Title: All This Time Chapter 4

[sairalinde.livejournal.com]

Title: All This Time Chapter 4
Authors: sairalinde and anorienbean
Pairing: David Wenham/Craig Parker
Rating: NC-17 for graphic m/m sex
Archiving: Saira’s Library, Here With Me, Mirrormere, OEAM, others please ask first
Feedback: Yes, please. We live for it. Send to: sairalinde @ hornofgondor.com, or thechroniclesofosgiliath @ yahoo.com
Disclaimer: No money was made from this, and this in no way is meant to imply anything about the sexual preferences or practices of anyone mentioned within this story.
Summary: Craig knows that the only person he can really talk to about his string of failed relationships is his best friend, David, who’s always been there for him.







The two men settled more or less into a quiet routine. Craig made breakfast for David every morning, worked on his script while David went to his own job, and either had take-out or a home-cooked dinner ready when David came home. He often helped David with grading his student’s papers, and they usually settled down with books or movies until bedtime. Weekends found them comfortably cooking side by side, laughing and talking, enjoying each other’s company just as they always had in the past. The kiss was never discussed, but neither man forgot about how that one kiss had felt, and neither was willing to admit how much it had affected them.

The days turned into weeks, and before he knew it, Craig realized he’d been living with David for almost a month. David had refused to let him pay rent, but Craig often slipped out during the day to buy groceries and send a utility payment or two off in the mail, to at least make him feel like he wasn’t taking advantage. He also insisted on taking David out to dinner every Friday night. It wasn’t a date, exactly, he kept telling himself…simply two good friends who were otherwise unattached, having some fun and not having to deal with cooking or the inevitable clean up duties that followed.

This particular night had been Craig’s night to choose a restaurant, and he and David had enjoyed an authentic Italian dinner, complete with chocolate mousse for dessert. Afterwards, they’d caught a movie, and it was almost midnight when they finally unlocked David’s front door. Laughing, the two men entered the house and Craig headed straight for the couch, where he collapsed and leaned his head back. “God, that movie sucked,” he laughed. “You chose next Friday night. You’d think working in the movie business, I’d be able to find *something* worth watching, but apparently not.”

David laughed when Craig collapsed on the couch and said what he did about the movie. "I'd be glad to pick next time...it was... rather... um...difficult to follow?" David said diplomatically and laughing harder when Craig raised his head and gave him a pointed look. He saw the answering machine flashing and walked over to it, pushing the button as he collapsed on the couch next to Craig. The first message was from David's mother reminding him of his father's birthday in a few weeks, and the next was a voice David didn't recognize, the message was obviously for Craig and he felt a little awkward listening to it. As the man spoke on the other end of the phone David realized who it was...and swallowed hard. He hung his head automatically, knowing that soon Craig would probably be moving out again and back to California.

Craig stared at the answering machine as if it had suddenly grown legs and began to dance. It was Viggo. The man Craig had lived with for three years before Viggo had gotten a job in New Zealand. Viggo had asked Craig to go with him, but Craig had no interest in moving there for God-only-knew-how-long while Viggo filmed a trilogy. They’d tried to make it work, but after only a few months, Craig had flown down and had a heart to heart talk with the other man. They’d realized that neither of them was cut out for a long distance relationship, and the time had come to go their separate ways. Viggo met a fellow actor named Sean and Craig had eventually met up with Stuart.

It was strange hearing Viggo’s voice again, Craig thought. His voice was relaxed, though a bit hesitat as he hated answering machines with a passion, but he was asking if he could fly out and spend some time with Craig. He’d said he felt strange leaving a message on David’s machine, and apologized if he’d gotten the wrong information, but all their mutual friends in LA had told him that Craig was in his hometown, and staying with his best friend.

The machine beeped, signaling the end of the message, and the room was filled with silence for a moment. “Well, *that* was definitely unexpected,” Craig said, wondering what Viggo could possibly want after all this time.

David sat unmoving as the message played. Viggo was the one relationship Craig had that hadn't ended badly. It was just too difficult to keep up a long distance relationship, and they had parted amicably, and after hearing the message, David realized, there were probably still feelings between the two of them. He stared at his hands as the message clicked off and sighed as Craig spoke. "Yeah...he...must be back in L.A. again," he whispered, "I guess...well...obviously you should meet with him. He...must still care about you if he looked you up here...and wants to see you. You shouldn't pass up this chance; Viggo could be...the one for you. He had been a good guy and you had a good relationship before he had to leave," David said tamping down the surge of jealousy he felt.
He had to think of what was best for Craig...not himself. He couldn't stay David's permanent houseguest...he deserved a chance at happiness, and if he remembered right, Viggo was compassionate, and caring, a poet and artist as well as actor. He'd actually been a breath of fresh air, compared to the shallow jerks Craig had dated before...David should be happy for him. But he wasn't. He was jealous, and for that, he felt like a lousy friend. "You should call him back, it's still early in L.A. I think I'm just gona head to bed, I'm tired," David said standing up and moving toward his bedroom door.

