ext_46251 ([identity profile] sairalinde.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] fellowshippers2005-10-31 07:44 pm

A Different Light Chapter: 10

A Different Light Chapter: 10
Authors: [livejournal.com profile] sairalinde & [livejournal.com profile] anorienbean
Pairing: David Wenham/Craig Parker
Rating: Adult for graphic m/m sex
Warnings: None for now
Archiving: Saira’s Library, Here With Me, Mirrormere, OEAM, others please ask first
Feedback: Yes, please. We live for it. Send to: sairalinde @ hornofgondor.com, or thechroniclesofosgiliath @ yahoo.com
Disclaimer: None of this happened except in our fantasies. We are in no way are implying anything about the sexual preferences of either of our main characters, or any other peripheral characters used in this story.
Summary: A wealthy businessman is forced to do volunteer work and meets a handsome social worker who changes his views about the homeless and about love.

//Indicate thoughts




David lay awake until the clock beside the bed read 3:17. He hadn't been able to fall asleep as he thought about Craig's final words to him before drifting off. //He loves me. God I *want* to tell him that I love him too...but...do I? Really? How do I know? How do you know for sure that you love someone? I've always thought love was a marketing ploy developed by greeting card companies, but I've changed so much. Just in the short time I've known him, I've changed. I never wanted *this* before, to take care of someone, to hold them, to just *be* with them. That's love right? Love...or just affection? How do you draw a distinction between the two? I enjoy spending time with him, he makes me laugh, and God he is so sexy. I could just drown in his eyes sometimes. I do care about him, more than I've ever cared about anyone in my life. I want him, physically but...I also find that I want just to spend time, to talk, to share the silliest things with him. Is that what love is? I've always believed that you don't say anything unless you are sure, absolutely sure. So...will it break his heart if I don't say it back? God I can't see pain in those eyes...I can't. What am I going to do if he says it again?// Finally giving up on the thoughts circling through his mind over and over, David drifted off to sleep.

It was after 7 AM when Craig opened his eyes, feeling much better than he had the day before and almost back to his old self. David was still holding him tightly, and Craig smiled and snuggled closer, unwilling to move just yet. He had a feeling there was *something* from last night he should remember, but it was all a blur. He was already late for work, but somehow, figuring out the last few hours was more important than getting to work this morning. Besides, neither of them was actually *supposed* to be at work until 9, so they had a little time.

Moving slightly within the circle of David’s arms, Craig looked up at his lover and ran a gentle hand down the side of his face. The night before came back to him in bits and pieces…he’d taken those damned allergy pills. Quite a few, in fact, and remembered being so sleepy David had to move him from his desk to the couch in his office. Someone had come in, needing…something. Hugo? Astin? He vaguely remembered seeing them, but didn’t remember what they’d wanted. He did, however, know that David had taken care of whatever it was…and taken care of Craig. Had driven him home, carried him to their bed, undressed him, and held him all night. It was the first night they’d spent together and not made love, and David hadn’t even mentioned going home. He remembered soft kisses and gentle touches…and David smiling down at him so tenderly and calling him ‘baby’ more than once. If there’d been any doubt that what they had was deeper than sex, this last night had quelled those doubts.

The soft whisper of David’s voice rang in his head, telling him he thought Craig was beautiful. And he could distinctly remember telling David he loved it when he called him ‘baby.’ It was somehow so sweet, so precious, that a man like David, who, according to Dom, didn’t believe in love, would say that…and say it to someone so sick and whiney at that. But there was something else…//Oh God. Did I actually tell him I loved him?// Craig blinked and wiped at his eyes, trying to convince himself that he was dreaming. //Shit shit shit!// He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to put everything into prospective. When his eyes opened again, he’d made his decision. //Well, if I did, it’s only the truth. He’ll have to hear it one day, because I can’t keep this inside forever. I do love him, whether he loves me back or not. And I’m tired of hiding it and being terrified of letting it slip.//

David felt the warmth of Craig against him, that was the first thought that registered in his mind as he began to wake up. He blinked a couple times and looked down at Craig who was gazing up at him with bright eyes that were no longer red and swollen. "Hey," he whispered and cleared his throat. "You look like you feel better this morning."

