still in his hand, because what the fuck was he doing being jealous of Orlando with his girlfriend when he, Dominic Monaghan, the one and only, had the world’s most beautiful man as his own.
He was a lower than a lowly unworthy fart from the ass of one Billy Boyd. While said Boyd’s ass was clad in pink girly knickers. A Boyd fart trapped in pink knickers. Very low indeed. He felt rather badly for the fart.
Call Hannah! Brilliant. Ah, that Monaghan chap. The whole deal he was. Incredibly sexy body and a mind to rival Einstein’s. Elijah was the luckiest man in the world. Simple as that.
“HANNAH-NO-MAH, NAH-MEEE, HANNIEEEEE!”
Years of practice had taught Hannah to instantly recognize Dom’s voice over the phone and to hold the phone away from her ear until his initial greeting had wound down.
“Dominic, how lovely to have my eardrum pierced by you. Again.”
“Hannah, Hannah, Hannah….” Followed by sounds that made it seem as if Dom were trying to slurp up the phone. Which he might very well be doing. Probably was. She rolled her eyes.
“Dom? You got 10 seconds to talk to me as an adult or I’m hanging up. 10, 9, 8..”
“Tell me about Valentine’s Day in the Wood family household.”
“What?
“Tell me what Valentine’s Day was like for Lij growing up.”
“Well, let’s see. Mom and Dad barely talked to each other, much less gave each other valentines, and I had two older brothers, both of whom thought girls had cooties. So I would have to say that Valentines’ day was not a major holiday in the ‘Wood family household’. And why the hell do you want to know, any way? Or, rather, what thing has my brother done to confuse you this time?’
“Sappy crappy love poem. Crappy. A week before the actual day. And did I mention that it is one hellaciously crappy poem?”
“So write him one back, moron. Your brain is your friend. Stop being afraid to use it.”
“Oh, right, yeah, good one. I’ll have to remember that. Share it with you next time you dye your hair PURPLE.”
“It was lavender. I am cool and avant garde and I looked fabulous. You are lucky to even be talking to me. In fact, you aren’t cool enough to talk with me. Bye!”
“No! Shit, wait, Hannah! Wait!”
“Jesus, Dom, I was just joking. I’m still here.”
“Seriously, Han, I need to know what he wants. Is Valentine’s some big deal that I never knew about?”
“And how long have you guys been together? Just do what you’ve always done.”
“We’ve never done anything before, that’s the problem. We’ve never been in the same place.”
“But you talked on the phone, right? So just do what you did then.”
“Give it the old one-handed-I’m-on-the-phone-wank while talking dirty, then shooting our loads at the same time?”
The phone went dead. If he hadn’t honestly needed her advice, Dom would have counted that a victory in his favor. He hit redial.
“HANNAH-RE---“
The phone went dead.
He thunked the cell against the top of his head and hit redial again.
“What if he is reaching out to me and I miss it and end up hurting him?”
“He’s tough, you won’t. And I don’t care anyway.”
Good, she was talking to him. Just can’t resist the old Monaghan charm.
“Is there any trauma in his past?”
“Over Valentine’s Day? God, how pathetic would that be.”
“So there is.”
He heard her start to say something, change her mind, and fall silent.
“Hannah…” he coaxed.
“It…in first grade..I don’t think...”
“Hannah, luv, I need to know.”
“Okay, fine. When I started school, first grade, he was in third grade. This was like the last year Mom had him attend public schools because he was missing so many classes anyway.”
“Yeah, right.”
“So, I got to do the whole decorate the shoebox and exchange valentines thing, right? And I came home with a shoebox completely full. And Eli had maybe four, five at the most, and he hadn’t been there when they decorated the shoeboxes so he just had a paper sack with red hearts on it that the teacher had made for him. And he cried. And said he hated school. And he hated acting. And he hated me. And not long after that, Mom pulled him out of school entirely.”
“Shit.”
“Look, don’t make more of this than it is. It was a long time ago and it’s not like he doesn’t get hundred of valentines from his fans every year. He’s fine, Dom. Trust me on this one.”
But Dom had already pushed the End button on his cell phone, plotting and planning.
“Fine. Bye to you too, fuckface.” Hannah snapped her cell shut and resumed her normal life. But with a wicked little grin on her face. Messing with Dom’s head was just too easy.
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I *LURVE* Wingfic!
And you're such a brilliant and witty writer that it doesn't even have to have wings in it! I wanna be Hanna Wood, and mess with Dom's mind! Thank you!!!
!
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And messing with Dom's head is SOOO much fun!
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wow. WOW! I was bowled over. Your descriptions are so vivid (Dom looking at his "angel" in backlight). Your dialogue is so real and funny and poignant. I could start quoting but there's just too much that I like. I love this universe and your writing.
Hannah is great in this chapter, playing Dom like a voilin. I look forward to the next installment!
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