Craig watched as David crossed the room, wondering why his friend had gone from lighthearted and laughing in one moment to quiet and suddenly tired the next. His first instinct had been to simply call Viggo back and tell him that he’d give him a call now and then, but that there was no need to fly all the way to Virginia. Craig had no intention of moving back to LA, or anywhere else for that matter, but David was always right in his advice, and he wondered if maybe he shouldn’t at least meet with Viggo. //It *has* been a month and you’ve not even began to look for an apartment. Maybe you’re overstaying your welcome?// “Um…ok. I’ll….I’ll call him back,” he said quietly, not at all thrilled at the prospect of speaking with his ex at the moment. “Hey, Daisy, are you ok? You’re not….sick or something are you?”

David stopped in the doorway to his bedroom and looked down at the floor. Mustering the best smile he could, he turned around and smiled at Craig. "No, it just hit me suddenly I guess when I sat down, exactly how tired I am. The students are always a bit rowdy on Friday's, especially this time of year...just getting old I guess," he said still smiling, though he honestly felt more like crying if he let himself. Which he would, once he was in the shower. //You've only *ever* been his friend, he doesn't want more than that and you know it. Get a grip on yourself!//

“Ok,” Craig said, not really buying David’s story but having no clue what was really wrong. “I….I guess I’ll call Viggo back and go to bed myself then…” His voice trailed off uncertainly and he sighed. “Come get me if you need anything though. I’m just down the hall…you know that. You don’t look all that well, to be honest. Still handsome as ever, but you look a little pale.” Standing up, he crossed the room and put the back of his hand against David’s forehead. “I mean it…come get me if you start to feel sick, ok?”

David leaned into Craig's touch momentarily before catching himself and drawing back. Laughing to cover his lapse, he shook his head, "I'm fine, but I'll come get you or at least scream if I need you," he grinned. "Goodnight, Craig," he reached out and gave Craig's hand a little squeeze. "See you in the morning."

Craig’s fingers curled around David’s for a moment and he nodded. “Night, Daisy,” he said softly. “Be thinking about what movie you want to see next Friday night.”

David had started to walk into his room and stopped, "I will," he said softly. //I doubt you'll even *be* here next Friday night, Craig.// He closed his door and leaned against his dresser trying to will the tears that were already forming in his eyes away. Instead of letting himself fall apart where Craig might hear him, he crossed to the bathroom to take a shower. Always safe to cry in the shower, the noise usually covered if you got a little carried away with it and sobbed.

Staring at the closed door, Craig shook his head and reluctantly crossed the hall to his room. He left the door open, just in case David needed him during the night and sat on the edge of the bed. Slowly flipping open his cell phone, he called Viggo. Half an hour later, he closed the cell and laid it on the nightstand, then undressed, wearing nothing but his boxers. Viggo had been his usual vague self, refusing to say exactly what he wanted, just insisting that it had been too long since they’d talked, and telling Craig that he’d be flying in late the next afternoon. He’d asked Craig if he and David were in a relationship, and Craig, somewhat surprised, had said that no, they were still best friends, just as they always had been. Viggo had chuckled and asked Craig to pick him up at the airport and said he’d see him in a few hours. Craig had shaken his head good naturedly, looking forward to seeing the other man again, but not feeling any of the feelings he’d have expected to feel. Honestly, he thought, if anything, he felt a little put out that Viggo was upsetting his plans…he and David had talked about going to a street fair in the next town on Saturday afternoon and Viggo hadn’t even asked if he had plans. //Oh well…maybe David will still want to go on Sunday afternoon.//

Craig lay back on the bed, his mind not on Viggo, but on David. He really *had* looked pale. Knowing him, he’d gotten sick and didn’t want to worry Craig. If anything, Craig was even more worried now. He knew he wouldn’t get any sleep until he checked one more time, so, without bothering to put on a shirt, he padded barefoot down to David’s door, where he knocked softly and called David’s name just loud enough so he’d hear if David was awake, but not so loud that he’d wake the other man if he were already asleep.