Craig smiled and ran his fingers through David’s sleep tousled hair. “I am,” he smiled. “I had someone here taking care of me and watching over me all night. Someone very special and kind and attentive. I think this someone even carried me to bed.”

David smiled, "Hmm, don't know about that special, kind, and attentive, part but I did watch over you and carry you to bed. I think Hugo and another young man who’s name I didn't get would say I'm far from kind," David said remembering how he'd treated both men when he wanted them to leave Craig alone.

Craig laughed and shook his head. “I vaguely remember something about that,” he said, letting his fingers curl idly in the soft hairs that covered his lover’s chest. “I’ve been laying here trying to remember what all happened last night, but it’s all kind of…fuzzy.”

"I'm not surprised. I'm going to extract a promise from you, don't you ever, ever take that many allergy pills so close together. Once I'd realized what you did it scared the hell out of me," David scolded though he grinned. "Even though you were really quite cute."

Craig blushed and giggled. “Cute? I think stupid is more like it. I seem to remember something about my shirt not working and trying to explain exactly what caretaker meant.” He leaned up on one elbow and placed a light kiss to David’s cheek. “But I do promise about the pills. I’m sorry I ruined our evening. Maybe we can make up for it tonight if I promise to be more entertaining and less stupid?”

"You aren't stupid," David said frowning. "I don't care for that word, especially in relation to you. Everyone has the um...occasional lapse of judgment. And we don't have to make up for it unless you want to. I was perfectly content to take the night off and just hold you in my arms all night." It was true, he had enjoyed taking care of Craig. "We can always just rent a movie, order pizza and camp out on the couch tonight if you want," he suggested trailing his fingers through Craig's sleep mussed hair.

“I think that sounds perfect,” Craig grinned, snuggling closer. They lay there for a few moments in silence, and Craig took a deep breath. Leaning back up on his elbow, he stared down at his lover and smiled. “I remember a few other things from last night as well,” he whispered.

David raised his eyebrow and shook his head, "We didn't do anything, just slept...ok might have felt you up a little bit," he teased.

Craig burst out laughing and shook his head. “I was kind of hoping you had,” he grinned. “But I was thinking more about before you felt me up….like when you called me ‘baby.’ I loved that. Though…I’m thinking that I told you I loved that last night, didn’t I? Or was that part a dream?”

David smiled as Craig laughed and then nodded as he asked about him calling him baby. "I did call you baby, and yes you did tell me that you loved that..." David trailed off wondering what else Craig remembered and feeling himself get a little nervous. He wasn't ready to say the words back...he wasn't sure yet. He knew he thought that he might be in love with Craig but he didn't want to say anything until he was sure...and he wasn't certain he'd ever be sure.

Craig swallowed the lump in his throat and took another deep breath. He gently placed his index finger over David’s lips and shook his head. “I want to say something to you, but I don’t want you to respond, no matter what, ok? I just….I need to say this, and get it out in the open, before I let it slip and get all embarrassed. But I don’t want you to respond in any way. Promise?” He honestly *did* want David to respond, but Craig didn’t think he was ready. Not yet. Maybe never, but certainly not today. When and if he heard the words back, he wanted it to be because David felt it, not because he was simply responding to Craig and trying not to hurt his feelings.

David nodded slowly as he gazed into Craig's eyes. He looked as nervous as David felt, and he thought he knew what he might say. He hoped that Craig wasn’t about to take it back. He'd enjoyed hearing him say that he loved him.