David had been lying in his bed trying to *stop* the tears which hadn't been easy. Once he let the floodgates open, so to speak, he hadn't been able to quite get them closed again. When he heard Craig at his door, he was grateful for the darkness of the room, and called out to him. "I'm awake," he said softly.

Craig opened the door and slipped into the room. “Hey,” he whispered. “I just wanted to check on you again.” Sitting on the edge of the bed, he started to reach for the lamp that sat on the nightstand. “Mind if I turn the light on? I just want to make sure you’re really ok.”

"No...no, I'm fine. It'll just hurt my eyes if you turn it on now that I'm accustomed to the dark," David lied quickly. "I'm fine, Craig. Really I am. Just tired, but...you know how it is sometimes, you feel exhausted but the mind won't shut off. I'll be fine in the morning, you...should get some rest," he said softly. Hating to ask the question but needing to know, he sighed softly, "So did you call Viggo?"

Craig’s hand slid back and rested on his lap. “Sorry,” he said. “Rest your eyes.” Picking idly at the blanket beside him, he sighed. “Yeah, I called him. He wants to fly in tomorrow and have dinner. Hey…why don’t you come too? We can go to the street festival, pick him up at the airport, have dinner, take him to a hotel or something. He’ll probably be flying back on Sunday. I hated to mess up our plans, but he had already bought his ticket. Viggo’s…kind of impulsive like that.”

David shifted slightly under the covers and sighed, "No, it's ok. You need to meet with him without me tagging along. We can go some other time...some other year. It's ok, Craig. Really, if I was him, I'd be impatient to see you too after so long," he said softly.

//Some other *year*?// “Well….ok,” Craig said, wishing that he’d just told Viggo to cancel his ticket. “At least say you’ll go with me to take him back to the airport on Sunday, and we can go to the festival after that, ok? I don’t want to wait a year…” He felt like Viggo had ruined both their weekends and was finding himself slightly angry with his ex.

"We'll see," David said softly, firmly believing that Craig will be going *with* Viggo. "Get some sleep, Craig. And don't worry...I do have a lot of papers to grade so I've plenty to do," he said softly. He didn't want to meet Viggo, he didn't want to see him, and he didn't want to spend any time around the man that would be taking Craig away from him.

Craig felt as if he’d been dismissed, and sat in silence for a moment before standing up. “Ok, Daisy,” he said, trying to keep the hurt from his voice. “I’m going to book a hotel for him and go to bed then. See you in the morning.” Walking to the door, he turned back and gave a sad smile. “How about some omelets in the morning? And waffles?” He was determined to make David feel better….it was clear something was wrong, but Craig had no idea what it was. “Feel better so you can enjoy that. I bought a waffle maker yesterday and you can be the guinea pig when I try it out for the first time. How’s that sound?”

David smiled, "That sounds great. As long as I can help? I'm sure I'll feel up to it in the morning....sorry...I'm not much company tonight," he whispered. He could tell he'd made Craig uneasy but he couldn't control how he felt. His heart was breaking, and tomorrow night when Craig came home, he knew he'd be helping Craig pack up and drive him to the airport like the loyal friend he'd always been. Loyal, dependable Daisy...he sounded like a fucking golden retriever.

“You’re always the best company I’ve ever had,” Craig said softly as he slipped out the door. “Hey…mind if I leave the door open just a little, in case you feel worse? That way if you need me, you won’t have to get up…just call out for me. I’ll listen for you, ok?”

David couldn't help but laugh softly, "Yeah...don't think I'm on death's door but...thanks. I'll holler if I need you," he said smiling, despite the ache in his chest. //I need you right now, Craig. I'll always need you...but I know I can't have you. I only hope that Viggo's the one that you need to find happiness.//

“Ok, good night….again.” Craig said quietly as he started down the hall. Opening his door, he entered the guest room and looked at the empty bed. “Sweet dreams, Daisy,” he whispered to himself, wondering why he wasn’t happier about the prospect of seeing Viggo again, and wondering if he should start looking for an apartment in the next few days. //Yep…definitely overstayed my welcome, I think.// Curling up on the bed, Craig pulled a pillow against his chest and stared out the window, trying to muster up some enthusiasm for the next day. The enthusiasm never really came, and it was several hours later before he slipped into a troubled, restless sleep.

David lay in his bed for hours, not ever truly falling asleep until the first dappled rays of sunlight began to filter into the room. He could not get the thought of Craig moving back to California off his mind. This last month had been wonderful, even if they were still *just* friends....and that kiss...God that kiss. He had to resign himself to the fact it would be the *only* kiss he'd ever share with Craig.

~~~
TBC