Craig bit his bottom lip for a moment and tried to calm his pounding heart. “David, I….I want to say this now, and I can’t promise I won’t say it in the future, because it’s so very true. I’ve almost let it slip a few times, and I’m just tired of guarding myself over this, so I just want to say it once and for all. I…I love you. I’ve loved you for almost as long as we’ve known each other, and I want you to know that. I’ll try not to say it anymore if it bothers you, but that won’t make it any less true.” He fought the urge to look down, and kept his gaze steadily on his lover’s. “I just needed to say that. Please don’t run out of the room screaming.”

David reached up and took Craig's hand as his fingers slipped from his lips. "I'm not going anywhere," he whispered. "And I thought my heart had stopped when you said it last night, and again just now. It doesn't bother me, I...I honestly can't believe you want to love me. I'm not the most loving person in the world, and I know that. I...I care about you Craig, a great deal. I've found that I need you and I want you in my life...will...will that be enough for now?" he asked wishing that he could return the words, but he couldn't. Not until he knew if what he felt was actually love. Since he'd never felt it before he thought it might be, but David worked in a world of facts. Of certainties. This...*Craig* was too important not to hold back on saying those words until he was positive.

Craig smiled at his lover and placed a soft kiss to his forehead. He did want David to say that he loved him….wanted it more than anything. But he wanted to hear it when David *felt* it, and not a minute before. He had to believe that one day he would hear those three words, because, as much as he loved David, he needed to be loved in return. But for now, it was plenty. “It’s more than enough,” he said softly. “And you may not say it, but you make me feel more loved than I’ve ever felt in my life. That, to me, shows me that you’re more loving than you even know.” He rested his head back on David’s shoulder and relaxed. “So, you’re all right with me saying it now and again? I won’t drive you crazy with it, but if it slips, we’re still ok?”

David smiled and wrapped his arms around Craig, "More than ok, you can say it whenever you like," he whispered feeling relieved that Craig accepted what he could offer him for now. David pressed a soft kiss to Craig's forehead and simply held him close. "I honestly don't want to go to work today but I promised that young man from the shelter that he could come in to talk to me about a job," David said softly. "What was his name anyway? Afraid I was too busy biting his head off to get it."

Craig’s eyes sparkled and he rolled his eyes. “Astin,” he sighed. “Sean Astin. He comes and goes from the shelter a lot. Hasn’t been here in months, but…apparently he’s back now. He’s a good kid, just….just….lacking in direction. He’s just….well, you’ll see.” Stretching, Craig moved to sit up and shook his head. “Let’s go get a shower and you can take me to work? And we can curl up tonight with pizza and a few movies?”

"Shower sounds good, I'll drop you off, and then be back tonight with pizza and movies...and some microwave popcorn too I think. Sound like a plan?" David asked, sitting up beside Craig and pulling him into his lap. "Though first I think I'd like to get in a good morning kiss," he whispered, pressing his lips to Craig's in a gentle kiss.

“Sounds perfect,” Craig said, wrapping his arms around his lover and returning his kiss. When David pulled away after a moment, Craig pretended to pout. “Only one good morning kiss?” he asked. “I was thinking three, bare minimum.”

"Well," David said pressing his lips against Craig's again before pulling away, "Well I was thinking we could get in a whole bunch more in the shower," he teased. "If you're feeling up to it that is," he whispered leaning in for another kiss, trailing his tongue over Craig's lower lip and nibbling at it gently. "Your house, your rules of course."

Craig nibbled David’s bottom lip for a moment and laughed. “I’m quite feeling up to it, but if I get to make the rules, I’m making a brand new one right now. Showers require at least six kisses from each of us, on any body part that we deem needs a kiss. And I’ve got one particular body of yours in mind right now that needs some special attention, if you don’t mind.”

David laughed "I think I like your rules," he teased. "We'd better get started then if we are to reach our goal before we have to be at work," he grinned. They eventually made their way to the bathroom and the shower, but they were both late for work.


~~~
TBC

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